compulsive overeating, bulimia, anorexia , any eating disorder or body distortion disorder are painful illnesses....eating is social, necessary, and highly driven in our society....however those with a disease of abuse of food are lonely, isolated, hurt people , with very low self esteem...I wanted to be fat to hide myself, then be thin because nobody liked me...in other words I didn't know who I was..since childhood I was afraid, I would maybe get close to one friend then ignore her...this was the pattern, eating compulsively is the most secretive, isolated, selfish thing....plus I am killing myself, spiritually and physically each time...to learn in the program how to eat again...using the steps and tools of recovery and good sponsorship, I am learning many of those things over the last 35 years or more that I ate over...I am powerless over food. Each day gets easier, but the footwork is so necessary....everyone is different in binge foods, actions around foods and such , but in the rooms I hear the similarities, more than the differences....to me it always goes back to the whole addictive thing...filling that HOLE in the SOUL....each day I am learning more about that hole and filling it with good memories of each God given day. Peace, Schell

September 14

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Emptiness

When we were overeating, we felt empty inside no matter how much we ate. Now that we are abstaining, we may still experience periods of feeling empty. This emptiness is especially likely to occur after an occasion to which we have looked forward with much anticipation.

Perhaps we expect too much from a person or an event and feel let down when reality falls short of our anticipation. Perhaps we find ourselves with a group of people whose conversation is superficial and relationships are phony. Putting on a mask and keeping it in place for any length of time leaves us feeling drained and empty.

Without honest, meaningful contact with other people, we are emotionally undernourished. In order to have the mutually nurturing relationships we need, our false fronts have to be abandoned. Through this program, we learn to seek out the kinds of people and activities that fill us and to avoid those that leave us empty

Fill my emptiness, Lord.

September 15

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Peace

Our mental obsession with food gave us little peace. The refined sugars and carbohydrates, which we craved, left us jangled and over stimulated. Our guilt and self-hate kept us in a state of fear and turmoil. We raced about frantically in our minds trying to think of a way out of our misery.

Abstaining from refined sugar and carbohydrates gives us physical peace. Our body is no longer in an uproar; it is functioning calmly and efficiently. The Twelve Steps of recovery free us from the mental obsession with food and bring about emotional and spiritual peace. The more control we relinquish to our Higher Power, the more peace He gives us.

The peace, which comes through working our program, is not stagnant - it is rich and creative. It is the peace, which results from an ordered life and confidence in God. Instead of going in circles, both physically and mentally, we move in measured progress along the path, which our Higher Power shows us step by step each day.

Thank You for peace.

September 16

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Understanding

The understanding, which we gain through the OA program, is a source of constant amazement and gratitude. First, we begin to understand our illness. Then, we grow in understanding of others and ourselves. Finally, our eyes are opened more and more to the spiritual aspects of our existence.

Hearing someone else's story gives us insight into our own behavior. We act as mirrors, reflecting each other's problems and solutions. As we act, we are given greater understanding of why we do what we do and how we may function better. In order to gain more understanding, we must first act on the knowledge we have. Intellectual awareness alone will not enable us to control our disease.

The empathy and understanding, which we receive from fellow OA members, give us the strength and hope to recover. We begin to see where our attitudes were wrong and how to go about correcting them. As we acknowledge the Power greater than ourselves and give our lives over to Him, we open a new channel of spiritual insight and understanding.

May I understand.

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