Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

Quote:

You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.

Detachment

The concept of letting go can be confusing to many of us. When are we doing too much or trying too hard to control people and outcomes? When are we doing too little? When is what we're doing an appropriate part of taking care of ourselves? What is our responsibility, and what isn't?

These issues can challenge us whether we've been in recovery ten days or ten years. Sometimes, we may let go so much that we neglect responsibility to others or ourselves. Other times, we may cross the line from taking care of ourselves to controlling others and outcomes.

There is no rulebook. But we don't have to make ourselves crazy; we don't have to be so afraid. We don't have to do recovery perfectly. If it feels like we need to do a particular action, we can do it. If no action feels timely or inspired, don't act on it.

Having and setting healthy limits - healthy boundaries - isn't a tidy process. We can give ourselves permission to experiment, to make mistakes, to learn, to grow.

We can talk to people, ask questions, and question ourselves. If there's something we need to do or learn, it will become apparent. Lessons don't go away. If we're not taking care of ourselves enough, well see that. If we are being too controlling, we'll grow to understand that too. Things will work out. The way will become dear.

Today, I will take actions that appear appropriate. I will let go of the rest. I will strive for the balance between self-responsibility, responsibility to others, and letting go.

Peace and relaxation flow through me with every breath that I take. --Ruth Fishel

Such a great message. Something we discount as important in our lives. The caretaker who doesn't know how to take care of herself. My sponsor said, "Give to yourself what you give to others."

I lived my life through others for most of my life. I had to detach from others in order to recover, then when I was more comfortable in my own skin, I had a message too share.

We detach because we love, not because we don't love ourselves or others.