Unfortunately, not feeling too much joy n the moment as I am in a lot of pain. The nice thing is that when I come on line and share on the site, it helps me to get out of the pain.

It is a joy for me to be able to come and share each day.

If you name it, in today, I would probably have to claim it or give it some deep thought!

For me, love and compassion. As the Bible says, "Do onto others as you would have them do unto you."

I was told that trust had to be earned. I trusted until that person proved me wrong and did something to break my trust. In order for me to trust them again, they had to show me that they were trust worthy. I try in today to not do what I did in the past. I don't let one person's actions be the barometer which I applied to all people. Every one is a person onto themselves, and I try not to put everyone under the same umbrella.

It shows me that I need my God to lead and guide me through the obstacles.

Quite often an obstacle is rooted in the past and I need to go deeper to find a solution. I need to heal and look how I can learn from my past by seeing what not to do! ;)

So much of recovery is grief work, and obstacles are something we need to acknowledge, process and let go of. Any change is a grieving process.

http://www.childhoodbraintumor.org/i...stics-of-grief

Monday, July 21, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Dependency (on another human being) is the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another.
—M. Scott Peck

No matter what we may think, overdependence on another can be very unloving because it drains others of any chance for personal growth. Those of us who have been dependent on other people are so busy acquiring love that we ourselves have no energy left to truly give love. It's as if we're starving and scrambling for every little bit of love we can find, with no thought to offering it to others. No wonder they often quickly get tired of us.

We can't force or expect others to do things with us, talk to us, or love us. The way to be surely loved is to be worthy of it. We can work at being worthy by exercising our freedom to feel and do things without others' permission, and to allow them the same opportunity.

What can I do on my own today?

Over the years, I have found myself depending too much on my son. I had to plan alternative plans, and call different services that were available, instead of expecting him to do for me.

I had Helping Hands for 8 years. He said, "Don't worry mum, I'll do it for you. As his disease grew, it became a "I'll do it when I feel like it." I don't like the lack of good cleaning practices, so don't want to call them again, but I need to look for an alternative. I am hoping with the physio, I will be able to do more myself.

Over the years, I had to give myself permission to go out for a walk on a sunny day, just because I felt like it. I had to give myself permission to lay down for a nap. I had to learn to listen to my body and look at my motive and intent. Was it good for me or was it a cop out, the way it was when I was in active addiction.

As the Reader`s Digest has been saying for years, `Laughter is the best medicine.`

It does heal, especially when we can laugh at our own antics.

We can see, we are given freedom of choice as to whether we want to be a part of it, set boundaries, and/or detach.

Freedom is another favourite and why I kept coming back. I wanted to be free from my addiction. I wanted to be free to be me.

Addiction blocked my path to my God, I couldn't see Him, all I could see and think of was that next fix. This is not a quick fix program, it is a living program.

As they say in recovery, life doesn't get better, I do!

Friday, July 25, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

He wanted to hold onto his fury, to guard it like a treasure. He would not let it be stolen from him . ... But already, he felt it slipping, softened by Ben's compassionate touch.
—Joe Johnston and Nilo Rodis-Jamero

The glassblower is an artist who takes broken glass and melts it in a very hot furnace. Then the glassblower blows through a long tube and creates objects such as cups and plates and pieces of art.

The sharp edges of our anger are like pieces of broken glass. We all have things in our lives that anger us - it is only human to bump into our sharp edges. One edge might be crabby, another silent and withdrawn, and still another yelling and screaming.

The heat of love and compassion can melt our anger. This may take the form of sympathy for ourselves, or for the people we love. More often, it is the compassion of those around us that helps melt our anger. Sometimes saying I'm sorry is a good way to melt anger and find the love underneath it.

What beauty can I create with my anger today?

When I got angry prior to recovery, it was an ugly thing to see or being the recipient. In today, I can express myself in a healthy, and the hissy fits are few and far between. As they say in the rooms of recovery, when I get angry, I need to focus on myself instead of the person.

In early recovery I saw my friend's ex-husband who abuse her and her son. I stood at the light totally paralyzed by my rage. I had gone out to get pop and chips, and went home and asked my guests to leave. I wasn't able to speak about it, and it wasn't my story to tell. I had to process. What a difference, one day can make. I stayed sober and didn't have to use, now that is something beautiful.

Saturday, July 26, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Isn't it great life is open-ended!
—Brigitte Frase

Elizabeth Lawton, known as "Grandma Layton," is an American artist who never drew a picture until she was sixty-eight years old. She spent all the years before that time trying to cope with depression. She had gone through therapy, medications, and shock treatment and continued to be severely depressed. But then she signed up for an art class and the act of drawing cured her depression. She continues to make fabulous pictures.

What does she think about the critical acclaim her artwork has received? She says she wants others to know about her art so it may give hope to those who have also "suffered from feelings."

Many of us have suffered from feelings. We must remember that we can each turn to our creativity - at any age - as a source for our well-being. All we need to do is have faith in the potential goodness within ourselves and those we love.

What creative activity can I look to for comfort today?

The Bible says a child will lead them. I know that a newcomer teaches me that it is not any better out there and I have no desire to go and do research for myself.

The fact that I am older than dirt and 23 years is a long time ago, it is good to listen to see if I forgot anything. I use to say that I have for gotten more than you will ever know. That was and is major ego. Needed an attitude adjustment on that one. I have met people with 3-5 years clean and sober who work a better program than many who have over 20 years of recovery. So many forget where they come from and they sit in the same place and do not grow. They have a closed mind and not open to new awareness and experiences.

This is difficult for me, always had a problem with authority. I want to say, `Who died and made you God!` I can understand group and company rules, but that isn`t about imposing your will on another. We are all individuals and are given freedom of choice. The best is to agree to disagree.

One by talking to them and sharing your own experience, strength, and hope. Two, pray with them. We are powerless over people, places, and things. Three, tell them to listen to their body. Suggest healthy choices that will make them whole, instead of fragmented and frustrated, help them to find emotional sobriety (soundness of mind).

Have hope for myself, what I keep losing hope that my son will choose to live. When he has a health issue, he refuses to go and see about it and says, I don't care. So I am an addict and an alcoholic, who cares, big deal!

My hope is in prayer. I have to remember to put it before my negative thoughts.