May 16

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 82-
Ch- Into Action:
If we have no such complication, there is plenty we should do at home. Sometimes we hear an alcoholic say that the only thing he needs to do is to keep sober. Certainly he must keep sober, for there will be no home if he doesn’t. But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has so shockingly treated. Passing all understanding is the patience mothers and wives have had with alcoholics. Had this not been so, many of us would have no homes today, would perhaps be dead.
The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin?”

-Tom- my sponsor set me straight from the beginning “Tom, we don’t get any pats on the back for being Grateful, doing our step work, taking direction from our sponsor, going to meetings or working with other alcoholics.
All of that just puts us in a position to live in a manner in which we should have been doing all along. We have a lot of work to do to make things right in our lives and there are many who need the opportunity we were Given”
I can ask myself “ do the people in my life hold me accountable and inspire me to be and do better?
Or do they buy into my bull**** and let me get away with not being accountable and feel sorry for me?”
There is a saying, not in the BB, that says:
Show me who you spend your time with, and that will show me your future.
Today I pray that I have the Courage to choose wisely, the company that I keep.

May 17

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 50-
Ch 4- We Agnostics:
In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself. Wether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. Experience has taught us that these are matters about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried.
On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. Everyone of them has gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater than himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. As a celebrated American statesman put it “let’s look at the record.”

-Tom- it was relieving to know that I did not have to solve my alcoholism. I just had to find My own Higher Power, and He solved the problem. All I had to do was the Step work and follow the directions of my Sponsor.
The Process of doing and practicing all 12 Steps, removes the parts of my self concept that no longer serve me or support the Life I am attempting to live today.
I pray that today I have the Willingness to do the work that is necessary to acquire a conscious contact with my Higher Power, and allow Him to solve my problem.

May 18

Practice of the day-
BB pg 58
Ch- How It Works:
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened and what we are like now.
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

-Tom- I wanted John H to be my sponsor, so I asked him to be. In turn, he asked me “are you willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcoholism” and “are you willing to do whatever I ask you to do?” He asked me that one evening and of course I immediately said yes because I was really whipped this time. He said, “no, I want you to think about this tonight and give me your answer in the morning, it’s a big decision.”
The 12 steps are a
“all in” deal. It’s the Only way it works, if you desire to stay sober in AA.
It’s just like the card game Texas hold’em: you can ante up, place a few bets, play a bit, but at some point you will have to go “all in”. If you don’t go “all in” you are out of the game.
Sobriety is the same way.
I can ask myself “am I trying to hold on to any of my old ideas?”
If the answer is yes, then work with your sponsor and follow the process of the steps, wherever you are in them. Letting go absolutely is a gift we get by living the steps 1-12.
If your answer is no, then Continue to Live Free from the bondage of self.
I pray that today I live a life of rigorous honesty and live in the present.

May 19

Practice of the day- BB pg 14-15-
Ch-1- Bills Story
“While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.
My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then Faith would be dead indeed.
With us it is just like that.”

-Tom- The first 100 constantly bring up the Truth that sobriety is not free. “Through work and self-sacrifice for others” that’s not just work, that is hard work, difficult and takes up my time.
And that is the Deal, I can take it or leave it, but I cannot change it.
I can ask myself “ am I working to enlarge my Spiritual Life in the way the Steps say to?”
If the answer is yes, then I continue.
If the answer is no, then I need to call my sponsor and get to work.
I pray that for today I am given the Desire to enlarge my Spiritual Life and sacrifice my time for others, to the best of my ability.

May 20

Practice of the Day BB pg XVii
Foreword to the Second edition:
Hence the two men set to work almost frantically upon alcoholics arriving in the ward of the Akron City Hospital. Their very first case, a desperate one. recovered immediately and became A.A. number three. He never had another drink. This work at Akron continued through the summer of 1935. There were many failures, but there was an occasional heartening success. When the broker returned to New York in the fall of 1935, the first A.A. group had actually been formed, though no one realized it at the time.
A second small group promptly took shape at New York, to be followed in 1937 with the start of a third at Cleveland. Besides these, there were scattered alcoholics who had picked up the basic ideas in Akron or New York who were trying to form groups in other cities. By late 1937, the number of members having substantial sobriety time behind them was sufficient to convince the membership that a new light had entered the dark world of the alcoholic.
It was now time, the struggling groups thought, to place their message and unique experience before the world. This determination bore fruit in the spring of 1939 by the publication of this volume. The membership had then reached about 100 men and women. The fledgling society, which had been nameless, now began to be called Alcoholics Anonymous, from the title of its own book. The flying-blind period ended and A.A. entered a new phase of its pioneering time.

-Tom- before there was any AA, there was only jails, institutions and death for alcoholics and addicts.
Recovery didn’t exist in large numbers.
The First 100 recovered alcoholics brought Light into this dark world.
Today I pray that I remember all the hard work that others have done to provide me an opportunity to be sober.

May 21

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 153-
Ch- A Vision For You:
It may seem incredible that these men are to become happy, respected, and useful once more. How can they rise out of such misery, bad repute and hopelessness? The practical answer is that since these things have happened among us, they can happen with you. Should you wish them above all else, and be willing to make use of our experience, we are sure they will come. The age of miracles is still with us. Our own recovery proves that!
Our hope is that when this chip of a book is launched on the world tide of alcoholism, defeated drinkers will seize upon it, to follow its suggestions. Many, we are sure, will rise to their feet and march on. They will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must find a way out.

-Tom- As my sponsor and I read through these important paragraphs, a few items stood out:
1- Should you wish them above ALL else, and be Willing to make use of our Experience, we are Sure they will come.
2. Defeated drinkers will seize upon it, to follow its suggestions.
So I have to be defeated by Alcoholism and then put my sobriety above everything else in my Life, if I want to obtain and maintain my sobriety.
That’s The Deal.
Anything short of that will not work for me and I suspect it will not work for you either.
I pray that today I have the Courage to put my sobriety first, above everything else in my Life.

May 22

Practice of the day- BB pg 14-15-
Ch-1- Bills Story
“While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had been so freely given me. Perhaps I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.
My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me. Faith without works was dead, he said. And how appallingly true for the alcoholic! For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then Faith would be dead indeed.
With us it is just like that.”

-Tom- The first 100 constantly bring up the Truth that sobriety is not free. “Through work and self-sacrifice for others” that’s not just work, that is hard work, difficult and takes up my time.
And that is the Deal, I can take it or leave it, but I cannot change it.
I can ask myself “ am I working to enlarge my Spiritual Life in the way the Steps say to?”
If the answer is yes, then I continue.
If the answer is no, then I need to call my sponsor and get to work.
I pray that for today I am given the Desire to enlarge my Spiritual Life and sacrifice my time for others, to the best of my ability.

May 23

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 66-67-
Ch 5- How It Works:
We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.
Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

-Tom- I remember the first time I practiced the 4th Step prayer for when I was offended.
I was in the 82nd’s static line Jumpmaster course in the early 90s. One of the instructors was a complete ass and had a “protector of the tab” approach, put me in his sights and offended me, on purpose, unwarranted.
My normal response (before sobriety) would be to smile at him, then find him off post on the weekend and beat his a$$.
However, the thought of this paragraph jumped in my mind. So begrudgingly, halfheartedly, with attitude, I said the prayer, and it worked. I was still mad but did not feel the need or desire to retaliate. That was huge progress for a guy like me.
I pray that today I remember that I always have the Power of Choice to pray, remain quite, or leave quickly in order to not react to someone that is sick .

May 24

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 151-152-
Ch 11- A Vision For You:
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.

-Tom- My sponsor explained to me that Sobriety, AA and the 12 Steps were serious business. If I was not serious about getting sober, don’t waist my time or his with some half ass effort. He asked me if I could relate to that paragraph? I said yes.
At 62 days without drinking, only going to meetings and reading the BB by myself, I made it to my jumping-off place.
I truly did not want to drink anymore and I wanted a drink so bad I couldn’t stand it, so I jumped. I jumped 100% and then some, into The Program and Fellowship of AA.
That is the Only reason why, I am Sober today.
I can ask myself “am I happy about my sobriety?”
If your answer is yes, then Continue and help another Alcoholic to achieve sobriety.
If your answer is no, then realize you are in a dangerous spot. Write a Gratitude list, pray to your Higher Power, meet with your sponsor, do some Steps, go to a meeting and help another alcoholic to achieve sobriety. At the end of that, I guarantee you will be happy about your sobriety.
Today I pray for the Strength to practice these Principles in all of my affairs.

May 25

Practice of the Day
BB pg 133-
Ch-9- The Family Afterwards:
Now about health: A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. But we have seen remarkable transformations in our bodies. Hardly one of our crowd now shows any mark of dissipation.
But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.

-Tom- if I spent 10 years wandering deeper and deeper into a swamp by myself then it will take me 10 years to walk out of the swamp once I decide to turn around.
That’s just plain logic.
So what would assist me in getting out of the swamp faster?
Wishing to be out, no, really really wanting to be out, no.
Meeting someone that can take some of the items in my pack to lighten my load so I can move faster, yes.
Finding a guide that knows a faster and direct route, yes.
Acquiring tools like a compass, map or gps that will keep me on course and not waste time wandering, yes. Having a helicopter come pick me up that was searching for me, yes.
That is what a Sponsor, Steps, Higher Power, Fellowship, clinical and medical professionals do for me, if I choose to use them.
I can get well as fast as I want to, as long as I am using the tools, doing the Work and using assistance that is available to me.
Or I can choose to wander, alone, in the swamp.
I pray that today I stay close to my Higher Power so that I choose wisely.

May 26

Practice of the Day-
BB pg-30-
Ch-3- More About Alcoholism:
MOST OF us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.

-Tom- There were a couple of words that I needed to look up the actual definition for;
Delusion- psychotic and unshakable belief in something that is not true.
Concede- admit something is valid or true after first denying or resisting it.
I had the delusion that I could control and enjoy my drinking like non alcoholic people do. My life experiences proved that wasn’t true, for me, where it pertains to drinking.
Not every time I drank did I do terrible things, but every time I did terrible things I was had been drinking.
I had to concede to myself that I was an alcoholic which meant that I had a mental obsession, a physical allergy and I was capable of doing anything once alcohol was in my body.
My life experiences proved those facts were true for me.
I pray that today I have the Courage to embrace the Facts about my Life. What is working and what is not.

May 27

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 50-
Ch 4- We Agnostics:
In our personal stories you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself. Wether we agree with a particular approach or conception seems to make little difference. Experience has taught us that these are matters about which, for our purpose, we need not be worried.
On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. Everyone of them has gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater than himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. As a celebrated American statesman put it “let’s look at the record.”

-Tom- it was relieving to know that I did not have to solve my alcoholism. I just had to find My own Higher Power, and He solved the problem. All I had to do was the Step work and follow the directions of my Sponsor.
The Process of doing and practicing all 12 Steps, removes the parts of my self concept that no longer serve me or support the Life I am attempting to live today.
I pray that today I have the Willingness to do the work that is necessary to acquire a conscious contact with my Higher Power, and allow Him to solve my problem.

May 28

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 60-61-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do?
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If
his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.

-Tom- my sponsor and I talked a lot about this example given here.
He said, “here is the funny thing, imagine this, this actor was hired to play a part, a role in the production. He is probably pretty good at what he does because he got hired to do it. Which is great, but then he walks over to the camera guy and starts telling him how to improve his shots. Then he goes to the writer and starts giving him ideas on how to make the story better. Then he strong arms some of the lesser actors to say their part a little different. Then he sweet talks the director into changing a few scenes, because they also play golf together. Etc, etc
Eventually everything goes sideways, people get pissed and a lot of confusion ensues. Then the producer finds out who has disrupted his flow, then fires the actor.
The actor gets hurt and angry, then asks the Producer “why did you fire me? I was only trying to make the show better!”
Then the Producer says “ that’s my job, you were hired to play a part, not run the show.”
It’s important for me to remember

May 29

BB pg 66-67-
Ch 5- How It Works:
We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.
Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

-Tom- I remember the first time I practiced the 4th Step prayer for when I was offended.
I was in the 82nd’s static line Jumpmaster course in the early 90s. One of the instructors was a complete ass and had a “protector of the tab” approach, put me in his sights and offended me, on purpose, unwarranted.
My normal response (before sobriety) would be to smile at him, then find him off post on the weekend and beat his ass.
However, the thought of this paragraph jumped in my mind. So begrudgingly, halfheartedly, with attitude, I said the prayer, and it worked. I was still mad but did not feel the need or desire to retaliate. That was huge progress for a guy like me.
I pray that today I remember that I always have the Power of Choice to pray, remain quite, or leave quickly in order to not react to someone that is sick .

May 30

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 97-
Ch 7-Working With Others:
(More 12th Step Promises)
Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions.

-Tom-When my sponsor and I read this he said that if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing in AA, these Promises will come true like all the others. It’s a package Deal.
We talked a lot about one sentence “Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.”
He said “do you understand what that means, it means that if you are not helping others you do not have a Foundation in Recovery. If you want a solid Foundation in recovery, then you will help others. It’s your choice and both results are Guaranteed.
Today I pray that I remember that helping others is the Foundation of my recovery and I am Given the Strength to be helpful.