Quote: Learn to Be Calm I felt strained and tense when I began the drive along the Redwood Highway in northern California. I had wanted to take another road, one quicker but less scenic, to get to my destination. At the last moment, I decided to drive through the trees. Thousands of redwoods grew hundreds of feet into the air. Some stood tall and proud. Some seemed to have their necks craned, so they could peer down onto the highway. Some grew with roots connected, like families. Some stood alone. Mile after mile after mile, for as far as I could see in any direction, thousands of trees surrounded me. Their power and message became inescapable. It was one of calmness, patience, and growth. For hundreds of years they have been here, patiently seeing things through. Little ruffled them. They just kept on growing for all those years-- steadily, patiently, peacefully, calmly. They have been through enough, seen enough, to know not to worry. Things work out. Change happens. Life continues to evolve. I didn't see one tree hurrying or worrying. They have been here long enough to learn life's lessons well. Learn a lesson from the redwoods. Let them teach the power of patience and calm. Life goes on. Things happen. People change. Times move along. There are stories to live and stories to tell, but we can be calm and know that, always, all is well. - Journey to the Heart Saw this reading this morning. Didn't know how much I would need it. After putting my back out, I went to my chiropractor. As I walked to his office, I saw a whole lot of patient plants in all different colours. I thought, guess that means I am going to need to practice patience today. When I got home to my building, I found that only one elevator was working. The people waiting were really pushy and grumbling. I didn't get home until noon and had to eat my lunch before I came to work. I too was in a hurry but that isn't a reason to push someone out of the way. It amazes me how some people can come in last and expect to go to the head of the line. I am waiting to see if a friend of mine can take me to the doctor's as they are calling for thunder storms again. If she can take me, or if I can get someone else to do it, it will take out the stress of going on the bus for an hour there and back and being back by 1 p.m. for Helping Hands. My appointment is 10:45 am so it is cutting things really close. If she can drive me, it takes the stress out of the situation. Stress triggers pain, and I certainly don't need more. I just try to say the Serenity Prayer, take deep breathes and just let things go. I can't make things happen any faster and things will happen when they happen and I am powerless over people, places, and things.

A Hug For You http://www.angelwinks.net/images/friends/friends26.jpg I've got a hug Meant just for You Warm and cuddly Maybe even two. And with this card You will hear me say "I hope things are fine And to have a great day!" My hug sends love And best wishes, too, I'll always have more Just waiting for You! ©AngelWinks 2002

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Some addicts have returned to using mind-affecting chemicals because they tried to 'cope forever' and couldn't face never, ever using anything again. But you can maintain abstinence by just not picking up that first dose of anything NOW. Forget forever. Give me the understanding that what I cannot do for a lifetime, I may easily do right now.

My experience has been that Twelve Steps are Twelve Steps. It is always better to go somewhere that you can identify more readily with what is being shared, yet no matter what the substance is, if it is out of control, it is already a problem. I went to a friend's one year anniversary in CA and the speaker was a girl who only used cocaine and never drank alcohol. I never used cocaine and I am a recovering alcoholic. She told my story and my recovery so well that my ex-boyfriend who was with me at the time, recognized my words coming from her. As I once heard at a meeting, "If you have to control it, it is already out of control." The five As to change are Awareness, Admittance, Acceptance, Action and Attitude. The Big Book says that Spirituality is a change in attitude sufficient to bring about recovery. Of ourselves, we can't do it. Together, we can do what I can't do alone. Try to read the posts, and try to identify not compare. All substances lead to the same soul sickness. Knowing what to do, and having the power to do it is the difference between normal and healthy eating and addiction. When I tried to quit alcohol at 41, I substituted prescription drugs. I could quit drinking, but I couldn't stay stopped. In the end, I had problems with both and along the way I discovered other addictions like work, food, gambling, computers and other things that took me back to places I didn't like to be. With the help of the program, I am able to see when I am acting out in my disease, and I can turn to the God of my understanding and ask for help. It works if I work it. Just reading about it and knowing is not enough, I must come to a place of acceptance and follow it up with a plan of action. My eating disorder doesn't allow me to eat. I eat so much and then I can't eat anymore. I can't finish what is on my plate. For some to eat is to die. For some, to not eat is to die. It takes many forms of sickness, and not all the same habits and patterns, but again it is a mental, emotional, spiritual and physical disease.

There are many forms of eating disorders. Some of them are just habits of unhealthy eating and lack of self-care. I have heard several stories and one of them is that to eat one meal a day is one of the unhealthiest things we can do to our bodies. It doesn't give us the energy we need to function through the day. My ex-boyfriend only ate one meal about 4 p.m. when I met him and he started work at 5 a.m. and lived on coffee through the day. After he ate, all he could do was lie down and sleep. Then he started eating lunch, but he had the old habits and he ate after work between one and two stuffing himself, then eating again later in the day, and all he wanted was to sleep, He didn't work off the food, didn't metabolize it properly, and he ate two helping and three if it was available. At the end of the day a bed time snack was a bag of cookies and a huge bowl of ice cream or a bag of chips and a couple of sandwiches. I firmly believe I am what I put into my body. I put on weight cooking for him yet I only ate about a third of what he ate. There are people like my son who can eat huge amounts of food and never gain an ounce. I swear I get fat just looking at what he eats. Today I try to eat balanced meals and eat three times a day. Very seldom do I eat in between meals, and I think the quantity has a lot to do with it. Eating until I am stuffed and can't move just because I like it or want more isn't something I can allow myself on a daily basis. This is what I take to God. I can't, God can and I have to let Him on a daily basis. My problem is that I don't want to eat. I know that when I don't put food and healthy food into my body, my body bloats and I develop stomach disorders, activate my irritable bowel and bladder disorder from my fibromyalgia and I get a lot of pain. My mother died at the age of 40 weighing 240 lbs. For me to gain weight is to live in fear and anxiety which causes more pain and more reason to stuff. It affects my self-esteem and self-worth and I go into depression because I don't like myself. If I put on weight, it affects the rest of my body and causes breathing problems, back aches carrying the excess weight along with anger at myself and others and that also cause body irritation. Even my feet and legs are affected, especially if I don't get a lot of exercise. It is a vicious circle and affects all parts of my body. I will put so much on my plate and if some of what I am eating I think of as 'fattening' I can't eat what is on my place. Pasta for some reason is something I can never finish and generally end up throw some of it out. It can be only a few pieces, but I feel like if I eat it, I will upchuck and lose everything that I have eaten. I have to give myself permission to eat. I have to allow myself certain portions of food. I have to balance healthy food and exercise. I have to take things to God on a daily basis, it is so easy for me to substitute food for others things, especially when I am in an emotional state. As my friend says, cutting back on the quantity of food shrinks the stomach. My aunt use to use a smaller plate and would only eat what fit on that plate. It does work when you work it. I certainly can identify with the mental obsession and the craving for more. I always need to remember that I can not trigger a craving until I pick up and 'use'; food is an inanimate object until such a time as I choose to pick it up and put it in my mouth. Picking it up and looking at it, taking it out of the refrigerator, putting it on the stove and cooking it still doesn't make me 'eat' it. It is only when I eat it that it affects me. The mental obsession I take to God. The mindless thought I try to acknowledge and let go of it instead of giving into it. God can, I can't, just for today, I will let Him give me the strength, the courage, and the integrity to do what I need for my health and well being.

"What would an adult do in this situation?

http://www.animated-gifs.eu/phone-240x320-farm/0049.gif

So many times we have to come to a decision. We sometimes forget that when we pick up that first drink or drug, we stopped growing to our full potential. I stole that first taste of wine at 10 years old, so that means I am only 33 instead of 72 years old. At 33, I was going into 2nd abusive marriage. Don't want to go through that again.

I had to heal and grow up. I also had to allow my inner child to come out and play. Many times she was subdued and not allowed to be herself.

They also say, the same about the first traumatic event in our life. I saw my brother killed when he was run over by a truck which was driven by my uncle. That would mean I am only 26. A true food for thought.


http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...r-inner-child/

http://www2.potsdam.edu/alcohol/Heal...127400726.html

http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/healt...her_drugs.aspx

http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/healt...her_drugs.aspx

Think is a slogan I always need to put into action. Being an Aries, I am a very reactive person. It brings to mind also my son's words, "You don't listen to me!" and this reminds me that often, even when he isn't using, I put him into a category and forget his humanness. He does have freedom of choice and it isn't my job to take it away, when I try to do that I am playing God with his life and I always have to think back where I came from and remember when. I prefer the think think think of AA, which reminds me I can't do three things at once, and that I need to stop and think, but most importantly think in today! A little thought of the past so I don't repeat the same mistakes, and think of the future as far as goals are concerned, but I always need to be mindful of the fact that all I have is the past to base the future on. When I am projecting into the future, I am often projecting doubt, fear, anxiety as well as hope, faith and promise, and none of it is a reality because I am no longer in control, my Higher Power is.

Food for Thought Changing As we lose weight, we adjust to a new self. Part of the body we had is disappearing, and this can be frightening. As our physical appearance changes, others may react to us differently. Along with the physical changes come new attitudes and expectations. Though for years we may have wished to be rid of the fat, when it actually begins to go we may fear the change. What is new and unknown is often frightening. We may have used food and fat to retreat from uncomfortable situations. We may have spent so much time eating that there was little left for anything else. We may have expected all our troubles to vanish with the excess pounds. Now we can no longer hide behind fat or kill time with food, and our troubles may very well still be with us. What do we do? It takes courage to change, to become a new person. We may decide at age forty to learn to play tennis. That takes lots of courage. New activities, new attitudes, changes in relationships with others--all require courage. Change is frightening, but it is also an adventure. We are not alone. We have OA. Others have gone through the same changes and can reassure us, one step at a time. May I not be afraid to change.

WE CAN HANDLE ALL THAT COMES TO US We are never divorced from our past - we are in company with it forever, and it acquaints us with the present. Our responses today reflect our experiences yesterday. And these roots lie in the past. We look at the past, check that which appears to be negative and mentally correct it by handling it in our mind as we would now. Then release it and begin again fresh and new. Everyday is offering us preparation for the future, for lessons to come, without which we'd not offer our full measures to the design which contains the development of all of us. Our experiences, past and present are not coincidental. We will be introduced to those experiences that are consistent with our talents and the right lessons designated for the part we are requested to play in life. We can remember that no experiences will attract us that are beyond our capabilities to handle. PEARL S. BUCK wrote, "One faces the future with one's past." Are you able to recognize situations in your past and mentally correct them now? - Antestian Newsletter

Thoughts for the Day
Saturday, September 27, 2014

I will not give my power away
It is my happiness, mine
I create it, not you; I decide to be, not you
You can come into my happinesss
But you cannot create it or destroy it
You can only enlarge it
Bernie Siegel

“I am still determined to be cheerful and happy,
in whatever situation I may be;
for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.”
Mercy Otis Warren to Martha Washington (Capt. John Warren's wife)
He who has so little knowledge of human nature
as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition
will waste his life in fruitless efforts.”
Samuel Johnson

Thoughts for the Day
Friday, September 26, 2014

“Handle them carefully,
for words have more power than atom bombs.”
Pearl Strachan
“You can change your world by changing your words…
Remember, death and life
are in the power of the tongue.”
Joel Osteen
“One learns that worlds are made by words
and not only hammers and wires.
James Hillman

Thoughts for the Day
Thursday, September 25, 2014

“Stop harboring grudges against those who have wronged you,
it just holds you back when you really want to be in the NOW.”
Stephen Richards
“Forgiveness is for yourself because it frees you.
It lets you out of that prison you put yourself in.”
Louise L. Hay
"Forgiveness is not a moral issue.
It is an energy dynamic…
Forgiveness means that you do not carry
the baggage of an experience.
When you choose not to forgive,
the experience that you do not forgive sticks with you.
When you choose not to forgive,
it is like agreeing to wear dark,
gruesome sunglasses that distort everything,
and it is you who are forced every day to look at life
through those contaminated lenses
because you have chosen to keep them."
Gary Zukav
'The Seat Of The Soul'

Thoughts for the Day
Wednesday, September 24, 2014

“Every time your heart is broken,
a doorway cracks open
to a world full of new beginnings, new opportunities.”
Patti Roberts
The Angels Are Here
“The truth is that all of us are always moving toward
exploring the wounds that need healing.
Our progress may not always be obvious or smooth,
but love will deliver everything unlike itself
to our doorstep for healing.”
Louise Hay and David Kessler
You Can Heal Your Heart
“Healing is the journey.
The destination is yourself.
The full recognition of all the different aspects of yourself—
your joy, your sorrow, your pain, your pleasure—
all lead you to the source of who you are.
Only by having intimate contact with this source
can you experience the fullness of your life.
Only by fearlessly looking within
can you embrace the landscape of your life
and open yourself completely to all the love
and compassion that lives inside you.”
Philip Berk

Thoughts for the Day
Tuesday, September 23, 2014

“When the soul wants to experience something,
she throws out an image in front of her
and then steps into it.”
Meister Eckhart
“To know what you prefer
instead of humbly saying Amen
to what the world tells you ought to prefer,
is to have kept your soul alive.”
Robert Louis Stevenson
“The price tag that you put on your soul
will determine the people and circumstances
in which you find yourself.”
Shannon L. Alder

Thoughts for the Day
Monday, September 22, 2014

“Fear is the main source of superstition,
and one of the main sources of cruelty.
To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.”
Bertrand Russell
“Fears are educated into us,
and can, if we wish, be educated out.”
Karl Augustus Menninger
“You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember,
fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind.”
Dale Carnegie

Thoughts for Sunday,
September 21, 2014

”What is it that we all believe in
that we cannot see or hear or feel or taste or smell –
this invisible thing that heals all sorrows,
reveals all lies and renews all hope?
What is it that has always been and always will be,
from whose bosom we all came
and to which we will all return?
Most call it Time.
A few realize that it is God.”
Robert Brault
“You each hold the power, the beauty,
the fulfillment that only God can bring –
the courage, the hope,
the Glory of God instilled inside your heart
to ensure that miracles become your everyday reality
here on earth.
This is what I wish for you:
the security and bliss
that only your relationship with God can bring.”
Dr. Bernie Siegel
“If you have never known the power of God's love,
then maybe it is because you have never asked to know it –
I mean really asked, expecting an answer.”
Frederick Buechner
The Magnificent Defeat

We landed in England. I visited Winchester Cathedral. Much moved, I wandered outside. My attention was caught by a doggered on an old tombstone: "Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier Who caught his death Drinking cold bear. A good soldier is ne'er forgot Whether he dieth by musket Or by pot." Ominous warning-which I failed to heaed. From Bill's Story

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote We're all here because we're not all there.- Fr Joe M. In a way this is very true, because every time I picked up a drink or a drug, I gave away a piece of me. It just sounds hurtful, and although I liked to think I had thick skin, things like this bothered me. Have heard that line many times over the years, and yet it is part of the saying we hear in the room that I find abusive. When we are new in recovery, we need affirmations and made to feel worthy. One of the things that really got me going was calling sponsees pigeons. It might have been because there was an issue with them in my building, but I think they are the dirtiest of the dirty, and that is how I felt when I came in and I didn't like having it affirmed by someone trying to be cute. I brought it up at a meeting once and was told, it was good for Bill and Dr. Bob so it is good enough for me. Well life changes, we have new awareness, and I don't think they realized in the 1930s that it was abusive. It is like the old saying, "Putting someone down to make you feel good. In 1930, I don't think that there was any thought of young people coming into the program, and there were not many women, and all the alcoholics were good old boys. Don't know where that all came from, but guess it needed to be said.