You know you're old. . .
 

You know you're old, when your mind and body aren't what they used to be.

Did the fine print shrink? (This is called bifocals denial.)

Do your knees buckle, but your belt won't?

Have your beauty marks sprouted hair?

Does the gleam in your eyes comes from the sun hitting your bifocals?

Do your joints sound like Rice Crispies ... snap, crackle, pop?

Does your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.?

Have you been driving along thinking about stuff, and suddenly realized that you don't remember the last 3 blocks?

Has a fortune-teller offered to read your face?

Does your pacemaker make the garage door go up when you watch a cute guy/gal go by?

Is the little gray haired person who helps you across the street, your spouse?

Do you have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet?