October 16

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. --Matthew 6:34
To worry about something ahead of time is a waste of time and energy that could be better spent on living a full life today.
For instance, if we spend hours today worrying about an important test at school tomorrow, we can't very well concentrate on studying. And if we lie awake tonight agonizing over what we don't know or haven't studied, we're going to be exhausted tomorrow when we take the test.
Wouldn't it be much better to focus on doing all we can today to prepare for the test, and then, knowing we've done our best, let go of it tonight and get a good night's sleep? In fact, if we do that every day of the year, when a big test comes along, we'll know we're as ready as we can be, and won't have a thing to worry about. What a relief it is to know we've done our best today and every day.
What can I do well today so I won't worry about it tomorrow?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
One of the main reasons wealth makes people unhappy is that it gives them too much control over what they experience. They try to translate their own fantasies into reality instead of tasting what reality itself has to offer. --Philip Slater
We are constantly told that the way to happiness is through material possessions. "Men who drive this sports car have all the women after them!" "If I could only own this special tool it would make me happy!" What does a man really want? He wants a feeling that his life makes sense. He wants the give and take of loving relationships. He wants to feel he has a place in the world and can make a contribution. And he wants the feeling that he is not standing still, but growing in those ways.
Being poor certainly limits our options, but material wealth is an empty seduction. Putting all our energies into capturing wealth may make us rich, but it also can become an addiction that causes unhappiness. We become much richer in our souls and in our experiences when we take the risks that help us improve our relationships and teach us how to live balanced lives.
I will live each moment in ways that fit my true values.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
History provides abundant examples of . . . women whose greatest gift was in redeeming, inspiring, liberating, and nurturing the gifts of others. --Sonya Rudikoff
Part of our calling as members of the human community is to unconditionally love and support the people emotionally close to us. We have been drawn together for purposes wonderful but seldom readily apparent. We need one another's gifts, compassion, and inspiration in order to contribute our individual parts to the whole.
Not only do we need to nurture and to inspire others, but also our personal development, emotionally and spiritually, demands that we honor ourselves in like fashion. Self-love, full self-acceptance is necessary before we can give anything of lasting value to someone else. Selflessly must we give to others if, indeed, our love and support are meant to serve, and giving anything selflessly is evidence of healthy self-love.
Selfless love liberates the giver and the recipient. Giving selflessly reveals our personal contentment, and it means we are free to nurture our own gifts.
It's good and right that I should encourage someone else today. I will pay the same respect to myself, too.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Being Honest with Ourselves
Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship we need to maintain. The quality of that relationship will determine the quality of our other relationships.
When we can tell ourselves how we feel, and accept our feelings, we can tell others.
When we can accept what we want and need, we will be ready to have our wants and needs met.
When we can accept what we think and believe, and accept what's important to us, we can relay this to others.
When we learn to take ourselves seriously, others will too.
When we learn to chuckle at ourselves, we will be ready to laugh with others.
When we have learned to trust ourselves, we will be trustworthy and ready to trust.
When we can be grateful for who we are, we will have achieved self-love.
When we have achieved self-love and accepting our wants and needs, we will be ready to give and receive love.
When we've learned to stand on our own two feet, we're ready to stand next to someone.
Today, I will focus on having a good relationship with myself.


Today I am following my own inner guide, know that I am coming from the best of who I am. That makes me feel good about me. That gives me great pleasure. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 16
Go for the Ride of Your Life

The roller coaster crawled slowly upward, inching toward the first and biggest hill. And suddenly we were screaming downhill at ninety-seven miles an hour. It is, they claim, the fastest roller coaster in the world. I laughed and yelled and clutched the handlebar. When the ride ended, the attendant turned to us as we were about to leave. “Would you like to go again?” he asked. “It’s the last ride of the night. “We all shouted yes and rode the course again, the wind whipping through our hair. When the ride ended, as all rides do, we sat in our seats and cheered.

Sometimes things happen. Things we didn’t expect. Things we didn’t plan on. An event occurs that changes our life dramatically. The event may be good or bad, desirable or undesirable, fortunate or unfortunate. No matter how we describe it, its impact is the same. We step off our usual path and go for a roller coaster ride.

You may have begun a time of deep transformation, a journey chosen by your soul. Feel all you need to feel. Allow your thoughts to flow. Let your body shift as you go through the curves. Let yourself be transformed. Enjoy the ride, the entire experience, with all its twists and curves. Scream in fear. Cry out in joy. Laugh aloud with glee.

If you find yourself on a roller coaster, turn it into the ride of your life.

*****

more language of letting go
You'll go where you look

There was only one tree in the landing area. Most of its leaves had been stripped away by the winter winds. I didn't want to hit it, but that's exactly what I did.

My parachute opened up right over the student landing area, a blessing for someone as new and unsure as I. I flew along the side of the field, turned onto the base leg, and then carefully turned into my final approach just as I'd been taught. There it was, the tree, its scrawny branches reaching up for me. It was all I could see from that point on. I couldn't take my eyes off of it. For a moment I thought I might clear it. "NO LOW TURNS, NO LOW TURNS," kept screaming in my ear as I drifted lower and lower, straight toward that tree.

I watched myself sink right into it.

Laughter and applause drifted out from the packing area.

Later another jumper pulled me aside to talk. "Do you know why you hit the tree?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "It was in my way."

"There's more to it than that," she said. "You had plenty of time to turn out of the way of the tree. Instead, you watched yourself land right in it. You'll always go where you look. Look at something long enough to be aware of the potential for trouble, but don't fixate on the object. If you don't want to land on top of something, quit staring at it so hard."

Sometimes we get so focused on what we don't want and what we're afraid of, that's all we can see. We obsess about it, worry, and mull it around in our heads. It's all we can talk about, think, or feel. Then when we come crashing right into it, we wonder where we went wrong. After all, it was the very thing we had been trying to avoid.

The moral of this story is simple and sweet. Look at where you're going, but remember you'll go where you look.

Know what you don't want. Release your fears. Stay aware and alert to the dangers looming in your peripheral view. Your mind is more powerful than you might believe. If you put all your concentration and energy on something, that's exactly where you'll go.

God, help me stay aware and focus my energy on where you want me to go.

*****

Parts of the One
Ants and Bees, a Metaphor

by Madisyn Taylor

We can learn a lot from watching ants and bees living in community and working for the greater good.


When we see ants and bees out in the world, we often see just one, but this belies the reality of their situation. More than any other species, ants and bees function as parts of a whole. They cannot and do not survive as individuals; they survive as members of a group, and the group’s survival is the implicit goal of each individual’s life. There is no concept of life outside the group, so even to use the word individual is somewhat misleading. Often, humans, on the other hand, strongly value individuality and often negatively associate ants and bees with a lack of independence. And yet, if we look closer at these amazing creatures, we can learn valuable lessons about how much we can achieve when we band together with others to work for a higher purpose.

Most ants and bees have highly specified roles within their communities, some of which are biologically dictated, and they work within the confines of their roles without complaint, never wishing to be something other than what they are. In this way, they symbolize self-knowledge and humility. They also display selfless service as they work for the common good. In many ways, they are like the individual cells of one body, living and dying as necessary to preserve the integrity of the whole body, not to protect themselves as individuals. In this way, ants personify the ability to see beyond one’s small self to one’s place within the greater whole, and the ability to serve this whole selflessly.

Ants and bees can inspire us to fully own what we have to offer and to put it to use in the pursuit of a goal that will benefit all of humanity, whether it be raising consciousness about the environment, feeding the hungry, or raising a happy child. Each one of us has certain talents we were born with, as well as skills we have acquired. When we apply these gifts, knowing that we are one part of a greater organism working to better the whole world, we honor and implement the wisdom of ants and bees. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
October 16

Reflection For The Day

Someone once said that the mind’s direction is more important than its progress. If my direction is correct, then progress is sure to follow. We first come to The Program to receive something for ourselves, but soon learn that we receive most bountifully when we give to others. If the direction of my mind is to give rather than to receive, then I’ll benefit beyond my greatest expectations. The more I give of myself and the more generously I open my heart and mind to others, the more growth and progress I’ll achieve. Am I learning not to measure my giving against my getting, accepting that the act of giving is its own reward?

Today I Pray

May I not lose sight of that pillar of The Program — helping myself through helping others in our purpose of achieving comfortable sobriety. May I feel that marvel of giving and taking and giving back again from the moment I take the First Step. May I care deeply about others’ maintaining their freedom from chemicals, and may I know that they care about me. It is a simple — and beautiful — exchange.

Today I Will Remember

Give and take and give back again

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One More Day
October 16

Don’t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was
– Richard L. Eveans

There’s an old adage that good teachers still use: Start the child from where he is. In fact, we all have to begin from where we are. We may, at first, have a tendency to measure all our successes with our healthy life before our medical condition changed. Changed circumstances can play havoc with our lives.

Now we may have to set more realistic goals in order to reach them. We can still begin new jobs or new relationships. We begin over and over again throughout a lifetime — with or without a long-term medical situation. What matters most is how successfully we can handle the change. We’ll do fine as long as we remember we have started anew many times — successfully.

I will not discouraged by changes in my life. I have coped before, and I will again.

October 17

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Fear makes strangers of people who should be friends. --Shirley MacLaine
No one is brave every moment; each of us feels awkward, shy, perhaps even ugly or dumb part of the time. If we could understand that about each other, it would make it easier for us to be friendly and willing to talk to someone new. Instead, we often sit back, waiting to be noticed; waiting for someone to invite us to join in an activity.
We are all so much alike, yet we are so certain we're different. Being self-conscious is normal. Even those who are the most popular suffer the same fears as the rest of us. The better we understand the ways we are the same, the easier it will be to make friends with someone new. And it's through friends that we grow and are strengthened for whatever lies ahead.
What new person can I offer friendship to today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I never suspected that I would have to learn how to live - that there were specific disciplines and ways of seeing the world I had to master before I could awaken to a simple happy, uncomplicated life. --Dan Millman
Wisdom begins in seeing how much we do not know. Sometimes it's a painful blow to our egos to face what we still have to learn. Many of us have believed we know how to live. Yet, when we look at our lives, we see something has been missing. When we continue to have great stress, when we haven't made progress in simplifying our lives, when our lives seem full of crises - perhaps then it is time to open ourselves to some new learning.
We can talk to sponsors and get ideas from group members. Perhaps they have noticed our blind spots and will tell us if asked. Expressing our problems in specific ways may point us to new learning. Our program teaches us twelve specific disciplines for our growth. We need to return to them again and again. We can always ask ourselves, "What Step am I working on at this time?" We may need to learn new ways to work on a specific Step.
I will turn to my fellow group members and focus on one Step for my growth today.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Pride, we are told, my children, "goeth before a fall" and oh, the pride was there, and so the fall was not far away.
--Wilhelmina Kemp Johnstone
Requesting help. Admitting we are wrong. Owning our mistake in either a big or small matter. Asking for another chance or someone's love. All very difficult to do, and yet necessary if we are to grow. The difficulty is our pride, the big ego. We think, "We need to always be right. If we're wrong, then others may think less of us, look down on us, and question our worth." Perfectionism versus worthlessness.
If we are not perfect (and of course we never are), then we must be worthless. In between these two points on the scale is "being human." Our emotional growth, as women, is equal to how readily we accept our humanness, how able we are to be wrong. With humility comes a softness that smoothes our every experience, our every relationship. Pride makes us hard, keeps us hard, keeps others away, and sets us up for the fall.
I will let myself be human today. It will soften my vision of life.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Feelings and Surrender
Surrendering is a highly personal and spiritual experience.
Surrender is not something we can do in our heads. It is not something we can force or control by willpower. It is something we experience.
Acceptance, or surrender, is not a tidy package. Often, it is a package full of hard feelings - anger, rage, and sadness, followed by release and relief. As we surrender, we experience our frustration and anger at God, at other people, at ourselves, and at life. Then we come to the core of the pain and sadness, the heavy emotional burden inside that must come out before we can feel good. Often, these emotions are connected to healing and release at a deep level.
Surrender sets the wheels in motion. Our fear and anxiety about the future are released when we surrender.
We are protected. We are guided. Good things have been planned. The next step is now being taken. Surrender is the process that allows us to move forward. It is how our Higher Power moves us forward. Trust in the rightness of timing, and the freedom at the other end, as you struggle humanly through this spiritual experience.
I will be open to the process of surrender in my life. I will allow myself all the awkward and potent emotions that must be released.


Today I look to my Higher Power for strength, courage and direction. I gather my own strength and confidence from all possible resources and follow my own inner voice. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 17
Feeling Overwhelmed Is a Trap

Feeling overwhelmed is a trap, a tricky one at that. When we’re overwhelmed, we see all that needs to be done and say, That’s too much. I can’t do it. So instead, I shall do nothing. Feeling overwhelmed occurs when we say, I am already too busy so I can’t do that and now all is pressing in on me and I can’t do anything. And the acts that are ours to do keep piling up and pulling on us. And we keep resisting. And stress and pressure build up.

Feeling overwhelmed leads to feeling stuck, and both are an illusion. How simple those things that overwhelm us actually become when we release the feeling and return to the rhythm of our lives. When we say, Yes, I need to make that phone call, do that task. How simple the task becomes, how simple life becomes.

What’s bothering you that needs to be done? What’s pulling on you? What’s causing you to feel overwhelmed and maybe stuck, too? Make a list. Put your list aside, and begin by taking one simple action. Then watch as life unfolds. One act at a time, one thing at a time, all that needs to be done will get done. The stress will disappear, and you’ll feel back on track.

You’ll be given the ability, power, and guidance to do all that is on your path to do. Begin simply, quietly, by acknowledging feeling overwhelmed. Denying the pull of life and its tasks doesn’t remove stress, it compounds it.

Surrendering to the simple truths, even the simple truth of what we’re really feeling, will always set us free.

*****

more language of letting go
The beauty is easy to see

It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end.
--Ursula K. Le Guin

One lesson road trips have taught me is that while it's good to have a destination, it's good to see what the trip has to offer rather than waiting for it to bring us what we expected.

Recently, a friend and I made a trip to Santuario de Chimayo to visit the church and bring home some of the healing dust from the sacred place. Along the way, we planned to pass through other beautiful places in the Southwest, a spiritual pilgrimage we thought. We left the house ready to be enlightened. But something happened. In the hot Arizona air, we stopped letting the trip happen and started looking for a specific experience. The Indian ruins were overrun with tourist groups, and the beautiful red rock vortex center had been reduced to strip malls and time-share condos. Or spiritual quest had yielded nothing but disappointment so far. We felt antsy, irritable, and let down.

Then we saw the sign Meteor Crater road next right. We turned down that road, giving in to the cheesy kitsch of the trip. A mile wide and over five hundred feet deep the crater was left over fifty thousand years ago in the middle of what is now the Arizona desert. A man bought the land and he and his family became meteor experts-- marketing experts as well since they now charge ten dollars to see a big hole in the ground. Nice enough folks though, and we smiled for the first time on the trip.

I'd always wanted to see the Petrified Forest, Though I feared that once again the hype would overpower the reality of what it was. It didn't. The giant log-turned-to-stone were scarce but the place had a powerful timelessness to it. The sky was pastel blue. I lay on a giant wave of sand while Chip ran around taking pictures that would end up overexposed.

Later that evening we crossed the border into New Mexico. Chelle's-- a nice place to eat read the sign on the side of a building in Gallup. And it was nice, just like the sign said.

We can search for joy and enlightenment so frantically that we don't see the brilliance at our own feet. Sometimes in the search for enlightenment, it helps to remember to lighten up. To paraphrase Winnie the Pooh, if you're looking for enlightenment and only find the ordinary, then try looking at the ordinary and let it be what it is. You might then find something you weren't looking for, which might be just what you were looking for when you began.

Don't let your hopes and expectations be so high that you miss the beauty in what is. Joy and enlightenment, after all, aren't that hard to see.

God, help me let go of my expectations and delight in what is.

*****

Apologies
Empowered Forgiveness

by Madisyn Taylor

If we can remember that our response to others is important, we can realize that trust and forgiveness go hand in hand.


In life there will always be times when we are affected by the actions of another person. When this happens, we often receive an apology. More often than not we say, “It’s alright,” or “ It’s okay,” and by saying this we are allowing, accepting, and giving permission for the behavior to happen again. When we say “thank you,” or “I accept your apology,” we are forced to sit in our feelings rather than ignore them.

There are many of us who feel that it is easier to brush off how we really feel than to express our discomfort with something that has happened to us. While this may initially seem like the best thing to do, what it really does is put us into an unending pattern of behavior; since we are not honest with another person, we continue the cycle of letting them overstep our emotional limits time and time again. By doing this we place ourselves in the position of victim. We can put an end to this karmic chain by first acknowledging to the other person that we accept their request for forgiveness; often a simple “thank you” is enough. To truly create a greater sense of harmony in our relationship, however, we need to gently, and with compassion, express our innermost concerns about what has transpired. By taking a deep breath and calling upon the deepest parts of our spirit, we can usually find the right words to say and verbalize them in a way that lets the other person recognize the consequences of what they have done.

If we can remember that our response to others is important, we can begin to realize that trust and forgiveness go hand in hand. And when we react in a way that engenders a greater amount of honesty and candor, we will establish a more positive and empowering way of being and interacting others. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
October 17

Reflection For The Day

Now that we’re sober and living in reality, it’s sometimes difficult to see ourselves as others see us and, in the process, determine how much progress we’ve made in recovery. In the old days, the back-of-the-bar mirror presented us with a distorted and illusory view of ourselves; the way we imagined ourselves to be and the way we imagined ourselves to appear in the eyes of others. A good way for me to measure my progress today is imply to look about me at my friends in The Program. As I witness the miracle of their recoveries, I realize that I’m part of the same miracle — and will remain so as long as I’m willing. Am I grateful for reality and the Divine miracle of my recovery?

Today I Pray

May god keep my eyes open for miracles — those marvelous changes that have taken place in my own life and in the lives of my friends in the group. May I ask no other measurement of progress than a smile I can honestly mean and a clear eye and a mind that can, at last, touch reality. May my own joy be my answer to my question. “How am I doing?”

today I Will Remember

Miracles measure our progress: Who needs more?

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One More Day
October 17

Maturity: among other things — not to hide one’s strength out of fear and consequently live below one’s best.
– Dag Hammarskjold

The fear of being different is a powerful force in our lives, especially in the early times after a chronic illness is diagnosed. We fear being recognized as a victim of an illness, and we become afraid of any recognition at all.

We don’t want to live with this unreasonable fear, and we begin to understand that healthy thinking requires us to develop and use our many strengths. We stop denying and start accepting. The voice of our individuality begins to speak, loudly and clearly, and we answer with definitive action. We start to face our problems, to accept the ways in which we differ from others, and to rejoice in our strengths.

I won’t hid my strengths, for they are the means to life at its best.

October 18

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear. --Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes we begin to believe someone close to us is being mean deliberately. This may happen when a good friend suddenly stops inviting us to her house. She may be scared to have others over because her parents are having problems, or for some other reason that has nothing to do with us.
But we often fear that it is because of something we said or did. We find ourselves becoming scared and pulling away. If we ask for God's help in turning our fear around, we can overcome it and ask our friend why she stopped inviting us over. Most times we will find that our friend had no idea her actions affected us the way they did. We can then laugh at ourselves for our fears and applaud ourselves for overcoming them.
What treasure might I find beneath my fear today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here;
Thou art without form, but I worship you in these forms;
Thou neediest no praise, yet I offer you these prayers and salutations.
--Hindu prayer
The history of the Twelve Steps tells us that in the first small A.A. group there was controversy about the word God. For some of the men, God was known in traditional religious ways; other members were agnostic. This first group followed their group conscience. The resolution they achieved has inspired many new Twelve Step members ever since. They were guided through their disagreement to a new expression of their spiritual relationship. They began to speak of a "Power greater than ourselves" and of "God, as we understood Him."
Today we turn to God as we understand God, because our definitions are restricted by human limitations. We know from our own experiences and from the stories of thousands of men and women who have preceded us, that this spiritual program is very practical and simple. It works. It restores our lives.
To a Power greater than myself, I am filled with gratitude.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing.
--Catherine Ponder
We are in constant communication with one another and with God in the spiritual realm. No matter how singular our particular course may appear, our path is running parallel to many paths. And all paths will intersect when the need is present. The point of intersection is the moment when another soul seeks our attention. We can be attentive and loving to the people seeking our attention. Their growth and ours is at stake,
We can be grateful for our involvement with other lives. We can be mindful that our particular blessing is like no one else's and that we all need input from the many significant persons in our lives. There is no insignificant encounter in our passage through life. Each juncture with someone else is part of the destiny of both participants.
I will look carefully and lovingly at the people around me today and bless them, one and all. They are in my life because they need to be. I, likewise, need them.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Throwing Out the Rule Book
Many of us feel like we need a rulebook, a microscope, and a warranty to get through life. We feel uncertain, frightened. We want the security of knowing what's going to happen, and how we shall act.
We don't trust life or ourselves.
We don't trust the Plan.
We want to be in control.
"I've made terrible mistakes about my choices, mistakes that nearly destroyed me. Life has really shocked me. How can I trust myself? How can I trust life, and my instincts, after where I've been?" asked one woman.
It is understandable that we fear being crushed again, considering the way many of us were when we bottomed out on our codependency. We don't have to be fearful. We can trust our self, our path, and our instincts.
Yes, we want to avoid making the same mistakes again. We are not the same people we were yesterday or last year. We've learned, grown, changed. We did what we needed to do then. If we made a mistake, we cannot let that stop us from living and fully experiencing today.
We have arrived at the understanding that we needed our experiences - even our mistakes - to get to where we are today. Do we know that we needed our life to unfold exactly as it did to find ourselves, our Higher Power, and this new way of life? Or is part of us still calling our past a mistake?
We can let go of our past and trust ourselves now. We do not have to punish ourselves with our past. We don't need a rulebook, a microscope, a warranty. All we really need is a mirror. We can look into the mirror and say, "I trust you. No matter what happens, you can take care of yourself. And what happens will continue to be good, better than you think."
Today, I will stop clinging to the painful lessons of the past. I will open myself to the positive lessons today and tomorrow hold for me. I trust that I can and will take care of myself now. I trust that the Plan is good, even when I don't know what it is.


Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 18
Trust the Morning

I arrived in Sedona late at night, after ten o’clock. Motel offices were closed everywhere I went. The signs flashed “No Vacancy.” I hung around the convenience store for a while, trying to figure out what to do, having second thoughts about spontaneity and trusting the universe. I regretted not having an itinerary. I was too tired to drive much longer. I no longer cared if my journey was magical; it was back to basics. I wanted to sleep in a bed that night.

I bought the local paper and spotted an ad for a lodge. I called the number, but no luck. I got in my car, wondering what to do.

On the edge of town, I saw a motel with lights in the office and a person behind the desk. I went inside and pestered the girl behind the desk for help. She finally relented, telling me of a little known hotel about an hour away. She lived close by, she said. I could follow her there. An hour later, I gratefully checked into a room. I couldn’t find the heat, but I did have a bed, pillow, and blanket.

The next morning, I discovered I was staying on the edge of a dry, dusty golf course. The area was surrounded by low, barren hills barely covered with shrubs. I headed the car to Sedona, still tired, still wondering why I was there.

My car rounded a curve. Suddenly I was surrounded by spiraling red mesas shaped by nature into forms of bells, cathedrals, and carved towers reaching to the sky. The sunlight danced on the rusty red sculptures, lighting them with an orange-yellow glow. I smiled at the breathtaking view, grateful the experience had unfolded as it had.

Sometimes, the darkness and loneliness of night make the color and beauty of the sunrise and the new day all that much more beautiful. Contrast is an important part of creativity. Our Creator knows that. So does our heart.

Things look different in the morning. Trust that the morning will come.

*****

more language of letting go
Take another look

It's amazing the difference
A bit of sky can make.
--Shel Silverstein

We spend morning at the Blue Sky Lodge drinking coffee on the back porch watching the world wake up. One morning, after grabbing my cup, I walked out back to find Frank, a skydiving friend staying at the Lodge while visiting from the United Kingdom, busliy snapping pictures of the surrounding terrain.

"Frank, why are you taking pictures of this?" I asked. "If you want, we can take you to some of the more scenic areas around here."

"No way," he replied. "No one back home will believe that I got to spend my time in a place with a view like this."

I looked around and tried to see the view through his eyes. The rolling hills of southern California were bathed in golden early morning sunlight, while a light marine layer curled over the ridgeline of the Ortega Mountains just three miles to the west. San Jacinto rose high in the eastern sky, a pale silhouette in the morning sun.

I smiled and for the first time in a while took in the sheer beauty of the view. Lately all I had been seeing were the piles of leaves and construction materials scattered around the yard or the cars driving along the road in the valley below us. I had been surrounded with beauty and yet had grown so accustomed to it that I didn't even notice it anymore.

Many times what we need isn't a change of scenery, but a renewed vision of what's already there. Take another look at your life-- where you live, your friends, your work-- all your gifts. Maybe the view in your life is better than you think.

God, renew my spirit. Help me look at my life with a fresh vision. If I don't like what I see, help me look again.

*****

Complementary Energies
Balancing Self with Family Life

by Madisyn Taylor

It is vital to the energy of your spirit and the energy of your family unit that you take time for yourself each day to balance and center.


Many of us have a hard time balancing taking care of ourselves with taking care of our family responsibilities. For people with young children, this can be especially challenging, but even people without children have obligations to care for extended family, partners, pets, and the home in which they live. It’s easy to lose track of our own needs as we give ourselves to the people, pets, and places we love. However, it is essential to their well-being that we take care of ourselves, filling our own wells with water so that we have something to offer when we return home each day.

It is easy to get caught up in the demands of home life because they never stop. There is always one more thing you can do, another dish in the sink, a counter that needs wiping, or a person who needs a ride somewhere. If you don’t set some boundaries, you will find yourself on an endless journey of housework and doing for others. Eventually, you will probably feel drained and out of touch with your inner life force. Instead of waiting for this to happen, integrate self-care into your daily schedule. Even Buddha insisted that he have one hour completely to himself every day. There are times when even that will not be possible—for example, with a new baby or a sick relative. At times like this, retreating inward energetically can be a lifesaver. You can always find five minutes to close your eyes and breathe consciously. You may even be able to meditate.

Most of the time, though, it is possible to set aside a full hour for yourself each day. In addition, scheduling a longer interval of time, perhaps on a weekly basis, can really help to restore your energy. Get a massage or go to a movie or out with a friend. Taking time to experience the world outside of your home makes returning home all the more wonderful. In the same way, taking care of yourself is a natural complement to taking care of your home and family. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
October 18

Reflection For The Day

Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined the rewards that would be mine when I first contemplated turning my life and will over to the care of God as I understand Him. Now I can rejoice in the blessing of my own recovery, as well as the recoveries of countless others who have found hope and a new way of life in The Program. After all the years of waste and terror, I realize today that God has always been on my side and at my side. Isn’t my clearer understanding of God’s will one of the best things that has happened to me?

Today I Pray

May I be thankful for the blessed contrast between the way my life used to be (Part 1) and the way it is now (Part II). In Part I, I was the practicing addict, adrift among my fears and delusions. In Part II, I am the recovering addict, rediscovering my emotions, accepting my responsibilities, learning what the real world has to offer, growing close to my Higher Power. Without the contrast, I could never feel the joy I know today or sense the peaceful nearness of my Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember

I am grateful for such contrast.

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One More Day
October 18

Quote:He that can’t endure the bad, will not live to see the good.
– Yiddish Proverb

Maturity means taking thee bitter with the sweet. Wisdom is the realization that sometimes the two are interrelated. An we might have been bitter because quality of our lives was changed.

Now, with a clearer perspective and greater maturity, we realize that many of the sweeter aspects of our lives today have grown out of our learning to cope with chronic illness. We live more in the moment, rather than always pursuing some distant goal. Our values reflect a stronger sense of self; they emphasize people over things. For many of us, the growth, the joy, and the self-esteem that now sweeten our lives come from the bitter experiences of chronic illness.

I accept that my life experiences will be both good and bad. Although my illness is unwanted. I have been strengthen by it.

October 19

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
All power is a trust. We are accountable for its exercise. From people and for people all power springs, and all must exist. --Benjamin Disraeli
The sun is power. It warms, it burns, it feeds the plants without which we could not live. Yet, for all its power, the sun cannot make so much as a rainbow by itself. For that, it needs the rain, at just the right time and angle.
No matter how strong we are--or smart or talented or attractive--we realize our full power only by filtering it through others. Our most meaningful achievements are born of combined efforts. Even when we do something that feels like ours alone--paint a painting, win an award, hit a home run--there is always a constellation of friends and family and teachers, even enemies, who've been a part of our success.
Like the rain's part in the rainbow, the contributions of others do not detract from our achievements, but enhance them and bring them to their fullest light.
How are others enhancing my growth today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If only I could throw away the urge to trace my patterns in your heart I could really see you. --David Brandon
Trying to control and change the people around us creates great problems in our relationships. When people we love are expressing themselves, we're thinking about what we wish they would say, and it blocks us from hearing clearly. A need for safety and for a guarantee that we won't be abandoned urges us to manipulate the people we love. We know we have innocent motives. We say we only want what is best and that we are only trying to protect ourselves or be helpful. But we hide from the effects our actions have on our relationships.
We seem to be more trapped in these self-centered behaviors with the ones we are closest to. We can change ourselves by slowly releasing our security grip on others. We can focus more on understanding what others are saying to us than on changing how they think and feel. Intimacy is clearly seeing each other and knowing the differences as well as the similarities. It requires that both people be allowed to walk on separate paths.
I will release my grip on my loved ones and turn to my Higher Power for security and serenity.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
One of the conclusions I have come to in my old age is the importance of living in the ever-present now. In the past, too often I indulged in the belief that somehow or other tomorrow would be brighter or happier or richer. --Ruth Casey
How easily our minds jump from the present to the foibles of the past or our fears about the future. How seldom are our minds on this moment, and only this moment.
Before we picked up this book, where were our thoughts? We need to practice, with diligence, returning our minds to whatever the experience at hand. A truly creative response to any situation can only be made when we are giving it our undivided attention. And each creative response initiates an even more exciting follow-up experience.
All we have of life, all that it can offer us is here, now. If we close our mind to the present, this present, we'll only continue to do so when the tomorrow we dream of now becomes the present. There are no tomorrows.
I will let go of the past and the future. My only reality is here, now. God's gifts are here, today, right now.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Our Good Points
What's a codependent? The answer's easy. They're some of the most loving, caring people I know. --Beyond Codependency
We don't need to limit an inventory of ourselves to the negatives. Focusing only on what's wrong is a core issue in our codependency.
Honestly, fearlessly, ask: "What's right with me? What are my good points?"
"Am I a loving, caring, nurturing person?" We may have neglected to love ourselves in the process of caring for others, but nurturing is an asset.
"Is there something I do particularly well?" "Do I have a strong faith?" "Am I good at being there for others?" "Am I good as part of a team, or as a leader?" "Do I have a way with words or with emotions?"
"Do I have a sense of humor?" "Do I brighten people up?" "Am I good at comforting others?" "Do I have an ability to make something good out of barely nothing at all?" "Do I see the best in people?"
These are character assets. We may have gone to an extreme with these, but that's okay. We are now on our way to finding balance.
Recovery is not about eliminating our personality. Recovery aims at changing, accepting, working around, or transforming our negatives, and building on our positives. We all have assets; we only need to focus on them, empower them, and draw them out in ourselves.
Codependents are some of the most loving, caring people around. Now, we're learning to give some of that concern and nurturing to ourselves.
Today, I will focus on what's right about me. I will give myself some of the caring I've extended to the world.


I am so grateful I have a power greater than myself to turn to when I do not have the answers. I am so grateful for the program of recovery that has brought me joy and purpose and love. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 19
Honor This Time of Change

I left Point Reyes, a seashore town close to San Francisco, heading for Sequoia National Park. I wanted to cross the Golden Gate Bridge, but I wasn’t certain I could find it. City traffic was jarring after being in the woods, the mountains, and by the sea. Before long, however, I found myself at the foot of the Golden Gate. As I drove the span of the bridge, I felt the same electric charge surge through me as I had felt in Chimayo, in Ojo Caliente, and on the Flathead Reservation. It was the first time I realized that bridges are holy, sacred ground.

Times of change are holy. We may not know where we’re going. It may not feel like our feet are on solid ground. They aren’t. We’re crossing a bridge to another part of our lives.

Sometimes we may find ourselves at this bridge unwittingly, not certain how we got there, not certain we want to cross. Other times, we may have sought, prayed for, hoped for, longed for this time of change.

Drive across the bridge. You don’t have to understand it all right now. Information and understanding will come later. You’ll get to the other side. For now, trust and experience what you’re going through. Know that this time of change is sacred,too.

*****

more language of letting go
See for yourself

I have a friend who likes to hike and backpack. He always takes beautiful pictures of the places that he visits. After one trip he was telling me about a camp high in the California Sierras while showing me a photo of a stunning sunset. He told me about the night that he returned to camp after walking to the top of the mountain.

"When I got down, I found that everyone else had packed up and left camp. I was alone at twelve thousand feet. The silence was so thick I could almost touch it. You should have seen the sunset that night. It was even better than this picture."

"Why didn't you take a picture if the sunset was even more beautiful?" I asked.

"I figured that no one else cared to see the world from that viewpoint that night but me, so I just kept the sunset all to myself," he explained. "If you weren't there, you just missed out."

This summer I watched the sun set over a lake in a corner of New Mexico, then I spent the night under the stars in a sleeping bag. The stars were so clear, so close, so brilliant I felt like I could touch them. And no, I didn't take a picture. If you weren't there, you just missed out.

You can read a meditation book, make a list, and even talk to people who live their lives fully, but unless you make the trip yourself, you won't see all this life has to offer.

Is there a picture that you've been to busy to see lately? Break out of the ordinary. See something new or see the ordinary in a new way. Don't just glance. Really look. Then bring back the picture in your heart. Unless you're there, you're just missing out. Some things you just need to see for yourself.

God, help me live my life to the fullest. Help me see and treasure all the beauty in the world.

*****

Appreciating Suggestions
Other People's Agendas

As children, our parents had dreams for us. They wanted us to do well in school, and to do whatever was necessary to reach our highest potential. Later in life, friends may try to set us up with their idea of the perfect partner or the perfect job. Spouses may have agendas for us, too. People close to us may have ideas about how we should live our lives, ideas that usually come from love and the desire for us to be happy. Other times, they come from a place of need within them—whether it is the parent who wants us to live out his or her dreams or the friend or spouse who wants us to play an already-defined role. Whatever the case, we can appreciate and consider those people’s input, but ultimately we must follow our own inner guidance.

There may come a time when all the suggestions can become overbearing. We may feel that the people we love don’t approve of our judgment, which can hurt our feelings. It can interfere with the choices we make for our lives by making us doubt ourselves, or filling a void with their wishes before we’ve had a chance to decide what we want. It can affect us energetically as well. We may have to deal with feelings of resistance or the need to shut ourselves off from them. But we can take some time to rid ourselves of any unnecessary doubts and go within to become clear on what we desire for ourselves.

We can tell our loved ones how much we appreciate their thoughts and ideas, but that we need to live our own lives and make our own decisions. We can explain that they need to let us learn from our own experiences rather than rob us of wonderful life lessons and the opportunity to fine-tune our own judgment. When they see that we are happy with our lives and the path we are taking to reach our goals, they can rest assured that all we need them to do is to share in our joy. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
October 19

Reflection For The Day

There are countless ways by which my progress and growth in The Program can be measured. One of the most important is my awareness that I’m no longer compelled, almost obsessively, to go around judging everything and everybody. My only business today is to work on changing myself, rather than other people, places and things. In its own way, the obsession of being forever judgmental was as burdensome to me as the obsession of my addiction; I’m grateful that both weights have been lifted from my shoulders. When I become judgmental, will I remind myself that I’m trespassing on God’s territory?

Today I Pray

Forgive me my trespasses, when I have become the self-proclaimed judge-and-jury of my peers. By being judgmental, I have trespassed on the rights of others to judge themselves– and on the rights of God in the Highest Court of all. May I throw away all my judgmental tools — my own yardstick and measuring tapes, my own comparisons, my unreachable standards — and accept each person as an individual beyond compare.

Today I Will Remember

Throw away old tapes – especially measuring tapes.

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One More Day
October 19

There must be something strangely sacred in salt. It is in our tears and in the sea.
– Kahlil Gibran

Emotion plays around a person’s face, making it strained or relaxed. We say we can “read” someone else’s face. Few of us burst into spontaneous tears or laughter, but instead first show slight emotion on our faces or in the way we speak.

Laughter is instrumental to our well-being, but tears are also essential to our emotional survival. When we finally release the emotions we feel and the dams break loose, the tears are healing. They allow us to cleanse ourselves of pent-up angers, fears, and frustrations.

I know crying is a human characteristic. I will not be ashamed of my need to cry, for tears are part of my human experience.

October 20

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
The bough, which has been downward thrust by force of strength to bend its top to earth, so soon as the pressing hand is gone, looks up again straight to the sky above. --Boethius
When we are down, low, depressed, why can't we ignore the desire to rise up again? Because we're like plants that need pure air, water, and sun. Because no matter how bent and old, we just keep wanting to grow up. Because there is a natural spring in us like that which makes flowers leap from the earth in May. Because we have hidden wings. And if we listen, we can feel the difference between wrong and right: we know the difference even with our eyes closed. Therefore we should not try putting ourselves down, for we will spring up again, sure as Spring.
What is the main way I try to put myself down?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament. --George Santayana
We could probably feel more tranquil if the world were a simpler place and always gave us simple answers. But we are faced with many ambiguous and uncertain situations. The changing roles of men and women can often leave us bewildered. We are engaged in the development of relationships that have lives of their own, and it's not always clear where they are headed. Even within ourselves we have contradictory feelings, and it's difficult to come up with clear answers.
Since we cannot force simplicity upon the world, we must turn to ourselves for a new response. We can become more tolerant of our unsettled predicaments. We can learn to have faith that good comes from change. Things have a way of settling out and clarifying with time. As we develop patience with the questions and the unclear issues in our lives, we gain a deeper serenity.
Today, I will recall the predicaments in my past life that, in time, became clearer, and I will have patience with what seems unsettled.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
...You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now. --Joan Baez
How thrilling to contemplate that we can choose every attitude we have and every action we take. We have been gifted with full responsibility for our development. What will we try today? It's our personal choice. How will we decide on a particular issue? Our options are only limited by our vision.
Every situation in life offers us a significant opportunity for making a decision that will, of necessity, influence the remaining situations we encounter. Just as we are interdependent, needing and influencing one another in all instances that bring us together, likewise our decisions are never inviolate. Each is singly important; however, its impact is multiplied by the variety of other decisions triggered.
The choice is ours for livings fully today, for taking advantage of all the opportunities that present themselves. Our personal growths, our emotional and spiritual development, are in our hands. God will provide us with the guidance, and the program offers us the tools. The decision to act is ours, alone.
I will exercise my personal power. My choices determine my development.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Detaching with Love
Sometimes people we love do things we don't like or approve of. We react. They react. Before long, we're all reacting to each other, and the problem escalates.
When do we detach? When we're hooked into a reaction of anger, fear, guilt, or shame. When we get hooked into a power play - an attempt to control or force others to do something they don't want to do. When the way we're reacting isn't helping the other person or solving the problem. When the way we're reacting is hurting us.
Often, it's time to detach when detachment appears to be the least likely, or possible, thing to do.
The first step toward detachment is understanding that reacting and controlling don't help. The next step is getting peaceful - getting centered and restoring our balance.
Take a walk. Leave the room. Go to a meeting. Take a long, hot bath. Call a friend. Call on God. Breathe deeply. Find peace. From that place of peace and centering will emerge an answer, a solution.
Today, I will surrender and trust that the answer is near.


It feels so good to know that I am healing from my old wounds. As I bring love and acceptance to myself today I can watch the pain disappear and I feel so much better about myself. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 20
Fall into the Arms of Universal Love

Often in our lives we stand on a precipice. Something happens, a situation occurs, and in one moment our life changes dramatically in a way we hoped and prayed it wouldn’t. We topple off. In that moment, we may feel as if we’ve been pushed off a cliff.

Other times when we stand poised and our life changes radically in one moment, it’s a welcome change. We feel delightfully spontaneous, guided, powerful, centered. Ready to take risks. Ready to leap into the adventure.

Sometimes we’re pushed, sometimes we decide to make the leap on our own. Either way, we’re safe, we’re protected. Either way we can trust that we’ll land in the arms of universal love.

*****

more language of letting go
Be present now

Take time, but not too much, to see where you want to go. Learn the lessons from your past. Then let go of yesterday. Let tomorrow take care of itself. Even our best prediction about what may come in the future is only an educated guess, no matter how diligently we try to see ahead. If all you look at is where you're going, you'll miss all the wonder and beauty along the way. And once you get there-- your future-- you may not even remember where you've been. Rushing may be such a habit that you won't enjoy your future once it arrives.

Be where you are right now. See what's in front of you, not what you wish were there. Take time to see, enjoy, and appreciate what's present. Take action if you need to. Or just enjoy the view. You've worked hard to get here. Enjoy it.

The past is important. It's where we've been. The future is important,too. But there's no time-- and no time as real-- as the present.

Learn to be here,now.

God heighten my awareness and appreciation of each moment in my life.

*****

Argument
Stepping Back from Anger

by Madisyn Taylor

The emotional trigger than begins an argument may have little to do with your present situation, but has dug up a wound.


When we find ourselves in an argument, we may feel like we are losing control of emotions that have taken on lives of their own. When we can become aware that this is happening, taking a deep breath can help us step back from the situation. Once we can separate ourselves from the heat of the moment, we may find that the emotional trigger that began the argument has little to do with the present situation, but may have brought up feelings related to something else entirely. Looking honestly at what caused our reaction allows us to consciously respond more appropriately to the situation and make the best choices.

We can make an agreement with our partners and those closest to us that asking questions can help all of us discover the source of the argument. The shared awareness can result in finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood sugar or even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are taking ourselves too seriously, and we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We could also discover that perhaps we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. But there may be a deeper issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The more we allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing, the easier it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us toward solutions that improve our lives.

When we can be clear about our feelings and intentions and communicate them clearly, we have a far better chance of getting what we want than if we lose control or allow our subconscious minds to manipulate the situation. We might take our frustrations out on the people closest to us because we feel safe and comfortable with them, but misplaced anger can cause more harm than good. Arguing for what we truly believe can empower us and help us to direct our passions toward greater life experiences. Truly knowing our reasons for arguing enables us to grow emotionally in ways that will affect our whole being. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
October 20

Reflection For The Day

Before I admitted my powerlessness over alcohol and other chemicals, I had as much self-worth as a “peeled zero.” I came into The Program as a nobody who desperately wanted to be a somebody. In retrospect, my self-esteem was shredded, seemingly beyond repair. Gradually, The Program has enabled me to achieve an even-stronger sense of self-worth. I’ve come to accept myself, realizing that I’m not so bad as I had always supposed myself to be. Am I learning that my self-worth is not dependent on the approval of others, but instead is truly an “inside job”?

Today I Pray

When I am feeling down and worthless, may my Higher Power and my friends in the group help me see that, although I was “fallen,” I was not “cast down.” However sick I might have been in my worst days, with all the self-esteem of an earth worm, may I know that I still had the power of choice. And I chose to do something about myself. May that good choice be the basis for my reactivated self-worth.

Today I Will Remember

I will not kick myself when I’m down.

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One More Day
October 20

By a tranquil mind I mean nothing else than a mind well ordered.
– Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

When we are diagnosed as having a permanent medical condition, we may think we’ll never know tranquility again. Before too long, though, we realize that whether we are entirely healthy or not, we bring to our new challenge the same value system we always had. We can still find peace and serenity in our lives, for we continue to live our lives as well as we are able.

We owe it to ourselves to search out tranquility — a state in which we feel extremely peaceful, at eas3e with our inner strength, with nature, and with our sense of higher purpose. Walking hand in hand with tranquility creates harmony, a time when our thoughts are orderly and we feel little distress.

I will work on keeping a peaceful mind in order to smooth out my rougher days.

October 21

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Great events make me quiet and calm; it is only trifles that irritate my nerves. --Queen Victoria
Isn't that always the way? We cope with major events, like births and weddings, fairly well. It is the little things--so inconsequential in the long run--that upset us. If the kids don't pick up their rooms, or dinner is late, or we can't go to the movies because we haven't done our homework, we become irritated and annoyed. Minor things like these upset us much more than they should.
Are they really so important? A messy room is not a terminal illness. A late dinner won't affect our health unless we get so upset about it we make ourselves sick. We'll survive.
If we think back to the last time we were angry or upset, does it seem important now? We probably can't even remember why we reacted that way. How much better life is when we let go of the little irritations.
What irritation can I let go of today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
No man can produce great things who is not thoroughly sincere in dealing with himself. --James Russell Lowell
We are in the business of producing miracles. The renewal of life in us and others in this program is a great event and happens only after we establish an honest relationship with ourselves. No longer can we excuse our minimizing and little white lies that push aside the truth. No longer can we deny our private fears and self doubts. In our growing sincerity with ourselves, we can admit our weaknesses. Some of us feel inadequate at our work, many of us have feelings that we aren't masculine enough, and many of us feel tempted to return to old destructive behaviors.
In this program we have a renewal based on truth. We build upon solid reality rather than upon fiction. Denying the truth to ourselves always made us weaker and sicker than the facts themselves ever could. Viewing the facts from a new position of acceptance shows they aren't nearly as bad as we thought. Our sincerity with ourselves becomes a solid footing for growth.
My strength today is based upon a sincere relationship with myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The strength of the drive determines the force required to suppress it. --Mary Jane Sherfey
We are all struggling to succeed. And each day of our lives we'll be confronted with major or minor adversities that might well interfere with our success. Adversities don't have to hinder us, however. They can strengthen us, if we incorporate them as opportunities for growth.
For many of us, the ability to handle adversity is a fairly recent phenomenon. And not always can we do it securely and with ease. But we are coming to believe that a power greater than ourselves is at hand and will guarantee us all the strength we'll ever need. Knowing that action is always possible, that passive acceptance of any condition need never be necessary are unconditional gifts of living the Twelve Step program.
Our path forward is as certain as our commitment to it, our belief in the strength of the program, and our faith that all is well even when times are troubled. No one ever promised that our new way of life would be always easy. But we have been promised that we'll arrive at our proper destination if we do the footwork and let God do the navigating.
Success is at hand. I will apply what I'm learning, and I'll meet it.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Financial Responsibility
"When I began recovery from chemical dependency, I had to face my money mess stone cold sober, and I really had a mess," said one woman.
"I wasn't able to earn much at first, and it was important to me to make amends. I had past due bills from years before. I needed to try to stay current with my new bills. I had a lot more money before I sobered up. But in time, slowly, gradually, my financial situation cleared up. I restored my credit. I had a checking account. I had a little money in the bank.
"Then I married an alcoholic and began to learn about my codependency - the hard way. I lost myself, my feelings, my sanity, and all the progress I had made with my financial affairs. My husband and I opened a checking account together, and he over drafted checks until I lost the right to have a checking account. I let him charge and charge on my credit card, and he drove that into the ground.
"We borrowed and borrowed to keep our sinking ship afloat - and we borrowed a lot from my parents," she said. "By the time I began my recovery from codependency, I was again facing a real financial mess. I was furious, but it didn't matter who did what. I had some serious financial matters to face if that part of my life was ever going to become manageable again.
"Slowly - very slowly - I began to work out of my mess. It seemed impossible! I didn't even want to face it, it felt so overwhelming and hopeless. But I did. And each day I did the best I could to be responsible for myself.
"One decision I made was to separate and protect myself financially from my husband, the best I could, before and after we divorced. The other decision I made was to face and begin reconstructing the financial affairs in my life.
"It was difficult. We owed over fifty thousand dollars, and my ability to produce income had dramatically decreased. I was grieving; my self-esteem was at an all time low; my energy was low. I did not know how I would ever untangle this nightmare. But it did happen. Slowly, gradually, with the help of a Higher Power, manageability crept in and replaces chaos.
"I began by not spending more than I earned. I paid back some creditors, a little at a time. I let go of what I couldn't do, and focused on what I could do.
"Now, eight years have passed. I am debt free, which I never imagined possible. I am living comfortably, with money in the bank. My credit has been restored, again. And I intend to keep it that way.
"I am not willing to lose my financial sanity and security again, ever, for love or for alcoholism. With the help of God and the Twelve Steps, I won't have to."
One day at a time, we can be restored in recovery - mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially. It may get worse before it gets better - because we are finally facing reality instead of dodging it. But once we make the decision to take financial responsibility for ourselves, we are on our way.
God, help me remember that what seems hopeless today can often be solved tomorrow, even if I can't see the solution. If I have allowed the problems of others to hurt me financially, help me repair and restore my boundaries around money - and what I am willing to lose. Help me understand that I do not have to allow anyone else's financial irresponsibility, addiction, disease, or problem to hurt me financially. Help me go on with my life in spite of my present financial circumstances, trusting that if I am willing to make amends and be responsible, things will work out.


Today I know that I am not alone. Today I know that God guides me in all situations and all I have to do to get help is to ask for it. --Ruth Fishel God help me to stay sober and clean today!

*****

Journey to the Heart
Learn to Nurture and Be Nurtured

It was a quiet morning. I was holed up in a hotel room at the mouth of Bryce Canyon, working on this book. Working on my life. I stayed in bed for a while-- thinking, pondering, wondering. Finally I got up, went to the restaurant for coffee and a roll, then went for a drive. Soak up nature, I told myself. This journey is a living meditation.

I drove into Bryce Canyon Park, letting the massive stones, the colors and spirals, the eternity of the canyon touch me, heal me, soothe my soul. An hour later, when I felt calmer and more energized, I got back in the car and headed for the park exit. Several cars were jammed up. I wondered if there had been an accident. Then I saw why the others had stopped. A mother deer was standing on the side of the road, gently nuzzling her fawn. She stood by her off-spring's side, protecting and nurturing.

Many of us barely remember a mother's nurturing love; some of us do, with fondness and joy. Many of us have experienced the great gift of nurturing and loving our children, a joy that opens the heart in a way little else can. Some of us have learned to give and receive nurturing in other ways, to people outside our immediate families. But most of us, along the way, have learned the gift, the wonder, the awe, and the healing blessings of nurturing. Giving and reveiving is a continuous cycle, a necessary part of the road to the heart.

Learn to nurture others. Nurture and love yourself. The whole universe will rally round and help. Others will applaud your efforts and learn from them, the way the passersby stopped to gaze on the deer and her fawn.

Celebrate the power of nurturing. Release its gentle love. It rests inside each of us, waiting to be seen, appreciated, and brought to life.

*****

more language of letting go
Cultivate awareness

Often the words "consciousness" and "awareness" are used interchangebly. ... Consciousness is the pulsing vibration that is the essence of all things. Awareness is the individuating "I AM" in each of us. Wherever I am, my awareness is also. When I move, my awareness goes with me. When I focus my awareness on something, I perceive that thing. Through my physical sensory organs I am aware of sights, sounds, tastes, smells and touch. Through higher sensory perception I am aware of much more.
--Enid Hoffman

Use all your senses, whether you are visualizing the future or sinking into a joyful awareness of where you are right now. Don't just look at the flower-- touch it. Smell it. Feel it.

Don't just gaze at the people in your life. Hear them. Feel their power and presence.

Slow down. Don't move so fast. You'll miss important things. Cultivate awareness. Bring your senses, all of them, into the heart of your life.

Awareness isn't about looking. It's about seeing with more than our eyes. Often when we look for a thing, whether it's a home or a girlfriend, all we can see is our projections-- our hopes, fears, past, and desires.

Relax. Stop projecting yourself onto the world. Let go of judgements. Let things and people be what and who they are.

Cultivate awareness by using all your senses.

Learn to see what is.

God, help me slow down and become aware.

*****

The Joyful Flow
Good Vibrations

Feelings vibrate, just as all things in the universe do, at a particular frequency. Negative feelings like anger, guilt, and depression vibrate at low frequencies, while positive feelings like joy, appreciation, and passion vibrate at high frequencies. These high frequency vibrations make us feel good. This is why people and places that inspire and cultivate positive feelings have what we call good vibrations.

Good vibrations inspire health, happiness, and optimism. When we are tuned in to good vibrations, our bodies heal, our hearts open, and our minds shift toward the light. We see new possibilities and feel powerfully energized to follow our inner visions. At the same time, we feel relaxed and capable of manifesting these visions without giving in to stress or struggle. Good vibrations put us in a state of perfect receptivity so that we feel it is the energy flowing through us that accomplishes what needs to be done. We feel guided, supported, protected, and nourished within this joyful flow. We sometimes forget that we are allowed to feel this way all the time.

Lower frequency vibrations are not bad in a moral sense, but they are bad in the sense that they simply don’t feel good. Still, they have a purpose, which is to alert us to the fact that we are blocking out the higher frequency vibrations that we need to function well. They are a call for healing ourselves from within. The key to our healing lies in remembering that it is our birthright to feel good and that feeling good is the essence of our true nature. When we are receiving and sending out good vibrations, we are in the flow. When we are not, we can begin to raise our vibration by seeking out people, places, and situations that vibrate at a higher frequency. Whether we need to go on retreat or just call a friend who makes us laugh, seeking out those good vibrations and basking in them is a sacred and loving practice that returns us, time and again, to the joyful flow of the universe. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

A Day at a Time
October 21

Reflection for the Day
There's a world of difference between the idea of self-love and love of self. Self-love is a reflection of an inflated ego, around which - in our distorted view of our own self-importance - everything must revolve. Self-love is the breeding ground for hostility, arrogance and a host of other character defects which blind us to any point of view but our own. Love of self, in contrast, is an appreciation of our dignity and value as human beings. Love of self is an expression of self-realization, from which springs humility.

Do I believe that I can love others best when I have gained love of self?

Today I Pray
May God, who loves me, teach me to love myself. May I notice that the most arrogant and officious humans are not so completely sure of themselves, after all. Instead, they are apt to have a painfully low self-image, an insecurity which they cloak in pomp and princely trappings. May God show me that when I can like myself, I am duly crediting Him, since every living thing is a work of God.

Today I Will Remember
I will try to like myself.

*****

One More Day

Business runs after nobody; people cling to it of their own free will and think that to be busy is proof of happiness. --Lucius Annacus Seneca

Sometimes we need to keep busy just to fill time. After a loss or health change, we may have great amounts of time to fill. We may turn to busy work --- work having no significance but marking time as we move toward yet another adjustment. Tool-shop organizing, closet cleaning, and other tasks might be ploys we need, emotionally, to perform in rote fashion.
When we are adjusting, we may need to be busy ---- to think, to decide on new plans of action, and to move forward. We won't need busy work, and we'll be able to make gains again. As we make our adjustments, very, very, slowly, the purpose of our lives will return.

I will put effort into my days to find meaning. It may be difficult to stay busy, but I can do it.

October 22

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Sometimes it takes a rainy day just to let you know, everything's gonna be alright. --Cris Williamson
Rainy days let us slow down. We are busy people, driving ourselves to go places and get things done. But rain seems to slow life down, even in our hearts. And slowing down can show us the peace in our lives, the peace of knowing we have all we need right inside us. The pressures of the world can drop away for a time while we reflect.
As the rain soaks into the ground, its serenity enters our hearts. Leaves on trees begin to look more green. Plants and flowers are no longer thirsty. When we slow down, we can be comforted by what we have in our hearts, knowing everything is going to be all right.
What comfort can I find within myself right now?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Self-righteousness is a loud din raised to drown the voice of guilt within us. --Eric Hoffer
A holier-than-thou attitude within us is often a sign of unconscious dishonesty. Who hasn't had the feeling of being superior to the angry outburst or the near slip of another man - and then found himself in the very same spot the next day? What we least want to admit about ourselves is what we are most likely to feel self-righteous about.
Since our blind spots and self-deception leave us vulnerable to returning to old behaviors, we must attack them vigorously. The man we feel most self-righteous toward may be the man we could learn the most from. When we stop focusing on him, we may notice he touches our most sensitive area. We're all creatures of God and equals in God's sight. The ways we create inequality are the ways we fall short of God's wisdom.
I will use my self-righteous feelings to point me to my own blind spots.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Children awaken you own sense of self when you see them hurting, struggling, testing; when you watch their eyes and listen to their hearts. Children are gifts, if we accept them. --Kathleen Tierney Crilly
Children look to us and their world with fresh eyes, uncynical attitudes, open hearts. They react spontaneously to the events in their lives; what they feel is who they are.
Close observation of children can help us. See how complex we have made our lives! Their simple honesty can serve us well. To look at the world, once again, with wonder, is a byproduct offered us when we live the principles of this program.
So many gifts await us when we accept the program and its principles. We dispense with the baggage of the past. We learn to live this day only. And we come to believe that there is a power greater than ourselves that has everything and us in our lives under control. Children instinctively trust those who take care of them. We can learn to trust, once again, when we apply the Steps of this program to our lives.
I will look to this day with wonder and trust. Everything is okay. I am in the care of a power greater.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Holding Your Own
Trust yourself. Trust what you know.
Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust what we know, especially when others would try to convince us otherwise.
In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt and shame. They may have their own agenda. They may be immersed in denial. They would like us to believe that we do not know what we know; they would like us not to trust ourselves; they would prefer to engage us in their nonsense.
We don't have to forfeit our truth or our power to others. That is codependency.
Believing lies is dangerous. When we stop trusting our truth, when we repress our instincts, when we tell ourselves there must be something wrong with us for feeling what we feel or believing what we believe, we deal a deadly blow to our self and our health.
When we discount that important part of ourselves that knows what is the truth, we cut ourselves off from our center. We feel crazy. We get into shame, fear, and confusion. We can't get our bearings when we allow someone to pull the rug from under us.
This does not mean that we are never wrong. But we are not always wrong.
Be open. Stand in our truth. Trust what you know. And refuse to buy into denial, nonsense, bullying, or coercion that would like to take you off course.
Ask to be shown the truth, clearly - not by the person trying to manipulate or convince you, but by yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe.
Today, I will trust my truth, my instincts, and my ability to ground myself in reality. I will not allow myself to be swayed by bullying, manipulating, games, dishonesty, or people with peculiar agendas.


Today I pray for the knowledge of God's Will for me and the power to carry it through. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Heal Your Past


Open your heart to the universe. Let it bring you love and comfort. Let it bring you healing. Let it take you back to your past long enough to heal, so you can move forward into joy.

Universal love can bring something other than straightforward movement. Sometimes it takes us backward into our past and leaves us there long enough to heal. An incident occurs, and we react strongly; our emotions are more intense than necessary for the present moment. We may not notice. We may think, This is now; this is how I'm feeling about what's happening today. But as we become more aware, some part of us says, I'm feeling something from yesterday,too, something I wasn't safe rnough to see and feel then.

Let yourself feel your past. Then let yourself heal. Take responsibility for your behaviors. Let the emotions clear. Then you will see what the universe has done. It has just created a healing scenario for you-- a gentle trigger to the past, a gentle step forward for your heart.

*****

more language of letting go
Be aware of your heroes

Heroes and mentors can inspire and teach us to do great things in our lives. They can help point us in the right direction whenr we're unsure. They can bring us just the right message, at just the right time. Usually we can find someone who has walked the path before us, and can lead us with his or her example. The problem comes when he or she stops being a mentor to us and becomes an idol instead. If we spend too much time revering an individual, we can easily lose sight of the message.

Take a look at the people in your life that you have chosen as mentors, heroes, sponsors, or teachers. Appreciate all the help they give you. But be aware that they don't and can't have all the answers. They're human,too. They to have blind spots, prejudices, and their own lessons to go through. And yes, they'll make mistakes. But if their hearts are true, they'll come back to the path. And if your heart is true, maybe you'll be a light helping guide them there.

Listen to your mentors. Respect then for who they are. Be grateful for the inspiration and messages that come through them to you. But don;t worship your heroes.

Learn to think for yourself as well.

God, help me remember that it's the message, not the messenger, that counts. Thank you for my heroes, teachers, and mentors, but help me remember not to lift them up too high.

*****

Spiritualizing the Planet
Ascension

by Madisyn Taylor

As we ascend, we gain consciousness of the more subtle aspects of our being and begin to connect with all that is.


We are one with the cosmos whether we realize it or not. Realizing it, though, quickens our spiritual energy and allows us access to higher realms. In those higher realms lies the awareness that we are more than just finite physical beings living one life in one place at one point in time. Connecting with this awareness is to awaken to the truth and take a step forward, and upward, on our soul’s journey. This upward movement is known as ascension because the more we remember who we are and embody that truth, the higher our energy vibrates; we ascend up the scale from the gross physical plane to the subtle spiritual plane. As we ascend, we gain consciousness of the more subtle aspects of our being, with the ultimate outcome being a complete identification with the light body, an experience of unification with the cosmos.

As you look around you, you will see that many people are not even interested in these ideas. Others are open and paying attention. Still others have devoted their lives to deepening their understanding of the truth. All these people are on the path of ascension, but they will ascend at different rates. Each soul chooses its own path. The more devoted a person is to remembering and being guided by spirit, the more quickly the soul will ascend. These people are at the forefront of an important process of raising the energetic vibration of the whole planet. The earth, made of the same energy we are, is undergoing this shift along with us. This evolutionary process, while seemingly chaotic at times, is as natural as the process that unfolds a flower from a seed and we are all part of it.

It shouldn’t be forgotten that the earth too is on her own ascension path as she is sentient. The best way to support this process in yourself and in the world is simply to relax and be open to its unfolding. Listen to your inner guidance, and let it guide you to the path that brings your heart the most joy. Published with permission Daily OM

*****

A Day at a Time
Oct. 22

Reflection for the Day
"Not all those who know their minds know their hearts as well," wrote LaRochefoucauld. The Program is of inestimable value for those of us, formerly addicted, who want to know ourselves and who are courageous enough to seek growth through self-examination and self-improvement. If I remain honest, open-minded and willing, The Program will enable me to rid myself of my self-deceptive attitudes and character flaws that for so long prevented me from growing into the kind of person I want to be.

Do I try to help others understand The Program and Twelve Steps? Do I carry the message by example?

Today I Pray
I ask God's blessing for the group, which has shown me so much about myself that I was not willing to face on my own. May I have the courage to be confronted and to confront, not only to be honest for honesty's sake - which may be reason enough - but to allow myself and the others in the group to grow in self-knowledge.

Today I Will Remember
We are mirrors of each other.

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One More Day
October 22

This is the bitterest knowledge among men, to have much knowledge but no power.
–Herodotus

We have the power to influence others’ lives only when we share what we have learned. If we fail to or refuse to recognize the value of our knowledge, we force ourselves into a sort of isolation and — worse still — deprive others of our insights.

We know how to handle intricate personal relationships and delicate problems. We have gained the emotional stability to allow ourselves to depend on others and on our Higher Power. We can share this knowledge with others, not to serve our own needs, but to help our fellow human beings.

A loving power is mine when I gently share the knowledge I have with others.

October 23

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. --D. H. Lawrence
Sometimes when we feel sorry for ourselves we will sit alone in our bedroom. We may even feel so down in the dumps that we decide to stay there, indulging in self-pity, thinking about how the world is against us.
However, if we use our imagination to step outside our own point of view for a moment, we might think differently. If we were deer in the forest, we would be thinking about keeping safe from the wolves, and where our next meal would be coming from.
The animals have no time to feel sorry for themselves, they are too busy doing what has to be done to survive, and each thing that happens presents a new survival problem to be solved.
When we feel blue, it helps to keep this in mind. If we have the time to feel down, and can get physically comfortable while doing it, how bad can the problem really be?
In what ways is my life comfortable, easy, and full of love?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Self-knowledge and self-improvement are very difficult for most people. It usually needs great courage and long struggle. --Abraham Maslow
This is a simple program but it isn't easy. We cannot take the principles we learn and thereby possess them as if we were taking a class or reading a book. We need to live them. We can only get this program by participating with others who are also on the journey. Gradually we absorb it into every fiber of our being. This takes time and dedication.
The honesty required is sometimes frightening and painful. Any man who remains faithful to this program has great courage and deserves deep respect. But we do not have to wait long to begin receiving the rewards. New freedoms, good feelings, and friendships quickly develop, and we are promised in this program to continue growing and to receive more benefits throughout our lives. What rewards have come from our courage and struggle?
I will give much to my spiritual growth because it gives much to me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
...words are more powerful than perhaps anyone suspects, and once deeply engraved in a child's mind, they are not easily eradicated. --May Sarton
How burdened we became, as little girls, with the labels applied by parents, teachers, even school chums. We believe about ourselves what others teach us to believe. The messages aren't always overt. But even the very subtle ones are etched in our minds, and they remind us of our "shortcomings" long into adulthood.
Try as we might to forget the criticisms, the names, they linger in our memories and influence our self-perceptions as adults. The intervening years have done little to erase whatever emotional scars we acquired as children.
Our partnership with God will help us understand that we are spiritual beings with a wonderful purpose in this life. And we are as lovely, as capable, as successful as we perceive ourselves to be. Our own thoughts and words, our own labels can become as powerful as those of our youth. It takes practice to believe in ourselves. But we can break the past's hold on us.
My higher power will help me know the real me. I am all that I ever needed to be; I am special, and I will come to believe that.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Morning Cues
There is an important message for us first thing every day.
Often, once we get started with the day, we may not listen as closely to life and ourselves as we do in those still moments when we first awaken.
An ideal time to listen to ourselves is when we are laying quietly, our defenses are down, and we're open and most vulnerable.
What is the first feeling that floods through us, the feeling that perhaps we are trying to avoid during the business of the day? Are we angry, frustrated, hurt, or confused? That is what we need to focus on and work through. That's the issue we need to address.
When you awaken, what is the first idea or thought that enters your mind? Do you need to finish a timely project? Are you in need of a fun day? A restful day?
Do you feel sick and need to nurture yourself? Are you in a negative frame of mind? Do you have an issue to resolve with someone?
Do you need to tell someone something? Is something bothering you? Is something feeling particularly good?
Does an idea occur to you, something you could get or do that would feel good?
When you awaken, what is the first issue that presents itself? You don't have to be fearful. You don't have to rush. You can lay still and listen and then accept the message.
We can define some of our recovery goals for the day by listening to the morning message.
God, help me let go of my need to be in resistance to the harmonic flow of life. Help me learn to go with the flow and accept the help and support that You have to offer me.


God is guiding me with every step and every breath I take today. All I have to do is wake up, ask for help guidance and knowledge to a power greater than myself, and trust that I will know what to do. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 23
Cherish Joy

Choose joy. Then cherish and savor it.

Joy is not a fleeting emotion based on outward sircumstances, a transitory feeling of the moment, a reaction to the scenery around you. It comes from within your heart like a waterfall that rushes out the side of a mountain. Joy is a runoff from the wellspring within you. And sometimes it is a delightful, surprising contrast to the scenery around you.

Embrace joy. Relish it. Even if those around you don’t have it right now, you can feel your joy. You don’t have to be disrespectful of their feelings, nor do you have to let their lack of joy diminish yours.

You have done your work. You have chosen to open your heart. Now you have your reward

Cherish joy. It’s your treasure. You’ve found it. You’ve earned it. It’s yours.

*****

more language of letting go
Find and respect your own stride

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old: seek what they sought.
--Basho

One of the dangers of following a hero is the temptation to emulate them too much instead of walking our own path. John quit his job and started his own company when he was twenty-four years old. Five years later he sold out for millions of dollars. We want to be like John so we try the same thing and go broke. What happened? Is the universe against us? No. We just got confused about the difference between learning from a hero and trying to walk his path. John's path may have led him to start a company; your path may also lead you on that course, just not at the same time in your life.

We can still learn much from our heroes and the people we admire. Just be aware that their path and time frame may be different from ours.

When the time comes for you to start that business, learn a new skill, enter into a relationship, or whatever you're hoping to do, the experience will be there. The experience will be ready for you when you're ready for it. Your timing may be different from everyone else's.

I know people who got married after knowing each other only two weeks and then stayed mostly happily married for more than thirty years. I know people who date each other for years and still can't decide if they're ready to commit. My friend made the transition from living in the Midwest to living in California in months. That transition took me several years.

We each have our own stride and path. And while many of our lessons are similar, each of us is unique. If we spend our time trying to emulate a person rather than an idea, we'll at best be an inferior version of our teacher and at worst will never discover our own path. Their stride will be too long or too short for us, and we won't learn the true lesson, which is to trust our inner guide.

Gautama Buddha found enlightenment while sitting under a banyan tree; Milarepa found it while living as a hermit in a Himalayan cave. Gaining enlightenment isn't an exercise in following a person; it's an exercise in following your heart.

God, help me let go of any expectations of perfection I may have of myself or others. Help me be aware of the messages you send me, then help me discern my own truth.

*****

Opening to Understanding
Willingness to Feel

We must be willing to dive deep and feel, really feel what is underneath. This is where you will be set free.


There are times when we may find ourselves struggling or even fighting with our thoughts and emotions. We may feel that something must be done in a certain way or not at all, or there may be some other situation that feels absolutely black and white. But life is not this way—it's the way we are looking at our experiences that is causing the turmoil within us. When we become aware that the struggle we are having is with ourselves, we can turn our attention to the source in order to solve the problem, but we must be being willing to look where we need to and feel emotions that may make us uncomfortable at first. Then we can choose to really open ourselves to understanding all the options we can imagine. We are likely to discover that we are resisting something based on a limited understanding, and we must then open ourselves to willingness.

When we are willing to look at all the possibilities, we also become willing to accept that there is room for more than we can imagine. We can release ourselves from the grip we had on our emotions and stop limiting ourselves. We may have been unwilling to experience feeling loss, confusion, fear, or even joy for some reason or another, but when we realize that our understanding was limited we allow space for the universe to move in our lives.

Opening ourselves to willingness may feel like we are surrendering or abandoning all that we believed. But at the same time it is an act of power and courage because it is a conscious choice we make about how to apply our personal will. Being willing is to be in a state of willing something into creation. It is at once allowing ourselves to be while also choosing to direct our energy in a focused way. It is being and doing from a place of openness, where we can work with the universe rather than resist it. It is an open hand rather than one that is clenched into a fist. When we make a step toward willingness, we open ourselves to truth, possibility, and the movement of the wise universe in and through our lives. Published with permission from Daily OM

************************************

A Day At A Time
October 23

Reflection For The Day

“One’s own self is well hidden from one’s own self,” a renowned philosopher once wrote. “of all mines of treasure, one’s own is the last to be dug up.” The Twelve Steps have enabled me to unearth my “own self,” the one that for so long was buried beneath my desperate need for approval from others. Thanks to The Program and my Higher Power, I’ve begun acquiring a true sense of self and a comfortable sense of confidence. No longer do I have to react chameleon like, changing my coloration from one moment to the next, fruitlessly trying to bee all things to all people. Do I strive, at all time, to be true to myself?

Today I Pray

I pray that I may be honest with myself, and that I will continue — with the help of God and my friends — to try to get to know the real me. May I know that I cannot suddenly be a pulled-together, totally defined, completely consistent personality; it may take a while to develop into that personality, to work out my values and my priorities. May I know now that I have a good start on being who I want to be.

Today I Will Remember

I’m getting to be who I want to be.

************************************

One More Day
October 23

The more passionately we love life, the more intensely we experience the joy of life.
– Jurgen Moltman

While we would occasionally like to hide from the real-life drama around us, we know it’s not a healthy way to live. Instead we live the drama, love it, cry with it, and at times even hate it.

Choosing to live life on its terms brings enthusiasm and passion into our experiences. Our decisions to love life – despite the highs and lows — allows us to delight in the highs and to accept the lows as unavoidable, but momentary, setbacks. Although hiding from reality can sometimes insulate us from pain, it also blinds us to the joys of wonderment and living fully.

I choose to be enthusiastic about my life.

October 24

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Before he closed his eyes, he let them wander around his old room. . .familiar and friendly things. . .which were so glad to see him again and could always be counted on for the same simple welcome. --Kenneth Grahame
When they moved into the house, the room at the top of the stairs was just a junk room. As the years passed, they slowly transformed the room into a guest room.
When they decided they needed another voice in the house, they transformed the room again; out went the fold-out couch, in came a crib and rocking chair; off went the art gallery prints from the walls, up went Winnie the Pooh. t was no longer a guest room, but a place for the baby, a new --- and permanent --- member of the family.
We always have room for more in our lives. When we are ready for it, what we need for growth will emerge.
What do the rooms inside our homes and ourselves have to tell us about the way we live our lives?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Becoming nothing before God, learn to keep silent; in this silence is the beginning, which is first to seek God's kingdom.
--Soren Kierkegaard
So many devastating things can bring us to our knees. With experience we learn that pain and trouble are part of life. Most of us have fought against everyday realities as if they were our personal enemies. We accepted every challenge, thinking we had to be winners every time. Today we may feel broken by the loss of a love, by a disappointing job experience, or by our powerlessness over a loved one.
In our brokenness we find our true humanity. It is the beginning of our spiritual awakening. As men we thought surrender was a word for losers and weaklings. Living this program teaches us that accepting our brokenness opens us to a new kind of wholeness. After we acknowledge we are not in control of every event in our lives, and after admitting our addiction and codependency have controlled us, we come alive inside with the rich new experience of being a person.
God help me today to learn the spiritual lesson contained in my frustrations and grief.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The universal human yearning [is] for something permanent, enduring, without shadow of change. --Willa Cather
The specter of change builds dread in most of us. We fear the effects on our personal lives. We lack faith that the impending change will benefit us. Only time can assure us of that. And it will, just as every change we've survived up to now has done.
Changes are gifts, really. They come as hallmarks to our present attainments. They signify successful growth. How we struggle to understand this, and how quickly we forget it once we have adapted to the change. The struggle is then repeated the next time change visits us.
We long for permanence, believing it guarantees security, not realizing the only real security available to us comes with our trust in God, from whom all change comes as a blessing on the growth we've attained. If we were to experience total lack of change, we'd find death. Life is challenge, continued change, always endurable and growth-enhancing. We can reflect on what's gone before, and trust that which faces us now.
Change means I am progressing, on course.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Opening ourselves to love.
Open ourselves to the love that is available to us.
We do not have to limit our sources of love. God and the Universe have an unlimited supply of what we need, including love.
When we are open to receiving love, we will begin to receive it. It may come from the most surprising places, including from within ourselves.
We will be open to and aware of the love that is and has been there for us all along. We will feel and appreciate the love from friends. We will notice and enjoy the love that comes to us from family.
We will be ready to receive love in our special love relationships too. We do not have to accept love from unsafe people -- people who will exploit us or with whom we don't want to have relationships.
But there is plenty of good love available -- love that heals our heart, meets our needs, and makes our spirit sing.
We have denied ourselves too long. We have been martyrs too long. We have given so much and allowed ourselves to receive too little. We have paid our dues. It is time to continue the chain of giving and receiving by allowing ourselves to receive.
Today' I will open myself to the love that is coming to me from the Universe. I will accept it and enjoy it when it comes.


Today I find healthy ways to express my anger and resentments so that I can be free of them. Today I empty myself of all anger and resentments so that I can let love come into my heart. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 24
Share Your Heart with the World

Share your heart with the world. Share willingly, openly, joyfully what you have seen, what you have learned.

Don’t tell people how you think you should have handled things. That’s shame. It teaches others to feel ashamed,too. Don’t tell people how you wish you had handled things. That’s needless regret that we pass on to others.

Share honestly and openly about yourself, the way you felt, the things you thought. Share how going through your experience changed you. Talk about your resistance, your pain, the imperfect way you did things, the way you handle things now.

Sharing honestly and openly teaches people aroud us the most helpful truth– that the imperfect way we live our lives is right for us at the time. When we love and accept ourselves enough to honestly share who we are, it helps those we touch to believe that they’re good anough,too.

Share your heart with the world and you will bring healing to those you touch.

*****

more language of letting go
What you see isn't always what you get

I was walking through the mall when I saw a photo booth at one of the kiosks. A large green screen hung as a backdrop and the photographer had her subjects stand in front of it in various poses. After taking the photo, she used a computer to paste it into a scene. You might then look like an alligator wrestler, a snowboarder, a hapless adventurer getting run over by his jeep.

What you see is not always what you get. People are not always what they seem. It's easy for others to paint an inaccurate picture either to impress or manipulate us into doing what they want us to do. Understand that while many, even most, of the people in your life will be honest, there will be those who will paint a false picture. They will claim to have experiemce that you don't; they will claim to know the secret of how to live your life; they will claim to be something they're not. They will try to use their self-exalted position to control and manipulate you.

Be aware of people who would manipulate you by pasting themselves into a false background or scene. Don't just take things at face value. Take your time, as much time as you need, to see what the real background is.

Most of us get misled from time to time. Sometimes people con us. Other times we trick ourselves. Let go of naivete.

God, if I start getting conned or manipulated, please show me and help me see the truth.

*****

Avoiding the Center
Hovering Around the Sun

by Madisyn Taylor

Quiet time each day is so important, but many are so out of practice that it’s almost unnerving to be in stillness.


It’s funny to imagine our lives as something we spend a lot of time avoiding, because it seems like that would be impossible to do. Our lives consist of everything we engage in, from showering to sleeping, but also a lot of busy work that distracts us and keeps us from looking at our lives. Experiencing our life from the inside means taking time each day to simply be alone and quiet in the presence of our soul. Many of us are so out of practice that it’s almost unnerving to have a moment to ourselves. As a result, we may have stopped trying to carve out that time to take a seat at the center of our lives.

One of the reasons it can be uncomfortable to sit with ourselves is because when we do, we tend to open ourselves to an inner voice, which might question the way we’re living or some of the choices we’re making. Sometimes the voice reminds us of our secret, inner yearnings, dreams we thought we had forgotten. When we already feel overwhelmed by our busy schedules, the idea of hearing this voice can be exhausting. However, its reflections are the chords that connect us to our authentic selves, and they are the very things that make our lives worth living. When we continually avoid connecting with our life, we risk losing out on the very purpose of our existence.

To begin the process of being more present and less absent in your life, you might want to set aside just a few minutes each day to simply sit with yourself. This doesn't mean watching a movie or reading a book, but taking time each day for self-examination to avoid the avoidance, to be with yourself in an open way. After a while, you may start to enjoy this part of the day so much that you make less busy work for yourself, so that you can spend more time at the center of your own life, rather than hovering like a planet around the sun.

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A Day At A Time
October 24

Reflection For The Day

So many of us in The Program went through childhood — as well as part of our adult lives — emotionally shackled with the terrible burden called shyness. We found it difficult to walk into crowded rooms, to converse with even our friends, to make eye contact with anyone. The agonies we suffered! We learn in The Program that shyness is just another manifestation of self-centered fear, which is the root of all our character defects. Shyness, specifically, is fear of what others think or might think about us. To our enormous relief, our shyness gradually leaves us as we work The Program and interact with others. Am I aware that I’m okay as long as I don’t concentrate on me?

Today I Pray

God, may I be grateful that I am getting over my shyness, after years of pulling back from people, squirming, blushing, blurting out all the “wrong things” or blurting out all the sayings nothing at all — then reliving the agonies and imagining what I should have said and done. May I know that it has taken a full-blown addiction and a lot of caring people to convince me that I’m Okay — and you’re Okay, he’s Okay, and so is she.

Today I Will Remember

A cure for shyness is caring about someone else.



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One More Day
October 24

We conceal it from oursleves in vain — we must always hav esomething.
–Blaise Pascal

Not knowing how to love may imperil our very existence. Although love doesn’t literally nourish our bodies, not being able to love strips us of our humanness.

Romantic love is only one part of our capacity to love, for there is also the ability to love our friends, family, and our fellow human beings. The ripple effect of our well-being will spread, both within us and from us, and we will begin to nourish our souls as well.

We also learn to love ourselves — all that we are. Self-love enhances our self-image. A strong sense of esteem enhances our entire lives.

I need to love and be loved. It is essential to my psychic well-being that I understand the importance of loving.

October 25

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I love him and I cannot seem to find him. --Ovid
Where can we find the ones we love? Do they always live in our world, or do we have to go out of our way? They often are not at home; we can find them at their work. Their play is different from ours; we could try having their kind of fun.
Too often, we look only for friends who are much like ourselves, and we tend to avoid those who are not. This kind of narrow-mindedness isn't fair to others or ourselves. We are each unique, like the pieces of a puzzle. We are each necessary to the whole picture.
When we go out of our way to know someone else better, we stretch our own boundaries; we give ourselves new space in which to grow.
What part of my life can I discover in someone new today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The wild geese do not intend to cast their reflection; the water has no mind to receive their image. --Zenrin poem
There are moments which simply happen through no conscious intention or will on anyone's part. The image of an old woman with a peaceful face, the smell of smoke rising from a chimney on a chilly night, the knowing look of recognition from a friend as we make a comment, the special feeling of a touch. These are spiritual moments because they reach a deeper part of our being. They are like a sliver in time set aside which nourishes our souls and adds serenity to our lives.
We grow when we learn to notice these kinds of moments. In our willfulness, we have often missed them before because we simply were not open to anything we weren't already looking for. This world is so much larger than the human mind. In recovery, we can take time to admire the beauty reflected around us.
Today, I will let the rest of life intrude upon my mind. I will let myself be nourished by what comes along.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Love has the quality of informing almost everything--even one's work. --Sylvia Ashton-Warner
We are changed through loving and being loved. Our attitudes are profoundly and positively affected by the presence of love in our lives. Each time we offer a loving response to a friend, co-worker, even a stranger, we powerfully influence the dynamics of the interaction between us.
Every response we make to someone changes us while it informs him or her. When we treat others with disdain, we invite the same. When we express only criticism of others, our self-assessment is equally negative. The beauty of a loving posture is that it calls forth love in response. The more love we give away, the more we receive.
Any task before us is lessened when we carry love in our hearts. Love is more powerful than fear. Love helps to open the channel to God, assuring us of the strength, the understanding, and the patience needed to complete any assignment confronting us.
God loves me, unconditionally. And I will experience the reality of that love the more I give it away. Love wants to change me--and it can.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of the Past
... in thy book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me when as yet there was none of them. --Ps. 139:16
Some people believe that each of our days were planned, Divinely Ordered, before we were born. God knew, they say, and planned exactly what was to transpire.
Others suggest we chose, we participated in planning our life - the events, the people, the circumstances that were to take place, in order to work through our issues and learn the lessons we needed to master.
Whatever our philosophy, our interpretation can be similar: Our past is neither an accident nor a mistake. We have been where we needed to be, with the necessary people. We can embrace our history, with its pain, its imperfections, and its mistakes, even its tragedies. It is uniquely ours; it was intended just for us.
Today, we are right where we need to be. Our present circumstances are exactly as they need to be - for now.
Today, I will let go of my guilt and fear about my past and present circumstances. I will trust that where I have been and where I am now are right for me.


No matter how busy I think I am, I will share a part of me with someone else today. I am discovering the joy of giving and I will take the time to stop and share a part of me. I am learning to trust the positive and loving people. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 25
Replenish Yourself

Some of us don’t know how tired we are until we try to relax. Then we realize we’re exhausted.

We may have lived with exhaustion and stress so long it’s become habitual. That doesn’t mean we’re bad or wrong, or even off track. Many of us are deeply involved in activities, work, projects, and relationships we enjoy. We like our lives and the things we’re doing. But sometimes we’ve pushed too hard or too long. Sometimes we haven’t given our bodies adequate time to relax, to rest, to really let go.

It’s all right to take time out. Relax. Refresh. Regroup. It’s all right to rest even if we’re busy, rest often enough to keep ourselves replenished. Get in touch with your body, then stay in touch with yourself.

Find out how tired you are. Then let your body tell you what it needs to come back to life and love.

*****

more language of letting go
Stop tricking yourself

Even the best of us get tricked from time to time. Someone comes along and impresses us with magic. Later we discover it wasn't magic, just illusions.

Sometimes the issue isn't that people were trying to trick us. We tricked ourselves. We saw what we wanted to see, regardless of what reality was. Then, when reality started to creep in, we told ourselves if we held our breath and didn't feel our feelings and hoped long and hard enough, reality would change.

We don't have to get mad at ourselves when we get tricked, even if we've fooled ourselves. We need to see and acknowledge the truth and become aware of what reality is.

Don't let our embarrassment over finding yourself in a bad situation cloud your view of yourself. Sometimes all we need to do is acknowledge the truth, including the truth about how we feel. In a few days or a few months, the solution will become clear.

When all the illusions drop away, that's when real magic begins. You'll be guided along your path.

God, help me remember that when I admit and accept the truth, I'll be given the power and guidance to change.

*****

Big Steps On Life's Path
Being Aware is the First Step

by Madisyn Taylor

There is freedom that comes with awareness, because with it comes the opportunity to make a choice.


Life is a journey comprised of many steps on our personal path that takes us down a winding road of constant evolution. And each day, we are provided with a myriad of opportunities that can allow us to transform into our next best selves. One moment we are presented with an opportunity to react differently when yet another someone in our life rubs us the wrong way; on another day we may find ourselves wanting to walk away from a particular circumstance but are not sure if we can. Eventually, we may find ourselves stuck in a rut that we can never seem to get out of. We may even make the same choices over and over again because we don’t know how to choose otherwise. Rather than moving us forward, our personal paths may take us in a seemingly never-ending circle where our actions and choices lead us nowhere but to where we’ve already been. It is during these moments that awareness can be the first step to change.

Awareness is when we are able to realize what we are doing. We observe ourselves, noticing our reactions, actions, and choices as if we were a detached viewer. Awareness is the first step to change because we can’t make a change unless we are aware that one needs to be made in the first place. We can then begin understanding why we are doing what we are doing. Afterward, it becomes difficult not to change because we are no longer asleep to the truth behind our behaviors. We also begin to realize that, just as much as we are the root source behind the causes for our behaviors, we are also the originator for any changes that we want to happen.

There is a freedom that comes with awareness. Rather than thinking that we are stuck in a repetitive cycle where there is no escape, we begin to see that we very much play a hand in creating our lives. Whether we are aware of them or not, our behaviors and choices are always ours to make. Our past and our present no longer have to dictate our future when we choose to be aware. We are then free to move beyond our old limits, make new choices, and take new actions. With awareness, our paths can’t help but wind us forward in our lives while paving the way for new experiences and new ways of being. It is through awareness that we can continue to consciously evolve. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
October 25

Reflection For The Day

My addictions were like thieves in more ways than I can count. They robbed me not only of money, property and other material things, but of dignity and self-respect, while my family and friends suffered right along with me. My addictions also robbed me of the ability to treat myself properly, as God would treat me. Today, in total contrast, I’m capable of true love of self — to the extent that I’m able to provide myself with more love than even I need. So I give that love away to other people in The Program, just as they have given their love to me. Do I thank God for their love to me. Do I thank God for bringing me to a Program in which sick people are loved back to health?

Today I Pray

Thanks be to God for a way of life which generates such love and caring that we in The Program can’t help but learn to love ourselves. When I see that someone cares about me, I am more apt to be convinced that perhaps I am, after all, worth caring about. May I be conscious always of the love I am now able to give — and give it.

Today I Will Remember

Someone caring about me makes me feel worth caring about.

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One More Day
October 25

The more things you love, the more you are interested in, the more you enjoy, the more you have left when anything happens.
–Ethel Barrymore

Now is a good time for us to pursue our interest and to nurture both new and old relationships. We understands so well how easily and quickly our circumstances can change. This understanding nudges us to expand our experience.

No one of us is immune from the troubles of life. Whether the problem is loss of a job or loss of a home, good health, or a dear friend, we all suffer at one time or another. Keeping our lives as full as possible with the love of good people and the challenge of activities provides support even when times get tough.

Tragedies and hard times will affect me, but I know I have the ability to move on.

October 26

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Whoever is happy will make others happy, too. --Anne Frank
Anne Frank had good reason to be unhappy, full of fear, and deeply discouraged. Years of her life were spent in a small apartment hiding from the Nazis who wanted to destroy her and her family. Yet even in this little hiding place she had happiness. It was something she had inside which did not depend on what happened around her. She had riches of the heart. She had faith that kept her going. She had love and concern for her family and others, which made even a restricted life very rich with feelings. It is tempting to believe that we will be happy when we have something outside ourselves, which will make us happy. But happiness is not something we have to find outside; the seeds are in our hearts already.
What happiness can I find in my latest setback?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of human life when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will never sit. --D. Elton Trueblood
Our lives are enriched by the contributions of those who lived before us. Many men and women gave more than they ever took from society, and now we enjoy the rewards. Some people were fired with a spirit to beautify the world and planted trees that will live for 200 years. Others wrote music that speaks to us from another generation, and others established a government that guides our principles of justice. They gave so much because they knew they were a part of their community and the world.
Most of us cannot make the great contributions that will make us famous, but we enrich our lives when we contribute freely to improving our community and the world. We do that when we simply say hello to our neighbor, when we serve on a volunteer cleanup committee for a local park, and when we do Twelfth Step work in the program. We too have beautified and contributed to the world, and that gives us a feeling of peace and self-respect.
Today, I will appreciate all that comes freely to me from others, and I will give what I can to make the world a better place.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue, an everlasting vision of the ever-changing view. --Carole King
Every event of our lives is contributing a rich thread to our personal tapestry. Each of us is weaving one unique to ourselves, but all of our tapestries are complementary. We need others' rich designs in order to create our own.
We seldom have the foresight to understand the worth, the ultimate value of a particular circumstance at its beginning. But hindsight offers us clarity. It's good to reflect on the many circumstances that failed to thrill us; in all cases we can now see why we needed them. As our trust in God and the goodness of all experiences grows, we'll more quickly respond with gladness when situations are fresh. No experience is meant for harm. We are coming to understand that, even though on occasion we forget.
Practicing gratitude will help us more fully appreciate what has been offered us. Being grateful influences our attitude; it softens our harsh exterior and takes the threat out of most new situations.
If I greet the day, glad to be alive, I will be gladdened by all the experiences in store for me. Each is making a necessary contribution to my wholeness.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Clarity
I know better than to not trust God., But sometimes, I forget that.
When we are in the midst of an experience, it is easy to forget that there is a Plan. Sometimes, all we can see is today.
If we were to watch only two minutes of the middle of a television program, it would make little sense. It would be a disconnected event.
If we were to watch a weaver sewing a tapestry for only a few moments, and focused on only a small piece of the work, it would not look beautiful. It would look like a few peculiar threads randomly placed.
How often we use that same, limited perspective to look at our life - especially when we are going through a difficult time.
We can learn to have perspective when we are going through those confusing, difficult learning times. When we are being pelted by events that make us feel, think, and question, we are in the midst of learning something important.
We can trust that something valuable is being worked out in us - even when things are difficult, even when we cannot get our bearings. Insight and clarity do not come until we have mastered our lesson.
Faith is like a muscle. It must be exercised to grow strong. Repeated experiences of having to trust what we can't see and repeated experiences of learning to trust that things will work out are what makes our faith muscles grow strong.
Today, I will trust that the events in my life are not random. My experiences are not a mistake. The Universe, my Higher Power, and life are not picking on me. I am going through what I need to go through to learn something valuable, something that will prepare me for the joy and love I am seeking.


I am learning to trust the positive and loving people in my life today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 26
Let the World Help You Open Up

The universe is gentle, loving, benevolent, full of gifts, full of life, full of love. Don’t worry if you feel scared, or if you feel yourself closing down to life’s magic. That feeling won’t last long. It won’t last forever.

Take a walk. Touch a tree, hug it until your fear subsides. Feel the earth under your feet. Watch a sunrise. Ask the universe and God to help you open up. Say it aloud. Then watch what happens. Go where your heart leads, where your inner voice directs you to go. You will find yourself in circumstances that bring you back to your heart.

The universe will help you open up. It will do all it can, lovingly, gently, and with care. It will teach you all you need to know, help you learn all you came here to learn. It will guide you and lead you, open doors and shut windows, until you reach your destination– an open heart and a soul aligned with love.

*****

more language of letting go
Be aware of how you feel

What happened today? How did you feel about it?

Just like all those stuffed feelings from childhood that we could nor deal with then, any feelings that we repress or deny today don't go away. They linger in our energy field until we give them their due. Sometimes these repressed feelings block our view of the truth.

For many of us, resisting our feelings is an ancient pattern and a habitual way of life. Take your time to debrief from your day, but don't just say what you did and what you liked. Say how you felt about each thing that occurred.

You might make a discovery that surprises even you. You don't necessarily have to tell the other person how you feel, but you might. For certain, you at least need to tell yourself.

Today is just a simple reminder of something you already know. Be aware each day of what happens. And be aware of how you feel.

God, help me remember that it's okay to be who I am and feel what I feel, No matter what those feelings are. Remind me when I believe my feelings are a nuisance that they're the key to my power.

*****

Hard Learned Lessons
Bad Days

by Madisyn Taylor

We all have bad days and within these days is usually a gem of a gift waiting to be opened.


We all have days from time to time when it feels like the world is against us or that the chaos we are experiencing will never end. One negative circumstance seems to lead to another. You may wonder, on a bad day, whether anything in your life will ever go right again. But a bad day, like any other day, can be a gift. Having a bad day can show you that it is time to slow down, change course, or lighten up. A bad day can help you glean wisdom you might otherwise have overlooked or discounted. Bad days can certainly cause you to experience uncomfortable feelings you would prefer to avoid, yet a bad day may also give you a potent means to learn about yourself.

You may consider a bad day to be one where you’ve missing an important meeting because your car stalled, the dryer broke, and you received a piece of very bad news earlier in the morning. Multiple misfortunes that take place one after the other can leave us feeling vulnerable and intensely cognizant of our fragility. But bad days can only have a long-term negative effect on us if we let them. It is better to ask yourself what you can learn from these kinds of days. The state of your bad day may be an indicator that you need to stay in and hibernate or let go of your growing negativity.

Bad days contribute to the people we become. Though we may feel discouraged and distressed on our bad days, a bad day can teach us patience and perseverance. It is important to remember that your attitude drives your destiny and that one negative experience does not have to be the beginning of an ongoing stroke of bad luck. A bad day is memorable because it is one day among many good days – otherwise, we wouldn’t even bother to acknowledge it as a bad day. Know too, that everybody has bad days, you are not alone, the world is not against you. Tomorrow is guaranteed to be a brighter day. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
October 26

Reflection For The Day

From time to time when I see the slogan, But for The Grace of God, I remember how I used to mouth those words when I saw others whose addictions had brought them to what I considered a “hopeless and helpless” state. The slogan had long been a cop-out for me, reinforcing my denial of my own addiction by enabling me to point to others seemingly worse off than I. “9if I ever get like that, I’ll quit,” was my on-repeated refrain. Today, instead, But for the Grace of God has become my prayer of thankfulness, reminding me to be grateful to my Higher Power for my recovery, my life, and the way of life I’ve found in The Program. Was anyone ever more “hopeless and helpless: than I?

Today I Pray

May I know that “but for The grace of God.” I could be dead or insane by now, because there have been others who wanted on addictive paths when I did who are no longer here. May that same grace of God help those who are still caught in the downward spin, who are heading for disaster as sure as gravity.

Today I Will Remember

I have seen God’s amazing Grace.

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One More Day
October 26

Don’t part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
– Mark Twain

Even as we approached young adulthood, we clung to our dreams about the future. In those days it may have seemed to us that anything was possible.

It’s not immature to hold on to a dream, even when we know the dream is unlikely to come true. Bald men wish for a full head of hair. Some of us wish we still had young skin. Even through a long-term medical condition has become part of our lives, many of us still hold on to the illusions of our own health being restored.

Now we have a few more years — or decades — behind us. We accept that some things are possible and some are not. Most of us are comfortable with the knowledge. And still we hope.

I hold dearly to many of my illusions. The possibilities of what might occur keep my days full of excitement.

October 27

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Walk. Don't walk. --Traffic Light
Signs direct us on our way in life. Traffic lights tell us to walk (or not), Golden Arches point us to dinner, geese flying south herald the coming winter, flashing neon tells us what to buy. We know how to read these signs of worlds and weather; they help to guide us on our journey.
We can learn to read the signs of human beings, too, to be detectives of the human spirit. Laugh lines around eyes and mouth, the texture of hands, tension in jaws and shoulders can tell much about a person, if we stop to look. All around us are signs that tell us others feel the pain and joy we feel, others need us as we need them, we are understood, and we are not alone.
The marvelous bonus in learning to read these signs in others is that we can begin to let ourselves be read, also.
Will I make good reading for others today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I feel the more I know God, that He would sooner we did wrong in loving than never love for fear we should do wrong.
--Father Andrew
Love has often been called the first rule of a spiritual life. As we awaken to our new life in this program, we learn that all of God's creation is full of objects for us to love. A sunset repeats the creative energy at work in our world today. It appears briefly, invites our love, and slowly fades away, only to be repeated in a new form the next day. The color and markings on a little bug may inspire our love, as may the smell of moist earth, the excitement of a Broadway musical, the craftsmanship of a well-made tool, or the look of warmth on a friend's face. These are all opportunities for us to let go and feel our love.
We men often feel awkward in expressing love. Perhaps we're so self-conscious and guarded that we brace ourselves against saying or doing anything that wouldn't look good. We're learning through our spiritual development to be more fervent lovers and less perfectionistic in love.
I will be renewed today each time I appreciate something near me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Problems have only the size and the power that you give them. --S. H.
We will not be free from all difficulties today, or during any period of our lives. But we have the personal power to eliminate the threat, the sting of any challenge. But it's our vision of circumstances that gives them their interpretation.
At this moment, we are defining our experience. We are labeling events good or bad, valuable or meaningless. And our growth, particularly this day, is greatly influenced by the value judgments we attach to our experiences.
As we grow stronger emotionally and spiritually, we learn that all difficulties are truly opportunities for exceptional growth and increased awareness of the truth of existence. All experiences can be taken in stride if we are trustful of their intended blessing.
We are sharing this life, every moment of it, with a power greater than ourselves. We need not worry about any circumstance. Always we are watched over. We never need struggle alone.
We can let go of our problems. It's ourselves and that attitude we have cultivated that makes any situation a problem. We can turn it loose and therein discover the solution.
I will not make mountains out of the molehills of my life.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Step Eleven
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out. --Step Eleven of Al Anon
"... praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out" means that we ask on a daily basis to be shown the plan for that day. We also ask our Source for the power we need to carry that through. We will get a yes to both requests.
We do not ask other people to show their will for us. We ask God. Then we trust that we'll be empowered to carry God's will through.
God never, never asks us to do anything that He would not equip us to do. He never asks us to do anything we can't do. If we are to do it, we will be empowered. That's the easy part of this program. We never have to do more than we can, or anything we can't. If we want to worry and fuss we can, but we don't need to. That is our choice.
I have learned, through difficult and good times that this Step will carry me through. When I don't know what to do next, God does. Working this Step, one day at a time, will take us to places we could never have traveled on our own. Simple acts, done daily in accordance to God's will for us, lead to a Grand Plan for our life.
Today, I will focus on asking God to show me what He wants me to do. I will ask God for the power to do that; then I will go ahead and get the job done. God, help me let go of my fears about living life one day at a time. Help me trust that when life is lived simply and in trust, a beautiful mosaic called "my life" will be woven. I am being divinely led, guided, and cared for.


Today I practice restraint of tongue and pen and I do not hurt anyone intentionally. Today I give myself time to express myself appropriately. Today I go beyond negative feelings. I act as if I am coming from a place of love. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 27
Have You Been Working Too Hard?

Have you been working too hard at your job, at life, at your spiritual progress? Have you been working too hard on your relationships with people, or trying to gain insights, or on trying to figure out where to go or what to do next?

Many of us have had to work hard. To get from where we were to where we are, we had to push, force, put one foot in front of the other. At least we thought we did. But life doesn’t have to be that hard. Not anymore. The biggest task, the smallest task, the task of living our lives doesn’t have to be that difficult.

There’s a natural rhythm for everything that happens along the way. There’s a natural rhythm and order for all we’re to do. Yes, there are times to begin. Yes, there are times to put one foot in front of the other and go forward. But the joy, the service, the way of life we’re seeking doesn’t come from force. It comes naturally, easily, much more easily than you think. Stop pushing so hard, and see how quickly that rhythm finds you.

You don’t have to make life happen. In fact, you can’t. Relax. Let go. And let it happen.

*****

more language of letting go
Be aware of the illusion of control

Remember how it feels when we try to control someone else.

"I was driving down the road one day behind a car that I decided was driving too slowly," a friend said to me. "I was yelling, raging, and carrying on about the driver in front of me, trying to mentally will him out of my way. I wanted him to move over and let me by.

"While I was driving I observed myself. Then I started to laugh. I wasn't angry about this driver in front of me. I was angry because I was trying to control something that I couldn't change."

Be aware of all your feelings. But also remember to be aware that sometimes it's not the other person that's making us crazy. We're doing it to ourselves.

God, help me be aware of the self-created drama in my life. Help me let go of my need to control. Give me the courage of my feelings. And help me be aware of when my self-will is running riot.

*****

Reviving a Community Tradition
Storytelling by Madisyn Taylor

Most cultures use storytelling to pass down family history using the power and energy of the human voice.

Ever since our ancestors could first communicate, we have gathered to share our stories. We have passed along creation tales and tragic stories of love lost. We have repeated accounts of real heroism and simple stories of family history. When our forebears lived closer to the land and to each other, the practice of storytelling was imbued with ritual and occasion. Members of the tribe would often gather around the fire to hear their genealogy recited aloud by an elder or master storyteller. Listeners could track how their own lives, and the lives of their parents, interwove with the lives of the other tribe members, as everyone’s ancient relatives once played out similar life dramas together.

As a custom, some cultures’ storytellers repeat the same tale over and over because they believe that each time you hear it, you come to the story as a different person and view the plot and characters in a new light. Hearing the story over and over is a way to gauge where you have been and where you are now on your path of personal evolution. It also helps the younger generation learn the stories so that they can pass them to forthcoming generations.

When we hear others tell stories, we can laugh at their humorous adventures, feel the thrill of exciting encounters, see parts of ourselves in them, and learn from the challenges they face. Though most of our formal traditions of storytelling are lost, it does not mean we have to be without. We can begin new practices in our own families of listening to one another, of honoring our own journey, and witnessing the journeys of those around us. We can revive the fireside communal by gathering around the campfire or hearth with family and friends, sharing in stories. By building new practices of storytelling, we give ourselves and the ones we love an opportunity to draw ever closer in our shared human experience. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
October 27

Reflection For The Day

The Program’s Fourth Step suggests that we make a fearless moral inventory of ourselves. For so many of us, especially newcomers, the task seems impossible. Each time we take pencil in hand and try to look inward, Pride says confidingly, “You don’t have to bother to look.” And Fear cautions, “You’d better not look.” We find eventually that this sort of pride and fear are mere wisps of smoke, the cloudy strands from which we woven the mythology of our old ideas. When we push pride and fear aside and finally make a fearless inventory, we experience relief and a new sense of confidence beyond description. Have I made an inventory? Have I shared its rewards so as to encourage others?

Today I Pray

May I not be stalled by my inhibitions when it comes to making a moral inventory of myself. May I not get to the Fourth Step and then screech to a stop because the task seems overwhelming. May I know that my inventory today, even though I try to make it “thorough” and honest, may not be as complete as it will be if I repeat it again, for the process of self-discovery goes on and on.

Today I will Remember

Praise God for Progress.

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One More Day
October 27

Better be alone than in bad company.
–Thomas Fuller

Most of us have had the experience of being befriended by someone who seems to want to spend every waking moment in our company. At first, we may be delighted with the attention and enjoy the excitement of the developing relationship. Then, suddenly we feel smothered. The other person gives us no time along; he or she is such a constant presence that we feel out of touch with ourselves.

We seem to have to choose between crushing our new friend or submitting to the constant intrusion, but first we may need to remind ourselves that we have the right to create the framework of our company is not our choice, we are free to say, “I need more time alone.” This isn’t a rejection of others; it’s an affirmation of ourselves and our need for solitude.

I can find a healthy balance between my time with others and my time alone.

October 28

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I feel no need for any other faith than my faith in human beings. --Pearl S. Buck
We owe each other respect. We cannot expect to be respected if we don't respect others around us. When we respect others, we respect their property and personal belongings as well as their self-esteem and their right to voice an opinion. Respect is a way of cooperating with each other.
We can imagine a submarine where crewmembers did not respect each other's personal belongings or their ability to do the job. The ship would soon stop functioning because of the chaos. In a family we live in close quarters, like a submarine crew. Respect for each other is one of the things, which keeps chaos from breaking out. When we grow in respect for each other's property, abilities, and self-esteem, we soon see how valuable each member of our crew really is.
How can I show respect to those around me today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Often our trust is not full. We are not certain that God hears us because we consider ourselves worthless and as nothing. This is ridiculous and the very cause of our weakness. I have felt this way myself. --Julian of Norwich
Many men do not think they are worthy of recovery. Some of us even fight against our own progress. We can't seem to reconcile our low self-image with all the benefits recovery brings. This is not surprising when we see how many years we lived in self-abusive addictions. We had lifestyles in which we were treated badly by others, we abused ourselves, and we used and abused others. In our insanity, this sometimes felt masculine. Such a life does not prepare us to feel worthy of the good things in recovery. It is ridiculous to continue such pain simply because it's what we have known.
To turn this pattern around, we have to accept our Higher Power's view of us. Our Higher Power accepts us and sees us as deserving the benefits of recovery. We can get out of the way of our recovery by letting go of our unworthy feelings.
Today, I will be open to the benefits of recovery.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The most elusive knowledge of all is self-knowledge. --Mirra Komarovsky
Discovering who we are is an adventure, one that will thrill and sometimes trouble us and will frequently occupy our thoughtful reflections. We are growing and changing as a result of our commitment to the program. And it's that process of commitment that heightens our self-awareness.
We learn who we are by listening to others, by sensing their perceptions of us, by taking an honest, careful inventory of our own behavior. The inner conversations that haunt us while we're interacting with others are poignant guidelines to self-knowledge, self-definition. Just when we think we've figured out who we are and how to handle our flaws, a new challenge will enter our realm of experiences, shaking up all the understandings that have given us guidance heretofore.
It is not an easy task to discover who we really are. It's an even harder job to love and accept the woman we discover. But too many years went by while we avoided or denied or, worse yet, denounced the only person we knew how to be. The program offers us the way to learn about and love fully the person within. Nor will we find the way easy every day. But there's time enough to let the process ease our investigation.
I will be soft and deliberate today as I listen to others and myself.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Meditation and Prayer
The Eleventh Step asks us to meditate as a route to improving our conscious contact with God.
Meditation is different than obsessing or worrying. Obsession and worrying are fear connections. Meditation means opening our mind and our spiritual energy to the God connection.
To connect with God, we need to relax as best we can and open our conscious and subconscious mind to a Higher Consciousness - one that is available to each of us.
In the busyness of our day and life, it may seem like a waste of time to slow down, to stop what we're doing, and take this kind of break. It is no more a waste of time than stopping to put gas in our car when the tank is almost empty. It is necessary, it is beneficial, and it saves time. In fact, meditation can create more time and energy than the moments we take to do it.
Meditation and prayer are powerful recovery behaviors that work. We need to be patient. It is not reasonable to expect immediate answers, insight, or inspiration.
But solutions are coming. They are already on the way, if we have done our part - meditate and pray - and then let the rest go.
Whether we pray and meditate first thing in the morning, during a coffee break, or in the evening is our choice.
When our conscious contact with God improves, our subconscious contact will too. We will find ourselves increasingly tuned in to God's harmony and will for us. We will find and maintain that soul connection, the God connection.
Today, I will take a moment for meditation and prayer. I will decide when and how long to do it. I am a child and creation of God - a Higher Power who loves to listen and talk to me. God, help me let go of my fears about whether or not You hear and care. Help me know that You are there and that I am able to tap into the spiritual consciousness.


It feels so good to like all of me today. I feel warm and comforted in knowing that I am just fine... just the way I am. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Let Yourself Take Side Trips

"You're on a journey," the Native American shaman from Sedona said, "bit it's not what you think. Don't be like the deer, who looks straight ahead and sees only the destination. Let yourself take all the side trips you can. Travel the back roads, take your time. Talk to people and touch the trees. See all you've come here to see."

Sometimes we need to make side trips-- side trips into experiences, emotions, situations that take us off center and somewhere new. Sometimes that's where our greatest learning and growth occur.

If a safe trip is beckoning, perhaps there's a lesson there: an old feeling to be felt, healed, and cleared; a new attitude or belief to be acquired; a revelation, a surprise. Remember this: a side trip, with all it's emotions, isn't about another person. It's about you and your journey to healing, freedom, and joy. Ignoring a situation that can take you off center won't take you to the next place. Going more deeply into your own growth process, going more deeply into your soul is what will further your journey.

Everything that happens to you can be used, felt, shaped and transformed to further your journey. This process of growth, of side trips and healing, is your destiny, the magical journey of your soul.

To get to the next place, we need to leave the comfortable main road we've been traveling. Sometimes a side trip is exactly what we need to make.

*****

more language of letting go
Let enlightenment come

Sometimes, the harder we try to see a lesson, the more lost and confused we become. "What does it mean?" we ask, squinting at the problem.

Relax. Let go of your expectations and you interpretations. Quit trying so hard to see.

Sometimes the lesson may be a simple reminder to see the sacred in your ordinary life or to practice compassion for yourself as well as for others. Sometimes what we're going through is part of a larger lesson, one that may take us years to complete and comprehend. It's easy to fall into the false belief that there's some lesson that we have to push and struggle to learn. There isn't.

We only have to see what we see and know what we know right now.

Experience your life.

More shall be revealed when it's time.

Practice seeing without squinting.

God, help me be present to the situations in my life without trying to read too deeply into them. Help me trust that my lessons will become clear when it's time.

*****

Energy to Spare
Knowing Your Limits

Every human life is defined, to some extent, by limits. No one person is capable of fulfilling every possibility. We are all born with unique aptitudes and sensitivities, and it is these qualities that largely determine the paths we will travel in life. What invigorates, excites, and inspires one individual may exhaust or overwhelm another. When we understand what we as individuals are capable of reasonably handling, we gradually learn to accept that we have control over our wellbeing. Yet determining where our limits lie can be difficult, as it is likely we have been told time and again that the discomfort, fatigue, and stress we felt while engaging in activities outside the range of our comfort zones was all in our heads. If you have never before given thought to the notion of personal limits, creating a list of those tasks and situations that leave you feeling drained can give you insight into your own.

You will know definitively that you are operating within your limits when you have the necessary energy and drive to address your personal and professional commitments. This is not to say you should not push yourself or work to extend the range of your capabilities. The wisdom you gain through dynamic self-examination will give you the tools you need to create an individual life strategy that allows you to achieve your goals without compromising yourself or your needs. The limits you honor by focusing your energy on what you can do rather than what you cannot do will not interfere with your ambitions unless you allow them to interfere. You can thrive within your limits, actively shape your circumstances, and avoid anguish by simply recognizing that certain aspects of life nourish you while others drain you, and doing your best to perceive the fine line between applying yourself diligently and overworking yourself.

You may be surprised to discover that your limits change over time. Your willingness to accept these limits as they reveal themselves to you can smooth your passage through life and give you the means to flourish. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

A Day at a Time
Sunday, Oct. 28

Reflection for the Day
"Pride, like a magnet, constantly points to one object, self; unlike the magnet, it has no attractive pole, but at all points repels." - Colton

When the earliest members of The Program discovered just how spiritually prideful they could be, they admonished one another to avoid "instant sainthood." That old-time warning could be taken as an alibi to excuse us from doing our best, but it's really The Program's way of warning against "prideful blindness" and the imaginary perfections we don't possess.

Am I beginning to understand the difference between pride and humility?

Today I Pray
May God, who in His mercy has saved our lives, keep us from setting ourselves up as the saints and prophets of The Program. May we recognize the value of our experiences for others without getting smug about it. May we remember with humility and love the thousands of other "old hands" who are equally well-versed in its principles.

Today I Will Remember
I will avoid "instant sainthood."

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One More Day
October 28

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose.
– Lyndon B. Johnson

We can cherish our yesterdays or even regret them, but we can never live them again. The past is behind us; the future lies ahead. We may sometimes be saddened by the thought that the furture might be shorter than our past, but we find comfort in remembering that the future is real and promising; the past is neither.

To find only positives in the past and negatives in the future robs us of one of our greatest gifts — time — and time is what the past can’t give us. Yesterday’s gifts to us are memories, and an occasional backward glance to what once was is natural. But we grow mentally and spiritually by living in this day and planning for tomorrow.

I accept the gifts of yesterday’s memories, today’s reality, and tomorrow’s dreams.

October 29

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There is nothing so moving--not even acts of love or hate--as the discovery that one is not alone. --Robert Ardrey
Our fears are normal. Some of us fear going to a new school and making new friends. Taking an important test causes jitters in the bravest looking person. Maybe staying alone in the house for the first time has you looking under beds and in closets every time you hear a strange noise. Our fears are merely reminders that we've forgotten to let God help us out.
So often we think we're alone, but we never are. We each have a Higher Power just waiting to be relied on. Nothing is too difficult or fearful for us to handle with the help of our Higher Power. When we develop the habit of letting God ease our way, our fears are gone.
Today, which fear can I replace with trust in my Higher Power?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It is senseless to speak of optimism or pessimism. The only important thing to remember is that if one works well in a potato field, the potatoes will grow. If one works well among men, they will grow. That's reality. The rest is smoke. --Danilo Dolci
We can get so mired in our pessimism and negativity! What is the point in it? We even get committed to our pessimism, and we challenge the world - or God - to give us reason for hope. In our pessimism, we don't notice we have chosen a negative place to stand. Recovery means loosening our grip on negativism. We are then free to do the work we need to do. We can slowly take the risk of believing that positive things will happen too.
Any man can see the results in his own life. When we work well at this program, when we are faithful to it, we do grow. We see this truth in one another's lives. The work is not always easy. We sometimes wish to avoid it or find a reason to not even try. But there is no doubt, when we look around us, that the effort is rewarded with fulfilling lives.
God, please remove pessimism from me so I may continue my work.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Let your tears come. Let them water your soul. --Eileen Mayhew
Letting down our guard, releasing the tension that keeps us taut, often invites our tears, tears that soften us, melt our resistance, reveal our vulnerability, which reminds us that we are only human. So often we need reminding that we are only human.
Perfectionism may be our bane, as it is for so many of us in this program. We've learned to push, push harder, and even harder yet, not only ourselves but also those around us. We must be better, we think, and we tighten our hold on life. The program can teach us to loosen our grip, if we'll let it. The magic is that when we loosen our grip on this day, this activity, this person, we get carried gently along and find that which we struggled to control happening smoothly and naturally. Life is a series of ironies.
We should not hide from our tears. We can trust their need to be present. Perhaps they need to be present for someone else, as well as ourselves. Tears encourage compassion; maybe our assignment in life, today, is to help someone else experience compassion.
My tears will heal. And the wounded are everywhere.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Acceptance
A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance.
We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them. Problems. Blessings. Financial status. Where we live. Our work, our tasks, our level of performance at these tasks.
Resistance will not move us forward, nor will it eliminate the undesirable. But even our resistance may need to be accepted. Even resistance yields to and is changed by acceptance.
Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment.
Acceptance is the magic that makes our present circumstances good. It brings peace and contentment and opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.
It shines the light of positive energy on all that we have and are. Within the framework of acceptance, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.
Acceptance empowers the positive and tells God we have surrendered to the Plan. We have mastered today's lesson, and are ready to move on.
Today, I will accept. I will relinquish my need to be in resistance to my environment and myself. I will surrender. I will cultivate contentment and gratitude. I will move forward in joy by accepting where I am today.


I am becoming open to loving others and letting myself FEEL the love other people have for me. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 29
The Best Is Yet to Come

Set yourself free from limitations, limitations you have placed on yourself. Sometimes in life we may begin thinking the best part is over. I’ve done my best work, had my best times. We don’t have to limit ourselves, life or the universe.

You’ve had many great times, visited many interesting places, done excellent work, and had truly memorable experiences. You’ve experienced a lifetime of love– with friends, family members, loved ones. But the best isn’t over. Whether you’re at the end of a particular relationship, task, or part of your journey, the best is not over. It is still to come.

Memories of excellent times are to be cherished. Clinging to them in a way that limits our lives is a different issue. Often, it keeps us from cherishing the present moment and creatively participating in our future.

All endings are inexorably tied to new beginnings. That’s the nature of the journey. It continues to unfold. It builds on itself. It can’t help itself from doing that. Cherish the moments, all of them. You have seen and felt much in life so far. But still, the best is yet to come.

Open to all the journey holds. The universe is abundant. You are ready to be healed, calmed, empowered. You are ready to partake of the banquet of life, again and again. You are ready to take your place in new, creative experiences. There are many places still to see, soul mates yet to meet, lessons to be learned, joys to be experienced.

Transcend your limitations. Open your mind and heart to all that lies ahead. Call it to you often in the quietness of your heart by believing what is true.

The best is yet to come.

*****

more language of letting go
Ask to see what you're being shown

I was in a small shopping center dropping off film to be developed. When I returned to me car, I realized I had locked my keys inside it. Disbelief shortly turned to acceptance. I walked down to the police station, a few doors down. I had locked my purse in the car,too. I didn't have a quarter on me to use the phone.

The police called the automobile club for me. They told me help was on the way. I went outside and sat on the curb. Then I began staring at a small kitchen furnishings store across the street. I stared and stared. Then I decided to go browse for a while, even though I didn't have my purse.

For months I'd been searching all over Southern California looking for a particular brand of pots and pans. I'd almost given up. Although this was a small store, I decided to inquire if they carried that brand.

"Oh, yes," the clerk said. "We sure do."

Sometimes an inconvenient incident is just that-- inconvenient. Sometimes we just need to slow down, come back to earth, and be aware. Sometimes there's something our Higher Power would like us to see. And once in a while that unexpected problem is really a blessing in disguise.

Take interruptions and inconveniences in stride. Instead of being angry, try to be quietly present in your life. Be aware. See if something's being pointed out to you.

God, help me open my eyes to see what you want me to see.

*****

Life’s Scales
Balance

by Madisyn Taylor

A balanced lifestyle is simply a state of being in which one has time and energy for obligations and pleasures.


Like pieces of a puzzle, the many different aspects of your being come together to form the person that you are. You work and play, rest and expend energy, commune with your body and soul, exalt in joy, and feel sorrow. Balance is the state that you achieve when all of the aspects of your life and self are in harmony. Your life force flows in a state of equilibrium because nothing feels out of sync. While balance is necessary to have a satisfying, energetic, and joyful life, only you can determine what balance means to you.

Achieving balance requires that you assess what is important to you. The many demands of modern life can push us to make choices that can put us off balance and have a detrimental effect on our habits, relationships, health, and career. In creating a balanced lifestyle, you must ascertain how much time and energy you are willing to devote to the different areas of your life. To do so, imagine that your life is a house made up of many rooms. Draw this house, give each part of your life its own room, and size each room according to the amount of importance you assign to that aspect of your life. You can include family, solitude, activities that benefit others, healthy eating, indulgences, exercise and working on self. You may discover that certain elements of your life take up an inordinate amount of time, energy, or effort and leave you with few resources to nurture the other aspects of your life. You may want to spend less time on these activities and more on the ones that! fulfill you.

A balanced lifestyle is simply a state of being in which one has time and energy for obligations and pleasures, as well as time to live well and in a gratifying way. With its many nuances, balance can be a difficult concept to integrate into your life. Living a balanced existence, however, can help you attain a greater sense of happiness, health, and fulfillment. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time
October 29

Reflection For The Day

Virtually all of us suffered the defect of pride when we sought help through The Program, the Twelve Steps, and the fellowship of those who truly understood what we felt and where we had been. We learned about our shortcomings — and of pride in particular — and began to replace self-satisfaction with gratitude for the miracle of our recovery, gratitude for the privilege of working with others, and gratitude for God’s gift — which enabled us to turn catastrophe into good fortune. Have I begun to realize that “pride is to character like the attic to the house — the highest part, and generally the most empty…”?

Today I Pray

God, please tell me if I am hanging my shins on my own pride. Luckily for me, The Program has its own built-in check for flaws like this — the clear-eyed vision of the group, which sees in me what I sometimes cannot see myself. May I know that any kind of success has always gone straight to my head, and be watching for it as I begin to reconstruct my confidence.

Today I Will Remember

“Success” can be a setback.

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One More Day
October 29

You may talk on all subjects save one, namely, your maladies.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Casual conversations have an unspoken rule: never, never tell about our pain, our misery, our difficulties. Ironically, the stars of social gatherings are often the ones who have just suffered an accident or injury. We show interest and concern for new and obvious problems; we often ignore ongoing ones. A leg cast has glamor; a wheelchair has none.

We can understand this. Human nature finds adventure in broken bones or neck braces. It also finds reassurance because these injuries are temporary and the victim will be as good as new in a matter of weeks. Many people can’t identify with the permanence of chronic illness, but we can educate them about our social concerns without provoking pity.

My life becomes more balanced when I enjoy social activities as social — not medical — events.

October 30

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
You have three choices: keep on fighting, ignore each other, or make up and be friends. --John Knoblauch
Once there were four sixth-graders--two boys and two girls--who started to fight even though they'd been friends for years. One morning at the bus stop, the boys started playing keep-away with the girls' shoes and wouldn't give them back. One of the mothers called the school.
Later that day, the counselor called them in and asked them what the fight was all about. They said they didn't really know.
"Well," said the counselor, "it doesn't really matter why you started fighting. Right now, you've got three choices: keep on fighting, ignore each other, or make up."
The group chose to ignore each other, after discussing it among themselves. They were happy to be able to stop fighting. About the time of winter vacation, they decided to be friends again.
What conflicts can I resolve by letting them be?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
That which is lacking in the present world is a profound knowledge of the nature of things. --Frithjof Schuon
Most of us have very narrow, limited ways of understanding what happens to us. We are generally practical men, and if something goes wrong we immediately begin to think of how to fix it. We take a cause-and-effect approach to understand the events around us rather than a circular or symbolic approach. Perhaps we turn quickly to blaming instead of asking what is the meaning or the message in what is happening. We see our own experience as the center of events. We forget that our lives are only today's expression in a line of generations before us.
We become too self-satisfied with our ways of understanding the world. It may be comforting to think we understand what is going on. When we let go of that comfort and open ourselves to a more profound awareness, we enter the spiritual realm. Here we learn that facts are not enough to achieve truth. We begin to understand that love - in the form of connections with all of creation - is where we find the most profound meaning.
I am a part of the whole universe, and my relationship with my Higher Power will open me to profound knowledge.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Intuition is a spiritual faculty and does not explain, but simply points the way. --Florence Scovel Shinn
Should we make this move? Should we change jobs? Should we talk to others about our feelings? We are seldom short on prayers when we're filled with fear and indecision. We are, however, short on answers. Our worries block them out.
No prayer ever goes unanswered. Of this we can be certain. On the other hand, the answer may not be what we'd hoped for. In fact, we may not recognize it as the answer because we are expecting something quite different. It takes willingness on our part to be free of our preconceptions--free to accept whatever answers are offered.
Our answers come unexpectedly, a chance meeting on the street, a passage in a book or newspaper, a nagging feeling within. God speaks to each of us throughout the day. Our prayers are answered, our problems find solutions, and our worries are eased, if we but attune ourselves to the messages. They are all around.
I will be attentive to all the signs from God today. Whatever answer I seek is finding its way to me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Self Value
We have a real life of our own. Yes, we do.
That empty feeling, that senses that everyone except us has a life - an important life, a valuable life, a better life - is a remnant from the past. It is also a self-defeating belief that is inaccurate.
We are real. So is our life. Jump into it, and we'll see.
Today, I will live my life and treasure it as mine.

Today my happiness radiates from within me. Gary Seidler --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey to the Heart
Honor the Seasons of Your Soul

There are seasons and cycles in our lives, just as there are seasons and cycles to nature, to all of life. We move imperceptibly from one to the other--learning, growing, laughing, and crying along the way.

We accept with joy the seasons of nature. We honor them. We wouldn't think of pulling at the tiny blades of grass in early spring to force their growth. Neither would we chastise them for growing too slowly or wilting with the first frost of autumn.

We can learn to recognize and honor the seasons and cycles in ourselves. The answers will come-- small glimpses ar first, like the first tender shoots of grass. We get an idea, a clue, a hint, of what we're about to learn. Then come a series of experiences. Sometimes we immediately see the connection. Sometimes we don't. We go about the business of living our lives.

Then one day, we see. That tiny shoot has become a full-grown blade of grass, a rolling lawn covering the landscape. We see the connections, the lessons-- and we'll honor all the feelings that we had along the way. We're different. We're changed. We're new. A new season has arrived.

And just when we think that the way it is now is the way it will be forever, another season begins. As naturally, as imperceptibly as the last. It, too. will build on what has already happened and create something new.

There are seasons and cycles in us, just as there are in nature. Learn to recognize and honor the seasons and cycles of the soul.

*****

more language of letting go
God's aware of you

Dear God,
Are you really invisible or is that just a trick?
Children's Letters to God

Sometimes we cannot see more than a few feet in front of us along the path. The path is still there. All we have to do is keep walking it until we're out of the darkness and into the Light. Just take one small step at a time.

Surrender to the circumstances in your life. Feel your feelings. Be aware of your pain and your suffering, if that's what you're going through. But remember that even when you can't see God, God can see you.

And God cares.

God, help me feel your active presence in my life today.

*****

A Living Dwelling
Creating a Beautiful Home

by Madisyn Taylor

Our conscious, loving intentions can literally transform the spaces in which we live, dispelling any lingering unharmonious energy.


The homes we occupy are seldom ideal. A space that satisfies our basic needs may nonetheless leave us wanting where location, décor, or style are concerned. Yet every home has the potential to be beautiful. When we fill our homes with love, we transcend worldly factors such as market value and design. Our conscious, loving intentions can literally transform the spaces in which we live, dispelling any lingering unharmonious energy and replacing it with an ethereal beauty that is felt rather than seen. Our homes become spiritual dwellings that feel soulful and alive. Regardless of their outward appearances, they radiate love, making all who enter, including ourselves, feel instantly welcome.

Turning a space into the beautiful outward expression of your inner warmth is as easy as projecting love into it. When your intentions are sincere, you can infuse the walls of your home with your energy, your emotional sensitivity, and your generosity of spirit, turning it into a haven of affection, joy, laughter, and togetherness. It is up to you, whether you want your personal spaces to be peaceful and quiet or lively and inspiring. Begin by cultivating awareness within yourself. This will allow you to see your home as an integral part of your existence rather than somewhere you simply return to at the end of each day. Consider how you relate to each element of your space, and remind yourself that every room in your home can serve a purpose in your life and the lives of your loved ones. Finally, lovingly thank each room for providing for your needs. As you become more mindful of the manner in which your home contributes to your well-being, you will discover that, more and ! more, you want to love and be loved by it.

Appearance and other superficial qualities can be deceiving. An aesthetically beautiful home can prove unwelcoming. And a home that seems mundane in every characteristic can be as comforting and cozy as a beloved relative or friend. When you nurture and care for your home as if it were a loved one, it will absorb your tender intentions and project a love so touching you will soon come to feel a great affection for it.

*****

A Day at a Time
Oct. 30

Reflection for the Day
When I'm motivated by pride - by bondage of self - I become partly or even wholly blind to my liabilities and shortcomings. At that point, the last thing I need is comfort. Instead, I need an understanding friend in The Program - one who knows "where I'm at" - a friend who'll unhesitatingly chop a hole through the wall my ego has built so that the light of reason can once again shine through.

Do I take time to review my progress, to spot-check myself on a daily basis, and to promptly try to remedy my wrongs?

Today I Pray
God, I pray that the group - or just one friend - will be honest enough to see my slippery manifestations of pride and brave enough to tell me about them. My self-esteem was starved for so long, that with my first successes in The Program, it may swell to the gross proportions of self-satisfaction. May a view from outside myself give me a true picture of how I am handling the triumph of my sobriety - with humility or with pride.

Today I Will Remember
Self-esteem or self-satisfaction?

************************************

One More Day
October 30

We can have a hand in our own daily miracle of health.
– Lewis F. Presnall

Some things we cannot change or control, and one of those most certainly is the limiting nature of illnesses. But we’re not alone. We have surely learned by now that all people have to deal with handicaps or limitations — physical, psychological, or emotional. Like all other people, we are challenged to live a fulfilling life within the limitations placed upon us.

What matters most is that even through we may have a long-term health problem, we can learn to dwell on wellness, not on illness. Limitations certainly afect how we live our lives, but they need not alter the quality of who we are. It’s up to us to choose whether we will be all we are intended to be.

There are large areas which I can still control in my life, and that gives me hope.