Love this, Steps 1, 2, and 3 Waltz. I came, I came to, and I came to believe.

As a dear friend reminded me, it says 'could' doesn't say 'would' restore me to sanity. i prayed for my sense of humour to be healed and he wanted his to remain the same.

I can't forget where I came from. My disease is just waiting for a week spot, an opening of any kind, be it mental, emotional, spiritual or physical to job in and catch us at a weak moment and we end up talking OURSELVES into a drink.

Sd need meeting to remind us. It is good when we get neawcomers to remind us, that could be me.

My drug of choice in the moment, be it people, places, or things, is but a symptom of my disease. The problem is me. I don't have a drinking problem, I have a thinking problem.

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"Disease and Choice"

We try never to lose sight of the unchangeable fact of our alcoholism, but we learn not to brood or feel sorry for ourselves or talk about it all the time. We accept it as a characteristic of our body---like our height or our need for glasses, or like any allergies we may have.

Then we can figure out how to live comfortably---not bitterly---with that knowledge as long as we start out by simply avoiding that first drink (remember?) just for today.

A blind member of A.A. said his alcoholism was quite similar to his blindness. "Once I accepted the loss of my sight," he explained, "and took the rehabilitation training available to me, I discovered I really can, with the aid of my cane or my dog, go anywhere I want to go quite safely, just as long as I don't forget or ignore the fact that I am blind. But when I do not act within the knowledge that I cannot see, it is then I get hurt, or in trouble."

"If you want to get well," one A.A. woman said, "you just take your treatment and follow directions and go on living. It's easy as long as you remember the new facts about your health. Who has time to feel 'deprived' or self-pitying when you find there are so many delights connected with living happily unafraid of your illness?"

To summarize: We remember we have an incurable, potentially fatal ailment called alcoholism. And instead of persisting in drinking, we prefer to figure out, and use, enjoyable ways of living without alcohol.

We need not be ashamed that we have a disease. It is no disgrace. No one knows exactly why some people become alcoholics while others don't. It is not our fault. We did not want to become alcoholics. We did not try to get this illness.

We did not suffer alcoholism just because we enjoyed it, after all. We did not deliberately, maliciously set out to do the things we were later ashamed of. We did them against our better judgment and instinct because we were really sick, and didn't even know it.

We learned that no good comes of useless regret and worry about how we got this way. The first step toward feeling better, and getting over our sickness, is quite simply not drinking.

... Anyone who wants it is welcome to a "free trial period" of this new concept of self. Afterward, anyone who wants the old days again is perfectly free to start them all over. It is your right to take back your misery if you want it.

On the other hand, you can also keep the new picture of yourself, if you'd rather. It, too, is yours by right.

---From Living Sober, page 9-10

do not have a drinking or drugging problem in today, I have a thinking problem. A thought that can take me to either the right or wrong action for me in today. What worked for eons and eons, no longer serves it's purpose in my life.

From the GV book

In early recovery, I was told that I had to take the first half of Step One 100%, I often wondered why they didn't say the whole of Step One.

Then I had a big awakening, my life is unmanageable when managed by me. There are still times that my life can be unmanageable, but thanks to the program, I can pick up the tools, get honest, surrender, accept, open my mind and let my thought out and another's in, and be willing to do what it takes to recover.

I AM NOT THE POWER. My best thinking got me to the doors of recovery. My way doesn't work. I am powerless over my disease, and that of others, whatever their disease might be. Some times we don't see them as such, and we think because we have our own disease, they might be right and we are wrong. They just might have their own disease, even if their dis-ease, is to fix me.

I qualify for both sides of the street. Alcohol is a drug. My son is my present qualifier, in the past are my mom, dad, and ex-husband, along with 2 sponsees who died from their disease, and a sponsee and an old boyfriend who died sober.

I no I am an addict, my drug of choice was more. I used alcohol like I used prescription drugs (dried-up alcohol), food, work/busy, an OPs (relationships, family, and sponsees). I was in denial for a long time before I could admit to being an alcoholic. I am an alcoholic and I am powerless over alcohol and food just like Snoopy.

One is too many, a thousand isn't enough.

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This probably came from here, but found it on another site. Good for a reread.

When you think it is the winter time blues, it could be your disease raising it's ugly head. Could be some of both. Always a good time to go back to basics.

When you find yourself grousing someone else out or your beating up on yourself, it is time to go to a meeting and pick up the phone and talk to your sponsor and complain to him/her. A sure sign for me is when I find myself cussing in what my mother use to call French. When a good Christian lady says, "Pardon my French, you know it is bad."

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This is a solution that has worked many times for me over the years. A day can start any time, each day is a new beginning, so have a great one.


It never ceases to amaze me how people can make the decision to stay stuck, to continue acting out in old patterns, and allow themselves to slip into depression and self-pity and not take action before it gets to the wallowing stage. This program is one of freedom. I don't have to live that way anymore.

So many people don't know they have choices, sometimes ignorance is not bliss. Yet I have found myself back there lately, at least I am able to recognize it and have the tools that I can pick up and help myself get out, and a God to not only to show me the way, but give me the courage, strength and wisdom as to what I need to do.

I know I didn't know how to have fun. I didn't know how to "lighten' up" and not take life so seriously as it says in Tradition Four. I didn't know how to let my inner child come out and play, let alone anything about giving her permission to do so. Life is for living and enjoying it. I was asked in early recovery, what makes you happy and I didn't know.

I didn't know I could choose the reactions, the actions and the moods, etc. that I had toward people, places and things.

Written in part in 2004.

This may be a duplicate but the thought spoke to me.

We are granted freedom of choice. It took me a long time to choose recovery. I was so busy blaming others for my problems, that I had no idea, until I had pushed everyone away, that the problem was me. I had no one left to point a finger at.


Who would want to choose, which one you wanted amongst these adorable critters? Making decisions are not one of our strong points. It is something we never had to do before. Our drug of choice always made our choices for us.

The relationship builds after we make the choice. It wouldn't matter which one we chose, the love is found as the connection grows and more choices are made.

We can limit ourselves by our choices. When we ask for God's will, all things are possible. Many times over the years, I have asked, "Are You sure about this?" It was me that was unsure. I had to learn to utilize the gifts that He bestowed on me. I am so grateful for the people He put in my path that taught me and guided me on my journey, who directed me towards making healthy choices, things that were good for my body, mind and spirit.

So many times we blame others for our choices. My mother use to say, "Look at what you made me do." My husband would say, "Well I wouldn't have done that if you had only done what I asked."

In recovery, I no longer have to give up my power. When I surrender my day to my Higher Power, I can make healthy choices. I can tap into the Source and live my life to it's fullest, not marking time, waiting for other, more importantly, not waiting on others, when it isn't good for me.
I need to help and give to others, yet I need to give nurturing and care to myself. I can't give away what I don't have.

Life is often how we look at it!

Have fun, enjoy your day. Make a choice to let your Inner Child come out to play.

Share the love, remember to give and receive.

For so many years, I lived my life through others. If they would only do what I 'told' them to do or 'thought' they should do, what a wonderful place my world would be.

I hinged my world onto theirs and my happiness depended on them and I put my life on hold, waiting for them to see the light.

I manipulated, conned, hinted, etc. my way into a soul sickness that was just as unhealthy as theirs were. It was no longer about them, it was about me.

I had to turn my thinking and obsessive ways over to my Higher Power and ask for help. I had to learn to work the slogan "Live and Let Live" into my life. The key word "Live" my own life and let them live theirs.

I would try to control my actions and thoughts, when in fact, all I had to do was turn them over to my Higher Power and through Him/Her, learn to live a better way of life.


It not only made me sick trying to control my alcoholic/addict, it made me sick, trying to control my own life.

I didn't realize that control was an illusion and as much as I thought I was in control, it just wasn't so. I had to learn to turn things over to my Higher Power and allow things to unfold as He would have them be.

I did the foot work. I had the dreams and ideals, yet often they were not reality and often if I had gotten them, what would I have done with it!

I have to chuckle when I go to buy a Lotto 649 Jackpot. If it is over 3 million $s, I tend to doubt whether I should buy one, what if I won it? I can see keeping a M$ for myself and giving one each to my sister's but after that, really don't have much use for all that money. What if I decided I could now 'afford' to drink and keep myself in the style I would like to become accustomed to. Would all that money change my priorities? That is a scary thought.

It isn't about the A in my life, it is about me and my attitude and my thinking that can get me into trouble. Best to turn it over to my HP who is much more qualified to handle it.

I am granted freedom of choice in today. It is what I do with that choice that makes a difference in my life today.

I realize that I was never allowed my space and I didn't know how to make a decision for myself. We can't know what we have never been taught and we pass on our shortcomings to our children. We did the best we could with what we had, but sometimes, we fell short of who we would like to be.

A friend once told me that I was an easy 'mark' and I had to change those old behaviors and habits.

When I visited my friend tonight, her son came in to see her. You just never know when you are going to get a chance to carry the message.

I found myself saying, "You can't expect to know what you have never been taught." I was also able to give my little spiel on acceptance. I don't have to like it, but I do have to accept it or I stay stuck.

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"Watch your thoughts, they become words;
Watch your words, they become actions;
Watch your actions, they become habits;
Watch your habits, they become character;
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny. "

- Tom Robbins -

Picking up substances that were not good for me

Running away from the reality of my life and everywhere I went, I took me with me.

I used relationships so I could focus on them instead of me. I depended on them to fill the emptiness inside and give me the happiness and fulfillment I wanted but didn't think I really deserved.

For so many years I blamed others for the problems in my life and I believe I was a product of my environment. I always wanted to fit in and belong and did many things that were not healthy choices. I lost my spiritual values and integrity as a result of habits I picked up along my way, and my destiny finally brought me to the doors of recovery. It took me a long time to get here, I was lucky the door was still open. Even luckier, that I lived to walk through it.

What you put out, comes back to you. I believe a thought is a prayer. Sending good thoughts to everyone this holiday season.

This is why I can't compare. Even holidays in recovery are best left in the past.

Just have to remember to take my God with me.

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