Daily Practice - October
 

October 1

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 154-155-
Ch 11-A Vision For You
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a side table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober for six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was that old, insidious, insanity—that first drink. With a shiver he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.
But what about his responsibilities—his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.

-Tom- Remember there was no AA in this part of the story. Bill searched the churches for drunks, then helped them. The one he found ended up being Dr Bob.
I remember wanting to stay sober so so bad, and then got drunk. So wanting to didn’t work.
I remember Needing to stay sober for an event, deadline, job or special family occasion, but got drunk. So Needing to stay sober didn’t work.
So wanting and needing to stay sober didn’t keep me sober.
What keeps me sober is DOING the things that sober alcoholics in AA do, no matter how I feel. It was a relief to me to know I didn’t have to feel like doing it or wanting to do it, I just had to do it and as a byproduct, I would stay sober.
Today I pray that I have the Courage to Trust in my God, clean my house and help others.

October 2

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 154-155-
Ch 11-A Vision For You
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a side table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober for six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was that old, insidious, insanity—that first drink. With a shiver he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.
But what about his responsibilities—his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.

-Tom- Remember there was no AA in this part of the story. Bill searched the churches for drunks, then helped them. The one he found ended up being Dr Bob.
I remember wanting to stay sober so so bad, and then got drunk. So wanting to didn’t work.
I remember Needing to stay sober for an event, deadline, job or special family occasion, but got drunk. So Needing to stay sober didn’t work.
So wanting and needing to stay sober didn’t keep me sober.
What keeps me sober is DOING the things that sober alcoholics in AA do, no matter how I feel. It was a relief to me to know I didn’t have to feel like doing it or wanting to do it, I just had to do it and as a byproduct, I would stay sober.
Today I pray that I have the Courage to Trust in my God, clean my house and help others.

October 3

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 16-
Ch 1, Bills Story:
An alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature. Our struggles with them are variously strenuous, comic, and tragic. One poor chap committed suicide in my home. He could not or would not see our way of life.
There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish.
Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. Each day my friend’s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men.

-Tom- “an alcoholic in his cups is an unlovely creature”. For me, that is really churching it up. I was an absolute Monster. I brought to AA nothing but hate, anger, violence, aggressive attitude, rebellion and a bunch more not good stuff.
Y’all took me in and showed me the only thing could penetrate all those walls; human kindness and genuine unconditional Love.
Also, y’all did not accept unacceptable behavior. You didn’t kick me out or abandon me. You said,
”keep coming back” it was constant and baffling to me, and the only thing I did not have a defense against.
It broke me.
You see all the acts we do in AA; sweeping floors, making coffee, giving people rides, listening to someone share, greeting people at the door, cleaning the bathroom at the meeting hall, sponsorship, helping people move, cutting people’s grass, late night talks, etc
All of these and much more, are,
Acts of Love.
In AA, we do Love. We don’t talk about it, think about it or preach about it,
We Do it.
I can ask myself “am I doing acts of Love with those who’s space I occupy?”
If your answer is yes, then Continue to do your acts of Love and enjoy the Happiness and contentment those acts bring.
If your answer is no, then write a Gratitude list and do something for someone without them knowing who did it, and see what that experience feels like.
Today I pray that I remember how hard it was for me to get sober, and give others the same compassion and kindness.

October 4

Practice of the Day-
-AA Responsibility Statement:
I am responsible...When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that:
I am Responsible.

-Tom- After I had been working with my sponsor for a week or so, one day he said “tell me what you are Grateful for” I said I had nothing to be grateful for, all I ever cared about in my life is gone. He said, well that’s a problem. I said, I agree. He said well there is always one thing you can be grateful for Tom. I said, oh really, so what is that?
He said “ you can always be forever Grateful for Alcoholics Anonymous, because no one else would have your sorry ass”
I wanted to punch him in the face, but I didn’t because it was True.
Before AA, there was only a Living Hell, jails, Institutions and Death if you were an alcoholic/addict. That was it. There was no recovery option.
I often think about, what if there was no one ready and willing to grab my hand when I finally reached out for help?
My Higher Power and my Willingness to Do AA saved my Life, but I couldn’t have done it without my sponsor, I know that.
I asked him one day, “how can I ever repay you for all you have taught me and all you have done for me?” He smiled and said “give to the next man, what I gave to you. That is the only way you can repay me”
If you are attempting to grab the hands that are reaching for help in AA, then you are on track for what was done for you. Continue.
If you are not, I suggest you re read the section above.
Today I pray that I Remember what was Freely Given to me, so that I will do same for another

October 5

Practice of the day-
BB pg 46-
Ch- We Agnostics:
Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another’s conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those that seek Him. To us, the Realm of the Spirit is Broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men.

-Tom- when I first read that paragraph, it blew my mind. I had never heard anything like that before. Broad roomy, all inclusive, not hard terms, open to all. Never had I heard or thought that. I only heard/thought the opposite: narrow is the gate, if you think about it you may have well as done it, etc.
My sponsor told me to make contact with my Higher power, this is what my first approach sounded like: “ God, I ****ing hate you and you know it. I know you don’t think much of me either, with all I have done and your people I have hurt, but I’m needing to stay sober for sure, can’t do it on my own. Don’t know how we are going to work this out, pretty sure you don’t want to help me and if you don’t , well **** you too. Amen.”
As you can see with my Experience “God does not make to hard terms with those that seek Him”
I can ask myself “does my conception of my Higher Power fit with what I need to be Sober, Happy, Joyous and Free?” If the answer is yes, then Continue onto the 3rd step prayer.
If the answer is no, then stop and write down your own conception of your Higher Power.
AA is a place where a plumber can teach a priest, how to live.
I pray that today I remember how far I have come in my understanding and in conscious contact with My Higher Power.

October 6

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 75,76
Ch- Into Action
Step 6-
Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from the shelf we turn to the page which contains the 12 steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we will walk a free man at last. Is our work solid so far? Are the stones properly in place? Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand?
If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. We have emphasized willingness as being indispensable. Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can He now take them all—every one? If we still cling to something we will not let go, we ask God to help us be willing.

-Tom- some steps take a lot of time to do, like 4,9,12. Steps 6 and 7 take one hour and a prayer.
One day in early sobriety (I had been through all the steps and was practicing 10,11,12 about 6 months sober)I sat in an A.A. meeting house writing; identifying and coming up with ways i was going to work on my character defects. For about 2 hours. An old
timer/friend, Pete N, came up and asked me what I was working on. I proudly showed him all my work and my plans. He said wow that’s a lot of work, I smiled and said thank you.
Then he said, “now Tom what I want you to do is throw all that waist of time in the garbage on your way to your truck.
Miss Mary still needs her grass cut, 5th steps need to be received out at the Colony and you need to speak at the prison tonight. Why don’t you try trusting in God, cleaning house and helping others first. Now get out of there and Live sober instead of pretending to be.”
I told him he was such an a$$hole, slammed the door on my way out, did what he said to do, and learned a lesson of a Lifetime, doing sober actions is what makes me sober.
I pray that today I have the Willingness to do sober actions.

October 7

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 151-152-
Ch 11- A Vision For You:
Now and then a serious drinker, being dry at the moment says, "I don't miss it at all. Feel better. Work better. Having a better time." As ex-problem drinkers, we smile at such a sally. We know our friend is like a boy whistling in the dark to keep up his spirits. He fools himself. Inwardly he would give anything to take half a dozen drinks and get away with them. He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.

-Tom- My sponsor explained to me that Sobriety, AA and the 12 Steps were serious business. If I was not serious about getting sober, don’t waist my time or his with some half ass effort. He asked me if I could relate to that paragraph? I said yes.
At 62 days without drinking, only going to meetings and reading the BB by myself, I made it to my jumping-off place.
I truly did not want to drink anymore and I wanted a drink so bad I couldn’t stand it, so I jumped. I jumped 100% and then some, into The Program and Fellowship of AA.
That is the Only reason why, I am Sober today.
I can ask myself “am I happy about my sobriety?”
If your answer is yes, then Continue and help another Alcoholic to achieve sobriety.
If your answer is no, then realize you are in a dangerous spot. Write a Gratitude list, pray to your Higher Power, meet with your sponsor, do some Steps, go to a meeting and help another alcoholic to achieve sobriety. At the end of that, I guarantee you will be happy about your sobriety.
Today I pray for the Strength to practice these Principles in all of my affairs.

October 8

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 60-61-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and just what do we do?
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If
his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.

-Tom- my sponsor and I talked a lot about this example given here.
He said, “here is the funny thing, imagine this, this actor was hired to play a part, a role in the production. He is probably pretty good at what he does because he got hired to do it. Which is great, but then he walks over to the camera guy and starts telling him how to improve his shots. Then he goes to the writer and starts giving him ideas on how to make the story better. Then he strong arms some of the lesser actors to say their part a little different. Then he sweet talks the director into changing a few scenes, because they also play golf together. Etc, etc
Eventually everything goes sideways, people get pissed and a lot of confusion ensues. Then the producer finds out who has disrupted his flow, then fires the actor.
The actor gets hurt and angry, then asks the Producer “why did you fire me? I was only trying to make the show better!”
Then the Producer says “ that’s my job, you were hired to play a part, not run the show.”
It’s important for me to remember.

October 9

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 97-
Ch 7-Working With Others:
(More 12th Step Promises)
Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions.

-Tom-When my sponsor and I read this he said that if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing in AA, these Promises will come true like all the others. It’s a package Deal.
We talked a lot about one sentence “Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.”
He said “do you understand what that means, it means that if you are not helping others you do not have a Foundation in Recovery. If you want a solid Foundation in recovery, then you will help others. It’s your choice and both results are Guaranteed.
Today I pray that I remember that helping others is the Foundation of my recovery and I am Given the Strength to be helpful.

October 10

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 66-67-
Ch 5- How It Works:
We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look at it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol.
This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick.
Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."
We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

-Tom- I remember the first time I practiced the 4th Step prayer for when I was offended.
I was in the 82nd’s static line Jumpmaster course in the early 90s. One of the instructors was a complete ass and had a “protector of the tab” approach, put me in his sights and offended me, on purpose, unwarranted.
My normal response (before sobriety) would be to smile at him, then find him off post on the weekend and beat his ass.
However, the thought of this paragraph jumped in my mind. So begrudgingly, halfheartedly, with attitude, I said the prayer, and it worked. I was still mad but did not feel the need or desire to retaliate. That was huge progress for a guy like me.
I pray that today I remember that I always have the Power of Choice to pray, remain quite, or leave quickly in order to not react to someone that is sick

October 11

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 43-
Ch-3- more About Alcoholism:

Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a world-renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: "What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic's plight is, in my opinion, correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution."

Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power.

-Tom- My body cannot stop bullets. There is nothing in my power that will ever give me the ability for my body to stop bullets.

No matter how much I want my body to stop bullets, no matter how much I need my body to stop bullets, my body does not have the ability to stop bullets.

Body armor stops bullets.

If I choose to put body armor on my body, the body armor stops bullets.

The exact same principle applies to my alcoholism/addiction.

My Higher Power stops my drinking and drugging, not me.

I pray today that I remember where my protection comes from, My Higher Power. See less

October 12

Practice of the day-
BB pg 58
Ch- How It Works:

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened and what we are like now.
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

-Tom- I wanted John H to be my sponsor, so I asked him to be. In turn, he asked me “are you willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcoholism” and “are you willing to do whatever I ask you to do?” He asked me that one evening and of course I immediately said yes because I was really whipped this time. He said, “no, I want you to think about this tonight and give me your answer in the morning, it’s a big decision.”

The 12 steps are a
“all in” deal. It’s the Only way it works, if you desire to stay sober in AA.

It’s just like the card game Texas hold’em: you can ante up, place a few bets, play a bit, but at some point you will have to go “all in”. If you don’t go “all in” you are out of the game.

Sobriety is the same way.

I can ask myself “am I trying to hold on to any of my old ideas?”

If the answer is yes, then work with your sponsor and follow the process of the steps, wherever you are in them. Letting go absolutely is a gift we get by living the steps 1-12.

If your answer is no, then Continue to Live Free from the bondage of self.

I pray that today I live a life of rigorous honesty and live in the present.

October 13

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 55-
Ch 4- We Agnostics
We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us.
We can only clear the ground a bit. If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.

-Tom- for me, these are 2 of the most Powerful paragraphs in the BB.
They talk about the one place, I had never looked, to find My Higher Power:
Within myself.
My motivation was that I wanted to join them “on the Broad Highway “ stay sober and live differently.
However there are listed requirements I had to commit to:
-sweep away prejudice
-think honestly
-search diligently within myself
But they promised:
With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.
So I gave it a whole Hearted shot, and it worked. The consciousness of My Belief came to me for the first time in my Life.
Today I pray that I am given the Willingness to put in the Work, my sobriety requires.

October 14

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 21
Ch 2-There is a Solution:
Here is the fellow that has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr Jekyll and Mr Hide. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously
anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees........

-Tom- my sponsor would often stop and ask me if I could relate to the what we read. He said it was very important because if I could not relate to what we were reading and talking about, why would I continue?
Another reason why it is important for me to relate is because I suffer from
Terminal Uniqueness.
Terminal Uniqueness requires that I cannot relate to anyone and no one or nothing can relate to me. It sounds like this “you don’t know me, you don’t understand what I’ve been through, this will never work, you just don’t get it, I am different, my issues are different than yours, I’m just too damaged.......etc”
All my life, I had looked for the “differences”, and I found them.
Sobriety taught me to discard the differences and look for the “similarities”, and I found them.
Whatever I am “looking for”, I will find.
I pray that today I look for similarities and not just pick out the differences.

October 15

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 154-155-
Ch 11-A Vision For You
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a side table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober for six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was that old, insidious, insanity—that first drink. With a shiver he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.
But what about his responsibilities—his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.

-Tom- Remember there was no AA in this part of the story. Bill searched the churches for drunks, then helped them. The one he found ended up being Dr Bob.
I remember wanting to stay sober so so bad, and then got drunk. So wanting to didn’t work.
I remember Needing to stay sober for an event, deadline, job or special family occasion, but got drunk. So Needing to stay sober didn’t work.
So wanting and needing to stay sober didn’t keep me sober.
What keeps me sober is DOING the things that sober alcoholics in AA do, no matter how I feel. It was a relief to me to know I didn’t have to feel like doing it or wanting to do it, I just had to do it and as a byproduct, I would stay sober.
Today I pray that I have the Courage to Trust in my God, clean my house and help others.

October 16

Practice for the day-
BB pg 62-63,
Ch 5- How it Works:
(some of the 3rd step promises)
“This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.
We were reborn.”

Tom- I can look at these promises and ask myself “are these occurring in my Life, right now?” If the answer is yes, then I Continue. If the answer is no, then I must stop and
re-position myself, do some work on me and my attitude, then Continue.
Salvation is Free, Sobriety is not- it must be worked for on a daily basis.
Today I pray for the Strength to Do my work in AA

October 17

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 21
Ch 2-There is a Solution:
Here is the fellow that has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr Jekyll and Mr Hide. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously
anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees........

-Tom- my sponsor would often stop and ask me if I could relate to the what we read. He said it was very important because if I could not relate to what we were reading and talking about, why would I continue?
Another reason why it is important for me to relate is because I suffer from
Terminal Uniqueness.
Terminal Uniqueness requires that I cannot relate to anyone and no one or nothing can relate to me. It sounds like this “you don’t know me, you don’t understand what I’ve been through, this will never work, you just don’t get it, I am different, my issues are different than yours, I’m just too damaged.......etc”
All my life, I had looked for the “differences”, and I found them.
Sobriety taught me to discard the differences and look for the “similarities”, and I found them.
Whatever I am “looking for”, I will find.
I pray that today I look for similarities and not just pick out the differences

October 18

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 60-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.
Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him. Just what do we mean by that, and what do we do?

-Tom- at this point, my sponsor asked me if I was convinced that a,b and c were true in my life. He then turned them into direct questions -example- “are you convinced that you are an alcoholic and could not manage your own life?” same for b and c. I was convinced and said yes to all three. He said because you are convinced, we can Continue.
This is also where the rubber meets the road on how much time and effort I have put into developing my “own conception of God”. If I have not put the work into constructing my own understanding of God, why would I turn my thinking and my actions over to something I don’t know or trust?
The answer is simple,
I won’t and will continue to half ass the program and wonder why it didn’t work.
My sponsor was key in slowing me down, making me think about what I was doing and why I was doing it. On my own I would have just tried to go as fast as I could and make mistakes without knowing it.
My sponsor knew better.
Today I pray that I remember learning to live without drinking is a one day at a time Adventure and I cannot do it on my own.

October 19

Practice of the day-
BB pg 58
Ch- How It Works:

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened and what we are like now.
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

-Tom- I wanted John H to be my sponsor, so I asked him to be. In turn, he asked me “are you willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcoholism” and “are you willing to do whatever I ask you to do?” He asked me that one evening and of course I immediately said yes because I was really whipped this time. He said, “no, I want you to think about this tonight and give me your answer in the morning, it’s a big decision.”

The 12 steps are a
“all in” deal. It’s the Only way it works, if you desire to stay sober in AA.

It’s just like the card game Texas hold’em: you can ante up, place a few bets, play a bit, but at some point you will have to go “all in”. If you don’t go “all in” you are out of the game.

Sobriety is the same way.

I can ask myself “am I trying to hold on to any of my old ideas?”

If the answer is yes, then work with your sponsor and follow the process of the steps, wherever you are in them. Letting go absolutely is a gift we get by living the steps 1-12.

If your answer is no, then Continue to Live Free from the bondage of self.

I pray that today I live a life of rigorous honesty and live in the present.



October 20

Practice of the day-
BB pg 6-
Ch 1- Bill’s Story:
The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. My brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. I hardly dared cross the street, lest I collapse and be run down by a early morning truck, for it was scarcely daylight. An all night place supplied me with a dozen glasses of ale. My writhing nerves were stilled at last. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. Well, so had I. The market would recover, but I wouldn’t. That was a hard thought. Should I kill myself? No—not now. Then a mental fog settled down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and—oblivion.

-Tom- That is very similar to my story of my last few months of drinking to live and living to drink. Getting to oblivion was the goal, and I did, only problem is I couldn’t stay there and had to start the living Hell all over again, and again, and again, and again.
Early sobriety was the hardest thing I’ve ever done my entire life. They told me it was supposed to be hard, that was normal.
But my sponsor said He guaranteed I could do it if I just kept doing the basics everyday:
-Gratitude list
-Communication with my Higher Power
-Do my Step Work
-Go to a Meeting
-Talk with my Sponsor
My sobriety requires a daily commitment, and, if you are like me, I suspect yours does too. I am responsible for my own sobriety. Not my sponsor, family, friends, I am responsible to do the Work.
I pray that today I remember where I come from, so I don’t have to go back.

October 21

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 42-
Ch 3, More About Alcoholism:
“Then they outlined the spiritual answer and program of action which a hundred of them had followed successfully. Though I had been only a nominal churchman, their proposals were not, intellectually, hard to swallow. But the program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic. It meant I would have to throw several lifelong conceptions out of the window. That was not easy. But the moment I made up my mind to go through with the process, I had the curious feeling that my alcoholic condition was relieved, as in fact it proved to be.

-Tom- Early Sobriety, was the hardest thing I have ever done my entire life. Fortunately for me, I had sober men in my life that told me it would be extremely hard, but completely worth it
Many people are under the misconception that getting sober and staying sober will be a bit difficult but not too hard. Soon, they find, that is not the case.
I have never really done anything half ass in my life, for long. Sobriety would be no different. I would choose to either be “in” or “out”, commit fully or continue down the path that got me to my bottom.
I committed myself to doing what my sponsor said and all 12 steps of AA, with the intent of proving to y’all that this program would not work for a person as damaged and broken as me.
With that intent, I got sober.
I pray that today I have the Strength to Commit to the Process of sobriety, fully.
With My Last Breath.

October 22

Practice of the Day-
BB pg- 567-568-
Ch- Appendice II, Spiritual Experience:
Among our rapidly growing membership of thousands of alcoholics such transformations, though frequent, are by no means the rule. Most of our experiences are what the psychologist William James calls the “educational variety” because they develop slowly over a period of time. Quite often friends of the newcomer are aware of the difference long before he is himself. He finally realizes he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone. What often takes place in a few months could seldom have been accomplished by years of self-discipline. With few exceptions our members find that they have tapped an unsuspected inner resource which they presently identify with their own conception of a Power greater than themselves.

-Tom-My sponsor said, when we just stop drinking and come into AA, many amazing things begin to happen: we get straight with the law, start taking care of ourselves, get a vehicle, maybe a license, clean clothes and maybe some money in our pocket.
All of that, is like putting a suit on a pig, because nothing has changed on the inside.
Sobriety is an inside job and we work on our insides by following the directions of the Steps , out of the BB with our sponsors. For Alcoholics and addicts of the Hopeless Variety, it is the only way.
Today I pray that I Remember that I am sober today only by the Grace of my God, which I found through the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

October 23

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 67-68-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Notice the word “fear” is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife. This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble.
We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn’t go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn’t fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.

-Tom- When I reviewed my fears in my 4th step inventory, I saw that I had been afraid my entire life. Some of my fears were legitimate, some were self created circumstances, some just in my head.
I didn’t like feeling afraid, so I turned it into anger and then into violence and then you would be afraid of me. So that was how I addressed fear prior to AA.
I can ask myself “what is my life and decisions driven by today, fear or love?”
If your answer is fear, then put them on paper and review them, through the process of the 4th Step, then Continue all the way to 12.
If your answer is Love, then Continue doing 10,11,12, living in the Solution, and giving freely of what you find.
I pray that today I remember, I may not know what the future holds, but I know Who holds it.

October 24

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 154-155-
Ch 11-A Vision For You

Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a side table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober for six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was that old, insidious, insanity—that first drink. With a shiver he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.

But what about his responsibilities—his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.

-Tom- Remember there was no AA in this part of the story. Bill searched the churches for drunks, then helped them. The one he found ended up being Dr Bob.

I remember wanting to stay sober so so bad, and then got drunk. So wanting to didn’t work.
I remember Needing to stay sober for an event, deadline, job or special family occasion, but got drunk. So Needing to stay sober didn’t work.
So wanting and needing to stay sober didn’t keep me sober.

What keeps me sober is DOING the things that sober alcoholics in AA do, no matter how I feel. It was a relief to me to know I didn’t have to feel like doing it or wanting to do it, I just had to do it and as a byproduct, I would stay sober.

Today I pray that I have the Courage to Trust in my God, clean my house and help others.

October 25

Practice for the day-
BB pg 62-63,
Ch 5- How it Works:
(some of the 3rd step promises)

“This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.

When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.
We were reborn.”

Tom- I can look at these promises and ask myself “are these occurring in my Life, right now?” If the answer is yes, then I Continue. If the answer is no, then I must stop and
re-position myself, do some work on me and my attitude, then Continue.
Salvation is Free, Sobriety is not- it must be worked for on a daily basis.

Today I pray for the Strength to Do my work in AA

October 26

Practice of the day-
BB pg 164
Ch-A Vision For You:

Still you may say: “But I will not have the benefit of contact with you who write this book.” We cannot be sure. God will determine that, so you must remember that your real reliance is always upon Him. He will show you how to create the fellowship you crave.*

Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

-Tom- at certain times in my Path of Sobriety, they were very lonely and the fear of not being able to stay sober long term hovered in the corners of my mind. I held the words in these paragraphs close to my Heart and Continued to Trudge and chose blind faith that they were true. Through TIME ;
T- things
I- I
M- must
E- earn
I experienced that every word was true.

I have experienced great events for me and countless others, that brought me Joy. All I have to do is make sure my Relationship with My Higher Power is in order and follow Directions.

I can ask myself, “is my relationship Right between me and my Higher Power?”

If the answer is yes, then I Continue moving down my Path.

If the answer is no, or I don’t know, then I need to stop, write a Gratitude list, talk with my sponsor and get it right.

I pray that just for today, I keep it Simple and do The Deal.

October 27

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 44-45
Ch 4 We Agnostics:
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there. Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?
Well, that's exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem...........

-Tom- my sponsor asked me “do you completely understand and accept that the best you could do got you to your bottom? “
Begrudgingly, I said yes, it really made me angry but that didn’t take away from the fact that, on my own power, I failed.
He then said “ ok, since you don’t have the power to not drink and change your life, doesn’t it make logical sense that we will need to seek that Power, outside of yourself?”
I said yes.
We then Continued on with the reading.
I pray that today I remember that my only problem is staying close to my Higher Power. I stick with Him, do His Work and He solves my problem

October 28

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 40-41
Ch 3- More About Alcoholism:
Let him tell you about it: "I was much impressed with what you fellows said about alcoholism, and I frankly did not believe it would be possible for me to drink again. I rather appreciated your ideas about the subtle insanity which precedes the first drink, but I was confident it could not happen to me after what I had learned. I reasoned I was not so far advanced as most of you fellows, that I had been usually successful in licking my other personal problems, and that I would therefore be successful where you men failed. I felt I had every right to be self-confident, that it would be only a matter of exercising my will power and keeping on guard.
"In this frame of mind, I went about my business and for a time all was well. I had no trouble refusing drinks, and began to wonder if I had not been making too hard work of a simple matter. One day I went to Washington to present some accounting evidence to a government bureau. I had been out of town before during this particular dry spell, so there was nothing new about that. Physically, I felt fine. Neither did I have any pressing problems or worries. My business came off well, I was pleased and knew my partners would be too. It was the end of a perfect day, not a cloud on the horizon.
"I went to my hotel and leisurely dressed for dinner. As I crossed the threshold of the dining room, the thought came to mind that it would be nice to have a couple of cocktails with dinner. That was all. Nothing more.........

-Tom- Fishermen fish, carpenters build things, firefighters put out fires, alcoholics drink and drug addicts use drugs. No mystery in any of that and it’s pretty logical. Good times, bad times, failure, success, happy, mad, sad, glad, rain or shine, day or night. I drink because I am an alcoholic.
Or, I choose Sobriety.
I pray that today I remember that I am without defense against the first drink. My defense must come from my Higher Power.

October 29

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 31-
Ch 3- More About Alcoholism:

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase the list ad infinitum.

-Tom- My sponsor asked me if I had ever tried any of these methods? I said yes, most of them and some that were not on that particular list.
He asked me does your drinking cause problems for you in your life? I said yes, pretty much any major problems going on in my life are because of what happens when I drink?
He asked, then why don’t you just stop drinking?
I said at first I didn’t stop because I didn’t want to, now it’s because I can’t stop.
He said, that’s because alcohol is not your problem, it’s your only solution, so when you stop drinking you are stopping your solution and are only left with your problem.
Made logical sense to me.

Today I pray for the ability to seek the Solution for my problem, which is found in The Program and The Fellowship of A.A.

October 30

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 97-
Ch 7-Working With Others:
(More 12th Step Promises)
Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions.

-Tom-When my sponsor and I read this he said that if I am doing what I am supposed to be doing in AA, these Promises will come true like all the others. It’s a package Deal.
We talked a lot about one sentence “Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery.”
He said “do you understand what that means, it means that if you are not helping others you do not have a Foundation in Recovery. If you want a solid Foundation in recovery, then you will help others. It’s your choice and both results are Guaranteed.
Today I pray that I remember that helping others is the Foundation of my recovery and I am Given the Strength to be helpful.

October 31

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 31-
Ch 3- More About Alcoholism:
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums-we could increase the list ad infinitum.

-Tom- My sponsor asked me if I had ever tried any of these methods? I said yes, most of them and some that were not on that particular list.
He asked me does your drinking cause problems for you in your life? I said yes, pretty much any major problems going on in my life are because of what happens when I drink?
He asked, then why don’t you just stop drinking?
I said at first I didn’t stop because I didn’t want to, now it’s because I can’t stop.
He said, that’s because alcohol is not your problem, it’s your only solution, so when you stop drinking you are stopping your solution and are only left with your problem.
Made logical sense to me.
Today I pray for the ability to seek the Solution for my problem, which is found in The Program and The Fellowship of A.A.