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January 16
Daily Reflections HITTING BOTTOM Why all this insistence that every A.A. must hit bottom first? The answer is that few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom. For practicing A.A.'s remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24 Hitting bottom opened my mind and I became willing to try something different. What I tried was A.A. My new life in the Fellowship was a little like learning how to ride a bike for the first time: A.A. became my training wheels and my supporting hand. It's not that I wanted the help so much at the time; I simply did not want to hurt like that again. My desire to avoid hitting bottom again was more powerful than my desire to drink. In the beginning that was what kept me sober. But after a while I found myself working the Steps to the best of my ability. I soon realized that my attitudes and actions were changing - if ever so slightly. One Day at a Time, I became comfortable with myself, and others, and my hurting started to heal. Thank God for the training wheels and supporting hand that I choose to call Alcoholics Anonymous. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The A.A. program is more a way of building a new life than just a way of getting over drinking, because in A.A. we don't just stop drinking. We did that plenty of times in the old days when we went "on the wagon." And, of course, we always started to drink again, because we were only waiting for the time when we could fall off. Once we've gotten sober through the A.A. program, we start going uphill. In our drinking days, we were going downhill, getting worse and worse. We either go down or up. Am I going uphill, getting better and better? Meditation For The Day I will try to obey God's will day in and day out, in the wilderness plains as well as on the mountaintops of experience. It is in the daily strivings that perseverance counts. I believe that God is Lord of little things, the Divine Controller of little happenings. I will persevere in this new way of life. I know that nothing in the day is too small to be a part of God's scheme. Prayer For The Day I pray that the little stones which I put into the mosaic of my life may make a worthwhile pattern. I pray that I may persevere and so find harmony and beauty. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Never Again!, p. 16 "Most people feel more secure on the twenty-four-hour basis than they do in the resolution that they will never drink again. Most of them have broken too many resolutions. It's really a matter of personal choice; every A.A. has the privilege of interpreting the program as he likes. "Personally, I take the attitude that I intend never to drink again. This is somewhat different from saying, 'I will never drink again.' The latter attitude sometimes gets people in trouble because it is undertaking on a personal basis to do what we alcoholics never could do. It is too much an act of will and leaves too little room for the idea that God will release us from the drink obsession provided we follow the A.A. program." Letter, 1949 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Material things matter The Money Problem Now and then we have heated discussions about the role of material things in sobriety. Someone is bound to say that money can't buy happiness and that the spiritual has to come first. But material things do matter in our lives, and we share with others the same desire to get ahead in life. We usually like good clothes, new cars, and steady pay checks. It is somewhat hypocritical to say that money and material things don't matter when we obviously need money and would like to have more of it. Our problem with money and material things occurred when we made a god of them, when we saw worldly success as the end-all and be-all of life. The proper function of money is to provide for smooth exchange of the goods and services we must use in order to live. Far from denouncing spiritual gifts that should be used properly, but not worshipped. More than likely, we can appreciate material things far more than we did while drinking, despite the exaggerated love we had then for worldly things. I will neither despise material things nor make a god of them today. I will view them as part of God's plan, as things to use. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us.---Eric Hoffer It's tempting to blame others for our problems. Recovery asks us to answer for our actions. Admitting we are powerless over our actions. Admitting we are powerless over our alcohol and other drugs is a start. Each of the Twelve Steps asks us to answer for our actions in some way. And the program shows us how to do this. Over time, we see that being responsible for our actions is the best way to live. Our self-confidence grows as we become more responsible. We start to see just how much we can do. We have gone from being drunks to being responsible people. If we can do this, then we can do anything! Prayer for the Day: I pray to remember that I'm responsible for my actions. Blaming puts distance between me and other people. Higher Power, help me to play fair. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list four times I've blamed someone else for a problem that was really my problem. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I feel we have picked each other from the crowd as fellow-travelers, for neither of us is to the other's personality the end-all and the be-all. --Joanna Field We must look around at the people in our lives today, and know that we have something special to offer each of them, and they to us. We do travel separate paths together. We may need to learn tolerance; perhaps a friend's behavior pushes us to be more tolerant. Impatience may be our nemesis, and everywhere we turn are lines, slow cash registers, traffic jams. Our experiences with others aren't chance. Fellow travelers are carefully selected by the inner self, the spiritual guide who understands our needs in this life. We are both the teachers and the pupils. We need both our friends and those we may label our enemies for what they can help us learn. I will carefully look about me today with gladness at the travelers I've selected to learn from. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power. p. 43 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. Bill and Hank had just taken over a small automobile polish company, and they offered me a job--ten dollars a week and keep at Hank's house. We were all set to put DuPont out of business. p. 227 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Nearly every sound human being experiences, at some time in life, a compelling desire to find a mate of the opposite sex with whom the fullest possible union can be made --spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical. This mighty urge is the root of great human accomplishments, a creative energy that deeply influences our lives. God fashioned us that way. So our question will be this: How, by ignorance, compulsion, and self-will, do we misuse this gift for our own destruction? We A.A. cannot pretend to offer full answers to age-old perplexities, but our own experience does provide certain answers that work for us. p. 117 ************************************************** ********* "Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides." --Margaret Thatcher "Sharing what you have is more important than what you have." --Albert M. Wells, Jr. "Oh...I listen a lot and talk less. You can't learn anything when you're talking." --Bing Crosby Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul. --Saint Augustine The alcoholic is in no greater peril than when he takes sobriety for granted. F E A R = Face Everything And Recover. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation PROCRASTINATION "You cannot build a reputation on things you are going to do." -- Mabel Newcomber Procrastination is the addicts' game. I will give up alcohol tomorrow. Soon I will take an inventory of my eating habits. Later I will talk to him about my anger and pain. Tomorrow and tomorrow --- but it never happens! The tragedy is that we not only bring pain and problems into our lives but we keep them there. Recovery requires action; sobriety and the spiritual program demand movement. Today I will talk about my pain. ************************************************** ********* The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down. Psalm 146:8 "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Romans 10:17 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When we hand over what we can't handle to the One who can, miracles happen. Keep me free of stress, Lord, and in the best possible place to receive Your help. There is no personal problem that you cannot solve. Lord, Your presence within me is all power. You are my help in every need. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Make That Call! " We feared that if we ever revealed ourselves as we were, we would surely be rejected.... [But] our fellow members do understand us." Basic Text, p. 31 We need our fellow NA members-their experience, their friendship, their laughter, their guidance, and much, much more. Yet many of us hesitate to call our sponsor or visit our NA friends. We don't want to impose on them. We think about phoning someone, but we don't feel worthy of their time. We fear that if they ever got to know us-really know us-they'd surely reject us. We forget that our fellow NA members are just like us. There's nothing we've done, no place we've been, no feeling we've felt that other recovering addicts won't be able to identify with. The more we let others get to know us, the more we'll hear, "You're in the right place. You're among friends. You belong. Welcome!" We also forget that, just as we need others, they need us. We're not the only ones who want to feel like we belong, who want to experience the warmth of friendship, who want someone to share with. If we isolate ourselves from our fellow members, we deprive them of something they need, something only we can give them: our time, our company, our true selves. In Narcotics Anonymous, recovering addicts care for one another. What waits at the other end of the telephone is not rejection, but the love, warmth, and identification of the NA Fellowship. Make that call! Just for today: In NA, I am among friends. I will reach out to others, giving and receiving in fellowship. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. When you do something you are proud of, dwell on it a little, praise yourself for it. --Mildred Newman Each one of us is very good at something. Maybe it's baseball or tennis where we display talent. Maybe we're good in math or at giving reports. A few people are talented at being good listeners or helpful friends. To recognize our own talents we may need help from others. It's always so much easier to see our faults, or the ways we don't meet our own expectations. But the fact is we are all skilled in many areas of our lives. To accept praise--better yet, to quietly give it to ourselves--is a sign of healthy growth. What things have I done well lately? You are reading from the book Touchstones. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. --Ralph Waldo Emerson What good qualities lie within us? How do we choose to use them today? These simple questions point our way. Yet, on some days it seems so easy to get swept along with thoughts of future pain. And when we are not worrying about the future, we may fall into regrets about the past. Either way, we are distracted from our only opportunity to make a real difference - to be the kind of men we want to be in this moment, to learn from today's experiment in living. On this day, I will walk a little slower and will listen closely to the messages within me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I feel we have picked each other from the crowd as fellow-travelers, for neither of us is to the other's personality the end-all and the be-all. --Joanna Field We must look around at the people in our lives today, and know that we have something special to offer each of them, and they to us. We do travel separate paths together. We may need to learn tolerance; perhaps a friend's behavior pushes us to be more tolerant. Impatience may be our nemesis, and everywhere we turn are lines, slow cash registers, traffic jams. Our experiences with others aren't chance. Fellow travelers are carefully selected by the inner self, the spiritual guide who understands our needs in this life. We are both the teachers and the pupils. We need both our friends and those we may label our enemies for what they can help us learn. I will carefully look about me today with gladness at the travelers I've selected to learn from. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Prayer As a matter of fact, prayer is the only real action in the full sense of the word, because prayer is the only thing that changes one's character. A change in character, or a change in soul, is a real change. --Emmet Fox, The Sermon on the Mount Erica Jong has said that we are spiritual beings who are human. Praying and meditating are ways we take care of our spirit. Prayer and meditation are disciplines suggested by the Eleventh Step of Twelve Step recovery programs: Al Anon, CoDa, Adult Children of Alcoholics, and others. Prayer and meditation are not necessarily connected to organized religion. Prayer and meditation are ways to improve our personal relationship with a Higher Power to benefit our life, our growth, and us. Praying is how we connect with God. We don't pray because we have to; we pray because we want to. It is how we link our soul to our Source. We're learning to take care of our emotions, our mind, and our physical needs. We're learning to change our behaviors. But we're also learning to take care of our spirit, our soul, because that is where all true change begins. Each time we talk to God, we are transformed. Each time we connect with our Higher Power, we are heard, touched, and changed for the best. Today, I will practice prayer and meditation. Whether I feel desperate, uneasy, or peaceful, I will make the effort to connect with my Higher Power, at least for a moment today. Today I take the time to be with me and find peace and love and truth. It is mine if I just stop. It is mine if I just think the thoughts I want to feel. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart See How Happy You Are Most of us have very active imaginations. We have the power to visualize, to create in our minds what we cannot yet see with our eyes. The problem is that many of us use this power to visualize events we’d really rather not see. We conjure up all sorts of images about the bad, painful things that could happen. Maybe it’s time to use the potent, creative power of visualization to create picutres of all the good we would like to see in our lives. What would you like to see happen in your life? Create a picture you can see. The more real you make it, the better it will be. See yourself in the picture. Try to involve all your senses. Visualize yourself touching, hearing, speaking, smelling, feeling. Charge your picture with as much emotional energy as you can. Use any spare moments– stretched out on the sofa, in bed before you fall asleep, driving in your car, soaking in the tub– to create positive pictures for your life. Make a project out of it. Make a list, and keep it nearby. If you don’t know what to put on your list, ask yourself, ask God, ask the universe to help you, show you. See yourself doing all the things you’d like to do. Take the time to use your creative power of visualization to create the life you’d like. But above all, take the time to see yourself being happy. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Drop it How do you let go? I just can’t let go? It’s impossible to let go of this. These are thoughts that may run through our minds when we worry, dwell, and obsess. Pick up something around you. Pick up this book. Hold it tightly. Then just drop it. Release it. Let it fall right out of your hands. That’s what you do with whatever you’re obsessing and dwelling about. If you pick it up again, drop it one more time. See! Letting go is a skill that anyone can acquire. Passion and focus can lead us along our path and help us find our way. But obsession can mean we’ve crossed that line, again. We can be compassionate but firm with ourselves and others as we learn to release our tight grip and just let things go. God, help me know that if I’m obsessing about a problem, it’s not because I have to. Dropping it is always a choice available to me. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day When we first came to The Program, whether for ourselves or under pressure from others, some of us were all but sickened by the concept of “surrender.” To admit defeat flew in the face of our life-long beliefs. We thought of the immoral rallying cities of Churchill at Dunkirk, of FDR following the attack of Pearl Harbor. And so we secretly vowed at first, that the very idea of surrender was unthinkable. Here I truly come to believe that only through utter defeat am I able to take the first steps toward liberation and strength? Or do I still harbor reservations about the principle of “letting go and letting God…”? Today I Pray May I really believe that the complete surrender of my whole being to a Higher Power is the way to serenity. For I can be whole only in Him, who has the power to make me whole. May I do away with of any feelings of wanting to “hold out” and never admit defeat. May I unlearn the old adage which tells me that I must “never give up” and realize that such pridefullness could keep me from recovery. Today I Will Remember From Wholly His to Whole. ***************************************** One More Day The future is an opaque mirror. Anyone who looks into it sees nothing but the dim outlines of an old and worried face. – Jim Bishop When we were young, our mirrors reflect our outer appearance. Later, mirrors seem to reflect also the inward self. Worry and joy can etch themselves into our facial expressions; anger or love can gaze out from our eyes. If we have refused to forgive, our bitterness stares back at us. If we have chosen to isolate ourselves, our loneliness is there. But if our choices have been openness, humor, and understanding — all of these clearly shine out for all to see. Each day , without realizing it, we are making choices for behaviors and thoughts that will help create either a serene and joyful face or an old and worried one. The choice is ours. Today, I choose healthy looks, actions and feelings. ************************************ Food For Thought Act Your Way into Right Thinking The OA program is one of action. For years, many of us have tried to analyze why we overate. The fact is that no amount of thinking will change our habits. To change, we must act. We act by writing down a food plan, by picking up the telephone and calling a food sponsor, by going to a meeting. We act by buying the kind of food we need for our program. We act by planning our day so that we spend as little time as possible in the kitchen during those periods when we are likely to be tempted. We act by walking away from food, which is not on our plan. As we work the Twelve Steps, we take actions, which result in concrete character changes. As we take the right action, our thinking changes and right thoughts come. But first we must act. What actions shall I take today? Lord, direct my actions. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ FORGIVENESS ~ Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury. Edwin Hubbel Chapin I want recovery from my disease of compulsive eating. Part of my program of recovery is asking forgiveness for past wrongs I've committed against other people. It isn't enough for me to make amends just to others, though. Another aspect of forgiveness is that of forgiving those around me. I need to forgive them for what they may have done to me. Many times people don't know that they've hurt me and maybe triggered a binge, because I've covered up the pain with food. But if I forgive them, then I don't have that pain that I thought could only be soothed with food. Finally, I need to forgive myself. I can be my harshest critic, and many times I, myself, have been the trigger for my binge. Besides, if I can find it in my heart to forgive others, then surely I can extend the same courtesy to myself. One day at a time... I will practice forgiveness in all its forms. Jeff ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. - Pg. 64 - How It Works - 3rd. and 4th. Edition Hour To Hour - Book - Quote One of the things you will notice about our fellowship is that we hug a lot. Often this makes newcomers uncomfortable because they are not used to being given love and attention without serious strings attached. There are no strings, we just simply love you. Give me the courage to hug the next clean and sober person I see. Silver Linings I search for silver linings, for the deeper meaning of the events in my life. Life is my teacher if I can learn to read the subtle messages that are laced into the circumstances that I co-create around me. I will look for the lesson. When life offers up its inevitable challenges, I will try to understand what I am meant to see that I am not seeing, what I am meant to hear that I am not hearing, what I am meant to know that I am not knowing. There is always a silver lining if I look for it. Even if I don't see it readily, I trust that it is there and that it will reveal itself to me over time. Life isn't simple. One of the ways that I can grow from life's adversities, is to see what is positive about a difficult situation, to look for the silver lining. I can grow in joy and in pain. It doesn't need to be one or the other because pain can transform into joy. It can be the fire that clears the field for new and tender growth. There is always a silver lining. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Our program will work for people who believe in God. Our program will work for people who don't believe in God. Our program will not work for people who believe they are God. A God of my understanding, a God not of my understanding. God can simply be a 'Group Of Drunks' if I choose! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book With the 12 Steps, you have breakthroughs, not breakdowns. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I take the time to be with me and find peace and love and truth. It is mine if I just stop. It is mine if I just think the thoughts I want to feel. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote They say I'm the heart of AA. If that's true, then Dr Bob was it's soul. And the blood of my heart. - Bill W. ( On the day Dr. Bob died ) |
January 17
Daily Reflections HAPPINESS COMES QUIETLY "The trouble with us alcoholics was this: We demanded that the world give us happiness and peace of mind in just the particular order we wanted to get it - by the alcohol route. And we weren't successful. But when we take time to find out some of the spiritual laws, and familiarize ourselves with them, and put them into practice, then we do get happiness and peace of mind. . . There seem to be some rules that we have to follow, but happiness and peace of mind are always here, open and free to anyone." DR. BOB AND THE GOOD OLDTIMERS, p. 308 The simplicity of the A.A. program teaches me that happiness isn't something I can "demand." It comes upon me quietly, while I serve others. In offering my hand to the newcomer or to someone who has relapsed, I find that my own sobriety has been recharged with indescribable gratitude and happiness. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day It doesn't do much good to come to meetings only once in a while and sit around, hoping to get something out of the program. That's all right at first, but it won't help us very long. Sooner or later we have to get into action, by coming to meetings regularly, by giving a personal witness of our experience with alcohol, and by trying to help other alcoholics. Building a new life takes all the energy that we used to spend on drinking. Am I spending at least as much time and effort on the new life that I'm trying to build in A.A.? Meditation For The Day With God's help, I will build a protective screen around myself which will keep out all evil thoughts. I will fashion it out of my attitude toward God and my attitude toward other people. When one worrying or impatient thought enters my mind, I will put it out at once. I know that love and trust are the solvents for the worry and frets of life. I will use them to form a protective screen around me. Prayer For The Day I pray that frets and impatience and worry may not corrode my protective screen against all evil thoughts. I pray that I may banish all these from my life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Toward Honesty, p. 17 The perverse wish to hide a bad motive underneath a good one permeates human affairs from top to bottom. This subtle and elusive kind of selfish-righteousness can underlie the smallest act or thought. Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct these flaws is the essence of character-building and good living. << << << >> >> >> The deception of others is nearly always rooted in the deception of ourselves. << << << >> >> >> Somehow, being alone with God doesn't seem as embarrassing as facing up to another person. Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical. When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God. 1. 12 & 12, pp. 94-95 2. Grapevine, August 1961 3. 12 & 12, p. 60 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Avoiding AA Chauvism___Friendliness toward Others The term "chauvinism" has often been applied to men who are prejudiced toward women. But "chauvinism" has broader meanings as well. It is a belief in the alleged superiority of one's own nation or group. AA members can develop this peculiar chauvinism in supposing that there is some superiority in having survived alcoholism. In the past, some of us have been particularly critical of non-alcoholics who choose to work in the alcoholism field. We may have relied on the axiom "it takes an alcoholic to understand an alcoholic" when in fact there are many people who have suffered from other problems and can understand our sufferings. Perhaps one of the worst things about AA chauvinism is that it can offend people who could benefit from its principles and could become our allies in the work of helping alcoholics. While we have been highly successful in helping others, we still have not reached more than a small percentage of those who suffer. Additional breakthroughs are needed in the field of alcoholism, and the vital information might come from a non-alcoholic who empathizes with our suffering and wants to do something about it. Even AA has received some of its best ideas from non-alcoholics. I will know today that membership in AA really means that I've found a rightful place in a larger fellowship; The Human Race. I'll view the world as a friendly place. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple When all else fails, read the instructions. Agnes Allen The instructions for recovery are in our Twelve Step program. Yet, there are times when we feel our program isn't working. at these times, we need to read the instructions. Have you followed the "instructions," the wise words are found in The Big Book, The Twelve and Twelve, and other recovery literature? When we do, we recover. It's hard at times, and easy at others. Our problems go deeper than just staying sober. No matter what our problems, our program can help us start fixing them, if we follow the instructions. Don't use alcohol or other drugs. Go to meeting. Talk often with sponsors and program friends. Work the Steps. Think. Easy Does It. First Things First. Listen. Let Go and Let God. One Day at a Time. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, tell me which instructions to read today. If I'm headed for trouble, help me out. Today's Action: I'll read the instructions today. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. --Anas Nin How aptly these words describe the woman so many of us were. Many activities were not attempted, courses weren't taken, conversations weren't initiated because we lacked confidence. The pain, the constant search for acceptance and love in the eyes and behavior of others, still haunts us. But those days are past. We are daring to be ourselves, one day at a time. Confidence still wavers on occasion, and we may need assurance that we're lovable. Gratefully, we can look to one another for the additional boost we may need to face the day. Being there for one another, knowing that we understand each other's fears as women offers the strength to go ahead that we may lack today or tomorrow. Today a woman may need me to dare to be herself. I will be there. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS IN THE PRECEDING chapters you have learned something of alcoholism. We hope we have made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and the non-alcoholic. If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. p. 44 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. At that time the group in New York was composed of about twelve men who were working on the principle of every drunk for himself; we had no real formula and no name. We would follow one man's ideas for a while, decide he was wrong, and switch to another's method. But we were staying sober as long as we kept and talked together. There was one meeting a week at Bill's home in Brooklyn, and we all took turns there spouting off about how we had changed our lives overnight, how many drunks we had saved and straightened out, and last but not least, how God had touched each of us personally on the shoulder. Boy, what a circle of confused idealists! Yet we all had one really sincere purpose in our hearts, and that was not to drink. At our weekly meeting I was a menace to serenity those first few months, for I took every opportunity to lambaste that "spiritual angle," as we called it, or anything else that had any tingle of theology. Much later I discovered the elders held many prayer meetings hoping to find a way to give me the heave-ho but at the same time stay tolerant and spiritual. They did not seem to be getting an answer, for here I was staying sober and selling lots of auto polish, on which they were making one thousand percent profit. So I rocked along my merry independent way until June, when I went out selling auto polish in England. After a very good week, two of my customers took me to lunch on Saturday. We ordered sandwiches, and one man said, "Three beers." I let that sit too. Then it was my turn--I ordered, "Three beers," but this time it was different; I had a cash investment of thirty cents, and, on a ten-dollar-a-week-salary, that a big thing. So I drank all three beers, one after the other, and said, "I'll be seeing you, boys," and went around the corner for a bottle. I never saw either of them again. pp. 227-228 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." When alcoholism strikes, very unnatural situations may develop which work against marriage partnership and compatible union. If the man is affected, the wife must become the head of the house, often the breadwinner. As matters get worse, the husband becomes a sick and irresponsible child who needs to be looked after and extricated from endless scrapes and impasses. Very gradually, and usually without any realization of the fact, the wife is forced to become the mother of an erring boy. And if she had a strong maternal instinct to begin with, the situation is aggravated. Obviously not much partnership can exist under these conditions. The wife usually goes on doing the best she knows how, but meanwhile the alcoholic alternately loves and hates her maternal care. A pattern is thereby established that may take a lot of undoing later on. Nevertheless, under the influence of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, these situations are often set right.* *In adopted form, the Steps are also used by Al-Anon/Alateen Family Groups. Not a part of A.A., this worldwide fellowship consists of spouses and other relatives or friends of alcoholics (in A.A. or still drinking.) Its headquarters address is 1600 Corporate Landing Parkway, Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617. pp. 117-118 ************************************************** ********* Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. --Carl Jung (1875 - 1961) The best portions of a good man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts, of kindness and love. --William Wordsworth Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. --Helen Keller A good exercise for the heart is to bend down and help another up. Nothing hath separated us from God but our own will, or rather our own will is our separation from God. --William Law Relinquish pain and suffering. Experience joy and serenity. Let go and move forward. --Deborah Ann Smith Love yourself. Accept yourself. Be honest about what heals and helps you. Then you'll bring your healing gifts to others. Your life will be a gift to the world. --Melody Beattie ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation CREATIVITY "Creative intelligence in its various forms and activities is what makes man." -- James Harvey Robinson Spirituality is being a positive and creative human being in all areas of my life; this I know to be true today. I am not only creative, I am a creative human being. God created me to create. I am a part of His love for the world; through me great and wonderful events can happen. Although I am not divine, I know that I share divinity. I am special. But with this knowledge comes tremendous responsibility because things are only going to happen if I make them happen in my life. To know that I am creative does not make me creative. I have to do something, make something, create something in my life. Today I work at my life like a carpenter works at his wood. I chip away those things I do not want; I smooth down the rough areas of my life, and I polish up those things I want people to see. I accept responsibility for my creativity, and I thank God, on a daily basis, for it. Teach me, O Creator of the universe, to use my life as a tool for goodness, joy and truth. ************************************************** ********* "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." James 1:22 How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! 1 John 3:1 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God... Ephesians 2:8 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Ephesians 6:10 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration God will put things in order if we are patient and prayerful. Lord, You know all of my needs and wants. I trust that You will provide. When we give in to fears and worries they will take charge of our lives. Lord, I place my trust in You so that I may experience every opportunity and not miss in life that which is meant for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Forgiveness " As we realize our need to be forgiven, we tend to be more forgiving. At least we know that we are no longer intentionally making life miserable for people." Basic Text, p. 38 In our addiction we often treated others badly, sometimes deliberately finding ways to make their lives miserable. in our recovery, we may still have a tendency to pass judgment on others' actions because we think we know how that person should behave. But as we progress in our recovery we often find that, to accept ourselves, we must accept those around us. It may be difficult to watch as someone's insanity manifests itself. But if we detach ourselves from the problem, we can start living in the solution. And if we feel affected by another's actions, we can extend the principle of forgiveness. Just for today: I will strive to forgive rather than be forgiven. I will try to act in such a way that I feel worthy of self-love. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Man cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. --Alexis Carrell A sculptor begins with an unformed piece of marble. He must be able to envision what he wants to create. Then, armed with tools and courage, he begins to chink away at the marble he does not need. Every day he examines how it looks and what he wants it to become. Every one of us who is trying to be a better person is like the sculptor. We envision who we want to be and what kind of qualities we believe in. Some of these qualities might be kindness, good self-esteem, the ability to love and feel loved. If we are honest, we must also look with the artist's eye at our faults. We might see some jealousy and resentment, or feelings of superiority. Our faults, human as they are, are like unwanted marble that keeps our most loving selves from taking shape. Carving away at our faults is hard work, and sometimes-even hurts. Yet we do not do this work alone--we can only do it with the help of our God. What can I chisel away today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Wherever I found the living, there I found the will to power. --Friedrich Nietzsche It has been said that addiction and codependency are problems of power. Recovery certainly calls us to admit the limits of our power. Yet, to reach for power seems to come from the deepest part of our nature. If this is so, can it be all bad? Men have used power in many ways for the good of all people. We have been defenders, protectors, and active community servants. At our best, we have taken strong stands for what was right. We need not shun all power, but rather we learn to use it wisely. Our blindness to the limitations of power created great problems in our lives. Then we learned our first lessons about powerlessness. As humble men, we know we can be wrong, but we cannot be passive and still continue to grow. I pray for guidance as I learn to assert my strength and power for the cause of well being. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. She lacks confidence, she craves admiration insatiably. She lives on the reflections of herself in the eyes of others. She does not dare to be herself. --Anas Nin How aptly these words describe the woman so many of us were. Many activities were not attempted, courses weren't taken, conversations weren't initiated because we lacked confidence. The pain, the constant search for acceptance and love in the eyes and behavior of others, still haunts us. But those days are past. We are daring to be ourselves, one day at a time. Confidence still wavers on occasion, and we may need assurance that we're lovable. Gratefully, we can look to one another for the additional boost we may need to face the day. Being there for one another, knowing that we understand each other's fears as women offers the strength to go ahead that we may lack today or tomorrow. Today a woman may need me to dare to be herself. I will be there. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Acting As If The behavior we call "acting as if' can be a powerful recovery tool. Acting as if is a way to practice the positive. It's a positive form of pretending. It's a tool we use to get ourselves unstuck. It's a tool we make a conscious decision to use. Acting as if can be helpful when a feeling begins to control us. We make a conscious decision to act as if we feel fine and are going to be fine. When a problem plagues us, acting as if can help us get unstuck. We act as if the problem will be or already is solved, so we can go on with our life. Often, acting as if we are detached will set the stage for detachment to come in and take over. There are many areas where acting as if - combined with our other recovery principles - will set the stage for the reality we desire. We can act as if we love ourselves, until we actually do begin to care for ourselves. We can act as if we have a right to say no, until we believe we do. We don't pretend we have enough money to cover a check. We don't pretend an alcoholic is not drinking. We use acting as if as part of our recovery, to set the stage for our new behaviors. We force ourselves through positive recovery behaviors, disregarding our doubts and fears, until our feelings have time to catch up with reality. Acting as if is a positive way to overcome fears, doubts, and low self esteem. We do not have to lie; we do not have to be dishonest with ourselves. We open up to the positive possibilities of the future, instead of limiting the future by today's feelings and circumstances. Acting as if helps us get past shaky ground and into solid territory. God, show me the areas where acting as if could help set the stage for the reality I desire. Guide me as I use this powerful recovery tool to help create a better life and healthier relationships. Today I am not afraid of the silence. I find peace in this silence and I am able to listen to God's will for me. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Awaken to the World Around You There is a universe outside your door, waiting to touch you, soothe you, heal you. There is an entire world out there waiting to help you open your heart and nurture your soul. The universe wants to teach you things, show you things, help you come more alive than you’ve ever been before. Open you eyes, open your senses, open your heart. Walk out your door, look around. You’ll be shown. You’ll be guided. Your heart will lead you to what you need. Listen, look, feel. You are connected to the universe. Let the universe bring you all the healing you need. Let the universe bring you alive. Awaken to the world around you and you’ll awaken to yourself. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Relax. You’ll figure it out Let the answers come naturally. Have you ever gone into a room to get something and by the time you got there, you forgot what you went to get? Often the harder we try to remember, the worse our recollection. But when we relax and do something else for a minute– just let go– what we’re trying so hard to remember pops naturally into our minds. When I suggest that we let go, that’s all I’m suggesting that we do. I’m not saying the problem doesn’t matter, or that we have to entirely extinguish all thoughts of the subject from our minds, or that the person we care about isn’t important anymore. All I’m saying is that if we could do anything about it, we probably would have by now. And seeing as we can’t, letting go usually helps. God, help me relax and let my answers about what to do next come naturally from you. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I have been told over and over that I must constantly work to give up my old ideas. “That’s easy for you to say, ” I’ve sometimes thought. All my life, I have been programmed, computer-style; specific inputs brought forth predictable responses. My mind still tends to reach as a computer reacts, but I am learning to destroy the old tapes and literally reprogrammed myself. Am I fully willing to abandon my old ideas? Am I being fearless and thorough on my daily basis? Today I Pray Help me to take inventory each day of my stock of my new, healthy thoughts, throwing out the old ones as I happen upon them without regret or nostalgia. For I have outgrown those old ideas, which are as scuffed and fun-over as an old pair of shoes. Now, in the light, I can see that they are filled with holes. Today I Will Remember The Program reprograms. ***************************************** One More Day Probably no one alive hasn’t at one time or another brooded over the possibility of going back to an earlier, ideal age in his existence and living a different kind of life. – Hal Boyle If we could go back to a more perfect idyllic life, what section of life would we choose? As we daydream about the wonderful “yesterdays” in our life, little do we realize that even though our health and life circumstances may have changed somewhat, we could , right at this very moment, be creating the memories upon which we will look back fondly. We make our own good times and our own good memories. We can’t ever go backward — but we do still have the ability and capacity to move forward. I am aware that it’s up to me to create all my future memories. I can take from life only as much as I am willing to put into it. ************************************ Food For Thought All We Have Is Now We can only live now, this moment. We cannot erase the mistakes we made yesterday or bring back the good times we had. We cannot know what tomorrow will require of us, nor can we ensure future security and happiness. Now is what we have, and now is everything. We can follow our food plan now. We can abstain this moment. We can deal with the problems, which confront us today as best we can, trusting God to guide us. We can be in touch with our Higher Power only in the present. As we focus on the present moment, we live it deeper, and we derive a satisfaction that we did not know when we were regretting the past and worrying about the future. Whatever happens now is all I can manage and all I need. Thank you; Lord, for this present moment. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ PROCRASTINATION ~ Procrastination, more than anything else I can think of, separates those who want to be successful from those who are. Lee Silber I would always intend to start everything 'tomorrow.' As a compulsive overeater I constantly promised myself the diet would start the next day, or if a weekend was approaching, then it would be Monday. When I first found this program I still had the same attitude: I would get a sponsor in good time, I would get a food plan next week, I'd read the Big Book and other program literature when I got a moment. I thought if I just kept going to meetings something will happen. However, I found that procrastination does not work in program any more than it does outside. I no longer wanted to be the member who was constantly sharing what a dreadful week I had with the food and other aspects of my life. Today I have a sponsor, I have worked through all the Twelve Steps -- I am still working and living the Steps -- I am in good contact with my Higher Power, have a good food plan which I am following religiously, and I have recovery to bring to my shares. One Day at a Time . . . When I make a decision I follow it through with action immediately. ~ Lilian ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote It is not the matter of giving that is in question, but when and how to give. That often makes the difference between failure and success. The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job - wife or no wife - we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God. - Pg. 98 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We must now learn to do our daily maintenance work on our program. This is prayer and meditation. Prayer is when we talk to our Spiritual Source and meditation is when we listen. God, as You have meaning for me, my prayer is for conscious contact. Now I will be silent for five full minutes and listen. Life's Generosity I appreciate the generosity of life. Everywhere I look, the world is spilling forth abundance. I open my hand to receive and the world fills it up with something. Whether it's sunlight, sweet smells or the gift of another day, this world is constantly giving forth. Today I say a quiet thank you for all that the world provides. For sunsets, fresh air and flowers. For rain and people and pets. My arms aren't big enough to hold it all, so today I will appreciate just what I have, knowing that appreciating what I can hold will feel more wonderful than running after more than I can carry. I feel grateful for the gifts of this world - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Us addicts are often hyper-vigilant about others 'talking behind our backs' or slandering us. Our sponsors tell us that what 'they' think of us is none of our business. It can still be hard to take. It matters not if someone speaks badly of me; I live so no one will believe it. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I am not afraid of the silence. I find peace in this silence and I am able to listen to God's will for me. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote It's not a question of finding the right person, but becoming the right person. - Anon. |
January 18
Daily Reflections WOULD A DRINK HELP? By going back in our drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 23 When I was still drinking, I couldn't respond to any of life's situations the way other, more healthy, people could. The smallest incident triggered a state of mind that believed I had to have a drink to numb my feelings. But the numbing did not improve the situation, so I sought further escape in the bottle. Today I must be aware of my alcoholism. I cannot afford to believe that I have gained control of my drinking - or again I will think I have gained control of my life. Such a feeling of control is fatal to my recovery. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day The new life can't be built in a day. We have to take the program slowly, a little at a time. Our subconscious minds have to be re-educated. We have to learn to think differently. We have to get used to sober thinking instead of alcoholic thinking. Anyone who tries it, knows that the old alcoholic thinking is apt to come back on us when we least expect it. Building a new life is a slow process, but it can be done if we really follow the A.A. program. Am I building a new life on the foundation of sobriety? Meditation For The Day I will pray daily for faith, for it is God's gift. On faith alone depends the answer to my prayers. God gives it to me in response to my prayers, because it is a necessary weapon for me to possess for the overcoming of all adverse conditions and the accomplishments of all good in my life. Therefore, I will work at strengthening my faith. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may so think and live as to feed my faith in God. I pray that my faith may grow because with faith God's power becomes available to me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Companion and Partner, p. 18 "Dr. Bob was my constant companion and partner in the great A.A. adventure. As the physician and great human being he was, he chose work with others as his prime A.A. vocation and achieved a record which, in quantity and in quality, none will ever surpass. Assisted by the incomparable Sister Ignatia at St. Thomas Hospital in Akron, he--without charge--medically treated and spiritually infused five thousand sufferers. "In all the stress and strain of A.A.'s pioneering time, no hard word ever passed between us. For this, I can thankfully say that the credit was all his." << << << >> >> >> I took my leave of Dr. Bob, knowing that he was to undergo a serious operation. The old, broad smile was on his face as he said almost jokingly, "Remember, Bill, let's not louse this thing up. Let's keep it simple!" I turned away, unable to say a word. That was the last time I ever saw him. 1. Letter, 1966 2. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 214 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places The Greatest Thing In The World___Love and Goodwill In a famous sermon, Henry Drummond described love as a spectrum with nine ingredients. Love is patience, kindness, and generosity; it is humility, courtesy, and unselfishness. Finally, it is also good temper, gentleness, and sincerity. Drummond called love the "greatest thing in the world." Growth in sobriety includes improvement in all the nine ingredients that make up love. It has been fashionable in recent years to talk and sing about love as something the world needs, and we have an opportunity to practice love when we strengthen the qualities that make us loving people. And if we are uncomfortable with love as a word, we can call it goodwill. If we are practicing the elements of love or goodwill, we won't have to sing about it or tell people what we're doing. They will see the change in our own lives and will be attracted by it. Love acts the part, and even people who cannot define love will respond to it. If love is present in our AA activities, it will cover a multitude of sins and will make up for many other shortcomings. I'll try to practice the nine ingredients that make up love. Around difficult people, I'll remember that God's love is always present with us. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The reality is that changes are coming....they must come. You must share in bring them. --John Hersey Change. It's scary. It's hard. It's needed. Sometimes it feels bad. But one thing is for sure: it keeps on happening. Just when our life seems settled, it changes. We can't stop life. We can't stay this age forever. The world changes. Life moves on. There are always new things to do and learn. Changes means we're always beginners in some ways. We need to ask for wisdom and courage. We get it by listening, by praying, by meditating. When we ask, our Higher Power will teach us to be part of good changes. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me believe that Your plans call for good changes. Action for the Day: Today I'll think about the changes in my life. I've lived through a lot. I'll be okay when more changes come, with God's help. I can keep on growing. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning We are born in innocence. Corruption comes later. The first fear is a corruption, the first reaching for something that defies us. The first nuance of difference, the first need to feel better than the different one, more loved, stronger, richer, more blessed--these are corruptions. --Laura Z. Hobson We are corrupted. To be a human is to be corrupted. Our corruptions interfere with our happiness at the very time we are seeking happiness. When we think if only we were prettier, smarter, had a better job, then we'd be happy, we are giving in to corruptions. And these corruptions stifle our growth. We are each who we need to be. We have a supporting role in one another's lives. We can teach and learn from one another. Recovery is choosing to help ourselves and one another to be as we are; to quit making comparisons; to understand our equality as women; to celebrate our differences, knowing they give intensity to life's colors for us all. I can celebrate our special and different gifts today. My heart will be lightened. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an experience seems impossible, but to continue as he is means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. p. 44 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. I had completely forgotten the January 8 when I found the Fellowship, and I spent the next four days wandering around New England half drunk, by which I mean I couldn't get drunk and I couldn't get sober. I tried to contact the boys in New York, but telegrams bounced right back, and when I finally got Hank on the telephone he fired me right then. This was when I really took my first good look at myself. My loneliness was worse than it had ever been before, for now even my own kind had turned against me. This time it really hurt, more than any hangover ever had. My brilliant agnosticism vanished, and I saw for the first time that those who really believed, or at least honestly tried to find a Power greater than themselves, were much more composed and contented than I had ever been, and they seemed to have a degree of happiness I had never known. pp. 228-229 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." When the distortion has been great, however, a long period of patient striving may be necessary. After the husband joins A.A., the wife may become discontented, even highly resentful that Alcoholics Anonymous has done the very thing that all her years of devotion had failed to do. Her husband may become so wrapped up in A.A. and his new friends that he is inconsiderately away from home more than when he drank. Seeing her unhappiness, he recommends A.A.'s Twelve Steps and tries to teach her how to live. She naturally feels that for years she has made a far better job of living than he has. Both of them blame each other and ask when their marriage is ever going to be happy again. They may even begin to suspect it had never been any good in the first place. pp. 118-119 ************************************************** ********* Through morning prayers and meditation, we embark upon the day spiritually prepared. Without this preparation, we enter the day with yesterday's anxieties - our own and those of millions of others. --Marianne Williamson The value of persistent prayer is not that He will hear us, but we will finally hear Him. --William McGill I know and trust that God cares for me, and takes care of all my needs. --Shelley Give your friends and family the gift of kindness all throughout the year. Your body is your vehicle through life. Do you take better care of your body or your car? It seems in life that most of us end up doing things we don't enjoy. You can turn things that you don't enjoy into something you do by changing how you do those things AND changing how you view them. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation GLUTTONY "Gluttony is not a secret vice." -- Orson Welles The unspoken disease of food: hide in food, bury anger with food, cry behind food. Food addiction --- eating, forever dieting, starving --- is the hidden disease that is becoming more obvious. But are we talking about it? Recovering alcoholics minimize it and get lost in ice cream and doughnuts. For many people the pain around food is as real as alcohol or any other drug. And the family and relationships suffer. Today I am willing to talk about it. Spirituality affects all my life and this involves my eating habits and body weight. God does not make junk and so I choose not to eat junk. Today I choose to talk about the buried emotions that I am stuffing behind the food. That is a step towards living. When I bless the food at meal time, may I also bless my abstinence. ************************************************** ********* "And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You." Psalms 9:10 "May the LORD keep watch between you and me when we are away from each other. Genesis 31:49 It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:11-16 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Do not walk around with a long face. Radiate God's love. Lord, help me live my daily life with gratitude and peace from knowing that You are always with me. When you have faith in yourself and God, you will know that you are loved and safe and never alone. Lord, I am these things because You are always with me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The Simple Inventory " Continuing to take a personal inventory means that we form a habit of looking at ourselves, our actions, our attitudes, and our relationships on a regular basis." Basic Text, p. 41 The daily inventory is a tool we can use to simplify our lives. The most complicated part of taking a regular inventory is deciding how to start. Should we write it out? What should we examine? In how much detail? And how do we know when we've finished? In no time, we've turned a simple exercise into a major project. Here's one simple approach to the daily inventory. We set aside a few minutes at the close of each day to sit quietly and check out our feelings. Is there a knot, big or small, in our gut? Do we feel uncomfortable about the day we've just finished? What happened? What was our part in the affair? Do we owe any amends? If we could do it over again, what would we do differently? We also want to monitor the positive aspects of our lives in our daily inventory. What has given us satisfaction today? Were we productive? Responsible? Kind? Loving? Did we give unselfishly of ourselves? Did we fully experience the love and beauty the day offered us? What did we do today that we would want to do again? Our daily inventory doesn't have to be complicated to be effective. It is a very simple tool we can use to keep in daily touch with ourselves. Just for today: I want to keep in touch with the way I feel in living this life I've been given. At the end of this day, I will take a brief, simple inventory. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The stream that was locked up for the winter now ripples and gurgles along its way. --John F. Gardner Winter presents us with a frozen world, silent, sometimes forbidding. It seems like such a harsh time, forcing us indoors, letting us out only when we're wrapped in extra woolens, extra boots, extra hats and mittens. But beneath the snow's blanket, the earth is resting. Just as we sleep at night, the earth naps, nurturing its roost and bulbs, replenishing its moisture and minerals, refreshing itself. Spring is the earth's first stirring; it open's one eye, then another, wiggles a toe, stretches, yawns. The earth rises, shaking leaves off, brushing twigs away. It sends new shoots up to welcome the day. We, too, are part of nature, and as such we experience our own seasons. Sometimes we are happy, full of energy, always able to handle obstacles. When we are down; when things seem to be too much for us to handle, we must remember that it is natural and proper to feel that way, and that soon, without our even trying, a new season will lift our hearts. When I feel low, what can I do best? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Communication leads to community--that is, to understanding, intimacy, and mutual valuing. --Rollo May We have all thought, "If I tell the innermost things about myself, I will be rejected or put down." Most real communication actually creates the opposite of what we fear. In this program, when we lowered our barriers and let our brothers and sisters know us better, they liked us more and our bonds became stronger. Are we concerned today about feelings, we need to emphasize those that make us feel most vulnerable. The other side of communication is listening. In listening, our task is to hear without judgment and without trying to provide an answer or a cure for every pain. To express ourselves to others, to be fully understood, and to know we are understood will lift our hope and self-esteem. Today, I can make contact with people in my life by revealing my feelings to them and listening to what they are saying. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. We are born in innocence. Corruption comes later. The first fear is a corruption, the first reaching for something that defies us. The first nuance of difference, the first need to feel better than the different one, more loved, stronger, richer, more blessed--these are corruptions. --Laura Z. Hobson We are corrupted. To be a human is to be corrupted. Our corruptions interfere with our happiness at the very time we are seeking happiness. When we think if only we were prettier, smarter, had a better job, then we'd be happy, we are giving in to corruptions. And these corruptions stifle our growth. We are each who we need to be. We have a supporting role in one another's lives. We can teach and learn from one another. Recovery is choosing to help ourselves and one another to be as we are; to quit making comparisons; to understand our equality as women; to celebrate our differences, knowing they give intensity to life's colors for us all. I can celebrate our special and different gifts today. My heart will be lightened. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Gratitude Sometimes in life, things happen too fast. we barely solve one problem when two new problems surface. We're feeling great in the morning, but we're submerged in misery by nightfall. Every day we face interruptions, delays, changes, and challenges. We face personality conflicts and disappointments. Often when we're feeling overwhelmed, we can't see the lessons in these experiences. One simple concept can get us through the most stressful of times. It's called gratitude. We learn to say, thank you, for these problems and feelings. Thank you for the way things are. I don't like this experience, but thank you anyway. Force gratitude until it becomes habitual. Gratitude helps us stop trying to control outcomes. It is the key that unlocks positive energy in our life. It is the alchemy that turns problems into blessings, and the unexpected into gifts. Today, I will be grateful. I will start the process of turning today's pain into tomorrow's joy. My Higher Power guides me today. I can move forward with the faith and trust that I am lovingly being led along the way, a step at a time, a day at a time. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Set Yourself Free from Control You don’t have to let people control or manipulate you. You don’t have to scream and beat upon your breast, telling them they’re wrong, they cannot do that. That’s letting them control you. People are energy. Thoughts are energy. When someone tries to control, that energy limits love and growth. Any attempt to control other people, what they think or what they do, puts little strings, cords, tentacles that smother, hold back, and impact in ways that don’t heal. Control is not the way of the heart. It’s not the way of love. As you proceed along this journey, you will become increasingly sensitive to attempts to control. You will see and feel when its tentacles reach out to you. You will see and feel how control affects you, how it makes you feel, how it pulls at you, bothers you, annoys you. You don’t have to scream and yell. You can quietly recognize it as control. Whether the person is someone you love, an acquaintance, a business associate, a friend, or a family member, you can recognize control for what it is– a block to the heart, a hindrance to love. Set yourself free from control and manipulation. Love can’t be controlled. Open your heart and let love be. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of the past I was sitting outside on the patio one morning. A foggy mist gently covered the peaks of the Ortega Mountain Range. The birds were singing. My mind wandered back to ten years ago and my life in Minnesota with my children, Shane and Nichole. Shane was still alive then. Nichole was still living at home. Our love, our family bond, was so strong. “We’ll always get together for birthdays,” we had vowed. “Our bond, our love, will live on.” It had been the best year, the happiest year, of my life. I wanted that time back again. If I could just see him again, for one minute. If the three of us could just be together again, for one day, I yearned, life would be so good. Later that morning I picked up an Osho Zen meditation card– not to tell the future, but to get insights into now. My card talked about “clinging to the past.” It said, “It’s time to face up to the fact that the past is gone, and any effort to repeat it is a sure way to stay stuck in old blueprints that you would have already outgrown if you hadn’t been so busy clinging to what you have already been through.” “Silly me,” I thought, coming back to the patio and to the Ortega Mountain Range. “Even though life is different and I miss the children, life is pretty good now.” Let yourself have all your emotions and feelings about losing people and moments you loved and cherished. Feel as sad as you need to. Grieve. Then let the feelings and the past go. Don’t let your memories stop you from seeing how beautiful and precious each moment in your life is now. God, help me let go of yesterday so I can open my heart to the gifts of today. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day If we are determined to stop drinking or using other chemicals, there must be no reservations whatever, nor any lurking notion that our allergy of the body and obsession of the mind will some day reverse themselves. Our regeneration comes through the splendid paradox of the Twelve Steps: Strength arises from complete defeat, and the loss of one’s old life is a condition for finding a new one. Am I convinced that in powerlessness, Power comes? Am I certain that by releasing my life and will, I am released? Today I Pray May I know power through powerlessness, victory through surrender, triumph through defeat. May I learn to relinquish any trace of secret pride that I can “do it by myself.” Let my will be adsorbed and steered by the omnipotent will of God. Today I Will Remember Let Go and Let God ***************************************** One More Day Life’s a pretty precious and wonderful thing. You can’ sit down and let it lap around you . . . you have to plunge into it, you have to dive through it. – Kyle Crichton Life isn’t always carefree. Especially when we are suffering pain and discomfort, we may tend to back away from the mainstream. We’re just not sure how to behave in the face of new problems. We become confused about what we expect from others. Uncertain of what to do, we may be content for a while to let life lap around us. We find, however hard the lesson, that in order to be a participant, to get into the swing of things, we must dive back into life. No one is going to take care of all our needs. We are responsible for our actions. I have been confused how to continue living my life. Now I understand that I must plunge in again and get going. ************************************ Food For Thought Abstain or Overeat For the compulsive overeater, there is always one primary choice to be made. Will I abstain or will I overeat? For us, there is nothing in between. If we have hundreds of pounds to lose or if we have reached and are maintaining our goal weight, the choice is still the same. It is the key decision we make many, many times each day. We are free at each moment to choose which we will do. There is no magic, which will make us, abstains, and there is no force, which can compel us to swallow food we do not need. The choice is ours alone. No one graduates from OA. There is no point at which one can say, "This is it. I've got it made now." We are always aware of the fact that we are compulsive overeaters and are always one bite away from a binge. When we remember that abstaining or overeating is our primary choice, then other decisions become easier. To abstain is to choose life. To overeat is to choose death. May I maintain constant awareness of my primary choice. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ LOVING WORDS ~ One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter. James Earl Jones Many years ago I had difficulty in expressing feelings of love and caring and warmth and concern. Contrary to this, I had no difficulty in expressing criticism, unkind words or constant critiques. Over the years I have learned so much about myself and others ... and now I can express feelings to my friends and loved ones about everything. Those who are imprisoned by emotional constipation do little to make life better for themselves or for others. To be able to look at someone in your life and tell them you love them is such a beautiful gift. To tell a store clerk that you like something about them makes their heart sing. To look a little child in the eyes and tell them they have a good heart and you admire them takes them through the rest of the day on wings. One Day at a Time . . . Here's to letting the words out of hearts. ~ Mari ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. - Pg. 164 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Our freedom lies in recognizing the threefold illusion of this disease--mind (I can handle it), desire (it feels good), and flesh (I need it). These are all illusions which we soon will be liberated from. May I surrender my illusions about the 'goodness' of mind affecting chemicals for myself and any addict / alcoholic. Appreciating Life I have the gift of life. I am here. I am alive, with all of my senses and able to experience the magic of this incredible world. Whatever this day has in store for me - I am open to receive. I will act on my day and allow my day to act on me. I am open. I will take steps that I know will make my day feel good, productive and pleasurable, and then I will let the rest happen. Each day presents me with gifts and surprises, if I know how to unwrap the present - if I remember how to be pleased, moved and astonished by the wonders of this world. Life itself is the gift - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote And so our very best thoughts won't save us. When we are given a program of action, it tells us what to DO, not what to think. Think anything you want, just DO the suggestions (your thoughts will change). What can I do this moment to have an awesome day? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Today you are leading a life. When you were drinking, you were a life being led. Time for Joy - Book - Quote My Higher Power guides me today. I can move forward with the faith and trust that I am lovingly being led along the way, a step at a time, a day at a time. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The problem with relationships in early sobriety is that that person becomes my higher power. - Charlie C. |
January 19
Daily Reflections ROUND-THE-CLOCK FAITH Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.16 The essence of my spiritually, and my sobriety, rests on a round-the-clock faith in a Higher Power. I need to remember and rely on the God of my understanding as I pursue all of my daily activities. How comforting for me is the concept that God works in and through people. As I pause in my day, do I recall specific concrete examples of God's presence? Am I amazed and uplifted by the number of times this power is evident? I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my God's presence in my life of recovery. Without this omnipotent force in my every activity, I would again fall into the depths of my disease - and death. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day On the foundation of sobriety, we can build a life of honesty, unselfishness, faith in God, and love of our fellow human beings. We'll never fully reach these goals, but the adventure of building that kind of life is so much better than the merry-go-round of our old drinking life that there's no comparison. We come into A.A. to get sober, but if we stay long enough we learn a new way of living. We become honest with ourselves and with other people. We learn to think more about others and less about ourselves. And we learn to rely on the constant help of a Higher Power. Am I living the way of honesty, unselfishness, and faith? Meditation For The Day I believe that God had already seen my heart's needs before I cried to Him, before I was conscious of those needs myself. I believe that God was already preparing the answer. God does not have to be petitioned with sighs and tears and much speaking, before he reluctantly looses the desired help. He has already anticipated my every want and need. I will try to see this, as His plans unfold in my life. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may understand my real wants and needs. I pray that my understanding of those needs and wants may help to bring the answer to them. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Wine Of Success, p. 19 Disagreeable or unexpected problems are not the only ones that call for self-control. We must be quite as careful when we begin to achieve some measure of importance and material success. For no people have ever loved personal triumphs more than we have loved them; we drank of success as of a wine which could never fail to make us feel elated. Blinded by prideful self-confidence, we were apt to play the big shot. Now that we're in A.A. and sober, winning back the esteem of our friends and business associates, we find that we still need to exercise special vigilance. As an insurance against the dangers of big-shot-ism, we can often check ourselves by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace of God and that any success we may be having is far more His success than ours. 12 & 12, pp. 91-92 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Willpower Isn't the Power_____Power We almost universally agree that willpower simply does not work as a direct force in overcoming alcoholism. The alcoholic who believes that a strong will and determination bring sobriety is probably headed for disaster. In the same way, willpower is ineffective in dealing with a number of personal problems. In fact, the mustering of willpower seems to strengthen the problems or cuase them to take other forms. We know that we are using willpower on problems when there is a great deal of tension and anxiety in letting our Higher Power handle matters in a way that brings contentment and satisfaction. When excessive will is involved, we usually suppress feelings that ought to be expressed in positive ways. The solution is not to fight problems in ourselves or in the outer world. By turning all matters over to the Higher Will, we will find the best way to deal with the evils within ourselves and with the opposition in our world. "Self-will run riot" was a problem in drinking, and it can be equality destructive in sobriety. Our will should be joined with the Higher Will for true success in living. I will rely on my Higher power as I go through the day. God can do the many things I cannot do for myself. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Study sickness when you are well.---Thomas Fuller Now is the time to learn about our sickness--chemical dependency. It is a chronic illness. That means it never goes away. We have to live with it the best we can. Luckily, we can live with it--very well! Our program of recovery is so simple, and it feels so good, that we think we'll never give it up. But we can't take our recovery for granted. Our disease is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." The more we know about it, the less we'll let it fool us. Some days we may find we're headed toward a slip. We must learn to recognize the first trouble signs in ourselves so we can get help to stay sober. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, my addiction is "cunning, baffling, and powerful." Don't let me use alcohol or others drugs again. Thank you for my sobriety today. Action for the Day: Today, I'll learn my warning signs: I'll list ten old thoughts, feelings, and actions that were part of my illness. I'll share this with my sponsor. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The especial genius of women, I believe to be electrical in movement, intuitive in function, spiritual in tendency. --Margaret Fuller We are women, and we are moving, together and alone. We are moving into new images of ourselves. There is a healing power that comes from moving, from sharing one's ideas and changing one's self. And it is by trusting ourselves and trusting others that we bring harmony, thoughtfulness, and courage to all our actions. Life holds many possibilities, and we are able to realize them when we risk changing ourselves through taking action. Those of us struggling to recover are taking action; we are changing ourselves. And as we listen to and support one another, we encourage the necessary changes in our sisters. As one is healed, we are all healed. Today holds a special promise for me. I can be in harmony. I can share with others. My courage will strengthen others, and others will strengthen me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS But it isn’t so difficult. About half our original fellowship were of exactly that type. At first some of us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we were not true alcoholics. But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life—or else. Perhaps it is going to be that way with you. But cheer up, something like half of us thought we were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows that you need not be disconcerted. p. 44 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. Peddling off my polish samples for expenses, I crawled back to New York a few days later in a very chastened frame of mind. When the others saw my altered attitude they took me back in, but for me they had to make it tough; if they hadn't I don't think I ever would have stuck it out. Once again, there was the challenge of a tough job, but this time I was determined to follow through. For a long time the only Higher Power I could concede was the power of the group, but this was far more than I had ever recognized before, and it was at least a beginning. It was also an ending, for never since June 16th, 1938, have I had to walk alone. p. 229 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Compatibility, of course, can be so impossibly damaged that a separation may be necessary. But those cases are the unusual ones. The alcoholic, realizing what his wife has endured, and now fully understanding how much he himself did to damage her and his children, nearly always takes up his marriage responsibilities with a willingness to repair what he can and to accept what he can't. He persistently tries all of A.A.'s Twelve Steps in his home, often with fine results. At this point he firmly but lovingly commences to behave like a partner instead of like a bad boy. And above all he is finally convinced that reckless romancing is not a way of life for him. p. 119 ************************************************** ********* Knowing is not enough; We must Apply. Willing is not enough; We must Do. --Goethe I shall stay in this 24 hours, and leave tomorrows burdens, cares, and worries, in Gods hands. --Shelley It isn't enough to draw near to the light. Absorb it into you. Let it charge you and change you with its energy and its power. Healing is all around you. Wherever you are, whatever your resources, healing, energy, and joy are there. --Melody Beattie Speaking without thinking is shooting without aiming. -- French Proverb Three things that become more precious with age are old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to enjoy. "We never know the worth of water till the well is dry." --English proverb We in AA don't carry the alcoholic; we carry the message. We are not living just to be sober; we are living to learn, to serve, and to love. Don't mess up an amends with an excuse. The First Step identifies the problem. The remaining eleven Steps are the solution. S T E P S = Solutions To Every Problem, Sober. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation EQUALITY "Treat all men alike. Give them all the same laws. Give them all an even chance to live and grow." -- Chief Joseph Today it is important for me to remember that I am not the only human being in this universe; I need to respect and be considerate of others. Spirituality requires that I treat all people with dignity and respect because they carry something of God within them --- the image of God is with all men. In this way I show and give respect to self. As an alcoholic I was selfish and demanding, wanting my way all the time. Sobriety teaches me that "the way" must include others; my fellow men are part of my life and journey. I cannot live in isolation and be sober. O Spirit of the World, teach me to respect all men as a service to myself. ************************************************** ********* "Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." I Corinthians 15:58 How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise Him. Psalm 147:1 "However many years a man may live, let him enjoy them all." Ecclesiastes 11:8 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration People should be able to look at us and see that we are different. Lord, may I be an example of Your love and learn to rely on You at all times. Nothing is ever quite as bad as it seems. Call on God and then practice expectancy and optimism and things will turn out better than you expect. Lord, thank You for tomorrow. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Making Mountains Into Molehills " When we stop living in the here and now, our problems become magnified unreasonably." Basic Text, p. 96 Some of us seem to make mountains out of molehills with our problems. Even those of us who've found some measure of serenity have probably blown a problem far out of proportion at some time in our recovery-and if we haven't done so yet, we probably will before long! When we find ourselves obsessed with a complication in our lives, we will do well to sharply remind ourselves of all that is going right. Perhaps we're afraid we won't be able to pay our bills for the month. Instead of sitting at the calculator, adding our financial liabilities over and over, we can take stock of our efforts to reduce expenses. Following this mini-inventory, we continue with the task at hand and remind ourselves that as long as we are doing the footwork, a loving Higher Power will care for our lives. Mountain-sized problems happen sometimes, but we don't need to create them. Trust in a loving God of our understanding will put most of our problems in their proper perspective. We no longer need to create chaos to feel excited about our lives. Our recovery gives us countless real-life opportunities for excitement and drama. Just for today: I will take a realistic look at my problems and see that most of them are minor. I will leave them that way and enjoy my recovery. pg. 19 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. --Chinese proverb Even the strongest, most loving families always have room for growth. There is no such thing as a "perfect" family. If our family is far from perfect, that's okay. It only matters that we are working at getting better. Often, runners will say they can remember many days when they just did not feel like running; however, once they started, they felt more energy and were easily able to run the distance they had set for that day. Whatever we need to do, we can do in small acts--a chore done without being asked, a helping hand with the dishes, a soft word, a surprise gift for no reason. These are small things, easily done. Love is made of small things; what is large is the love with which they are accomplished. When we begin to work on our relationship with our family, we will feel the new energy, and quickly we will find ourselves making progress. What is the first thing I can do today to improve my relationship with my family? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Self-realization is not a matter of withdrawal from a corrupt world or narcissistic contemplation of oneself. An individual becomes a person by enjoying the world and contributing to it. --Francine Klagsbrun After we admitted our self-destructive patterns and gave them up, there were many days when we said, "Now what? Is that all there is? I need some answers. How should I live? How can I feel whole? How can I feel like a real person?" These questions may feel too painful to answer. These are among the first spiritual questions we encounter in recovery, and we must not hide or escape from them. They are valuable to us, and we need to follow their urgings. We are asking these questions as if they were new and unique. But through the centuries many people have asked them too. They found answers we can learn from. They tell us to get engaged with life, take time for reflection, learn to enjoy it where we can, and try to make a contribution. Today, I will listen to my questions and doubts as urgings from my Higher Power, pushing me to grow. I will be involved in living. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The especial genius of women, I believe to be electrical in movement, intuitive in function, spiritual in tendency. --Margaret Fuller We are women, and we are moving, together and alone. We are moving into new images of ourselves. There is a healing power that comes from moving, from sharing one's ideas and changing one's self. And it is by trusting ourselves and trusting others that we bring harmony, thoughtfulness, and courage to all our actions. Life holds many possibilities, and we are able to realize them when we risk changing ourselves through taking action. Those of us struggling to recover are taking action; we are changing ourselves. And as we listen to and support one another, we encourage the necessary changes in our sisters. As one is healed, we are all healed. Today holds a special promise for me. I can be in harmony. I can share with others. My courage will strengthen others, and others will strengthen me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Owning Our Power There is one feeling we need to pay particular attention to in recovery: feeling victimized. We do not need to become comfortable with that feeling. How do we feel when we've been victimized? Helpless. Rageful. Powerless. Frustrated. Feeling victimized is dangerous. Often, it can prompt us into addictive or other compulsive behaviors. In recovery, we're learning to identify when we're feeling victimized, when we are actually being victimized, and why we're feeling victimized. We're learning to own our power, to take care of ourselves, and to remove ourselves as victims. Sometimes, owning our power means we realize we are victimizing ourselves - and others are not doing anything to hurt us. They are living their lives, as they have a right to, and we are feeling victimized because we're attempting to control their process or we're unreasonably expecting them to take care of us. We may feel victimized if we get stuck in a codependent belief, such as. Other people make me feel.... Others hold the key to my happiness and destiny.... Or, I can't be happy unless another behaves in a particular way, or a certain event takes place... Other times, owning our power means we realize that we are being victimized by another's behavior. Our boundaries are being invaded. In that case, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves to stop the victimization; we need to set boundaries. Sometimes, a change of attitude is all that's required. We are not victims. We strive to have compassion for the person, who victimized us, but understand that compassion often comes later, after we've removed ourselves as victims in body, mind, and spirit. We also understand that too much compassion can put us right back into the victim slot. Too much pity for a person who is victimizing us may set up a situation where the person can victimize us again. We try not to force consequences or crises upon another person, but we also do not rescue that person from logical consequences of his or her behavior. If there is a part that is our responsibility to play in delivering those consequences, we do our part - not to control or punish, but to be responsible for ourselves and to others. We try to figure out what we may be doing that is causing us to feel victimized, or what part we are playing in the system, and we stop doing that too. We are powerless over others and their behavior, but we can own our power to remove ourselves as victims. Today, I will take responsibility for myself and. show it to others by not allowing myself to be victimized, I cannot control outcomes, but I can control my attitude toward being victimized. I am not a victim; I do not deserve to be victimized. My Higher Power guides me in making all healthy and positive decisions today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Honor the Process of Spiritual Growth Don’t wait for things to change. The change you’re waiting for will come from within you. Start to nurture yourself through each stage of your evolution, your spiritual growth. Waiting for things to change is a tiresome, irritating, process. But embracing our own emotions and growth is exciting. It can become a positive challenge that turns life into a vital, interactive process. The moment we surrender to this process, something happens. If we feel an emotion– an old, stuck, hardened chunk of emotion or a new one that has arisen along the path, we can release it and the belief attached to it: I am an alcoholic. Life has to be hard. I deserve to be punished. When we release the emotion and the belief, our body shifts. It detoxifies. Changes. A new lesson emerges. We discover we can choose joy, freedom, forgiveness. The lessons that can emerge are as unique as our old beliefs. We wrestle with each new lesson as it grows and appears in many different forms– on the job, in love relationships, in all areas of our lives. Soon we come to a new conclusion about ourselves, about life. I am lovable. I am creatively feeling what God and the universe have to offer me. I am free. I can bring my full essence and energy before the world. Then when we change, when our beliefs change, our lives change. The change we’ve been waiting for happens, but it happens as a result of our own evolutionary process– not because we waited for something or someone in our lives outside ourselves to change. Trust this process of change. Honor it, respect it, revere it. You no longer have to wait for something to happen. Something is happening right now; within you. Welcome the changes that can be yours. Let life help you, as you take an active part in creating these changes. Let the process become living, interactive, and magical. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go You’re connected to life and the universe “My friend died, and I was upset,” a man told me one day. “I took off on a trip, wandering around the Southwest, hiking through Bryce Canyon. I saw the snow in the caverns, the rich red carved peaks sticking up. I saw the vastness of the universe, and the beauty in all of it. I had set off on my trip to prove how unique and isolated I was in my grief. By the time the trip ended, I realized just how connected to this world I am.” Part of letting go is recognizing that you are part of this universe and not separate from it. Perhaps a situation has come up in your life recently that signals an ending– the passing of a relative, the end of a relationship, the loss of a job. The people we love and the things we do contribute to our sense of who we are. When the people and things we love are threatened, taken away, we can rebel. We want to hold on to the known and don’t want to see what’s on the other side. Let go of the uncontrollable in your life. You’re not a solitary being in this great universe, set to struggle against all of the forces; you’re part of the whole. And the changes that come– whether they’re joyous or sad, easy or difficult– are just a part of the growing process that each of us goes through. Feel the pain when you have a loss. Feel the joy when you triumph. Then let go and continue to grow. See how connected you are. God, help me recognize that I am a part of your creation and don’t need to fight it. Help me live in peace and celebration of life. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day It was far easier for me to accept my powerlessness over my addiction than it was for me to accept the notion that some sort of Higher Power could accomplish that which I had been unable to accomplish myself. Simply by seeking help and accepting the fellowship of others similarly afflicted, the craving left me. And I realized that if I was doing what I was powerless along to do, then surely I was doing so by some Power outside my own and obviously greater. Have I surrendered my life into the hands of God? Today I Pray May God erase in me the arrogant pride which keeps me from listening to Him. May my unhealthy dependence on chemicals and my clinging dependence on those nearby be transformed into reliance on God. Only in this kind of dependence/reliance on a Higher Power will I find my own transformation. Today I Will Remember I am God-dependent. ***************************************** One More Day Wisdom is knowing when you can’t be wise. Paul Engle Whenever we previously thought of wisdom we may either have imagined a venerated sage or a beloved grandparent. Or we may have thought of formal schooling and college degrees. We remember wisdom learned from our parents. We remember conveying similar ideas to our children. How many of us really remember the first time we had to answer, “I don’t know”? And what about the moment when it finally occurred to us that there are certain skills that we will never be able to develop? Understanding comes when we expand ourselves to our fullest capacities and accept ourselves just as we are. Then and only then are we wise. The more comfortable I become with my limitations, the more I can grow. Author Sefra Kobrin Pitzele ************************************ Food For Thought Be Not Anxious If we are conscientiously working the OA program, we may leave the results to our Higher Power. To worry is to insult God. When we admit that we are powerless over food and that our lives have become unmanageable, we can then ask for and receive strength and power beyond ourselves. When we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him, we are free to live without anxiety. At first, we are awkward. We turn over our problems and anxieties one minute and take them back the next. We forget that the Twelve Step program has worked for countless other compulsive people--alcoholics and drug addicts as well as overeaters. Doubting God's strength, we fall back on our own weakness, and the result is trouble. Through our contacts with OA members, we can see lives changed and people made new in body, mind, and spirit. These examples are convincing testimony to the efficiency of our Higher Power. The more we trust His will for us, the more He is able to work miracles in our lives. Take my anxieties, Lord. I pray that Thy will may be done. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ OPPORTUNITIES ~ Tiger, tiger, burning bright, In the forest of the night, What immortal hand or eye, could frame thy dreadful symmetry? William Blake This quote from mystic and poet William Blake expresses the sense of wonder and awe I have about God, who can make a being like a tiger, an aggressive carnivore. God, who I suppose to be kind and loving, makes beings that are potentially dangerous to me. The question "Why?" stirs in my mind, alongside fears about what God may have in store for me. "Fear of the Lord, is the beginning of wisdom," says one religious text. I can feel grateful for the stirring fear, and question, as the seeds of new wisdom. A quick thought enters, "I can also feel grateful for the chance to flex my faith muscles and to increase their strength. Maybe that's why God makes tigers and their ilk." A habit of staying detached from the emotions life arouses in me heightens my perceptions of what life has to offer, highlights what God has to offer in each situation and the reasons I have for being grateful. This is essential to my recovery. It's the spine of an attitude of gratitude that also nurtures remembrance of God, and conscious contact with Him. One Day at a Time . . . I thank God for what I have already learned, for all opportunities to learn more, and for the chance to perfect "skill in action" in my recovery way of life. ~ James ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be? - Pg. 53 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote We have been known to think that dishonesty with others was OK as long as it didn't 'hurt' them. We really don't know what will hurt another or not. Being dishonest with other people deprives them of the information they need to run their own lives. Honesty is honesty. Let me understand that 'little' dishonesties are a disservice to others as well as myself. I Will Be Me I will be me, today. One thing I never seem to do well at, is trying to be someone else. I can imitate and learn from others, but I cannot be them. Only they know how to do that, it's a natural outgrowth of all that they have experienced in life, of all they are. That's the bad news. The good news is no one can be me as well as me. Being me builds on who I already am. It's exercise for my personality and my spirit. If I allow myself to actualize my own unique gifts and visions they will have originality to them, a freshness. I am a better me than anyone else can be - Tian Dayton PhD "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Do not let the newcomer's inner child run our meetings. This is not play therapy. Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Everybody makes mistakes. Fools repeat them, the weak excuse them, only the wise admit and profit from them. If I really want to find a solution to my current quandary, I will. If not, I will find an excuse. Time for Joy - Book - Quote My Higher Power guides me in making all healthy and positive decisions today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote He who laughs, lasts. - Anon. |
January 20
Daily Reflections "WE PAUSE . . . AND ASK" As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.87 Today I humbly ask my Higher Power for the grace to find the space between my impulse and my action; to let flow a cooling breeze when I would respond with heat; to interrupt fierceness with gentle peace; to accept the moment which allows judgment to become discernment; to defer to silence when my tongue would rush to attack or defend. I promise to watch for every opportunity to turn toward my Higher Power for guidance. I know where this power is: it resides within me, as clear as a mountain brook, hidden in the hills - it is the unsuspected Inner Resource. I thank my Higher Power for this world of light and truth I see when I allow it to direct my vision. I trust it today and hope it trusts me to make all effort to find the right thought or action today. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In A.A., we're all through with lying, hangovers, remorse and wasted money. When we were drinking, we were only half alive. Now that we're trying to live decent, honest, unselfish lives, we're really alive. Life has a new meaning for us, so that we can really enjoy it. We feel that we're some use in the world. We're on the right side of the fence, instead of on the wrong side. We can look the world in the face instead of hiding in alleys. We come into A.A. to get sober and if we stay long enough, we learn a new way of living. Am I convinced that no matter how much fun I got out of drinking, that life was never as good as the life I can build in A.A.? Meditation For The Day I want to be at one with the Divine Spirit of the universe. I will set my deepest affections on things spiritual, not on things material. As we think, so we are. So I will think of and desire that which will help, not hinder, my spiritual growth. I will try to be at one with God. No human aspiration can reach higher than this. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may think love, and love will surround me. I pray that I may think health, and health will come to me. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Light From A Prayer, p. 20 "God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference." << << << >> >> >> We treasure our "Serenity Prayer" because it brings a new light to us that can dissipate our oldtime and nearly fatal habit of fooling ourselves. In the radiance of this prayer we see that defeat, rightly accepted, need be no disaster. We now know that we do not have to run away, nor ought we again try to overcome adversity by still another bulldozing drive that can only push up obstacles before us faster than they can be taken down. Grapevine, March 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places First things first____Order Busy people often declare, with some exasperation, that they cannot do everything at once. People with emotional problems, a group that includes many alcoholics, often feel that they are trying to do everything at once. Quite often, this pressure means that we waste our time fretting about all the things facing us, becoming totally ineffective as a result. The simple slogan "First things First" shows us how to set priorities in an orderly way. In every situation or problem, there is always one step we can take that is more important than the others. Following that, we find a step of second importance, another of third importance, and so on. Sometimes, a certain action comes first simply because other things depend on it. By using "First things first" as a guiding principle in our lives, we can live in an orderly, disciplined manner. If we have to reduce our activities, we can decide which few ought to retain. Having made these decisions, we can be at peace about our choices. We cannot do everything at once and we need not feel guilty about it. Knowing that order is Heaven's first law, I'll do things today in an orderly manner. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple SERVICE---A beautiful word fallen upon bad days.---Claude McKay Service is really a beautiful word. Service means respect. When we serve others we're part of the human race. We all need to help each other. Service is a sure way to stay sober. Helping someone else stay sober helps us stay sober. And service frees us from self-will. It teaches us about how to care for ourselves and others. It teaches us that we're worthwhile. It teaches us that we make a difference. Service keeps us feeling good. Am I quiet when the topic of service comes ap at meetings? If so, how can I change this? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, show me where I can be of help. Give me the courage to make a difference. Give me the courage to really serve others in need. Action for the Day: I'll list five ways service has made or can make my life better. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The pain of leaving those you grow to love is only the prelude to understanding yourself and others. --Shirley MacLaine Life is a process of letting go, letting go of conditions we can't control, letting go of people--watching them move out of our lives, letting go of times, places, experiences. Leaving behind anyone or anyplace we have loved may sadden us, but is also provides us opportunities for growth we hadn't imagined. These experiences push us beyond our former selves to deeper understandings of ourselves and of others. So often those experiences that sadden us, that trigger pain, are the best lessons life is able to offer. Experiencing the pain, surviving the pain that wrenches us emotionally, stretches us to new heights. Life is enriched by the pain. Our experiences with all other persons thereafter are deeper. Instead of dreading the ending of a time, the departure of a loved one, we must try to appreciate what we have gained already and know that life is fuller for it. Today will bring both goodbyes and hellos. I can meet both with gladness. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. pp. 44-45 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. Around this time our big A.A. book was being written and it all became much simpler; we had a definite formula which some sixty of us agreed was the middle course for all alcoholics who wanted sobriety, and that formula has not been changed one iota down through the years. I don't think the boys were completely convinced of my personality change, for they fought shy of including my story in the book, so my only contribution to their literary efforts was my firm conviction, being still a theological rebel, that the word God should be qualified with the phrase "as we understand him"--for that was the only way I could accept spirituality. p. 229 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." A.A. has many single alcoholics who wish to marry and are in a position to do so. Some marry fellow A.A.'s. How do they come out? On the whole these marriages are very good ones. Their common suffering as drinkers, their common interest in A.A. and spiritual things, often enhance such unions. It is only where "boy meets girl on A.A. campus," and love follows at first sight, that difficulties may develop. The prospective partners need to be solid A.A.'s and long enough acquainted to know that their compatibility at spiritual, mental, and emotional levels is a fact and not wishful thinking. They need to be as sure as possible that no deep-lying emotional handicap in either will be likely to rise up under later pressures to cripple them. The considerations are equally true and important for the A.A.'s who marry "outside" A.A. With clear understanding and right, grown-up attitudes, very happy results do follow. pp. 119-120 ************************************************** ********* I place my recovery in first place. --Shelley The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt. --Leo Buscaglia Today, help me God, to let go of my resistance to change. Help me to be open to the process. Help me believe that the place I will be dropped off will be better than the place I was picked up. Help me to surrender, trust and accept, even if I don't understand. --Melody Beattie And we should not be discouraged because answers do not come immediately. "You can read all the manuals on prayer and listen to other people pray, but until you begin to pray yourself you will never understand prayer. It's like riding a bicycle or swimming: You learn by doing." --Evangelist Luis Palau "There are prayers that help us last through the day, or endure the night. There are prayers of friends and strangers that give us strength for the journey. And there are prayers that yield our will to a will greater than our own." --President George W. Bush ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation BELIEF "One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interest." -- John Stuart Mill I believe in sobriety because it works for me. I believe in sobriety because it makes me feel good about myself. I believe in sobriety because it has enabled me to rejoin the human race; I was so tired of feeling lonely, ashamed and isolated. Also this belief I have in me has rekindled a positive relationship with my higher power. Today God is a friend. Today I understand more about what He wants for me. Today I am broad enough in my thinking to find God in anything that is positive and creative --- from music to hugs in the park! Belief has developed with my spiritual program, and I am able to face the daily pains and conflicts of life. Today I know what it is to be a winner --- and, thank God, it doesn't mean I have to be perfect or in control. My total belief in God and self enables me to love me through my failings. Master of the beliefs of all men, thank You for the gift of my believing in myself. ************************************************** ********* He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3 "This, then, is how you should pray: "`Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. Matthew 6:9-13 "Jesus spoke a parable to them, that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." Luke 18:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Each of us can change the world one person at a time. Lord, grant that I may be a positive influence on just one person today. You have a responsibility to be the best that you can be. Lord, may I find a good balance in my life so that I neither neglect myself and my duties nor my responsibility to those that need or depend on me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today One Promise, Many Gifts " Narcotics Anonymous offers only one promise, and that is freedom from active addiction..." Basic Text, p. 102 Imagine how it might be if we had arrived at the doors of Narcotics Anonymous, desperate, wanting to stop using drugs, only to be met by a sales pitch: "If you just work the steps and don't use drugs, you'll get married, live in the suburbs, have 2.6 children, and start wearing polyester. You will become a responsible, productive member of society and be fit company for kings and presidents. You will be rich and have a dynamic career." Most of us, greeted with such a heavy-handed spiel, would have shrieked and bolted for the door. Instead of high-pressure nonsense and frightening predictions, we are greeted with a promise of hope: freedom from active addiction. We feel a blessed relief come over us when we hear that we never have to use drugs again. We aren't going to be forced to become anything! Of course, after some time in recovery, good things start happening in our lives. We are given gifts-spiritual gifts, material gifts, gifts that we've always dreamed of but never dared hope we'd get. These, however, are truly gifts-they are not promised to us just because we become NA members. All we are promised is freedom from addiction-and it's more than enough! Just for today: I have been promised freedom from active addiction. The gifts I receive are the benefits of recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. The power of a man's virtue should not be measured by his special efforts, but by his ordinary doing. --Blaise Pascal The airplane kit is on the table in front of us. We have the glue, the little wooden pieces, and the instructions. We work for hours putting together each piece, step by step. A dab of glue here, a clamp there, maybe some rubber bands to hold the bigger pieces together. We work slowly, allowing the glue to set overnight, even though we want to see it fly right now. We follow each step in order, even though we think we know how to do it on our own. Patience is the most important asset we bring to this activity--the willingness to allow each step its own time and proper place. After we've done all the careful work and waited till the glue is firm, we take it out for a trial flight. It soars! So do we, when we allow ourselves time to learn each step of the way. What part of my future am I assembling today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. How good and how pleasant it is that brothers sit together. --Psalm 133 Men are lonely and more vulnerable to addictions and codependency when they have no firm friendships with other men. Do we have one or two male friends who truly know us, know what really goes on in our lives, what we feel, and what our doubts are? If we do, these relationships are precious. We need to nourish them. If we do not, we need to find others who might become friends. We begin by taking small steps in the development of a friendship. The joys of sharing with other men, finding humor in our mutual flaws, and joining in similar interests have no substitutes. Relationships develop when someone reaches out. It is easier for us to do this if we remember our friendship is a gift to someone else. We need friendships with both women and men in order to be whole. But understanding ourselves as men begins with closeness to other men. I am grateful for precious friendships with men and women in my life. They help me grow. Today, can I strengthen my friendship with another man? You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The pain of leaving those you grow to love is only the prelude to understanding yourself and others. --Shirley MacLaine Life is a process of letting go, letting go of conditions we can't control, letting go of people--watching them move out of our lives, letting go of times, places, experiences. Leaving behind anyone or anyplace we have loved may sadden us, but is also provides us opportunities for growth we hadn't imagined. These experiences push us beyond our former selves to deeper understandings of ourselves and of others. So often those experiences that sadden us, that trigger pain, are the best lessons life is able to offer. Experiencing the pain, surviving the pain that wrenches us emotionally, stretches us to new heights. Life is enriched by the pain. Our experiences with all other persons thereafter are deeper. Instead of dreading the ending of a time, the departure of a loved one, we must try to appreciate what we have gained already and know that life is fuller for it. Today will bring both goodbyes and hellos. I can meet both with gladness. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. New Beginnings Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving others and ourselves. Resentments do not punish the other person; they punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. They prevent us from being in harmony with the world. Resentments are hardened chunks of anger. They loosen up and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go. Letting go of resentments does not mean we allow the other person to do anything to us that he or she wants. It means we accept what happened in the past, and we set boundaries for the future. We can let go of resentments and still have boundaries. We try to see the good in the person or the good that ultimately evolved from whatever incident we feel resentful about. We try to see our part. Then we put the incident to rest. Praying for those we resent helps. Asking God to take our resentments from us helps too. What better way to begin a New Year than by cleaning the slate of the past, and entering this one free of resentments. Higher Power, help me become ready to let go of my resentments. Bring any resentment that is hidden within me, and blocking me, to the surface. Show me what I need to do to take care of my self by letting go of resentments, and then help me do that. I choose to live in the light of my truth today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Learn When It’s Time to Adapt Life is constantly changing. So are we. With change comes the need to learn to adapt. Some adaptation comes naturally. On my trip, I watched even the subtle changes in my body as I traveled from climate to climate. In the warm, dry climate of Arizona, I needed more water. My body needed lotion, my hair different shampoo and conditioner. In the higher mountain climates, I found myself breathing differently, needing to give myself more time to rest. People who live in different places and different cultures adapt to the climate and ways of the world around them. We can learn to adapt to the situations in our life,too– to the constant evolution of the world around us. At home, at work, within our social groups, change is constantly taking place. Most of us are constantly on the move– meeting new people, being exposed to new situations, or needing to deal with situations that have themselves changed. There are times when we can’t adapt to the changes around us. When no matter how hard we try, we cannot force ourselves into the new circumstance. Our body won’t allow it because this change isn’t right for us. We need to learn to adapt to change but we also need to learn to tell when a situation is wrong for us and not force ourselves to fit. Be sensitive to this changes both subtle and dramatic around you– and in you. Give yourself time and freedom to adapt to these changes and figure out what they mean to you. Give yourself time to catch up. Be gentle with yourself. Listen to your needs. Let yourself adapt to the changes that are right for you. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go We can go only so far There is no such thing as complete acceptance. When we can remember a loss with a little distance and much less pain, you have accepted the loss and mourned it fully. You accept that life is different now and move on. –David Viscott, Emotionally Free There are certain events that we may never accept fully. What can be accepted, though, is that we are required to live with these losses and find a way to go on. Some people were horribly abused in childhood, beyond what anyone can be expected to endure. Some of us have experienced unthinkable losses later on in life. A spouse may have betrayed us. We may have lost our family through divorce. We may have lost our physical health through an accident or illness. A loved one may have died. It’s okay to stop waiting for and expecting total acceptance of the unthinkable in your life. Instead, gently do one thing each day to demonstrate that you’re willing to move forward with your life. God, grant me compassion for myself and others. Help me learn to be gentle with broken hearts, including my own. Activity: Make a list of all the questions you have for God, the “why’s.” For instance, why did so-and-so have to die, why did I have to lose my family, why did this have to happen to me? Then, as much as possible, do not dwell on those questions. Trust you’ll get your answers possibly later, possibly when you can talk to your Higher Power face-to-face. For now, let those questions be the unsolved mysteries of life. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day The first psychiatrist to recognize the work of Alcoholics Anonymous, Dr. Harry Tiebout, used many concepts of The Program in his own practice. Over many years, the doctor’s study of the conversion experience” led him to see, first, that it is the act of surrender which initiates the switch from negative to positive; sound, that the positive phase is really a state of surrender which initiates the switch from negative to positive; second, that the positive phase is really a state of surrender which follows the act of surrender; and third, that the state of surrender, if maintained, supplies an emotional tone to all thinking and feeling that insures healthy adjustment. Am I living in a constant state of surrender? Today I Pray May I understand that I do not have to “unlearn”: my respect for “self-reliance,” that trait of character which I heard praised so often from the time I was a tiny child. Only my understanding of the word must change. For as I come to know that “self” is part of god, that I am nothing except in His Being, there is no quarrel between self-reliance and God-reliance. May I rely upon that self which is God’s. Today I Will Remember Not part-god, but part of God. ***************************************** One More Day Life is full of internal dramas . . . played to an audience of one. – Anthony Powell Our lives are filled with dramas. Some of them we were able to talk about to similarly involved people, and some, we found, had to remain private. Heath changes can create hundreds of new dramas. In the beginning far too many of us made the mistake of telling our experiences to anyone who asked. We talked too often, too long, and too much. We are learning that gently lesson of who, when, and how much to tell — selectivity. We discover that no one really wants to be always involved in our dramas, in each tiny success or failure. We can keep our own counsel and give ourselves private praise. I can choose when — and when not — to share some of the dramas in my life. ************************************ Food For Thought Avoiding Binge Foods Most compulsive overeaters react to refined sugar and flour the way an alcoholic reacts to alcohol. One bite and we sooner or later go on a binge. We find it impossible to eat a controlled amount of food, which contains refined sugar or flour, and we inevitably end up with a hangover from our excesses. Many of us have other binge foods as well. We have learned from sad experience that it is easier to avoid these foods entirely than to try to eat them in reasonable amounts. We have to be rigorously honest with ourselves in order to determine which food plan is best for each of us as an individual. No food is worth the anguish of a binge. Once we accept this, we can accept the necessity of abstaining from personal binge foods. Abstinence means freedom from the obsession with food and from the compulsion to overeat. Freedom to live without overeating is the reward we gain when we avoid the foods that trigger our compulsion. May I realize that avoiding binge foods is a small price to pay for freedom. ***************************************** One Day At A Time New Worlds “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” Anais Nin Most of us are so compulsive at almost everything we do, that allowing people in to know our garbage of the past and present is unheard of. You go to a meeting, find a new recovery friend, and that friend opens a new door. You and that friend step through and WOW, the world in that room looks great! Later at another meeting, you meet another recovery friend and another door is opened. You and your two new friends step through and you find an even better world view. This continues to happen meeting after meeting, Step after Step, room after room and your personal life begins to look much brighter and more beautiful. You find that there really is hope. Funny how it's still the same world, but friends, recovery and Higher Power make it a much better world view. One Day at a Time . . . I will never end this beautiful cycle of finding new worlds as long as I never lose sight of my Higher Power, my recovery friends and my recovery program. ~ Jeanette ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly and exception, will be ABSOLUTELY UNABLE TO STOP DRINKING ON THE BASIS OF SELF-KNOWLEDGE. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience. - Pg. 39 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Right now you don't have to pretend to be someone you are not. You don't have to pretend to be strong (if you're a man) or weak (if you're a woman). You don't have to pretend that you don't want to use, if you do--share what is real. We can't help if we don't know the truth. Grant me the courage to simply be who I am, say what is real in my gut, and respond genuinely to others. Endless Opportunities I can start over each day. I can start over each hour of each day. The universe is impersonal in that sense. It's always waiting for me to tell it what I want. Like attracts like. I tell the world what I want more of, by what I am thinking and feeling right now, right this minute. Today, every hour on the hour, I will allow myself to see something positive about my day. I'll let myself send out an order by my pleasant thoughts and feelings for more of the same. When I catch myself heading down a negative path I'll stop and consciously observe what is going through my mind. Life is full of chances and so is my day. I can start it over any time I want to. I shift my life a thought at a time - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'Thoroughly have we seen a person fail who has rarely followed our path.' This is an interesting slip of the tongue from Chapter Five of Alcoholic's Anonymous. Yet it contains a lot of wisdom. I cannot work the steps too soon, because I do not know how soon it may be too late. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Be careful of your thoughts; they may become words at any moment. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I choose to live in the light of my truth today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I don't have a drinking problem today, I have a sobriety problem. If I pick up a drink, I've got a whole new problem. - Barney M. |
January 21
Daily Reflections SERVING MY BROTHER The member talks to the newcomer not in a spirit of power but in a spirit of humility and weakness. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE p. 279 As the days pass in A.A., I ask God to guide my thoughts and the words that I speak. In this labor of continuous participation in the Fellowship, I have numerous opportunities to speak. So I frequently ask God to help me watch over my thoughts and my words, that they may be the true and proper reflections of our program; to focus my aspirations once again to seek His guidance; to help me be truly kind and loving, helpful and healing, yet always filled with humility, and free from any trace of arrogance. Today I may very well have to deal with disagreeable attitudes or utterances -- the typical stock-in-trade attitude of the still-suffering alcoholic. If this should happen, I will take a moment to center myself in God, so that I will be able to respond from a perspective of composure, strength and sensibility. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day To grasp the A.A. program, we have to think things out. Saint Paul said: "They are transformed by the renewing of their minds." We have to learn to think straight. We have to change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. We must build up a new way of looking at things. Before we came into A.A., we wanted an artificial life of excitement and everything that goes with drinking. That kind of life looked normal to us then. But as we look back now, that life looks the exact opposite of normal. In fact, it looks most abnormal. We must reeducate our minds. Am I changing from an abnormal thinker to a normal thinker? Meditation For The Day I will take the most crowded day without fear. I believe that God is with me and controlling all. I will let confidence be the motif running through all the crowded day. I will not get worried, because I know that God is my helper. Underneath are the everlasting arms. I will rest in them, even though the day be full of things crowded in upon me. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may be calm and let nothing upset me. I pray that I may not let material things control me and choke out spiritual things. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Citizens Again, p. 21 "Each of us in turn--that is, the member who gets the most out of the program--spends a very large amount of time on Twelfth Step work in the early years. That was my case, and perhaps I should not have stayed sober with less work. "However, sooner or later most of us are presented with other obligations--to family, friends, and country. As you will remember, the Twelfth Step also refers to 'practicing these principles in all our affairs.' Therefore, I think your choice of whether to take a particular Twelfth Step job is to be found in your own conscience. No one else can tell you for certain what you ought to do at a particular time. I just know that you are expected, at some point, to do more than carry the message of A.A. to other alcoholics. In A.A. we aim not only for sobriety--we try again to become citizens of the world that we rejected, and of the world that once rejected us. This is the ultimate demonstration toward which Twelfth Step work is the first but not the final step." Letter, 1959 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Giving Wisely is Safe___ Helping others. Most of us admit that we were selfish people when we drank. Even when we brought drinks for others, we did so either to seek their approval or in the expectancy that they would return the favor. Our need in sobriety is to become unselfish by giving freely and cheerfully of ourselves. This, too, has its pitfalls. Feeling guilty about past selfish-ness, we may go overboard in helping others do things that they need to do for themselves. This can only lead to failure and disillusionment. It is common to hear AA members complain about people who are not in recovery despite help extended to them in finding a job, a place to live, and other necessities. But in giving, it is not always right tolook for a "guid pro quo"… something in return….or even for the others person's recovery and well-being. It's best to let the giving itself be its own reward. If we fel good about what we have done, we probably are doing the right things. Later on, when additional and unexpected rewards come to us, we can accept them as bonuses. I can make progress in overcoming selfishness and self-centeredness if I give selflessly to others and take an honest interest in their problems. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple What is defeat?...Nothing but the first step to something better.------- Wendell Phillips A man walks into a meeting. He says," I surrender. I can't drink like other folks." We smile and welcome him. We know that feeling. All of us in the program must admit defeat. Our illness is more powerful than we are. We begin recovery when we surrender. Admitting defeat is our first step into a beautiful world. Like all first steps, it's hard. But what a world we find ourselves in! A world where we count. A world where all are really equal! This first step brings us into God's world of care. We get love. We give love. We stay sober because daily we admit defeat. Prayer for the Day: In surrender, I can't drink and use other drugs. I'm different. Higher Power, help me surrender daily. Action for the Day: Every so often, I need to admit defeat and talk about what it was like, what happened, and where I am now. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Too many activities, and people, and things. Too many worthy activities, valuable things, and interesting people. For it is not merely the trivial which clutters our lives but the important as well. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh We need interaction with others, and we need activities. We have many gifts to offer those who cross our paths, and we need the many gifts they have to offer us. But we soon have little to share, to give to others, if we neglect the special times, the empty spaces needed for nurturing the soul. Some time away from people, activities, and things, some time away to commune with God, to seek guidance, to seek security in the fullest sense, will prepare us to better give our gifts to others. That time alone will also ready us to accept others' gifts to us. It is true we find God's message in others. But the time alone with God lowers the barriers that too often prevent us from hearing another of God's messages as expressed through the friends and even foes who cross our paths. My gift to myself is some time alone. I deserve that gift today and every day. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Lack of power, that was our dilemma. we had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power? Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God. Here difficulty arises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored. p. 45 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. After the book appeared, we all became very busy in our efforts to save all and sundry, but I was still actually on the fringes of A.A. While I went along with all that was done and attended the meetings, I never took an active job of leadership until February 1940. Then I got a very good position in philadelphia and quickly found i would need a few fellow alcoholics around me if I was to stay sober. Thus I found myself in the middle of a brand new group. When I started to tell the boys how we did it in New York and all about the spiritual part of the program, I found they would not believe me unless I was practicing what I preached. Then I found that as I gave in to this spiritual or personality change I was getting a little more serenity. In telling newcomers how to change their lives and attitudes, all of a sudden I found I was doing a little changing myself. I had been too self-sufficient to write a moral inventory, but I discovered in pointing out to the new man his wrong attitudes and actions that I was really taking my own inventory, and that if I expected him to change I would have to work on myself too. This change has been a long, slow process for me, but through these latter years the dividends have been tremendous. pp. 229-230 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." And what can be said of many A.A. members who, for a variety of reasons, cannot have a family life? At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them. If they cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them satisfactions of similar worth and durability? Yes--whenever they try hard to seek them out. Surrounded by so many A.A. friends, these so-called loners tell us they no longer feel alone. In partnership with others--women and men--they can devote themselves to any number of ideas, people, and constructive projects. Free of marital responsibilities, they can participate in enterprises which would be denied to family men and women. We daily see such members render prodigies of service, and receive great joys in return. p. 120 ************************************************** ********* When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm. --Sherrie R. God claims by grace those who have no claim to grace. "In any moment of decision, The best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing." --President Theodore Roosevelt "Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." --Henry Ward Beecher Someone once said that it's bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips! So, keep laughing, everyone! --unknown The best way to get the last word is to apologize. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation TOLERANCE "The price of freedom of religion or of speech or of the press is that we must put up with, and even pay for, a good deal of rubbish." -- Justice Robert Jackson I need to be tolerant in my sobriety. I need to allow others to say what they feel and live according to their standards. I was intolerant towards people who were different from myself. Much of what I criticized yesterday, I accept today; some things I still reject. To love a person should not require "sameness"; equally, I can accept a person without agreeing with what they say or how they behave. Disagreements and conflicts lead to growth; change requires a variety of forces. Not everything I say to do is "pure" --- and that has become the key to the acceptance of others. My history teaches me that I benefit from the variety of opinions that are represented in mankind. Lord, You have created many ways to Truth, may I appreciate them through the experiences of others. ************************************************** ********* "Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock." Matthew 7:24 "Beloved, we are God's children now." 1 John 3:2 So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field God's building. 1 Corinthians 3:7-9 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration When your burdens seem heavier than usual, know that your blessings are more than usual. Lord, I call on You for the strength, the wisdom and the confidence that I will need today. God values us so much that He gave us all that He has; His Son Jesus. Show that you value Him, too, by putting Him first in all aspects of your life. Lord, when I put You first in my life, order and peace follow. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Unity And Uniformity " Unity is a must in Narcotics Anonymous." Basic Text p. 60 Unity is not uniformity. Unity springs from the fact that we have unity of purpose-to recover, and to help others stay clean. Even so, we often find that while we strive to fulfill the same purpose, our means and methods may be radically different. We can't impose our ideas of unity on others or confuse unity with uniformity. In fact, a big attraction of the NA program is the absence of uniformity. Unity springs from our common purpose, not from standards imposed on the group by a few well-meaning members. A group that has the unity which springs from the loving hearts of its members allows each addict to carry the message in his or her own unique way. In our dealings with each other in NA, we sometimes disagree rather vocally. We must remember that the details of how we get things done isn't always important, so long as we keep our focus on the group's primary purpose. We can watch members who vehemently disagree over trivial things pull together when a newcomer reaches out for help. Someone was there for us when we got to the rooms of NA. Now it is our turn to be there for others. We need unity to help show the newcomer that this way of life works. Just for today: I will strive to be a part of unity. I know that unity does not equal uniformity. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. If you realize you aren't so wise today as you thought you were yesterday, you're wiser today. --Olin Miller Smug was a kitten who thought she knew everything. She knew how to clean herself with her sandpaper tongue, how to sleep, eat, and keep warm, and how to sharpen her tiny claws. One day, her mother wanted to teach Smug to climb trees. I don't need to learn this, thought Smug, I already know everything I need to know. Without much interest, Smug watched her mother climb a tall tree and come down again. When it was Smug's turn, she said, "I'll stay on the ground where it's safe." Just then, a large black dog came trotting around the corner. Aren't we often like Smug, certain that we know all we need to know, or that we really don't need to know something another is trying to teach us? When we rid ourselves of the pride that keeps us from learning these things, we'll feel a little safer if any big black dogs come around the corner. And we will have grown smarter by recognizing our need to know more. Am I smart enough to admit my need to learn more today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. There are things for which an uncompromising stand is worthwhile. --Dietrich Bonhoeffer For many of us, a time came when we said; "I'm not going to live this way anymore!" This was a deep, internal decision for change, even though we didn't know how it would come about. Somehow we had reached bottom, and we no longer debated about whose fault our problems were. We quit negotiating over what we would change and what we would not change. We were willing to put all our energy into finding a better life, no matter what it would require. That is the kind of inner readiness that finally made real change possible. Such willingness to take an uncompromising stand and give ourselves totally to a worthwhile cause is a model for our lives. It's the beginning of deep change. Many men and women have taken similar heroic stands for other causes, like world peace, compassion for the poor and hungry, human rights, and protection of the environment. On this day, I will take a stand for what is worthwhile. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Too many activities, and people, and things. Too many worthy activities, valuable things, and interesting people. For it is not merely the trivial which clutters our lives but the important as well. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh We need interaction with others, and we need activities. We have many gifts to offer those who cross our paths, and we need the many gifts they have to offer us. But we soon have little to share, to give to others, if we neglect the special times, the empty spaces needed for nurturing the soul. Some time away from people, activities, and things, some time away to commune with God, to seek guidance, to seek security in the fullest sense, will prepare us to better give our gifts to others. That time alone will also ready us to accept others' gifts to us. It is true we find God's message in others. But the time alone with God lowers the barriers that too often prevent us from hearing another of God's messages as expressed through the friends and even foes who cross our paths. My gift to myself is some time alone. I deserve that gift today and every day. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Wants and Needs Part of taking responsibility for us means taking responsibility for what we want and need, and knowing that's okay to do. Learning to tune in to us, learning to listen to ourselves, is an art. It takes practice. We can use our ability to guess what others want and need/ and apply that skill to ourselves. What does it sound like we might want and need? What would we guess would help us feel better? What are our feelings telling us? Our body? Our mind? Our intuition? If we ask, then listen closely; well hear the answer. We are wiser than we think, and we can be trusted. What we want and need counts. It's important, and it's valid. It's okay to learn to participate in meeting our own needs. We can learn to identify what we want and need and be patient with ourselves while we're learning. Today, I will pay attention to what I want and need. I will not discount myself. As I continue to grow on my spiritual path to recovery, I bask in the miracles of transformation and healing that are taking place in my life today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Discover Your Own Truth No truth is ours until we make it our own. All the truths in the world don’t matter unless and until we discover them to be true for ourselves. That’s what the journey is about. An insight, a lesson, a new belief is at the end of each adventure– whether that adventure happens in a moment, an hour, a day, or a year. This lesson doesn’t come from books, although books might help along the way. It doesn’t come from classes or lectures or well-meaning friends. The lesson we’re seeking comes from inside us, from our hearts, from our deep abiding connection to consciousness and the truth. It springs quietly from within us as we notice one day that we believe something new, something different, something more free, more fun, and more life-enhancing than what we believed before. For a moment we may turn back and say, Why didn’t I know that? Why didn’t I see that before? Then we step back on our path, laugh, and go on our way understanding that is why we are really here. Not to know everything in advance. But to allow ourselves to go freely through all the lessons that teach us all we came here to learn. You are on a journey of discovery. Find out what’s true for you. Remember. A truth isn’t yours until it rings true for you. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Try sharing with someone else When we hoard what we have been given, we block the door to receiving more. If you are feeling stagnant in your life, share some of what has been given to you. Let go of some of the sorrow that you have experienced by sharing your experience and the compassion that you have learned from it with another. Share your success by teaching someone else your methods. Share in the abundance given to you; donate to a favorite charity or church. Give of your time, your money, your abilities. When you give, you open the door to receive more. Sharing your experience, strength, and hope is key in a Twelve Step program. It’s a key to all of life, whether we’re recovering from addictions or not. Find some way to share yourself. Maybe it will be as simple as picking up the tab at lunch. Volunteer to help with a local project. Just find one small way to give. Give without any thought of compensation. Don’t look for a thank you; give without expectation. Be aware of how you feel in the act of sharing; be aware of the glow that you feel in the deepest part of your soul. Then, do it again. Keep sharing small pieces of your gifts– your experience, strength, and hope– until sharing becomes a natural part of you. Open your heart to all you’ve been given by sharing your gifts with someone else. That small glow you first felt in the bottom of your soul will soon overflow in your life. Maybe we gave compulsively and without joy at some time in our lives. The answer isn’t to permanently stop giving, It’s to learn to give with joy. God, help me give abundantly of what’s been given to me. Teach me how to give, so that both my giving and my receiving are healthy and free from attachments. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Every person, no matter what his or her balance for good or evil, is a part of the Divine economy. We are all children of God, and it is unlikely that He intends to favor one over another. So it is necessary for all of us to accept whatever positive gifts we receive with a deep humility, always bearing in mind that our negative attitudes were first necessary as a means of reducing us to such a state that we would be ready for a gift of the positive ones via the conversion experience. Do I accept the fact that my addiction and the bottom I finally reached are the bedrock upon which my spiritual foundation rests? Today I Pray May I know that from the first moment I admitted my powerlessness, God-give power was mine. Every step taken from that moment of defeat has been a step in the right direction. The First Step is a giant st4ep. Though it is often taken in despair, may I realize that I must be drained of hope before I can be refilled with fresh hope, sapped of wilfulness before I can feel the will of God. Today I Will Remember Power through powerlessness. ***************************************** One More Day Historic continuity with the past is not a duty, it is a necessity. – Oliver Wendell Holmes Our personal histories mark the pathways of life. Our having lived and loved and worked makes a difference in thousands of ways. This impact on life is a history and heritage for our loved ones and for ourselves. What memories have we created for those we love? Perhaps quilts that will be treasured as family heirlooms. A family farm or profession? But what else? Even more important than heirlooms and family jobs are loving memories and personal histories. Recorded histories, especially anecdotal, can be written or tape recorded. Pictures can be taken, and older photos can be labeled for the generations to come. What will we leave when we die? Communication, tradition, and the ability to love unconditionally. This small but important moment is a good time to record my journey thus far and to affirm my sense of continuity. ************************************ Food For Thought Service We compulsive overeaters have often spent our lifetimes being most concerned with getting, taking in, and consuming. Nourishing ourselves is necessary, but it is also necessary that we give. To stay alive, one must breathe out as well as in. As we recover, we become stronger each day and better able to serve others. When we stop eating compulsively, we are amazed at the amount of time and energy we have available for useful activities. For one thing, we feel much better physically, since we are eating the amount and type of food, which our bodies need for optimum functioning. For another, we become stronger emotionally and spiritually as we work the Twelve Steps. Each day, we can be open to opportunities to serve our OA groups, families, and friends. As we give out more and take in less, we gain new satisfaction and self-respect. Show me where I may serve, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ POSITIVE THINKING ~ Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. Zig Ziglar I came into Twelve Step meetings after descending into a well of negative thinking. It was a vicious cycle, one I wasn't even aware of for the longest time. My negative thinking fostered many resentments, hurts and binges. Once I became aware of this and started to work on changing my destructive thinking, I discovered that letting in just one negative thought opened the door to more negative thinking. Then one day in a meeting I heard a longtimer say that negative thinking attracted negative (thinking and actions) and positive thinking attracted positive (thinking and actions). That made sense with what I was experiencing. As I walked out of that meeting, I determined that I would do everything I could to keep all my thoughts positive in order to attract more positives to my life. It worked! The more positive I could keep my thoughts, the better I felt about everything, and the more good things happened to me. My general attitude soared. When a bad thing happened (and they do happen) I found good things about it and focused on the good. Many many times I discovered that the "bad" thing had actually been a new good direction in disguise. Positive attracts positive. Negative attracts negative. I'd rather attract positive. One Day at a Time . . . I will remember to turn to the program to help maintain my peace and serenity, especially through the bad times. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened. - Pg. 37 - More About Alcoholism Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Learning to be tolerant of others, a difficult task at best, does not mean that we have to agree with them! Tolerance disagrees agreeably, we think. If someone disagrees with us right now, we can agree to disagree. Right now I ask for the serenity to agree to disagree because my discomfort for prolonged times could lead me to pick up that first fix, pill, or drink! Bearing Witness When I have an undesirable thought today, like jealousy, anger or self doubt I will just observe it in my mind. I will allow the thought to really be there. I won't try to deny it or eradicate it. I will simply give it space and witness it. As I do this, the thought transforms. As I see it for what it is and accept it as a part of me, I give it the breathing room it needs to play itself through, to change into something else. I cannot hide from me, nor do I wish to. I can be my own best friend by allowing myself the space to think what I am really thinking and feel what I am really feeling knowing that it doesn't have to lead to blind action. There is another more powerful and fruitful action that I can take. It is in simply witnessing, allowing and trusting that this process will lead to awareness, transformation and a more permanent change than is possible through denial. Today I will give myself the gift of self reflection. I observe the workings of my inner mind - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Today you are leading a life. When you were drinking and drugging, you were a life being led. It is God's job to make miracles and I am one of them. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Being recovered from alcoholism is like getting a gunshot wound. You can recover from it, but it does NOT make you bulletproof. Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I continue to grow on my spiritual path to recovery, I bask in the miracles of transformation and healing that are taking place in my life today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Other diseases have blood tests and X-rays. We have an inventory. And if you stick around long enough to do it, you'll be actually able take a picture of your alcoholism. You'll actually be able to see your disease. - Scott R. |
January 22
Daily Reflections "LET'S KEEP IT SIMPLE" A few hours later I took my leave of Dr. Bob. . . The wonderful, old, broad smile was on his face as he said almost jokingly, "Remember, Bill, let's not louse this thing up. Let's keep it simple!" I turned away, unable to say a word. That was the last time I ever saw him. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE, p 214 After years of sobriety I occasionally ask myself: "Can it be this simple?" Then, at meetings, I see former cynics and skeptics who have walked the A.A. path out of hell by packaging their lives, without alcohol, into twenty-four hour segments, during which they practice a few principles to the best of their individual abilities. And then I know again that, while it isn't always easy, if I keep it simple, it works. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day In the beginning, you want to get sober, but you're helpless, so you turn to a Power greater than yourself and by trusting in that Power, you get the strength to stop drinking. From then on, you want to keep sober, and that's a matter of reeducating your mind. After a while, you get so that you really enjoy simple, healthy, normal living. You really get a kick out of life without the artificial stimulus of alcohol. All you have to do is look around at the members of any A.A. group and you will see how their outlook has changed. Is my outlook on life changing? Meditation For The Day I will never forget to say thank you to God, even on the greyest days. My attitude will be one of humility and gratitude. Saying thank you to God is a daily practice that is absolutely necessary. If a day is not one of thankfulness, the practice has to be repeated until it becomes so. Gratitude is a necessity for those who are seeking a better life. Prayer For The Day I pray that gratitude will bring humility. I pray that humility will bring me to live a better life. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Fear as a Steppingstone, p. 22 The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. << << << >> >> >> For all its usual destructiveness, we have found that fear can be the starting point for better things. Fear can be a steppingstone to prudence and to a decent respect for others. It can point the path to justice, as well as to hate. And the more we have of respect and justice, the more we shall begin to find the love which can suffer much, and yet be freely given. So fear need not always be destructive, because the lessons of its consequences can lead us to positive values. 1. 12 & 12, p. 76 2. Grapevine, January 1962 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places No Humiliation in Humility____ Self-understanding. With few exceptions, every alcoholic eventually meets humiliation and defeat. This is especially painful in a world that places high value on winning and on having the approval and admiration of others. We feel diminished by these defeats. Nobody likes to be humbled, to be made to appear less than other people. Yet these humiliations serve a constructive purpose if they lead us to seek humility. Truly humble people cannot really be humiliated, because they no longer rely on the false supports of worldly praise and approval. We develop humility as we withdraw from a reliance on our own powers and personality and realize that we ourselves can do nothing; it is our Higher Power who does the work. Still, there is a paradox in humility. The person who admits he or she can do nothing will, in the process, tap into powers that were never available in the previous state of mind. In truth, humility is never humiliation or weakness, though these may lead to it. Humility is really a road to the power that only God can give us. I'll watch myself today for the crazy things that set me up for humiliation. I won't try to impress others or win their admiration today. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Go often to the house of your friend: for weeds soon choke up the unused path. ----Scandinavian proverb. Our program has two parts: the Steps, and the fellowship. Both keep us sober. We can't stay sober if we go it alone. We need to work the Steps. We also need people--the help of our friends daily Recovery is about relationships. We get new friends. We get involved. We give. We get. In times of need, we may not want to ask our new friends for help. Maybe we don't want to "burden them." "Maybe we're afraid to ask for help." Well, go ahead. Make that call. Ask your new friend to spend time with you. You deserve and need it. They deserve it; they need it. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to get help from my friends as if my life depends on it. Action for the Day: Today, I'll see or call two program friends and let them know how I'm doing. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning One cannot have wisdom without living life. --Dorothy McCall Living life means responding, wholly, to our joys and our pitfalls. It means not avoiding the experiences or activities that we fear we can't handle. Only through our survival of them do we come to know who we really are; we come to understand the strength available to us at every moment. And that is wisdom. When we approach life tentatively, we reap only a portion of its gifts. It's like watching a movie in black and white that's supposed to be in Technicolor. Our lives are in color, but we must have courage to let the colors emerge, to feel them, absorb them, be changed by them. Within our depths, we find our true selves. The complexities of life teach us wisdom. And becoming wise eases the many pitfalls in our path. Living life is much more than just being alive. I can choose to jump in with both feet. Wisdom awaits me in the depths. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS We know how he feels. We have shared his honest doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently anti-religious. To others, the word “God” brought up a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. With that rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly. We looked upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism, We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, “Who, then, make all this?” There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost. pp. 45-46 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. In June 1945, with another member, I made my first--and only--Twelfth Step call on a female alcoholic and a year later I married her. She has been sober all the way through and for me that has been good. We can share in the laughter and tears of our many friends, and most important, we can share our A.A. way of life and are given daily opportunity to help others. p. 230 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Where the possession of money and material things was concerned, our outlook underwent the same revolutionary change. With a few exceptions, all of us had been spendthrifts. We threw money about in every direction with the purpose of pleasing ourselves and impressing other people. In our drinking time, we acted as if the money supply was inexhaustible, though between binges we'd sometimes go to the other extreme and become almost miserly. Without realizing it we were just accumulating funds for the next spree. Money was the symbol of pleasure and self-importance. When our drinking had become much worse, money was only an urgent requirement which could supply us with the next drink and the temporary comfort of oblivion it brought. p. 120 ************************************************** ********* There is no mountain, God cannot help us to climb. --Shelley Learn to listen to your inner voice. Listen to your heart. It's your connection to God, to people, to the universe, and to yourself. --Melody Beattie "Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart. That is the real meaning of peace." --Author Unknown "The tree in which the sap is stagnant remains fruitless." --Hosea Ballou People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering. --St. Augustine There is a hole and empty place within us that we have tried to fill. Today we know that this is a God shaped hole, that only God can fill. A place where acceptance, understanding, love and support are a given. --Author Unknown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation POETRY "Poetry is not an assertion of truth, but the making of that truth more fully real to us." -- T. S. Eliot God is able to communicate Himself in a thousand different ways and one such way is poetry. Spirituality is discovering God in His creation, and this involves more than religion or denominationalism. Spirituality is a comprehensive approach to God's world and is the unifying factor at the center of the universe. Spirituality is about what is true --- wherever it is found in the world. Poetry and other art forms become part of the spiritual journey for us as we struggle to understand and communicate truth. In poetry may I find an expression of Your love for me; in my use of poetry, may I express my love for You. ************************************************** ********* "I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears." Psalms 34:4 Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit. Psalm 147:5 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:36-38 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Behave as though God is standing next to you because He is. Lord, we make a great team and together we are able to make a big difference. If you think success and really believe it will happen, you will perform in a manner that leads to success. Lord, may I always avoid negative thoughts and visualize myself in the manner that You intended for me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The School Of Recovery " This is a program for learning." Basic Text p. 16 Learning in recovery is hard work. The things we most need to know are often the hardest to learn. We study recovery to prepare ourselves for the experiences life will give us. As we listen to others share in meetings, we take mental notes we can refer to later. Tobe prepared, we study our notes and literature between "lessons." Just as students have the opportunity to apply their knowledge during tests, so do we have the opportunity to apply our recovery during times of crisis. As always, we have a choice in how we will approach life's challenges. We can dread and avoid them as threats to our sereniW or we can gratefully accept them as opportunities for growth. By confirming the principles we've learned in recovery, life's challenges give us increased strength. Without such challenges, however, we could forget what we've learned and begin to stagnate. These are the opportunities that prod us to new spiritual awakenings. We will find that there is often a period of rest after each crisis, giving us time to get accustomed to our new skills. Once we've reflected on our experience, we are called on to share our knowledge with someone who is studying what we've just learned. In the school of recovery, all of us are teachers as well as students. Just for today: I will be a student of recovery. I will welcome challenges, confident in what I've learned and eager to share it with others. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Animals are such agreeable friends they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. --George Eliot A pet is often liked by everyone and seems to have no enemies. Why is this? Pets are friendly and interested in others. They seem to get joy out of just being with us. They do not have a critical attitude. When mistreated or neglected for a while, they are quick to forgive and quickly seek once again to be by our side. Each of us is a valuable part of the family. When we treasure one another and don't waste our time finding each other's faults, we will begin to have fewer faults. When we accept our loved ones as they are and enjoy sharing our lives with them, our lives become more enjoyable, and our family love grows because we are each more lovable. What can I accept in others today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. The human heart in its perversity finds it hard to escape hatred and revenge. --Moses Luzzatto This program promises many rewards for those who follow it, but it does not promise to be easy. We search our conscience for resentments and face them. No man can progress in his recovery while holding onto resentments, old angers, and hatreds. When we hold them, we protect dark corners of our souls from the renewal we need. As we allow ourselves to be made new through this program, we no longer reserve those small corners for the game of power and resentment. They will eventually consume us and justify in our minds a return to the old patterns. Nothing can be held back. We must be willing to surrender all - even if we do not know how. No one can stop being resentful simply by deciding to stop. When we are willing to be honest, to be humble, to be learners, to be led in a constructive direction, to allow time to be guided rather than seek instant cure, then we will learn trust and will surely make progress. I do not need to know exactly how to let go of my resentments or what will happen after 1 do. I simply must toe ready to let them go. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. One cannot have wisdom without living life. --Dorothy McCall Living life means responding, wholly, to our joys and our pitfalls. It means not avoiding the experiences or activities that we fear we can't handle. Only through our survival of them do we come to know who we really are; we come to understand the strength available to us at every moment. And that is wisdom. When we approach life tentatively, we reap only a portion of its gifts. It's like watching a movie in black and white that's supposed to be in Technicolor. Our lives are in color, but we must have courage to let the colors emerge, to feel them, absorb them, be changed by them. Within our depths, we find our true selves. The complexities of life teach us wisdom. And becoming wise eases the many pitfalls in our path. Living life is much more than just being alive. I can choose to jump in with both feet. Wisdom awaits me in the depths. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Appreciating Our Past It is easy to be negative about past mistakes and unhappiness. But it is much more healing to look at ourselves and our past in the light of experience, acceptance, and growth. Our past is a series of lessons that advance us to higher levels of living and loving. The relationships we entered, stayed in, or ended taught us necessary lessons. Some of us have emerged from the most painful circumstances with strong insights about who we are and what we want. Our mistakes? Necessary. Our frustrations, failures, and sometimes--stumbling attempts at growth and progress? Necessary too. Each step of the way, we learned. We went through exactly the experiences we needed to, to become who we are today. Each step of the way, we progressed. Is our past a mistake? No. The only mistake we can make is mistaking that for the truth. Today, God, help me let go of negative thoughts I may be harboring about my past circumstances or relationships. I can accept, with gratitude, all that has brought me to today. I deserve to have wonderful things to happen in my life today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Open to the Power of Comfort Packed in the back of my Jeep I stored my favorite red woolen blanket. I didn’t need it for warmth because I didn’t sleep in the cold. I needed it to remind me of the importance of comfort. Open yourself to receive comfort, the comfort that touches the heart and nurtures the soul. Many of us grew up and lived our lives without experiencing true comfort, true nurturing. Many of us didn’t know it existed. But at some level, that’s what we’ve been looking for. Comfort is the loving arms of a mother who sees only the beauty of her child. A mother who attends to the needs, who nurtures the heart and soul of her child. This kind of comfort is acceptance and love at its finest. Open your heart to receive comfort. Learn to give it,too. Comfort touches and heals our souls. Take it with you like a favorite blanket wherever you go. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Let go of your plans Letting go can feel so unnatural. We work hard for a promotion, a relationship, a new car, a vacation. Then the universe has the gall to come along and mess up our plans. How dare it! And so, rather than opening ourselves to the experiences that await us, we hold on to the plans that we made for ourselves. Or we hold on to bitterness about our plans going awry. Sometimes losing our dreams and plans for our future can hurt as much as losing a tangible thing. Sometimes accepting and releasing our broken dreams is part of accepting a loss. Let go of your expectations. The universe will do what it will. Sometimes your dreams will come true. Sometimes they won’t. Sometimes when you let go of a broken dream, another one gently takes its place. Be aware of what is, not what you would like to be, taking place. God, help me let go of my expectations and accept the gifts that you give me each day, knowing that there is beauty and wonder in each act of life. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day In a very real sense, we are imprisoned by our inability or unwillingness to reach out for help to a Power greater than ourselves. But in time, we pray to be relieved of the bondage of self, so that we can better do God’s will. In the words of Ramakrsihna, “The sun and moon are not mirrored in cloudy waters, thus the Almighty cannot be mirrored in a heart that is obsessed by the idea of ‘me and mine.’” Have I set myself free form the prison of self-will and pride which I myself have built? Have I accepted freedom? Today I Pray May the word freedom take on the meanings for me, not just “freedom from” my addiction, but “freedom to” overcome it. Not just freedom from the slavery of self-will, but freedom to hear and carry out the will of God. Today I Will Remember Freedom from means freedom to. ***************************************** One More Day To live happily is an inward power of the soul. – Marcus Aurelius While we were still very healthy, we may not have realized how much we depended on others for our physical and emotional well-being. Perhaps we rarely turned toward our own strength or to a Power greater than ourselves. Because we had depended so little on ourselves, we may have, at first, felt defeated. Ironically, we’ve become strengthened by illness. Sour searching and taking personal inventory are tools we used to discover the mental and spiritual reserves that were always available to us but little used. The love and support of others are still important to us, but now we have a greater sense of balance which strengthens us and our relationships. My inner spiritual messages transcend my need to depend on others. This strengthens me, my faith, and all the people touched by my life. ************************************ Food For Thought There Is No Such Thing as "Have To" The serenity and insight, which we gain from this program, help us realize that we do not have to do anything. There is always a choice. We may even choose not to live. Our lives are gifts from our Higher Power, and the choice of what to do with them is ours. We can continue to overeat and watch our illness get progressively worse. We can isolate ourselves from other people and console ourselves with food. We can do as little as possible each day just in order to survive. We do not have to follow the program; we also do not have to overeat. We do not have to turn our lives over to God; we also do not have to continue to bear the burden of self and self-will. It is a proven fact of experience for countless people that the most satisfying thing to do with the life given to each of us is to give it back to our Higher Power to use as He wills. Thank You for my freedom, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ SERVICE ~ The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. Albert Schweitzer In my first few 12 step meetings, I was so angry. On one hand, I didn't think I needed to be there, although deep inside, I knew I did. People were nice enough, greeted me, made me feel welcome, but I kept myself apart with my anger. I was angry that there seemed to be a small core group of members who attended weekly and obviously knew each other well. I didn't think they'd let me in their inner group; I didn't get invited. Next, I tried to get the program without working the Steps. That inner group talked about the Steps all the time. I'd show them how good I was; I'd get the program, get the recovery they'd gotten, by taking a shorter route. The Steps were for dummies, and I wasn't dumb. I quickly found out the Steps are the only way to get the 12 step program, hence its name. I struggled for a long time. Then I started giving service to my group. It started off by simply straightening up the room because I always got there early. I asked for a key so I could put out the books. I started greeting newcomers, who usually showed up early. When the person who'd signed on to do the topic didn't make it one week, I agreed to lead the meeting. To my shock, I was giving service. In looking back at my first weeks in the program, I realized that the "inner core" of my home group had become my very good friends. When had I been asked in? Never. I joined when I began to give service and became one of them, the service-givers to the group. I learned why they seemed to have such effortless growth-- it came from giving service. With service I always get back much more than I put in. One Day at a Time . . . I will remember to give of myself. I will remember that giving service in the program gives me so many gifts in return. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal. For his sake, we do recount and almost relive the horrors of our past. But those of us who have tried to shoulder the entire burden and trouble of others find we are soon overcome by them. - Pg.132 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote It doesn't cost a lot of money for us to recover. It cost a lot of time. We have to be diligent and program consciousness from this hour to the next, every hour for the rest of our lives. We 'have' to do it, until we 'want' to do it. I embrace our program in gratitude. A Still Small Voice I will have faith. I will follow that still small voice within me. When I have doubts, which of course I will have, I will reach down within myself and pull up something that I thought wasn't even there, I'll pull up faith that things will be all right. Whether or not things are going just the way I want them to, I'll have faith that they will somehow right themselves in the end. It will work out, or it won't work out, but still, all will be OK. I will give myself the gift of faith. My faith sustains me - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'For a time we are living inside a scream where there seems to be no exit, only echoes. The small cares that seemed so important yesterday seem like nothing, and our daily concerns become petty and irrelevant. When we finally reclaim ourselves, as we ultimately do, we are changed.' -Kent Nerburn, Simple Truths Cooperating with God is the easier softer way. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Alcoholics make pour choices. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I deserve to have wonderful things to happen in my life today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Drinking is not a word, it's a sentence. - Anon. |
January 23
Daily Reflections HAVING FUN YET? . . . we aren't a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn't want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life. We try not to indulge in cynicism over the state of the nations, nor do we carry the world's troubles on our shoulders. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 132 When my own house is in order, I find the different parts of my life are more manageable. Stripped from the guilt and remorse that clocked my drinking years, I am free to assume my proper role in the universe, but this condition requires maintenance. I should stop and ask myself, Am I having fun yet? If I find answering that question difficult or painful, perhaps I'm taking myself too seriously - and finding it difficult to admit that I've strayed from my practice of working the program to keep my house in order. I think the pain I experience is one way my Higher Power has to get my attention, coaxing me to take stock of my performance. The slight time and effort it takes to work the program - a spot-check inventory, for example, or the making of amends, whatever is appropriate - are well worth the effort. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Alcoholics are people whose drinking got them into a "blind alley." They haven't been able to learn anything from their drinking experiences. They are always making the same mistakes and suffering the same consequences over and over again. They refuse to admit they're alcoholic. They still think they can handle the stuff. They won't swallow their pride and admit that they're different from ordinary drinkers. They won't face the fact that they must spend the rest of their lives without liquor. They can't visualize life without ever taking a drink. Am I out of this blind alley? Meditation For The Day I believe that God has all power. It is His to give and His to withhold. But He will not withhold it from the person who dwells near Him, because then it passes insensibly from God to that person. It is breathed in by the person who lives in God's presence. I will learn to live in God's presence and then I will have those things which I desire of Him: strength, power, and joy. God's power is available to all who need it and are willing to accept it. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may get myself out of the way, so that God's power may flow in. I pray that I may surrender myself to that power. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Worshipers All, p. 23 We found that we had indeed been worshipers. What a state of mental goose flesh that used to bring on! Had we not variously worshiped people, sentiment, things, money, and ourselves? And then, with a better motive, had we not worshipfully beheld the sunset, the sea, or a flower? Who of us had not loved something or somebody? Were these not things the tissue out of which our lives were constructed? Did not these feelings, after all, determine the course of our existence? It was impossible to say we had no capacity for faith, or love, or worship. In one form or another, we had been living by faith and little else. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 54 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Thinking well of ourselves___ Raising self-esteem Although there may have been conceit and cockiness in our past behavior, most of us suffered from feelings of low self-esteem. We often felt alone and unworthy. Often, we had memories of parents and others who reminded us of our shortcomings or compared us unfavorably with others. Whatever our past problems, we can raise our self-esteem in the present. We can begin by forgiving ourselves and others for past wrongs and mistakes. We must become willing to give up any belief or practice that causes us to dislike ourselves. We can remember that our self-esteem does not depend on achievements or on winning in competitions with others. Despite our failings, now and in the past, we are worthy in the sight of God and are entitled to God's grace. Growth in the program usually brings growth in self-esteem. If we think well of ourselves, in the right sense, others will tend to think well of us, too. With proper self-esteem, we will not be crushed or dismayed when someone seems to dislike us. Our feelings about ourselves will be much more than a mirror of others' opinions. I will think well of myself today, I will not put myself down, even jokingly. I will know that if God is for me, no one can be against me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Sex, like all else between human beings, is never prefect. --- Theodore Isaac Rubin Addiction made our sex lives a mess. Maybe we wanted prefect sex or we wanted no sex. We were afraid. Maybe we wanted a high from sex we just couldn't seem to get it. Some of us had lots of sex partners; some of us had none. What now? We're doing what we need to do by being in recovery. We're getting to know ourselves. We're living by our real values. We’re being honest with ourselves and others. We're learning to love and care about others. It's open, honest caring we express with our bodies. Thus, sex can be trusting and safe. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I turn over my sex life and my will to You---Just for today. I know You want me to be happy. Action for the Day: What do I believe about sex? How does it match with what's said in the third paragraph above? ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning She had trouble defining herself independently of her husband, tried to talk to him about it, but he said nonsense, he had no trouble defining her at all. --Cynthia Propper Seton To recover means to learn who we are, independent of friends, children, parents, or intimate partners. It means knowing how we want to spend our time, what books we like to read, what hobbies interest us, what our favorite foods are. It means understanding self-direction. It means charting a daily personal course and staying on it. It means defining our responsibilities and carrying them out. Having an independent identity does not preclude depending on others for certain needs. Perhaps we revel in massage--both getting and giving. Maybe we share the expenses of a household or the responsibilities of raising children. Depending on others to meet their responsibilities does not negate our independent identity; it strengthens it. We choose where and when to be dependent. Healthy dependency complements healthy independence. Recovery is giving me options. Each day gives me new opportunities. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these thoughts and experiences. Let us make haste to reassure you. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need to consider another’s conception of God. Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him. As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying the totality of things, we began to be possessed of a new sense of power and direction, provided we took other simple steps. We found that God does not make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us, the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek. It is open, we believe, to all men. p. 46 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Vicious Cycle How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia. In conclusion, I can only say that whatever growth or understanding has come to me, I have no wish to graduate. Very rarely do I miss the meetings of my neighborhood A.A. group, and my average has never been less than two meetings a week. I have served on only one committee in the past nine years, for I feel that I had my chance the first few years and that newer members should fill the jobs. They are far more alert and progressive than we floundering fathers were, and the future of our fellowship is in their hands. We now live in the West and are very fortunate in our area A.A.; it is good, simple and friendly, and our one desire is to stay in A.A. and not on it. Our pet slogan is "Easy Does It." And I still say that as long as I remember January 8th in Washington, that is how long, by the grace of God as I understand Him, I will retain a happy sobriety. pp. 230-231 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Upon entering A.A., these attitudes were sharply reversed, often going much too far in the opposite direction. The spectacle of years of waste threw us into panic. There simply wouldn't be time, we thought, to rebuild our shattered fortunes. How could we ever take care of those awful debts, possess a decent home, educate the kids, and set something by for old age? Financial importance was no longer our principal aim; we now clamored for material security. Even when we were well reestablished in our business, these terrible fears often continued to haunt us. This made us misers and penny pinchers all over again. Complete financial security we must have--or else. We forgot that most alcoholics in A.A. have an earning power considerably above average; we forgot the immense goodwill of our brother A.A.'s who were only too eager to help us to better jobs when we deserved them; we forgot the actual or potential financial insecurity of every human being in the world. And, worst of all, we forgot God. In money matters we had faith only in ourselves, and not too much of that. pp. 120-121 ************************************************** ********* I touch my feelings, knowing, I have never been so free, I have never been so happy, sobriety, has changed me. --Shelley There is a guidance for each of us, and by lowly listening we shall hear the right word… Place yourself in the middle of the stream of power and wisdom which flows into your life. Then, without effort, you are impelled to truth and perfect contentment. --Ralph Waldo Emerson Look for the beauty inside of each person. --I. June Stephenson The God who calls us into the unknown travels with us. --Robert W. Rae Spiritual vision means looking at life as God does. --Lisa D. Wiener Whatever our future holds for us, we will find God already there. --Patricia Garrison ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SLEEP "Sleep that knots up the raveled sleeve of care." -- William Shakespeare When I was new in my recovery from alcoholism I was told to remember the letters H.A.L.T.: Do not get too: Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Sleep is something my body needs, and even if I do not always know it, my body does. The tiredness in my body is telling me to slow down. Sleep is part of my spiritual program because it enables me to feel rested, invigorated and alive. Through sleep I am able to be creative and positive in my life --- showing a practical love to my body. Sleep is me taking care of self! Thank You for the joy and rest that comes with sleep. ************************************************** ********* "But I will hope continually, and will praise you yet more and more." Psalm 71:14 Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3 Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom. The LORD is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made. The LORD is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The LORD upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. The LORD is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy. Psalm 141:3,8,9,13,14,17,18,20 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Shine a little brighter today because someone needs your light. Lord, may I reflect You like sun hitting a mirror. If you are not happy with what you have, how will you be happy with what you want to have? Lord, may I appreciate the good things in my life and refuse to feel sorry for myself or compare myself to others. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Serenity Check " Lack of daily maintenance can show up in many ways." Basic Text p. 91 Ever had a perfect stranger remark about how great the weather was, only to reply "It stinks"? When this happens, we are probably suffering from a lack of daily maintenance in our program. In recovery, life can get pretty hectic. Maybe those added responsibilities at work have got you hopping. Maybe you haven't been to a meeting for awhile. Perhaps you've been too busy to meditate, or haven't been eating regularly or sleeping well. Whatever the reason, your serenity is slipping. When this happens, it is crucial that we take action. We can't afford to let one "bad day"; complete with a bad attitude, slip into two days, four days, or a week. Our recovery depends on our daily maintenance program. No matter what is happening in our lives, we can't afford to neglect the principles that have saved our lives. There are many ways to recover our serenity. We can go to a meeting, phone our sponsor, meet another recovering addict for lunch, or try to carry the message to a newcomer. We can pray. We can take a moment to ask ourselves what simple things we haven't been doing. When our attitudes head downhill, we can avert a crash with simple solutions. Just for today: I will examine the maintenance of my daily program of recovery. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Little girl, little girl, where have you been? --Mother Goose She's been everywhere and nowhere in and around the house. She's been in her room crying with her doll, on the grass kicking her ball, on the floor big-eyed and blank in front of the TV. Her things are everywhere in the way, as if left there to block the path. She learns to be happiest alone in her room. There she can gather roses to give to the Queen and receive in return a diamond as big as a shoe. There she can wait for some prince, or dream of crossing the street without looking back. We are all the same way, even as adults. We live with our dreams and fantasies, and our secret lives thrive in privacy. All around us, our loved ones live out their private lives often unnoticed by us until we enter them. When we honor others' unspoken needs, when we allow others their privacy without being asked, or when we appreciate something they've done, we share the joy of living together in natural harmony. How invisible are those in our presence every day? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Spontaneity is the quality of being able to do something just because you feel like it at the moment, of trusting your instincts, of taking yourself by surprise and snatching from the clutches of your well-organized routine a bit of unscheduled pleasure. --Richard Lannelli The idea of turning our lives and our will over to the care of God is a very revolutionary thing to do. We are being told, "Let go of your excessive carefulness. Let the spirit guides you." When we are in touch with ourselves, with the people around us, with God, we are free to experiment. We don't learn from doing the same things correctly again and again. We learn from trying new things and making mistakes. Over control is spiritually deadening. This is a program of life. Our renewal is a miraculous event. Why stop now? We can be in touch with the messages around us without trying to control the outcome. When we let God do the worrying, we find many possibilities open up, As this adventure of life unfolds, I will not shy away from it. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. She had trouble defining herself independently of her husband, tried to talk to him about it, but he said nonsense, he had no trouble defining her at all. --Cynthia Propper Seton To recover means to learn who we are, independent of friends, children, parents, or intimate partners. It means knowing how we want to spend our time, what books we like to read, what hobbies interest us, what our favorite foods are. It means understanding self-direction. It means charting a daily personal course and staying on it. It means defining our responsibilities and carrying them out. Having an independent identity does not preclude depending on others for certain needs. Perhaps we revel in massage--both getting and giving. Maybe we share the expenses of a household or the responsibilities of raising children. Depending on others to meet their responsibilities does not negate our independent identity; it strengthens it. We choose where and when to be dependent. Healthy dependency complements healthy independence. Recovery is giving me options. Each day gives me new opportunities. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. New Energy Coming Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. --Beyond Codependency There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment. There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing. At times, things haven't worked out the way we wanted. We had lessons to learn. The future shall not be like the past. The truly difficult times are almost over. The confusion, the most challenging learning experiences, the difficult feelings are about to pass. Do not limit the future by the past! Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Haven't there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Haven't you and your circumstances changed since then? Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever. We make these times doubly hard by comparing them to our past. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who we are. We do not have to scare ourselves by comparing our present and future to a painful past, especially our past before we began recovering or before we learned through a particular experience. Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it. A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something. Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust and obedience. Be open to the new. Today, God, help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me. I let God guide me in my recovery today, knowing that all decisions that come from good and love will bring me joy. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Honor the Needs of Your Body Take time to rest and regroup as often as you need. At the beginning of the journey and along the way take time to honor your body. When you honor your body, you honor your soul. You have been working hard on yourself, on your spiritual growth. You are moving forward, evolving at a rapid pace. Give your body time to catch up. Your body isn’t a bother; it’s an ally. Your body knows what it needs, and what your soul needs,too. Tune in to your body. Listen. On those days when your body is adjusting, regrouping, shifting because you’re growing and healing emotionally and spiritually, let it do that. Don’t ignore it. Don’t force it. Be gentle. Recognize its nuances. Ask it what it needs. Juice? Vitamins? Rest? Exercise? Let it tell you. Then go easy. Do tasks that are easier, that seem to fit what you can handle that day. After a spiritual growth spurt, our body works diligently to flush the toxins released when emotions are cleansed and healed. After a day, week, or month of intense spiritual growth, our body is tired from flushing through so many emotions, going through so many changes. To deny the body’s connection to our growth, to push it when it needs rest, is denying the importance and impact of the spiritual work we’re doing. By taking time to honor the body, to honor its shifts and needs, it will be there for you in a way it has never been before. Rest and care will help it come back to center quickly. You will have the benefit of a healed spirit and a body that was allowed to adjust and adapt to that healing process. You will be honoring the oneness of body, mind, and soul. You will be honoring your newfound connection. Taking time to honor the needs of your body is taking time to respect the needs of your soul. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Remember to let go A friend called me into the next room. I didn’t want to move. I was head-deep in obsession, fretting about something I couldn’t change, at least not at that moment. I reluctantly walked to the window where he stood, walking in that stiff, unnatural way we jerk about when we’re obsessing. “Look at the moonlight reflecting off the waves,” he said. I stared at the white shimmering ripples in the ocean, like diamonds in the night. We talked for a moment, about whether it was phosphorescence– that delightful and new phenomenon that causes the sea to glow in the dark– or whether it was simply moonlight bouncing off the waves. We decided it was light. I walked away, a little more relaxed. Letting go isn’t something we do to manipulate the universe into giving us what we want. It’s a way of opening our hearts to receive the gifts it and God have for us. God, help me remember that I don’t have to let go today, but I’ll be happier if I do. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, an of our surroundings — that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can really choose. As addictive persons, we lost our ability to choose whether wee would pursue our addictions. Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. Do I believe that in “becoming willing,” I have made the best of all choice? Today I Pray May I shed the idea that I am the world’s victim, an unfortunate creature caught in a web of circumstance, inferring that others ought to “:make it up to me” because I have been given a bad deal on this earth. We are always given choices. May God help me to choose wisely. Today I Will Remember God is not a puppeteer. ***************************************** One More Day Those wrinkles are the map of my life. … They’re battle scars. – Etta Furlow One woman calls her wrinkles a patina that glows only with age. When first we notice tiny sprinkles — crow’s feet or smile lines — we may lament our loss of youth. Naturally, our faces change as we age. Our life experiences, both joy and pain, etch themselves on our faces as surely as they mold our minds and spirits. Our bodies may begin to change as well. Previously nimble fingers may stiffen; backaches and a slowed pace may become the norm. Skin is but a wrapping for the inner soul, and the soul’s enjoyment of life is not diminished by its wrapping. Our spirits never grow old. Our belief in the beauty and joy of life is renewed with each season. And we remain strong. My body will change as the years go by, but I will stay aware of my spirit and faith. This keeps me emotionally vibrant. ************************************ Food For Thought Working the Steps The OA program operates on three levels. Abstaining from compulsive overeating takes care of the physical aspect of our disease. For our emotional and spiritual health, we need to work the Twelve Steps. In each of us, there is a need and desire to grow spiritually. At first, we may not acknowledge this need, but as our physical illness improves and our emotions begin to stabilize, we become aware of inner urgings and promptings that can come only from our Higher Power. If we set aside time each day to listen to this inner voice, we facilitate our spiritual growth. Working the Steps requires that we be as honest as possible with ourselves at each stage of our development. A program sponsor who has walked the way before us is an invaluable aid. Above all, we must desire to grow. We have spent much of our lives overgrowing physically. Now is the time to catch up emotionally and spiritually. If we make a sincere beginning, our Higher Power will lead us through each Step as we become ready to take it. Lead me, Lord, and bless my work. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ CRITICISM ~ To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. Elbert Hubbard For so many years, I thought I was the only kid who had been raised with criticism. Fear of criticism is one of the reasons I walked on eggshells at home. I learned to fear success in anything and everything. If I could only be "middle of the road," maybe no one would notice me and I wouldn't have to deal with criticism. I did what I had to do to survive. As I grew older, I received constructive criticism by wise people, but sadly, I didn't know how to utilize such a gift. It hurt me, and I turned away from well-meaning people. I rebelled against their advice. The program has taught me that all criticism is not bad. I never thought a day would come where I was comfortable with it. I recently took a correspondence course to help me with my work, and naturally the instructor had to critique my work. I worried about that before I took the course. In fact, I'd wanted to take that class for years, but had not been able to handle the cold fear that stabbed at me when I looked at the application. I finished the class last month. There was much criticism to help me to learn, and I didn't shrink from it. I learned from it. It's all in the attitude. One Day at a Time . . . I will pray to remember I have choices. I will pray to keep my attitude in a good place so that I might see all the opportunities available to me. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote ...for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. - Pg. 55 - We Agnostics Hour To Hour - Book - Quote To a practicing addict who lives wholly in the sensations of the body, the recovery state may seem like utter boredom. But as we learn to live balanced in body, mind, and soul we will wonder why we ever thought the state of addiction exciting. May I know that it is not so much boredom as me being boring that's my problem. I Have Faith I rely on faith. Faith sustains me and guides me. Faith is my constant companion. It leads me through passages of terrifying darkness and blinding light. Faith allows me to weave my life into a coherent whole, to walk on a path that others have lit, to strike out on my own and cut my way through the underbrush. There is nothing in my life that faith doesn't make better. There is no day that faith doesn't give meaning and purpose to. There is no relationship that faith doesn't guide and sustain. I need my faith to live - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote 'Nothing contributes more to the peace of the soul than having no opinion at all.' -George Christopher Lichtenberg When I have no opinion on outside issues, I cannot be drawn into controversy. (Tradition Ten) "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Few alcoholics or addicts blame themselves before exhausting all other possibilities. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I let God guide me in my recovery today, knowing that all decisions that come from good and love will bring me joy. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote When I slide over from being 'On the Program' to 'Self Will Run Riot' it's seamless. There's no bump, no warning, I'm just there. That's why I need Step 1O. - Trip S. |
January 24
Daily Reflections GETTING INVOLVED There is action and more action. "Faith without works is dead." . . . To be helpful is our only aim. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , pp. 88-89 I understand that service is a vital part of recovery but I often wonder, "What can I do?" Simply start with what I have today! I look around to see where there is a need. Are the ashtrays full? Do I have hands and feet to empty them? Suddenly I'm involved! The best speaker may make the worst coffee; the member who's best with newcomers may be unable to read; the one willing to clean up may make a mess of the bank account - yet every one of these people and jobs is essential to an active group. The miracle of service is this: when I use what I have, I find there is more available to me than I realized before. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Alcoholics who are living in a blind alley refuse to be really honest with themselves or with other people. They're running away from life and won't face things as they are. They won't give up their resentments. They're too sensitive and too easily hurt. They refuse to try to be unselfish. They still want everything for themselves. And no matter how many disastrous experiences they have had with drinking, they still do it over and over again. There's only one way to get out of that blind alley way of living and that's to change your thinking. Have I changed my thinking? Meditation For The Day I know that the vision and power that I receive from God are limitless, as far as spiritual things are concerned. But in temporal and material things, I must submit to limitations. I know that I cannot see the road ahead. I must go just one step at a time, because God does not grant me a longer view. I am in uncharted waters, limited by my temporal and spatial life, but unlimited in my spiritual life. Prayer For The Day I pray that, in spite of my material limitations, I may follow God's way. I pray that I may learn that trying to do His will is perfect freedom. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Alike When The Chips Are Down, p. 24 In the beginning, it was four whole years before A.A. brought permanent sobriety to even one alcoholic woman. Like the "high bottoms," the women said they were different; A.A. couldn't be for them. But as the communication was perfected, mostly by the women themselves, the picture changed. This process of identification and transmission has gone on and on. The Skid-Rower said he was different. Even more loudly, the socialite (or Park Avenue stumblebum) said the same--so did the artists and the professional people, the rich, the poor, the religious, the agnostic, the Indians and the Eskimos, the veterans, and the prisoners. But nowadays all of these, and legions more, soberly talk about how very much alike all of us alcoholics are when we admit that the chips are finally down. Grapevine, October 1959 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places No Hidden Thoughts_____Moral Inventory It is fortunate that we can think in secret, because our thoughts would quickly get us in trouble if others could read them. In our thoughts, we can choose what we wish to reveal to others before we speak or act. In the long run, however, we do not really conceal our true thoughts and feelings. The nature of our thoughts shapes our character and becomes part of us. It even affects our appearance. It is not difficult at all to identify people who are fearful, angry, or jealous. This process has its good side, because kind thoughts and feelings also affect our appearance, and in positive ways. Norman V. Peale wrote that "God runs a beauty parlor," meaning that plain people with gracious thoughts tend to become more attractive as years wear on. We need not fear our own thoughts and feelings if we are continuing to work the program. As the sober years stretch out, we will be improving our thoughts and feelings, and this will tell others what the program is doing for us and through us. I'll remember today that I don't really keep my thoughts and feelings secret. I will think well of myself and all others. I know that there are no hidden thoughts in the long run. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Few people can be happy unless they hate some other person, nation, or creed. Bertand Russell In recovery learn to give up hate. We must stand for justice, not for hate. We must learn to respect people. They, in turn, will respect us in most cases. We begin to see how important it is to give up hate--if we want others to care for us. Hate is often our secret. Hate is found deep in our hearts and minds. It eats at our souls. It hurts our spiritual growth. Sometimes people are public about their hate. There are even dangerous groups based on hate. But, the most dangerous hate is the private and unspoken. Do I have public hates? Do I have secret hates? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, search my hearts and show me any hates I have. Help me rid myself of them. Action for the Day: I'll list any people, nations, to creeds I hate. I'll pray to have this hate removed. I'll pray for these people, nations, or creeds. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. --Judy Collins The child within each of us is fragile, but very much alive, and she interprets our experiences before we are even conscious of them. It is our child who may fear new places, unfamiliar people, strange situations. Our child needs nurturing, the kind she may not have received in the past. We can take her hand, coax her along, let her know she won't be abandoned. No new place, unfamiliar person, or strange situation need overwhelm her. It's quite amazing the strength that comes to us when we nurture ourselves, when we acknowledge the scared child within and hold her, making her secure. We face nothing alone. Together, we can face anything. I will take care of my child today and won't abandon her to face, alone, any of the experiences the day may bring. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach. That was growth, but if we wished to grow we had to begin somewhere. So we used our own conception, however limited it was. p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. I was born in a little town In Virginia in an average religious home. My father, a Negro, was a country physician. I remember in my early youth my mother dressed me just as she did my two sisters, and I wore curls until I was six years of age. At that time I started school, and that's how I got rid of the curls. I found that even then I had fears and inhibitions. We lived just a few doors from the First Baptist Church, and when they had funerals, I remember very often asking my mother whether the person was good or bad and whether they were going to heaven or hell. I was about six then. p. 232 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." This all meant, of course, that we were still far off balance. When a job still looked like a mere means of getting money rather than an opportunity for service, when the acquisition of money for financial independence looked more important than a right dependence upon God, we were still the victims of unreasonable fears. And these were fears which would make a serene and useful existence, at any financial level, quite impossible. p. 121 ************************************************** ********* Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without comment is a wonderful social grace. --Judith Martin "One never knows what each day is going to bring. The important thing is to be open and ready for it." --Henry Moore "You cannot plan the future by the past." --Edmund Burke Slow down to relish the wonder of God's creation. --Glen Childress God makes possible what we cannot accomplish alone. --Gary Shank Faith in God changes our manner of living. --Chester L Schneider God's reassuring, caring love is with us moment by moment. --Walter N. Maris ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation OPPORTUNITY "Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity; they seem more afraid of life than death." -- James Byrnes Today I am aware of the opportunities that I did not recognize when I was drinking. Drinking stopped me from seeing the life that was before me. I drank myself away from the daily miracle. I missed the sunsets, the fun of relationships, the joy of the theater and the satisfaction of being "aware". In the business world I did not see the opportunity for profit and expansion; I did not create or have faith in my ideas, and I was not able to understand or absorb the new information to be successful in my life. Alcoholism kept me on the outside of my life. Today I am alive in my life, creating, expanding and enjoying my leisure. With sobriety I have the opportunity to experience God in the many aspects of life. Teach me to find You in the risks of life. ************************************************** ********* "Then they were glad because they had quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven." Psalm 107:30 We are to grow up in all aspects into Him. Ephesians 4:15 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration If you can't see more blessings than you can count, you aren't looking hard enough. Thank you, Lord, for all of my blessings and especially those that I don't recognize or take for granted. Be joyful in whatever you do today because you have been blessed, are being blessed and have many more blessings waiting for you. Lord, I am so grateful for Your love. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today From Isolation To Connection " Our disease isolated us... Hostile, resentful, self-centered, and self-seeking, we cut ourselves off from the outside world." Basic Text p. 3-4 Addiction is an isolating disease, closing us off from society, family, and self. We hid. We lied. We scorned the lives we saw others living, surely beyond our grasp. Worst of all, we told ourselves there was nothing wrong with us, even though we knew we were desperately ill. Our connection with the world, and with reality itself, was severed. Our lives lost meaning, and we withdrew further and further from reality. The NA program is designed especially for people like us. It helps reconnect us to the life we were meant to live, drawing us out of our isolation. We stop lying to ourselves about our condition; we admit our powerlessness and the unmanageability of our lives. We develop faith that our lives can improve, that recovery is possible, and that happiness is not permanently beyond our grasp. We get honest; we stop hiding; we "show up and tell the truth&quto; no matter what. And as we do, we establish the ties that connect our individual lives to the larger life around us. We addicts need not live lives of isolation. The Twelve Steps can restore our connection to life and living-if we work them. Just for today: I am a part of the life around me. I will practice my program to strengthen my connection to my world. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Only with winter patience can we bring The deep desired, long-awaited spring. --Anne Morrow Lindbergh Family life requires patience. We probably realized that a long time ago. The Greek origin of the word patience is pathos, which means "suffering." In our lives together, we often suffer. Life is full of bumps and scrapes, both physical and emotional. In our search for greater family unity and harmony we need to realize that we will not be able to escape all suffering. This is why we need patience. It is a form of love. When we suffer the bumps and scrapes and still have faith something good will come of it, we are living out our love. From this winter- patience we will surely find a reward. How have I practiced my patience already today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. You have got to know what it is you want, or someone is going to sell you a bill of goods somewhere along the line that can do irreparable damage to your self esteem, your sense of worth, and your stewardship of the talents that God gave you. --Richard Nelson Bolles In recovery, getting to know ourselves sometimes means developing a new form of toughness. As we deepen our relationships with ourselves, we have a clearer sense of what we care about, what is truly important, and what is not. Certainly we have learned there is evil in the world. Harm does come to good people and the good side does not always win. So we must be men who know ourselves and are not pushovers when our basic values and needs are challenged. We leave room for being wrong, and we continue to grow and learn. But we stand up for what we believe as we see it today. We must not join the forces that would put us down or destroy us. Those negative forces are within us more often than they are outside. Wherever they come from, knowing clearly what we want and care about is our strongest defense. I will seek the wisdom to know my values and the strength to defend my beliefs. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I look in the mirror through the eyes of the child that was me. --Judy Collins The child within each of us is fragile, but very much alive, and she interprets our experiences before we are even conscious of them. It is our child who may fear new places, unfamiliar people, strange situations. Our child needs nurturing, the kind she may not have received in the past. We can take her hand, coax her along, let her know she won't be abandoned. No new place, unfamiliar person, or strange situation need overwhelm her. It's quite amazing the strength that comes to us when we nurture ourselves, when we acknowledge the scared child within and hold her, making her secure. We face nothing alone. Together, we can face anything. I will take care of my child today and won't abandon her to face, alone, any of the experiences the day may bring. You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go. Clearing the Slate One of the greatest gifts we can give is an open, loving heart. And holding on to negative feelings from past relationships is our greatest barrier to that gift. Most of us have had relationships that have ended. When we examine these relationships, we need to clear the emotional slate. Are we holding on to anger or resentments? Are we still feeling victimized? Are we living with the self-defeating beliefs that may be attached to these relationships - Women can't be trusted.... Bosses use people.... There is no such thing as a good relationship.... Let go of all that may be blocking your relationships today. With great certainty, we can know that old feelings and self-defeating beliefs will block us today from giving and getting the love we desire. We can clear the slate of the past. It begins with awareness, honesty, and openness. The process is complete when we reach a state of acceptance and peace toward all from our past. Today, I will begin the process of letting go of all self-defeating feelings and beliefs connected to past relationships. I will clear my slate so I am free to love and be loved. Today I will accept all of me just as I am. I will put aside all judgments and I will rejoice at the miracle of my uniqueness. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Stay in the present Moment Stay in the present moment. That’s where you find life’s magic. How overwhelmed we feel when we anitcipate the future, all that needs doing, all the tasks, the work, the potential problems, the responsibilities. How tired we become when we dwell on what we’ve done already, the energy we’ve expended, and the imperfect results. Yes, sometimes to stay in the present we need to visit the past, to clear out an old feeling, to heal an old, limiting belief. But that visit can be brief. And sometimes we need to think about the future– to make commitments, to plan, to envision where we want to go. But to linger there can cause unrest. It can spoil the moment we’re in now. Stay in the present moment, and the past and the future will fall naturally and easily into place. Stay in the present moment, and the magic will return. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Learn to let Someone said, “Let go and let God,” and this is a wonderful recipe for overcoming fear or getting out of a tight place. In any case, the rule for creation is always to let. –Emmet Fox Darren, a friend of mine, keeps Light Show in his computer. It’s a program of his own making. In this file, he records all incidences of Divine Guidance, Divine Intervention, answered prayers, and serendipitous events in his life. Whenever he begins to doubt the presence of a Benevolent Force, whenever he stops trusting life, whenever he feels abandoned or wonders exactly how wise it is to trust God, he turns to his own light show to remind himself how powerful and wise it really is to let go. People can tell others how miraculous it is to let go, how beneficial it is to practice a hands-off policy when it comes to manipulating or controlling the affairs of others, how stunning it is to let go of goals and let nature take its course. I could tell you how beneficial letting go is in creating healthy relationships. But that’s my light show. Why not create your own? Don’t try, don’t force, don’t make it happen. Let. Let it happen. Let go and let God. God, show me how letting go can benefit my life. Activity: Start a file in your computer or dedicate part of your journal to a light show. Document how you try to controll a problem, or a person, or the outcome of a particular situation. Enter that incident into your light show. Then, practice letting go. Make notes about what helped you, any tools you used such as meditation or prayer. When the problem gets solved, or the goal gets accomplished, or you simply get the peace and grace to live effortlessly with an unsolved problem, enter that into your logbook. Whenever you need reassurance, refer to your lightshow. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Among the many gifts that we are offered in The Program is the gift of freedom. Paradoxically, however, the gift of freedom is not without a price-tag; freedom can only be achieved by paying the price called acceptance. Similarly, if we can surrender to God’s guidance, it will cost us our self-will, that “commodity” so precious to those of us who have always thought we could and should run the show. Is my freedom today worth the price-tag of acceptance? Today I Pray May God teach me acceptance — the ability to accept the things I cannot change. god also grant me courage to change those things I can. god help me to accept the illness of my addiction and give me the courage to change my addictive behavior. Today I Will Remember Accept the addiction. Change the behavior. ***************************************** One More Day The type of hugging I recommend is the bear hug. Use both arms, face your partner and perform a full embrace. – David Bresler We all need physical contact. And this contact does more than put us in touch with other people; it reminds us of our human need to love as well as to be loved. Some of us may have a sense of aloneness, regardless of how many or few people surround us. If we live alone, it can be most difficult to get our daily ration of hugging and touching. Perhaps we need to consider buying a pet. A bird, a cat, a dog will offer affection all the time. All they require is a good, loving home. Or perhaps we need to think about the contact we have with others. Our expressions of love bring us the unexpected bonus of physical well-being. I need to love and be loved. I will share my caring nature more freely with other living creatures. ************************************ Food For Thought Humility It is the suffering we experience as a result of overeating compulsively, which eventually makes us humble enough to admit that we are powerless over food. Until we have the necessary humility, recovery is impossible. As long as we think we can successfully control and direct our lives by ourselves, we shall continue to fail. Some of us hit bottom sooner than others. If we are lucky, we can see where the disease is leading us and what the inevitable result will be if we do not find help from a source outside ourselves. Whether we hit a high bottom or a low bottom, when we finally reach it the only way to go is up. When we are humble enough to seek help by turning over our will, we shall find the help we need. Maintaining an attitude of humility is essential for our recovery. If we allow ourselves to fall into the trap of pride and egotism, we are headed for a slip. Understanding our weakness and dependence on God is the beginning of strength. May I be granted humility. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ POSITIVE ATTITUDE ~ Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. Charles Swindoll I can't remember ever having a consistently good attitude. When I was younger, I usually wore a mask of a good attitude, so many people were attracted to the mask but not to the real me, and I knew it. It didn't help my attitude grow more positive. Coming into the Twelve Step program, my attitude was all negative. My theory was that if I expected the worst from everyone and everything, if by chance I got something better, I could be pleasantly surprised. This makes me laugh now. With that attitude, would ANYTHING ever be considered good enough to "pleasantly surprise" me? No, and it didn't. I ignored the many good things that happened--or I created a dark side to them. In a meeting, I once heard that positives attract positives, and negatives attract negatives. This has stuck with me for years. It might be a scientific thing, but for me it refers to attitude. When I make the choice to be in a bad mood, I struggle through the day. Nothing seems to go right, and if it does, I don't notice it or appreciate it. When I make the simple choice to be in a good mood despite whatever problems I'm facing, good things happen to me. People smile back, elevating my mood. I can find humor in things around me. The sun is shining even on a rainy day. It's all up to me. One Day at a Time . . . I will make the choice to be happy for just today. I will look for the good in myself, in others and in the situations around me. I will keep my attitude positive. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote To Christ I conceded the certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him. His moral teachings - most excellent. For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not too difficult; the rest I disregarded. - Pg. 11 - Bill's Story Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Let us speculate on another subtle 'trick' of our disease: It lies to us! 'It wasn't so bad; I'm not really out of control; everyone drinks a little; these people are stupid.' These are lies. I pray that the subtle lies of addiction go in one ear and out the other! Blessings I can lose my blessings. If I don't appreciate them, they can disappear. If I feel overly entitled, if I take what is mine for granted, if I behave as if it is simply owed me and I don't need to notice or appreciate them, I am literally telling them to shrink. There is a wisdom, even a divine sort of self-centerdness to gratitude, because what I focus on with appreciation has a way of expanding in my life. If I erase my blessings, I don't feed them with the grace of gratitude. If I give thanks for them, I show the creative force that brings forth all good things, that I am awake enough to appreciate what has been so generously given. I know enough to say thank you - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote You are an exceptional human being. There has never been anyone with your personality, ability, and unique way of seeing things. Take the world by storm because you have what it takes! I used to feel impending doom. Now I feel impending good. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Talking about the spiritual part of the program is like talking about the wet part of the ocean. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will accept all of me just as I am. I will put aside all judgments and I will rejoice at the miracle of my uniqueness. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote The highest rank in AA: Sober. - Ken. |
January 25
Daily Reflections WHAT WE NEED - EACH OTHER . . . . A.A. is really saying to every serious drinker, "You are an A.A. member if you say so . . . nobody can keep you out." TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 139 For years, whenever I reflected on Tradition Three ("The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking"), I thought it valuable only to newcomers. It was their guarantee that no one could bar them from A.A. Today I feel enduring gratitude for the spiritual development the Tradition has brought me. I don't seek out people obviously different from myself. Tradition Three, concentrating on the one way I am similar to others, brought me to know and help every kind of alcoholic, just as they have helped me. Charlotte, the atheist, showed me higher standards of ethics and honor; Clay, of another race, taught me patience; Winslow, who is gay, led me by example into true compassion; Young Megan says that seeing me at meetings, sober thirty years, keeps her coming back. Tradition Three insured that we would get what we need - each other. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day We used to depend on drinking for a lot of things. We depended on drinking to help us enjoy things. It gave us a "kick." It broke down our shyness and helped us to have a "good time." We depended on drinking to help us when we felt low physically. If we had a toothache or just a hangover, we felt better after a few drinks. We depended on drinking to help us when we felt low mentally. If we had a tough day at the office or if we'd had a fight with our wives, or if things just seemed against us, we felt better under the influence of alcohol. For us alcoholics, it got so that we depended on drinking for almost everything. Have I gotten over that dependence on drinking? Meditation For The Day I believe that complete surrender of my life to God is the foundation of serenity. God has prepared for us many mansions. I do not look upon that promise as referring only to the after-life. I do not look upon this life as something to be struggled through, in order to get the rewards of the next life. I believe that the Kingdom of God is within us and we can enjoy "eternal life" here and now. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may try to do God's will. I pray that such understanding, insight and vision shall be mine, and shall make my life eternal, here and now. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It We Cannot Stand Still, p. 25 In the first days of A.A., I wasn't much bothered about the areas of life in which I was standing still. There was always the alibi: "After all," I said to myself, "I'm far too busy with much more important matters." That was my near perfect prescription for comfort and complacency. << << << >> >> >> How many of us would presume to declare, "Well, Im sober and I'm happy. What more can I want, or do? I'm fine the way I am." We know that the price of such self-satisfaction is an inevitable backslide, punctuated at some point by a very rude awakening. We have to grow or else deteriorate. For us, the status quo can only be today, never for tomorrow. Change we must; we cannot stand still. 1. Grapevine, June 1961 2. Grapevine, February 1961 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Finding a Higher Good____Handling Trouble. There are times when things just don't work out, despite our best efforts. Even in sobriety, we can have business or marriage failures, accidents, sicknesses, or trouble in holding a job. Sobriety is no guarantee that things will always work out according to our expectancies. But no disappointment or failure has to throw us or cause permanent distress. It is some comfort to remember that the meeting of the first two AA members came out of a business failure, not a success. On many occasions, a disappointment or a setback can actually give a person the insight and understanding needed for a new, more successful effort. We do not, of course, want to rationalize failure. We should also accept responsibility when failure has been the result of negligence or wrong action on our part. Nevertheless, as we continue to seek and to follow God's guidance, w will find the course of our lives that fits our needs and capabilities. There is a higher good in everything. Even our drinking was indirectly beneficial in pushing us toward AA and the program's healing principles. I will not waste time today brooding over mistakes or losses. I'll know that God is in charge of my life and can turn liabilities into assets and defeats into victories. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The best way to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm.----Swedish proverb During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot. So, a lot of us come to recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn't be trusted. But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves. We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives. We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us. And from our spiritual center, we'll find our values. We'll live better lives. We'll come to trust ourselves again. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for helping me believe in myself again. I'll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list four ways I couldn't be trusted during my addiction. I'll also list four ways I can now be trusted. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning The time of discipline began. Each of us the pupil of whichever one of us could best teach what each of us needed to learn. --Maria Isabel Barreno "When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears." Life's lessons often come unexpectedly. They come, nevertheless, and they come according to a time frame that is Divine. As we grow emotionally and spiritually, we are readied for further lessons for which teachers will appear. Perhaps the teacher will be a loving relationship, a difficult loss, or a truant child. The time of learning is seldom free from pain and questioning. But from these experiences and what they can teach us, we are ready to learn. As we are ready, they come. We all enjoy the easy times when the sailing is smooth, when all is well, when we are feeling no pain. And these periods serve a purpose. They shore us up for the lessons which carry us to a stronger recovery, to a stronger sense of ourselves. To understand that all is well, throughout the learning process, is the basic lesson we need to learn. All is well. The teacher is the guide up the next rung of the ladder. Let me be grateful for my lessons today and know that all is well. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. “Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?” As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.* * Please be sure to read Appendix II on "Spiritual Experience." p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. My mother had been recently converted and, actually, had become a religious fanatic. That was her main neurotic manifestation. She was very possessive with us children. Mother drilled into me a very Puritanical point of view as to sex relations, as well as to motherhood and womanhood. I'm sure ideas as to what life should be like were quite different from that of the average person with whom I associated. Later on in life that took its toll. I realize that now. p. 232 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." But as time passed we found that with the help of A.A.'s Twelve Steps we could lose those fears, no matter what our material prospects were. We could cheerfully perform humble labor without worrying about tomorrow. If our circumstances happened to be good, we no longer dreaded a change for the worse, for we had learned that these troubles could be turned into great values. It did not matter too much what our material condition was, but it did matter what our spiritual condition was. Money gradually became our servant and not our master. It became a means of exchanging love and service with those about us. When, with God's help, we calmly accepted our lot, then we found we could live at peace with ourselves and show others who still suffered the same fears that they could get over them, too. We found that freedom from fear was more important than freedom from want. pp. 121-122 ************************************************** ********* "You cannot speak that which you do not know. You cannot share that which you do not feel. You cannot translate that which you do not have. And you cannot give that which you do not possess. To give it and to share it, and for it to be effective, you first need to have it. Good communication starts with good preparation." --Jim Rohn Each day is a gift from God to be used in serving others. --Ruth C. Borges "Confidence never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions." --Unknown "Stress comes from within; it is your reaction to circumstances, not the circumstances themselves." --Brian Tracy "Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting." --Anonymous "Hope is a gift we give ourselves, and it remains when all else is gone." --Criswell Freeman "You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with." --Wayne Dyer "The only limits to the possibilities in your life tomorrow are the buts you use today." --Les Brown ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation HONESTY "Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom." -- Thomas Jefferson It is impossible to have a spiritual program without being honest. It is impossible to be recovering from addiction without being honest. An aspect of sobriety is honesty. Today I can see that I was never really known when I was "using" because I was so dishonest. I stopped other people from getting to know me. I stopped me from getting to know me. Part of my pain involved my dishonesty; part of my loneliness and feelings of isolation was caused by my dishonesty; the unmanageability that nearly destroyed my life grew in my dishonesty. Today I need to be honest, rigorously honest --- even in the small things. I can no longer exist to please others --- I need to please myself. I need to love myself by being honest. O God of wisdom, let me find truth in the honesty of my own life. ************************************************** ********* "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you. Cast all your anxieties on Him, for He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:6-7 "Glory in his holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice." Psalm 105:3 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High,because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:35-38 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Avoid saying "No one knows." because God knows and understands more perfectly than we ourselves do. Calm my fears, Lord, and lift the burdens that I cannot carry alone. To have a great day isn't always doing what you like, but trying to like what you must do. Lord, today I will spruce up my attitude and have a great day no matter what my circumstances. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today An Added Gift " We see it happening among us every day This miraculous turnabout is evidence of a spiritual awakening." Basic Text p. 49 We watch them walk in to their first meeting defeated, their spirits broken. Their suffering is obvious, and their desire for help even more apparent. They collect a welcome chip and go back to their seats, shaken by the effort. We see them again, and they seem a little more comfortable. They've found a sponsor and are attending meetings every night. They still won't meet our glance, but they nod their heads in recognition as we share. We notice a spark of hope in their eyes, and they smile uncertainly when we encourage them to keep coming back. A few months later, they are standing straight. They've learned how to make eye contact. They're working the steps with their sponsor and are healing as a result. We listen to them sharing at meetings. We stack chairs with them afterward. A few years later, they are speaking at a convention workshop, They've got a wonderful, humorous personality. They smile when they see us, they hug us, and they tell us they could never have done it without us. And they understand when we say, "nor could we, without you." Just for today: I will find joy in witnessing the recovery of another. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear. --Lao-tzu A group of friends went swimming one day and one of them lost a ring in the bottom of the lake. Everyone started diving from different directions to find it until there was so much mud and sand stirred up that no one could see anything. Finally, they decided to clear the water. They waited silently on the edge of the shore for the mud from all their activity to settle. When it finally cleared, one person dove in slowly and picked up the ring. When we are confused about something in our lives, we will often hear answers and advice from all directions. Our friends will tell us one thing and our families another, until we feel pretty well mixed up. If we look away from our problem and let patience and time do their work, the mud inside us will settle and clear. Our answer will become visible, like the glimmer of silver in the water. Am I overlooking the simple solution? You are reading from the book Touchstones. A richer, more fulfilling, and more peaceful masculine spirituality will depend in no small measure upon new ways of learning to be sexual. --James B. Nelson For most men, sexuality is one of the central issues in recovery. Our addictive and codependent lives have been fed by an overemphasis on genital sexuality, satisfaction, and performance. Sex is so limited by this emphasis that many men have become more unhappy while becoming sexual athletes. We need to learn how to deepen our sexual experiences. We can allow ourselves the vulnerability of learning from our partners. We need to know how they relate to us, and how we can have both a spiritual and a physical connection. We can allow ourselves to be in loving relationships and enjoy the pleasure of touch. Consummation may not always be in orgasm, but in intimacy. Today, I may experience my sexuality in many ways. My spiritual growth cannot be separated from how I learn to be sexual. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. The time of discipline began. Each of us the pupil of whichever one of us could best teach what each of us needed to learn. --Maria Isabel Barreno "When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears." Life's lessons often come unexpectedly. They come, nevertheless, and they come according to a time frame that is Divine. As we grow emotionally and spiritually, we are readied for further lessons for which teachers will appear. Perhaps the teacher will be a loving relationship, a difficult loss, or a truant child. The time of learning is seldom free from pain and questioning. But from these experiences and what they can teach us, we are ready to learn. As we are ready, they come. We all enjoy the easy times when the sailing is smooth, when all is well, when we are feeling no pain. And these periods serve a purpose. They shore us up for the lessons which carry us to a stronger recovery, to a stronger sense of ourselves. To understand that all is well, throughout the learning process, is the basic lesson we need to learn. All is well. The teacher is the guide up the next rung of the ladder. Let me be grateful for my lessons today and know that all is well. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Step One We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable. --Step One of Al-Alon There are many different versions of the First Step for recovering codependents. Some of us admit powerlessness over alcohol or another's alcoholism. Some of us admit powerlessness over people; some over the impact of growing up in an alcoholic family. One of the most significant words in the First Step is the word we. We come together because of a common problem, and, in the coming together, we find a common solution. Through the fellowship of Twelve Step programs, many of us discover that although we may have felt alone in our pain, others have experienced a similar suffering. And now many are joining hands in a similar recovery. We. A significant part of recovery. A shared experience. A shared strength, stronger for the sharing. A shared hopes - for better lives and relationships. Today, I will be grateful for the many people across the world who call themselves "recovering codependents." Help me know that each time one of us takes a step forward, we pull the entire group forward. As I go about my day I trust all my decisions to my positive inner guide. Nothing from the past will block me or hold me back. Today is mine to use for growth and recovery. I love myself today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Cherish Your Favorite Spaces Our world abounds with quiet, free sources of revitalization. “I love going into fabric stores,” one woman told me recently. “I love touching, handling, fondling all the colorful bolts of material. It makes me feel good. It makes me feel happy. “My favorite activity is spending an afternoon at the library,” one man told me. “If I could only do one thing in life, go one place, that’s what I’d choose. I lose myself in the pages of the books. They take me to faraway places, places I’ve never seen. And when I leave the library, I feel like I’ve been touched and changed.” What are the places you like to visit in your town or city? Do you enjoy browsing through a bookstore? Is there a favorite shopping center in your neighborhood where the shopkeepers smile a little more and the window displays please your heart? Do you have a favorite restaurant where drinking a cup of tea changes your mood? Cherish old favorite spaces, and open yourself to discovering new places. Healing doesn’t have to be extravagant, expensive, or traditional. Sometimes it just means going to the places that make us feel good. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go What do you want? Imagine walking up to the counter at the local fast-food restaurant and asking if they had your order ready. “What order?” the counterperson would ask. “Did you phone one in?” “No, but I thought you might have something for me behind the counter anyway.” It’s absurd, you might say. How could I expect them to have food ready for me when I hadn’t yet placed my order. Exactly. And how can you expect the magic of the universe to start bringing you the things and experiences that you want for your life if you haven’t named them yet? Have you placed an order yet? Maybe you thought about it at the beginning of the year, but put it off until you had more time to think about it. And every day you wake up and stand at the counter of life asking, “What do you have for me?” If you haven’t asked for anything, you may have to settle for whatever life hands your way. Why not take the time to ask? You don’t have to be too specific, just ask for what you want. Want adventure? Put it on the list. Want love? Write it down. There is no guarantee that you’ll get everything you request. Life may have other plans for you. But you’ll never know whether you can get what you want unless you know what that is, and ask for it first. God, help me have the courage to bring the desires of my heart to my conscious mind, and to you. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Even with a growing understanding of The Program and its Twelve Steps, we sometimes might find it difficult to believe that our new way of life leads to personal freedom. Suppose, for example, I feel imprisoned in an uncomfortable job or troublesome personal relationship. What am I doing about it? In the past, my reflex reaction was to try to manipulate the things and people around me into being more acceptable to me. Today, I realize that happiness can’t be won that way. Am I learning that freedom from despair and frustration can come only from changing, in myself, the attitudes that are perpetuating the conditions that cause me grief? Today I Pray May I be given clear eyes to see — and then to stop myself — when I am manipulating the lives of those around me, my daily associates, friends, family. May I always be aware that change must begin within myself. Today I Will Remember Change from the inside out. ***************************************** One More Day Self-Understanding rather than Self-Condemnation is the way to inner peace adn mature conscience. – Joshua Loth Liebman We can be committees of one, single-handedly striving to show others, by example, that having a chronic medical problem need not keep us out of the mainstream of life. Our health difficulties may heighten our awareness of the value of life, of other people, and of ourselves. We can hold our heads up high and go out in public. In this way, we refuse to let our dimished health subdue us. By being comfortable with ourselves, smiling at passers-by, and not complaining, we can create an aura of strength and self-assurance. Doing this can challenge and inspire others, and – more importantly — it can do the same for us. It’s difficult sometimes to leave the security of my home. The more I understand my fears, the easier it is to go out among other people. ************************************ Food For Thought Sharpening Our Tools What we do each day is not as important as how we do it. If we are abstaining, working the program, and staying in touch with the Higher Power, then whatever we do during the day will go as it should. When we get careless and sloppy with abstinence, neglect to use the tools of OA recovery, forget the Twelve Steps, then we may expect trouble. When we are out of touch with our Higher Power and our OA friends, then nothing seems to go as it should. If you feel yourself becoming careless, then make that neglected phone call, read and re-read the literature, go to a meeting today. Listen within yourself for the quiet voice God uses to give you enthusiasm and direction. We may each become God's tool if we keep ourselves in good working order through this program. Make me an effective tool to do Your will. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ MOVING ON ~ Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. Eileen Caddy As a child, teen, and young adult, I was sexually, emotionally, mentally and physically abused. I was neglected as well. By the time I was a young woman, the "abuse" was history, and I was left dealing with a very sick family. But I could not let go of my abused past! The abuse became the topic of every conversation I had. Anything I saw on TV or read in a book or newspaper brought to mind the past. I awoke in the middle of the night to relive my childhood nightmares for a few hours before crying myself back to sleep. I spent entire days staring at the television, eating to numb myself from my pain and anger. Eventually, I wanted more from my life. I became disgusted with myself and what my life had become. I was led to a Twelve Step group. There I learned how to let go of the past, to work through it, to make amends for my part in things, and to forgive those who abused me. Today, when I discuss the abuse I suffered, which is seldom, I can do so without the anger and pain bubbling up. I can help others with my story, and then I can let it go. It is my history, but it's no longer ruling my present. Like Thomas Raddall said, "Don't brood on what's past, but never forget it either." One Day at a Time . . . I will make amends and forgive others, not for them, but for me. I pray to live in today, to make it the best day I can. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote When the spiritual malady is overcome, we straighten out mentally and physically. - Pg.64 - How It Works Hour To Hour - Book - Quote 'Live and Let Live' sounds like a simple phrase, but in fact it is imperative for us to practice. When we try to control the actions of others, it only leads to anger, resentment, fury, and finally to a slip. Higher Power, increase my tolerance so I can 'Live and Let Live' so that I 'Don't Let Live and Die! Inner Peace There is peace within me that I can draw on each and every day. I will remind myself to take a few moments today, to center myself. I will breathe. I will sit. And when I go about my day I will carry that lovely feeling of inner peace around with me. There is nothing in my day that is more important than my serenity. Today, I will pay attention to the myriad of ways in which I am thrown off balance. When I feel myself losing my serenity, I'll take a moment to center myself, to breathe, to connect with that part of me that is eternal and unchanging. I'll remind myself that when I can calm my body, mind and spirit, I interact differently with the people, places and things of my day. I am here. My spirit is here. My serenity is at my fingertips. I am in charge of my deeper experience of living. I connect with my divine self and the diving energy that is ever present. I give myself the gift of inner peace. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Let go or be dragged. I pray for the willingness to be willing to be willing to let go absolutely. (P 97, Meeting Wisdom) "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. Page 449. (From the Big Book, 4th edition-now Page 417 from the 5th edition) Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I go about my day I trust all my decisions to my positive inner guide. Nothing from the past will block me or hold me back. Today is mine to use for growth and recovery. I love myself today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I can't get too cocky around AA. I can be a peacock one day and a feather duster the next. - Unknown origin. |
January 26
Daily Reflections RIGOROUS HONESTY Who wishes to be rigorously honest and tolerant? Who wants to confess his faults to another and make restitution for harm done? Who cares anything about a Higher Power, let alone meditation and prayer? Who wants to sacrifice time and energy in trying to carry A.A.'s message to the next sufferer? No, the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme, doesn't care for this prospect - unless he has to do these things in order to stay alive himself. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 24 I am an alcoholic. If I drink I will die. My, what power, energy, and emotion this simple statement generates in me! But it's really all I need to know for today. Am I willing to stay alive today? Am I willing to stay sober today? Am I willing to ask for help and am I willing to be a help to another suffering alcoholic today? Have I discovered the fatal nature of my situation? What must I do, today, to stay sober? ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day As we became alcoholics, the bad effects of drinking came more and more to outweigh the good effects. But the strange part of it is that, no matter what drinking did to us, loss of our health, our jobs, our money and our homes, we still stuck to it and depended on it. Our dependence on drinking became an obsession. In A.A., we find a new outlook on life. We learn how to change from alcoholic thinking to sober thinking. And we find out that we can no longer depend on drinking for anything. We depend on a Higher Power instead. Have I entirely given up that dependence on drinking? Meditation For The Day I will try to keep my life calm and unruffled. This is my great task, to find peace and acquire serenity. I must not harbor disturbing thoughts. No matter what fears, worries and resentments I may have, I must try to think of constructive things, until calmness comes. Only when I am calm can I act as a channel for God's spirit. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may build up instead of tearing down. I pray that I may be constructive and not destructive. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It True Independence of the Spirit, p. 26 The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually are. Therefore, dependence as A.A. practices it is really a means of gaining true independence of the spirit. At the level of everyday living, it is startling to discover how dependent we really are, and how unconscious of that dependence. Every modern house has electric wiring carrying power and light to its interior. By accepting with delight our dependence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves personally more independent, more comfortable and secure. Power flows just where it is needed. Silently and surely, electricity, that strange energy so few people understand, meets our simplest daily needs. Though we readily accept this principle of healthy dependence in many of our temporal affairs, we often fiercely resist the identical principle when asked to apply it as a means of growth in the life of the spirit. Clearly, we shall never know freedom under God until we try to seek His will for us. The choice is ours. 12 & 12, p. 36 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Pray For Potatoes___Faith and Works One of the sayings heard at AA meetings is "Pray for potatoes but grab a hoe." This says that both prayer and action are needed to get favorable results in our lives. But recovering alcoholics do not really need to be told to "grab a hoe." One of our problems is that we often worked too hard for certain ends, only to lose out in the long run. What we really need to know is that our prayers work with our actions to bring about good results. The saying should be "Pray for potatoes and grab a hoe." Faith and actions are both needed. In the strong belief that God is working through us, we can do our own work with confidence and gratitude. Our own efforts are strengthened when we know that we are not alone. We may even receive inspiration and new understanding as we continue on this path. Changes in our lives will turn out to be positive and beneficial if we remind ourselves that God is in charge of the process. Under the right conditions, potatoes grow in a miraculous way. Other projects will also come to maturity in our lives under God's direction. I will be grateful for the opportunity to work today. Moreover, I will know that a Higher Power is living and working in my life. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple The best way to find a helping hand is at the end of your arm.----Swedish proverb During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot. So, a lot of us come to recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn't be trusted. But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves. We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives. We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us. And from our spiritual center, we'll find our values. We'll live better lives. We'll come to trust ourselves again. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thank-you for helping me believe in myself again. I'll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to. Action for the Day: Today, I'll list four ways I couldn't be trusted during my addiction. I'll also list four ways I can now be trusted. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, And show the world all the love in your heart, Then people gonna treat you better. You're gonna find, yes, you will, That you're beautiful as you feel. --Carole King "Act as if." There's magic in behaving the way we want to be, even though we don't yet feel it. The behavior seems to lead the way. The attitude, the mental state, follows. Many days we may not get up with love in our hearts for our family, our friends, our co-workers. We may, in fact, want them to show their love for us first. But if we reach out, give love unconditionally; focus on another's needs, love will return tenfold. And the act of loving them will lift our own spirits. We will know love; we will feel love for ourselves and the many other persons close to us. The attitude we cultivate, whether one of love or selfishness, inferiority or superiority, will determine how the events of our lives affect us. The principle is so simple. If we meet life with love, with a smile, we'll find love and something to smile about. My attitude will make this day what it becomes. Meeting it head-on, with love, will assure me of a lovely day. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS That was great news to us, for we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult to believe. When people presented us with spiritual approaches, how frequently did we all say, “I wish I had what that man has. I’m sure it would work if I could only believe as he believes. But I cannot accept as surely true the many articles of faith which are so plain to him.” So it was comforting to learn that we could commence at a simpler level. p. 47 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. About this time an incident took place in grade school that I have never forgotten because it made me realize that I was a physical coward. During recess we were playing basketball, and I had accidentally tripped a fellow just a little larger than I was. He took the basketball and smashed me in the face with it. That was enough provocation to fight but I didn't fight, and I realized after recess why I didn't. It was fear. That hurt and disturbed me a great deal. p. 232 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Let's here take note of our improved outlook upon the problems of personal importance, power, ambition, and leadership. These were reefs upon which many of us came to shipwreck during our drinking careers. p. 122 ************************************************** ********* A.A. is not something you join, it's a way of life. He who has fed a stranger may have fed an angel. --The Talmud There's no elevator; you have to take the Steps. Look for God's image in the people you meet. --Robert E. Lea "It takes no more time to see the good side of life than it takes to see the bad." --Jimmy Buffet "It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities." --Josiah Stamp "One can easily understand a child's fear of the dark, but what is the greatest tragedy in life is the grown man who is afraid of the light." --Plato ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation FAITH "The ablest men in all walks of modern life are men of faith." -- Bruce Barton It is important for those of us who have been crushed by the disease of addiction to have faith that life will get better. We stopped "using" or being co-dependent because the behavior was destroying us. Our lives were disintegrating in negative behavior and attitudes. Now we have chosen a different way to live. Today I seek to find God in my freedom of choice, my ability to change. I have faith in the daily belief that my life will get better so long as I avoid those things that hurt me. My faith enables me to change. O God, my faith in me reflects my belief in You. ************************************************** ********* "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers." Psalm 1:1-3 "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1 Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration We can show God that we truly love Him by the way we speak and live. May I be inspiring, Lord, and may everyone that I meet find You. Avoid negative thinking because this leads to unnecessary worry. Lord, I rely on You to guide and sustain me and I know that with You I can move easily around life's obstacles. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Self-Centeredness " The spiritual part of our disease is our total self-centeredness." Basic Text p. 20 What is self-centeredness? It is our belief that the world revolves around us. Our wishes, our demands are the only ones worth consideration. Our self-centered minds believe they are capable of getting everything they want if only they would be left to their own devices. SeIf-centeredness assumes total self-sufficiency. We say that self-centeredness is the spiritual part of our disease because the self-centered mind cannot conceive of anything greater or more important than itself. But there is a spiritual solution to our spiritual malady: the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. The steps lead us away from self-centeredness and toward Godcenteredness. We strip away our delusion of self-sufficiency by admitting our own powerlessness and seeking the aid of a Power greater than ourselves. We acknowledge the bankruptcy of our self-righteousness by admitting we've been wrong, making amends, and seeking knowledge of what's right from the God our understanding. And we deflate our overwhelming sense of self-importance by seeking to serve others, not only ourselves. The self-centeredness afflicting our spirit can be treated with a spiritual solution: the Twelve Steps. Just for today: My guidance and my strength comes from a Higher Power, not from my own self. I will practice the Twelve Steps to become more God-centered and less self-centered. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Nothing is more difficult than competing with a myth. --Francoise Giroud Sometimes we think we need to try and be something we're not. Maybe we feel pressure from friends to behave or dress like someone else. All we need to do is remember when we were younger and dressed in our parents' clothes and shoes. We pretended to be grownups, and it was fun for a while. Then the huge shoes on our feet grew clumsy and uncomfortable and the mountain of rolled-up sleeves kept falling down and getting in the way. Soon we grew tired of the game and stopped pretending. Today when we start feeling the pressure to be someone else, let's remember how hard it is to play a role that doesn't fit us. What can I do today that is most like me? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Within every man there is the reflection of a woman, and within every woman there is the reflection of a man. Within every man and woman there is also the reflection of an old man and an old woman, a little boy and a little girl. --Hyemeyohsts Storm This Cheyenne teaching reminds us of our connections - inside ourselves and with other people. Reading this passage, we are seeing it partly with the eyes of that small child who first learned to read. And perhaps, looking in the mirror today, we can see the traces of the old men we are becoming. We have been close to our mothers or sisters or lovers and have found parts of ourselves in them. By gently welcoming the children we once were, the old men we will be, the part of us that has a woman's outlook, we become wiser, stronger, and more spiritual. We don't need to be frightened or disrespectful of the parts of ourselves that don't feel 100 percent virile. We can have virility and many other sides too. Such awareness creates peace with ourselves. I will notice the reflection of small children in old faces, old people in children's faces, and men and women in each other. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face, And show the world all the love in your heart, Then people gonna treat you better. You're gonna find, yes, you will, That you're beautiful as you feel. --Carole King "Act as if." There's magic in behaving the way we want to be, even though we don't yet feel it. The behavior seems to lead the way. The attitude, the mental state, follows. Many days we may not get up with love in our hearts for our family, our friends, our co-workers. We may, in fact, want them to show their love for us first. But if we reach out, give love unconditionally; focus on another's needs, love will return tenfold. And the act of loving them will lift our own spirits. We will know love; we will feel love for ourselves and the many other persons close to us. The attitude we cultivate, whether one of love or selfishness, inferiority or superiority, will determine how the events of our lives affect us. The principle is so simple. If we meet life with love, with a smile, we'll find love and something to smile about. My attitude will make this day what it becomes. Meeting it head-on, with love, will assure me of a lovely day. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Off The Hook We can learn not to get hooked into unhealthy, self-defeating behaviors in relationships - behaviors such as caretaking, controlling, discounting ourselves, and believing lies. We can learn to watch for and identify hooks, and choose not to allow ourselves to be hooked. Often, people do things consciously or without thinking that pulls us into a series of our self-defeating behaviors we call codependency. More often than not, these hooks can be almost deliberate, and the results predictable. Someone may stand before us and hint or sigh about a problem, knowing or hoping that hint or sigh will hook us into taking care of him or her. That is manipulation. When people stand around us and hint and sigh about something, then coyly say, "Oh, never mind, that's not for you to worry about," that's a game. We need to recognize it. We're about to get sucked in, if we allow that to happen. We can learn to insist that people ask us directly for what they want and need. What are the words, the signs, the looks, the hints, and the cues that hook us into a predictable and often self-defeating behavior? What makes you feel sympathy? Guilt? Responsible for another? Our strong point is that we care so much. Our weak point is that we often underestimate the people with whom we're dealing. They know what they're doing. It is time we give up our naive assumption that people don't follow agendas of their own in their best interest, and not necessarily in ours. We also want to check ourselves out. Do we give out hooks, looks, hints, hoping to hook another? We need to insist that we behave in a direct and honest manner with others, instead of expecting them to rescue us. If someone wants something from us, insist that the person ask us directly for it. Require the same from us. If someone baits the hook, we don't have to bite it. Today, I will be aware of the hooks that snag me into the caretaking acts that leave me feeling victimized. I will ignore the hints, looks, and words that hook me, and wait for the directness and honesty others, and I deserve. Nothing can stop me from growing today. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart See Life Through the Eyes of Your Soul Once many, many years ago, I woke up in the middle of the night. Only I wasn’t in bed sleeping. I was on the ceiling looking down at my body lying on the bed. I studied myself, a little surprised at how unusual I looked from the outside. The next thing I knew, I was back in bed. My soul reconnected with my body. That experience was the beginning of a journey that led me to understand I was more than a body. I had a soul. I was about to embark on a path that would consciously connect me to that soul– experiences on the path to freeing my soul. Throughout my life, I have had many conscious desires and expectations about my life. I wanted this, I wanted that. I wanted my life to be arranged just so. What I’ve understood over time is that the journey I’m taking is not one based on arranging my life in a particular way, then keeping it just so. The journey I’ve been on and what I’ve been seeking has been the journey of my soul. Much in life can cause us distress and discomfort when we look with our conscious mind. But if we look beyond what we can see on the surface, we’ll begin to see with the eyes of the soul. The lessons run deep. Often they take time to learn. We learn about power. We learn about love. Courage. Faith. Saying good-bye. Embracing deep love for ourselves. Learn to see life with the eyes of your soul. Experience all the emotions that are there. Discover your truths. Seek conscious peace as much as you can, and seek peace in your soul as well. Let your soul lead you through meadows and take you down deep into the valleys, for all your experiences are just that– experiences– on this mysterious journey of the soul. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Be a thermostat There’s a thermometer on my back porch. It tells me when it’s hot enough to go for a swim. Inside the house, there’s a thermostat. The thermostat not only tells us how hot or cold it is, but will actually do something about it as well. If the temperature gets too warm, the thermostat tells the air conditioner to cool off the house. If it gets too cool, the thermostat tells the heater to warm things up a bit. Which are you? Are you a thermometer– only reflecting the attitudes of those around you? Or are you a thermostat– determining your own course of action and following through with it? Thermometer people often know where they are; they just don’t do anything about it. I’m stuck in this relationship. I’m really angry, resentful, and upset. Thermostat people are aware of where they are,too. They just choose to do something about it, as well. I’m in this relationship, and I will do everything that I can to improve it. But if necessary, I will walk away from it. Being a thermostat means we take appropriate action to take care of ourselves. God, help me learn to respond to whatever environment I’m in by taking appropriate actions to take care of myself. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Personal freedom is mine for the taking. No matter how close are the ties of love and concern that bind me to my family and friends, I must always remember that I am an individual, free to be myself and live my own life in serenity and joy. The key word is this realization is personal. For I can free myself from many involvements that seem necessary. Through The Program, I am learning to develop my own personality. Am I reinforcing my personal freedom by leaving others free to control their actions and destinies? today I Pray May I find personal freedom, by reevaluating associations, establishing new priorities, gaining respect for my own person hood. May I give others equal room to find their own kinds of personal freedoms. Today I Will Remember Take the liberty; it’s yours. ***************************************** One More Day In human relationships, closeness and warmth only occur when we ask about one another . . . when we seek to know how we can help one another. Until we ask, we will never know. – Bernard S. Raskas Who are our close friends? We should cherish friendships and protect them as vigorously as we would a newborn infant. When a friend comes to us needing our help, we are forced into making a decision. One choice — abandonment — means we lose a friend. The other option means that the question, “What can I do to help you?” is no longer rhetorical, it is a commitment to helpfulness. We may even have to put ourselves at risk, especially emotionally, but we can bee a friend who stays around when a crisis occurs. ************************************ Food For Thought Planning There is a saying in our group to the effect that if we fail to plan, we plan to fail. If we do not have a food plan each day, we leave ourselves vulnerable to the attack of impulse and old habit. Most of us find that we need to write down our three measured meals. Many of us continue to call them in to a food sponsor, even after the initial twenty-one days of abstinence. We can then go about the activities of the day without worrying about what we will eat. We become free to live without being obsessed with food. Our pride often balks at the thought of calling another person and asking for help. We do not like to be committed to an eating plan. Let's remember that we tried to go it alone our own way, and that old way did not work. Let's be willing to try a new way that has worked for hundreds of OA members who are now at normal weight. By Thy Grace, Lord, may I follow my food plan today. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ HOPE ~ In the hour of adversity be not without hope, For crystal rain falls from black clouds. Persian poem When I was a child, I lived in a fantasy world and dreamed of all the wonderful things that would happen to me when I grew up. I would have a wonderful husband, beautiful children, a fulfilling job and, of course, I would be thin. Unfortunately the fantasy never materialized, and even when I did lose weight my life wasn't the perfect life that I had envisioned. I would lose weight and then promptly regain it. Life in general seemed so empty and futile. No matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to work. I hated myself and my life; it often seemed pointless to go on. When I walked into the doors of the first meeting I ever attended, there was something on the faces of the people I met there. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I saw something that I wanted. It wasn't that they were all thin, because many of them were not. So what was it that these people had that I didn't? What they had was the hope of recovery. If they were willing to reach out to a Higher Power of their understanding, and if they would work the program one day at a time, then this would guarantee them recovery. I didn't know what recovery meant then. Because all I wanted was to lose weight, and because I wanted what they had, I was prepared to do what they were doing. I realized then that it wasn't only about the weight, although that does play a part. These people were learning how to live their life sanely, and even when they struggled with life, as we do from time to time, there was always the hope that they could get through those difficult times by using the tools and reaching out to others in the fellowship. One Day at a Time . . . Even when I am going through difficult times and the future looks gloomy, I have hope that it will get better if I'm willing to work a simple program. ~ Sharon S. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote He will presently try the old game again, for he isn't happy about his sobriety. He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end. - Pg. 152 - A Vision For You Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Sometimes we are confused about what to do. But we tell people, 'Do the next right thing.' We do know what is right and what is wrong from the age of seven. Often our mind tries to muddy our thinking by making excuses or rationalizing. You really do know the right thing to do. Higher Power, of my understanding, please let me respond to the right and wrong of my Higher Self--for the basic knowledge that was once so clear. Shifting My Feeling States When I shift my own thinking and feeling states, I shift my body states as well, because emotions travel through me as body chemicals. In a way, I am what I think about all day. I can shift what I am feeling by consciously changing my thoughts and I can shift what I'm thinking, by consciously evening out my emotional states. I will place my attention on my heart and imagine myself in a calm and serene state. As my heart calms, so does my body. When I can consciously breathe in and out of my heart zone, and imagine that part of me entering a state of ease and serenity, I actually contribute to my emotional, psychological and physical health. I calm my heart - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Egoism isn't necessarily thinking a lot of yourself--just thinking of yourself a lot. I begin this day by thinking of another first. Who is distressed or frightened that I may offer words of comfort? "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Alcoholism is an incurable disease; loneliness is not. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Nothing can stop me from growing today. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I'm hardest to love when I need love the most. - Anon. |
January 27
Daily Reflections FREEDOM FROM GUILT Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word "blame" from our speech and thought. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 47 When I become willing to accept my own powerlessness, I begin to realize that blaming myself for all the trouble in my life can be an ego trip back into hopelessness. Asking for help and listening deeply to the messages inherent in the Steps and Traditions of the program make it possible to change those attitudes which delay my recovery. Before joining A.A., I had such a desire for approval from people in powerful positions that I was willing to sacrifice myself, and others, to gain a foothold in the world. I invariably came to grief. In the program I find true friends who love, understand, and care to help me learn the truth about myself. With the help of the Twelve Steps, I am able to build a better life, free of guilt and the need for self-justification. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day An alcoholic carries an awful load around with them. What a load lying puts on your shoulders! Drinking makes liars out of all of us alcoholics. In order to get all the liquor we want, we have to lie all the time. We have to lie about where we've been and what we've been doing. When you are lying you are only half alive, because of the fear of being found out. When you come into A.A., and get honest with yourself and with other people, that terrible load of lying falls off your shoulders. Have I got rid of that load of lying? Meditation For The Day I believe that in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. As fears and worries and resentments depart out of my life, the things of the spirit come in to take their places. Calm comes after a storm. As soon as I am rid of fears and hates and selfishness, God's love and peace and calm can come in. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may rid myself of all fears and resentments, so that peace and serenity may take their place. I pray that I may sweep my life clean of evil, so that good may come in. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Daily Reprieve, p. 27 We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. << << << >> >> >> We of A.A. obey spiritual principles, at first because we must, then because we ought to, and ultimately because we love the kind of life such obedience brings. Great suffering and great love are A.A.'s disciplinarians; we need no others. 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 85 2. 12 & 12, p. 174 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Live and let live____Tolerance For countless reasons, people with drinking problems blunder into conflicts with others. It's not unusual to hear that a person has not spoken to a relative for y ears as a result of some foolish misunderstanding. Some of us, sad to say, cling to old grievances even after we come into AA. The key to peace in our lives is the slogan "Live and Let Live." If we reflect on this slogan a bit, we want to live freely, and we ought to let others choose their lifestyles without interference from us. After all, if there was anything we alcoholics resented, it was the busybody who tried to shape our lives for us. Nobody has the competence or understanding to tell us how we should live, nor should we try to control other people. We have a big job to do in overcoming our own problems. We have neither the time nor the wisdom to run other people's lives. "Live and Let Live," if followed by every person and nation, would bring universal peace. We can use the slogan wisely to end conflicts in our lives and to terminate new ones before they develop into serious problems. I'll remember today that nobody appointed me guardian of my neighbors' manners and morals. I have a full-time job keeping myself straight. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple They is no they, only us .--Bumper sticker For most of us, addiction was full of doubt. We stopped believing in ourselves. Our thoughts had turned to "stinking thinking." We didn't believe in much of anything. We didn't take risk. We always looked for the easier, softer way. In recovery, we start to believe again. We believe in the program. We believe in a Higher Power. We believe in people. And, over time, we believe in ourselves again. We become better at taking risk. We are able to stay sober because we believe, because we take risk. As we stay sober, we can face almost anything---with the help of others. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I have learned to believe in You. Help me believe in myself. I have something to give to this world. Help me give it freely. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Surviving meant being born over and over. --Erica Jong We have decided to live. And each day we make the decision anew. Each time we call a friend, work a Step, or go to a meeting, we are renewing our contract with life. We are being reborn. Before coming to this program we died, emotionally and spiritually, many times. Some of us nearly died physically. But here we are, starting a new day, looking for guidance from one another. We are the survivors. And survival is there for the taking. We will have days when we struggle with our decision to live. We will want to throw in the towel. We will want to give in or give up. But we've learned from one another about choices. And the choice to survive, knowing we never have to do it alone, gets easier with time. I am one of the survivors. Today is my day for celebration. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. Many of us have been so touchy that even casual reference to spiritual things make us bristle with antagonism. This sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Though some of us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting aside such feelings. Faced with alcoholic destruction, we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters as we had tried to be on other questions. In this respect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us into a state of reasonableness. Sometimes this was a tedious process; we hope no one else will prejudiced for as long as some of us were. pp. 47-48 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. Mother was of the old school and figured that anyone I associated with should be of the proper type. Of course, in my day, times had changed; she just hadn't changed with the times. I don't know whether it was right or wrong, but at least I know that people weren't thinking the same. We weren't even permitted to play cards in our house, but Father would give us just a little toddy with whiskey and sugar and warm water now and then. We had no whiskey in the house, other than my father's private stock. I never saw him drunk in my life, although he'd take a shot in the morning and usually one in the evening, and so did I; but for the most part he kept his whisky in his office. The only time that I ever saw my mother take anything alcoholic was around Christmas time, when she would drink some eggnog or light wine. p. 233 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." Practically every boy in the United States dreams of becoming our President. He wants to be his country's number one man. As he gets older and sees the impossibility of this, he can smile good-naturedly at his childhood dream. In later life he finds that real happiness is not to be found in just trying to be a number one man, or even a first-rater in the heartbreaking struggle for money, romance, or self-importance. He learns that he can be content as long as he plays well whatever cards life deals him. He's still ambitious, but not absurdly so, because he can now see and accept actual reality. He's willing to stay right size. p. 122 ************************************************** ********* Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop. --Ovid It's not what you were, it's what you are today. --David Marion Very little is needed to make a happy life. --Marcus Aurelius Antoninus A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something. --Wilson Mizne Times of fellowship with God are the foundation for serving others. --Doris M. Orr ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SEX "Sexual pleasure, wisely used and not abused, may prove the stimulus and liberator of our finest and most exalted activities." -- Havelock Ellis Sex is most beautiful because it enables the human being to experience and give love at an intimate and personal level. It also combines all the spiritual senses of body, mind and feeling in one expression, balancing tenderness with strength, patience with desire, need with selflessness. Also the awareness and experience of a beautiful sexuality should be taken into all other manifestations of life --- work, leisure, friendship, sports and prayer. The gift of sex is one of our finest and most creative attributes and leads to all that is noble in man, therefore, it should not be used irresponsibly. Today I understand that I have a responsibility to the gifts that God has shared with me. May I find in my sexuality an awareness of You. ************************************************** ********* "Take good care to observe the commandment, and the law which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, to love the Lord your God, and to walk in all his ways, and to keep his commandments, and to cleave to him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul." Joshua 22:5 Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths. Psalm 25:4 "Seek the Lord and his strength, seek his presence continually." 1 Chronicles 16:11 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration There is no hurt that God cannot heal. Be with me, Lord, when I am in trouble and don't know where to go. It is far wiser to ask God for what He thinks is good for us, than for what we think is good for us. Lord, Your Will not mine be done. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Learning how to live again " We learn new ways to live. We are no longer limited to our old ideas." Basic Text p. 54 We may or may not have been taught right from wrong and other basics of life as children. No matter, by the time we found recovery, most of us had only the vaguest idea of how to live. Our isolation from the rest of society had caused us to ignore basic human responsibilities and develop bizarre survival skills to cope with the world we lived in. Some of us didn't know how to tell the truth; others were so frank we wounded everyone we talked to. Some of us couldn't cope with the simplest of personal problems, while others attempted solving the problems of the whole world. Some of us never got angry, even when receiving unfair treatment; others busily lodged complaints against everyone and everything. Whatever our problems, no matter how extreme, we all have a chance in Narcotics Anonymous to learn how to live anew. Perhaps we need to learn kindness and how to care about others. Perhaps we need to accept personal responsibilities. Or maybe we need to overcome fear and take some risks. We can be certain of one thing: Each day, simply by living life, we'll learn something new. Just for today: I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, I'll learn something new. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. When men are rightfully occupied, then their amusement grows out of their work as the color petals out of a fruitful garden. --John Ruskin What do we need most in order to be happy? Certainly we all need to be loved. Yet we need even more than that. The spirit also wishes to be needed. When we are needed, no matter what age we are, we serve a purpose for others. When we are needed, we will be loved, as well as respected, imitated, and rewarded with gratitude. Our needs are not great empty pits to be filled any way we can. They are the couplings by which we connect to those we love. Our needs also tell us what others want, and how to enrich their lives--which also enriches ours. How do we become needed? We have only to look at our own needs and give what we need to others--love, respect, kindness, and generosity. When we realize we are needed, we realize we also need others. What do I need that I can give to another person today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. --Bill Lemley Being overcritical and irritable has been common to most of us. Some of us go around with controlled smiles while underneath we are grumbling. Others blast everyone around them. Some of us save our most critical reactions for those we love while staying sweet and friendly with the outside world. In any case, we are caught in a blinding trap. We may know we feel trapped but do not see that our problem is mainly with ourselves. We need to look at our relationships. Have we been falling into a pattern where no one seems to measure up? Are we also being too critical or demanding of ourselves? Perhaps we don't need to lower our standards so much as to hold them less tightly. If we can be friends to ourselves and give ourselves a little more leeway, we can be more easygoing with others. I cannot force myself to be less critical, but I can let go of my willfulness so my more easygoing side comes forward. I can be less judgmental of others and myself. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Surviving meant being born over and over. --Erica Jong We have decided to live. And each day we make the decision anew. Each time we call a friend, work a Step, or go to a meeting, we are renewing our contract with life. We are being reborn. Before coming to this program we died, emotionally and spiritually, many times. Some of us nearly died physically. But here we are, starting a new day, looking for guidance from one another. We are the survivors. And survival is there for the taking. We will have days when we struggle with our decision to live. We will want to throw in the towel. We will want to give in or give up. But we've learned from one another about choices. And the choice to survive, knowing we never have to do it alone, gets easier with time. I am one of the survivors. Today is my day for celebration. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Needing People We can find the balance between needing people too much and not letting ourselves need anyone at all. Many of us have unmet dependency needs lingering from the past. While we want others to fulfill our desire to be loved unconditionally, we may have chosen people who cannot, or will not, be there for us. Some of us are so needy from not being loved that we drive people away by needing them too much. Some of us go to the other extreme. We may have become used to people not being there for us, so we push them away. We fight off our feelings of neediness by becoming overly independent, not allowing ourselves to need anyone. Some of us won't let people be there for us. Either way, we are living out unfinished business. We deserve better. When we change, our circumstances will change. If we are too needy, we respond to that by accepting the needy part of us. We let ourselves heal from the pain of past needs going unmet. We stop telling ourselves we're unlovable because we haven't been loved the way we wanted and needed. If we have shut off the part of us that needs people, we become willing to open up, be vulnerable, and let ourselves be loved. We let ourselves have needs. We will get the love we need and desire when we begin to believe we're lovable, and when we allow that to happen. Today, I will strive for the balance between being too needy and not allowing myself to need people. I will let myself receive the law that is there for me. As I stop today and take the time to be still, I become in touch with my Higher Power. I feel myself filling with love and with peace as I relax and let go of the stress in my day. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Open Your Heart As Often As You Need Opening our hearts is not something we do once or twice. It is a way of life. How quickly life does things that make us want to close off, wall off, shut down, go away. But our commitment to staying open has little to do with what life does to us. It has to do with how we decide we want to live. Open. Loving. Safe. We’re safe because we know our ability and our willingness to love comes from within us. It is the ultimate form of learning to embrace our power. A long time ago when we were young, you may have told yourself it was risky to love, to trust, to feel. You told yourself that everyone you trusted would in the end betray your trust. Your belief has many times been proven true. But it’s time now to believe something else. It’s time to believe that the opposite is true. It’s time to believe that the opposite is true. It is risky to not love, not trust, not feel. Your security doesn’t come from trusting others. Your security comes from trusting and cherishing your own heart. Don’t let life shut you down. Open your heart as often as you need. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Find the adventure in your life He had quit his job eight weeks earlier, a prodigal son off to find his story in the world. He arrived back in town dirty, unshaven, tired, and smiling. He had $4.38 in his pocket, he said. Enough for a burger and fries, if someone would give him a ride– there wasn’t enough gas in his car to get him to the restaurant and back. We were just getting ready to go to dinner and one of the others asked if he wanted to come along. “My treat,” a friend said, “as long as you tell us some stories.” He did. And oh, what stories he told from his trip through the west– high mountains, deep canyons, altitude sickness, frigid nights. Story after story poured out as we listened over plates of tacos. “But what will you do now?” I asked later. “You only have four dollars to your name.” “It’s okay,” came the reply. “I’ll just go back to work for a while.” “And then?” “Take another trip. Next year I’m going to Europe to see what’s over there.” Take a chance. We don’t have to settle in and live in the first safe, comfortable box that we find. We can live in the moment, pull all that we can from it, then stretch our wings and fly someplace else. I’m not saying to quit your job and go off on a backpacking adventure, unless that’s what you want to do. I’m just saying you might want to follow your heart. Learn to cook. Learn to paint, share what you know by teaching a class. Find the adventure in your life, calculate the risk, then take it. God, put the adventure back in my life. If I’ve gotten too safe in my little world, help me take a risk. Help me learn to live big. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I can attain real dignity, importance and individuality only by a dependence on a Power which is great and good, beyond anything I can imagine or understand. I will try my utmost to use this Power in making all my decisions. Even though my human mind cannot forecast what the outcome will be, I will try to be confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good. Just For Today, will I try to live this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once? Today I Pray May I make no decision, engineer no change in the course of my life stream, without calling upon my Higher Power May I have faith that God’s plan for me is better than any scheme I could devise for myself. Today I Will Remember God is the architect. I am the builder. ***************************************** One More Day The ancient sage, who concocted the maxim, “Know Thyself” might have added, “Don’t tell anyone.!” – H. F. Heinriches All too often people hide from their own feelings and from the reality of chronic illness. We may reason that if we ignore it long enough it will go away. Of course, this does not happen, and slowly we gain the knowledge of what our illness is and how we can best live with the changes it creates. Perhaps we cannot change the course of a chronic illness or medical condition, but we can , and certainly should, change how we react. Bitterness only encourages the company of those who are also bitter. Acceptance, openness, and serenity will attract others who share our willingness to change and grow. Today, I will be open and honest with myself as I move back into the path of life with an illness at my side. ************************************ Food For Thought Enough Is a Feast The frantic search for more and more has characterized many of our lives. We believed that if only we had more money, more clothes, more sex, more food, and more things - we would be happy and satisfied. The more we consume, the more miserable we become. No amount of material things will satisfy our emotional and spiritual hunger. We learn to know our Higher Power, and we learn that He satisfies our need, not our greed. He feeds our hearts and our spirits with the abundance of His love, and when we are strengthened spiritually, physical control is possible. Our measured food plan fills our bodily needs. The measured amount is enough. We accept it and become comfortable with it. More than that, we learn the truth of the ancient Zen saying that "Enough is a feast." May I be content with enough instead of grasping for more. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ DECISIONS ~ We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing ... but even that is a decision. Gary Collins, PhD. Clinical psychologist and well-known author in the field of counseling I can't recall if I ever learned that I had choices. I think it's something a person learns as they grow up, but in my home, it was pretty much Mom's way or the highway, and she had us all so scared of the highway that even THAT wasn't much of a choice! Imagine my utter shock when I came into the Twelve Step rooms and heard I had choices! I was a married woman by that time, one who had gone along with what everyone else said about anything and everything, and the only choice I seemed to make was how much I'd binge that day, if I'd purge, or if I'd be anorexic. Even that choice wasn't in my hands, but in the hands of my disease. In these recovery rooms I slowly learned about making choices and the responsibility that went with them. It's been a freedom. It's also allowed me to feel like an adult. As a young child I was put in the position of doing things only adults should be doing. So on one hand, I knew I had done things way before "my time." Yet I still felt immature and naive. Learning to make my own choices and decisions has helped me to feel more mature and confident. One Day at a Time . . . I will not fear making difficult decisions. I will remember I can use the principles of the program to help me make the proper choice. ~ Rhonda ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. - Pg. 135 - The Family Afterwards Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Whatever is on our mind at this time is probably something we can do nothing about just now. We're fighting a fatal disease here and our recovery is our TOP PRIORITY. Other considerations will simply have to wait. Help me to prioritize my needs: clean time, sober time, recovery. I Am Aware Today, I see that my life is up to me. How I choose to live, what I will accomplish, how I conduct my intimate relationships, how I treat myself, all are in my own hands. They are gifts of awareness that I can give myself. I can process my most frustrating and difficult emotions and bring them into my conscious awareness so that I can put them into proportion. I can reframe and see things in a new and more helpful light. I can stop running from what clouds and confuses my inner being, what obscures my inner light. I am strong in the awareness that I can live as I choose to live. I am willing to walk a path of self discovery that, though difficult, builds a strength in me and a knowledge that I can survive my most difficult feelings. I do not need to be afraid of my life if I am not afraid of my inner world. I am comfortable in my own skin. I am free to be who I am. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Witness the miracle of recovery happening for others, and you come to believe that this miracle can happen for you as well. Look at the miracles around you, one month off drugs, three years, 20 years or more. You are surrounded by living miracles. I do not believe in miracles, I rely on them. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book It's Anonymo-us, not Anonymo-me. Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I stop today and take the time to be still, I become in touch with my Higher Power. I feel myself filling with love and with peace as I relax and let go of the stress in my day. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote Tolerance: The ability to put up with those you'd like to put down. - Anon. |
January 28
Daily Reflections THE TREASURE OF THE PAST Showing others who suffer how we were given help is the very thing which makes life seem so worth while to us now. Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have -- the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 124 What a gift it is for me to realize that all those seemingly useless years were not wasted. The most degrading and humiliating experiences turn out to be the most powerful tools in helping others to recover. In knowing the depths of shame and despair, I can reach out with a loving and compassionate hand, and know that the grace of God is available to me. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day What a load hangovers put on your shoulders! What terrible physical punishment we've all been through. The pounding headaches and jumpy nerves, the shakes and the jitters, the hot and cold sweats! When you come into A.A. and stop drinking, that terrible load of hangovers falls off your shoulders. What a load remorse puts on your shoulders! That terrible mental punishment we've all been through. Ashamed of the things you've said and done. Afraid to face people because of what they might think of you. Afraid of the consequences of what you did when you were drunk. What an awful beating the mind takes! When you come into A.A., that terrible load of remorse falls off your shoulders. Have I gotten rid of these loads of hangovers and remorse? Meditation For The Day When you seek to follow the way of the spirit, it frequently means a complete reversal of the way of the world that you had previously followed. But it is a reversal that leads to happiness and peace. Do the aims and ambitions that a person usually strives for bring peace? Do the world's awards bring heart rest and happiness? Or do they turn to ashes in the mouth? Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not be weary, disillusioned, or disappointed. I pray that I may not put my trust in the ways of the world, but in the way of the spirit. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Troublemakers Can Be Teachers, p. 28 Few of us are any longer afraid of what any newcomer can do to our A.A. reputation or effectiveness. Those who slip, those who panhandle. those who scandalize, those with mental twists, those who rebel at the program, those who trade on the A.A. reputation--all such persons seldom harm an A.A. group for long. Some of these have become our most respected and best loved. Some have remained to try our patience, sober nevertheless. Others have drifted away. We have begun to regard the troublesome ones not as menaces, but rather as our teachers. They oblige us to cultivate patience, tolerance, and humility. We finally see that they are only people sicker than the rest of us, that we who condemn them are Pharisees whose false righteousness does our group the deeper spiritual damage. Grapevine, August 1946 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Easy does it_____ Avoiding tension As people of excess, alcoholics tend to swing between periods of great activity and times of complete lassitude. There is a tendency to waste time at one point, and then overcompensate for it by working feverishly and frantically to catch up. Both ways are out of balance. We need to approach life in a relaxed manner, letting the natural rhythm of events take over and do some of the work for us. Too much effort defeats itself. The overanxious person strives too hard and makes things worse, like the salesman who talks too long and kills the sale. In the AA way of life, we expect and accept responsibilities. But we are not slavishly committed to success at any price. We make a full commitment to any project we undertake, and we do our best at all times. Then we let things unfold rather than trying to force them. It is also common to hear people say, "EASY DOES IT, BUT DO IT!" This is a reminder that t he slogan is not a prescription for laziness and indifference. It is also a reminder to avoid high-pressure tactics and excessive pushing. I'll let things work out today. I'll do whatever has to be done. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple We're part of the fellowship we call "the program." Let's also remember that we're part of a larger fellowship called " the human race." We all hurt the same. We all love the same. We all need understanding and care. Yet, in other ways, we are not all the same. Let's remember to understand differences among people. If not, we'll be afraid of anyone who's not like us. And this isn't God's way. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to love all people. Help me be open to others who are different from me. Help me love my neighbor. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards being a champion. --Billie Jean King Champions are made. How lucky we are to have the Steps to guide us to become champions. The program promises us self-awareness, but we have to put forth the effort. And the process isn't always easy. We have liabilities, all of us, and it's generally easier to see them than our assets. Self-awareness is recognizing both. To become a champion, whether as an athlete, a homemaker, a teacher, a secretary, or an attorney, is to maximize the assets and minimize the liabilities, but to accept the existence of both. The program that we share offers us daily opportunities to know ourselves, to help other women know themselves, and to strengthen our assets along the way. We can feel our assets growing, and it feels good. We can see our liabilities diminish, and it feels good. The program offers us a championship. I can strengthen my assets, first by knowing them, and then by emphasizing them repeatedly. I'll focus on one today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS The reader may still ask why he should believe in a Power greater than himself. We think there are good reasons. Let us have a look at some of them. The practical individual of today is a stickler for facts and results. Nevertheless, the twentieth century readily accepts theories of all kinds, provided they are firmly grounded in fact. We have numerous theories, for example, about electricity. Everybody believes them without a murmur of doubt. Why this ready acceptance? Simply because it is impossible to explain what we see, feel, direct, and use, without a reasonable assumption as a starting point. p. 48 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. In my first year in high school, mother suggested that I not join the cadet unit. She got a medical certificate so that I should not have to join. I don't know whether she was a pacifist or whether she just thought that in the event of another war it would have some bearing on my joining up. p. 233 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." But not so with alcoholics. When A.A. was quite young, a number of eminent psychologists and doctors made an exhaustive study of a good-sized group of so-called problem drinkers. The doctors weren't trying to find how different we were from one another; they sought to find whatever personality traits, if any, this group of alcoholics had in common. They finally came up with a conclusion that shocked the A.A. members of that time. These distinguished men had the nerve to say that most of the alcoholics under investigation were still childish, emotionally sensitive, and grandiose. pp. 122-123 ************************************************** ********* Listening feeds the spirit. The two most dangerous words in a recovering alcoholic's vocabulary are, "I'm different." Honesty gets us sober, tolerance keeps us sober. Newcomers are the lifeblood of the program. But our old-timers are the arteries. The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it. Trust God. Clean house. Help others. The peaks and valleys of my life have become gentle rolling hills. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation WISDOM "Education today, more than ever before, must see clearly the dual objectives: education for living and education for making a living." -- James Mason Wood The spiritual life is a productive life. Not only does it make for a prosperous life in every sense of the word but it makes for a creative lifestyle. Nothing is wasted on the spiritual man; he learns from his mistakes and doubts. For too long I was stunted in my spiritual growth by negative and destructive thinking. I became dependent upon a sick self and attracted equally sick people. I used my education and knowledge to keep people out and remained isolated. I needed to change. I wanted to change. But how? As with everything else in life I needed to imitate those who were successful. I needed to be shown how to live a different way. I needed to discover the power of my spirituality. I found successful people. They helped me. Today I am able to help myself. I pray for the knowledge to imitate those who are successful in life. ************************************************** ********* No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him. 1 Corinthians 2:9 Walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. Hebrews 11:6 Then God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness." Genesis 1:26 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration How precious are the little joys throughout the day. Lord, You have such love for me. I find You everywhere I look. Trials are part of life. How you respond to them determines the quality of your life. Lord, in Your justice, rescue and deliver me. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today An Every-Day Addict " We can never fully recover, no matter how long we stay clean." Basic Text p. 80 After getting a little time in the program, some of us begin to think we have been cured. We've learned everything NA has to teach us; we've grown bored with the meetings; and our sponsor keeps droning the same old refrain: " The steps-the steps-the steps!" We decide it is time to get on with our lives, cut way back on meetings, and try to make up for the years we have lost to active addiction. We do this, however, at the peril of our recovery. Those of us who have relapsed after such an episode often try to go to as many meetings as we can-some of us go to a meeting every day for several years. It may take that long for us to understand that we will always be addicts. We may feel well some days and sick on other days, but we are addicts every day. At any time, we are subject to delusion, denial, rationalization, justification, insanity-all the hallmarks of the typical addict's way of thinking. If we want to continue living and enjoying life without the use of drugs, we must practice an active program of recovery each day. Just for today: I am an addict every day, but today I have the choice to be a recovering addict. I will make that choice by practicing my program. pg. 28 ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. It is such a secret place, the land of tears. --Antoine de St. Exupery Where do tears come from? Perhaps each of us has a private well where the tears rise from. Each of us has our own landscape of events that have hurt us or given us joy. And so we have our own private responses to the world around us. Something may hurt one of us that would not hurt another. Like the oceans and rivers, sometimes our well of tears is flowing. We do not always understand all the forces affecting the oceans, or our well of tears. The kind of bucket that draws water from a well is solid and durable, and it lowers itself deep enough to find water. Good friends and family members are like that. It is comforting to share our private well with such people. Who will I invite to drink from my well today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. To perceive is to suffer. --Aristotle As men in this program, we have given up our compulsive escapes from life. Our escapes may have been through dependent relationships with others, or with money, sex, food, drugs, work, or emotional binges. But now we are learning to live without them, and this has brought us in touch with our feelings. We feel more joy and more pain in recovery. Often the first feelings in recovery are painful or frightening. We learn we can deal with life - all of it, a little at a time. We accept pain as part of life. Because of our escapes, our growing up was delayed. We didn't learn how to deal with our pain because we escaped into an anesthetic, a high, and a relief. Our spiritual recovery program brings us together with other men and women who have pledged to set aside these escapes. Among the many rewards is a reawakening to all of life. No longer will we filter out the suffering because that, too, is part of being aware. Today, I am thankful for all the life that I perceive and pray for the strength to meet the pain. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. I think self-awareness is probably the most important thing towards being a champion. --Billie Jean King Champions are made. How lucky we are to have the Steps to guide us to become champions. The program promises us self-awareness, but we have to put forth the effort. And the process isn't always easy. We have liabilities, all of us, and it's generally easier to see them than our assets. Self-awareness is recognizing both. To become a champion, whether as an athlete, a homemaker, a teacher, a secretary, or an attorney, is to maximize the assets and minimize the liabilities, but to accept the existence of both. The program that we share offers us daily opportunities to know ourselves, to help other women know themselves, and to strengthen our assets along the way. We can feel our assets growing, and it feels good. We can see our liabilities diminish, and it feels good. The program offers us a championship. I can strengthen my assets, first by knowing them, and then by emphasizing them repeatedly. I'll focus on one today. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Staying in the Present Moment Often, one of our biggest questions is "What's going to happen?" We may ask this about our relationships, our career, our recovery, and our life. It is easy to tangle us up in worrisome thoughts. Worrying about what's going to happen blocks us from functioning effectively today. It keeps us from doing our best now. It blocks us from learning and mastering today's lessons. Staying in the now, doing our best, and participating fully today are all we need to do to assure ourselves that what's going to happen tomorrow will be for the best. Worrying about what's going to happen is a negative contribution to our future. Living in the here and now is ultimately the best thing we can do, not only for today, but also for tomorrow. It helps our relationships, our career, our recovery, and our life. Things will work out, if we let them. If we must focus on the future other than to plan, all we need to do is affirm that it will be good. I pray for faith that my future will be good if I live today well, and in peace. I will remember that staying in the present is the best thing I can do for my future. I will focus on what's happening now instead of what's going to happen tomorrow. As I take the time to let my stress go today I will be filled with love and peace and joy. I will be aware of these feelings through my day and share them with others. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart What Interests You? It’s easy to talk ourselves out of trying something new, then sit at home whining that we’re bored. It’s just as easy, and a lot more fun, to find something interesting to do. Learn to make a basket out of pine needles. Try spelunking, or take a tap dancing class. Learn to fly an airplane or carve a walking stick. Take lessons on that musical instrument you’ve always wanted to play. You can learn to braid your hair, write a poem, or even act in a play. Have you talked yourself out of doing activities you used to like to do? Is there something new you’d like to learn or explore, something you’ve always thought you might like to do? Begin a journey of discovery. Find out what interests you. Don’t limit your interests to activities connected just to work or spiritual growth. Opening up to the world and all it has to offer expands your creativity. Discovering what your interests are, then letting yourself pursue them will become part of your spiritual path. There are many magical things in the world, and people happy to teach you how to do them. See all there is to do. Get out of your house and out of your rut and discover what interests you. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go There’s magic in our beliefs There’s a church in the town of Chimayo, New Mexico. Rumor has it that the soil surrounding the church has special healing properties. Long before the church existed, there was a spring gushing up from the ground nearby. The Tewa Indians of the area believed that this spring held special magical properites and thought that by drinking the water, their infirnities could be healed. The water eventually stopped bubbling up, leaving only a muddy pool, and still the pilgrims came seeking healing. Finally, even the mud dried and turned to dust, and still the Tewa came. They ate the dust or mixed it with water and drank it. And many times it healed them. Then the Spanish built a church in the area. When the stories of the magical healing dust persisted, the church decided to blend with the local beliefs instead of trying to eradicate superstition. Today, people still come to the Santuario de Chimayo to be blessed or to take a little dirt from El Pocito, the little well in a back room. They still believe that the dust will heal them. And many times it does. Is the dust magical? I don’t know. But there’s magic in what we believe. Our beliefs tell our future better than any crystal ball or or psychic can. As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he, one holy book says. Be mindful of your thoughts and beliefs. What you think and believe today, whether it’s I can’t or I can, is what you will manifest tomorrow. Do you have any beliefs right now that are holding you down or back? What are your I can’s and what are your I cant’s? Take a moment. Look into your heart. Examine what you believe to be true. Is there an area of your life that could be benefited by thinking and believing something else? If you’re going to use the power of your mind, use it to form a positive belief. Sometimes, the littlest bit of magic is all we need to change our lives. God, help me come to believe what is right and true about myself, life, and others. Show me, and help me understand, the power and magic of what I believe. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Now that I am in The Program, I am no longer enslaved by alcohol and other drugs. Free, free at last from the other drugs. Free, free at last from the morning-after tremors, the dry heaves, the three-day beard, the misplaced eyelashes. Free, free at last from working out the alibis and hopng they won’t unravel; free from blackouts; free from watching the clock so that I can somehow get that desperately-needed “first one.” Do I treasure my freedom from chemical enslavement? Today I Pray Praise God that I am free of chemicals. This is my first freedom, from which other freedoms will develop — freedom to appraise my behavior sanely and constructively, freedom to grow as a person, freedom to maintain relationships with others on a sound basis. I will never cease to thank my Higher Power for leading me away from my enslavement. Today I Will Remember Praise God for my freedom. ***************************************** One More Day Love received and love given comprise the best form of therapy. – Gordon W. Allport Many of us with health problems are — by choice or by necessity — alone, and we may sometimes feel uneasy in a world geared for couples and families. Everywhere there seems to be yet another couple — on a park bench, strolling on the sidewalk, and on television. This is especially painful if we had, at one time in our lives, a happy, long-term relationship. Now we are finding a more complete and less restrictive sense of companionship and still maintaining our independence. Romantic love is not the only basis for trust and friendship. A Friend we can trust may also become a confidante, a strong emotional supporter, and an all-around booster. We may be alone, but we realize that we need not be lonely. I am lucky to have one close friend. I am blessed when I have several. I am no longer alone. ************************************ Food For Thought Blessed Are the Hungry When we are sated and overly full of food, there is no room left for the spirit. We feel like taking a nap, rather than working productively or playing enjoyably. During our overeating careers, how many hours have we wasted in bed, sleeping off the effects of a binge? To eat no more than is necessary is to maintain our minds and bodies in a state of alertness and readiness for action. To say no to the sugars and starches which throw our blood sugar out of balance is to keep our energy level on an even keel. As we lose excess weight and get rid of debilitating fat, we will probably experience some periods of hunger. There is nothing wrong with being hungry. Often it is when we are hungry that we are most humble and ready to listen to our Higher Power. To accept physical hunger with serenity is to be spiritually strong. I pray that my hunger may bring me closer to You, Lord. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ SUCCESS ~ Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill (1874 – 1965) a highly decorated British politician who served as Prime Minister of the U.K. My life before program consisted of one failure after the next. I could never master success with my eating, much less with my life in general. Once I came into these rooms and started working the Twelve Steps, with a God of my understanding and the knowledge that God is in control of all in my life, I began to realize that life is NOT a series of failures, only slow successes. One Day at a Time . . . I am a success if I keep on trying regardless of the outcome, because it is truly God's will for me. ~ Linda K. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance. Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contray effect. - Pg. 125 - The Family Afterwards Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The most important thing to know about Step Three, turning our will over to a Higher Power, is that all we can do is DECIDE to do it. There is no 'will' we can wrap and send. Once we make the decision to do this, our Higher Power will work for us through the rest of the Steps. I decide to align my will with that of the Source of my Spirit. A Birthday Wish Today I will make a wish. I will make a wish and trust that it will find wings. I will see it flying through the air, blown from a loving hand toward eternity. Birthdays are for wishing; wishing with a child's excitement, with an innocent faith that what I wish for can come forth. I will see my wish as already fulfilled, I will experience it as if it is happening right now, as if it is real. I am making my wish right NOW. My wishes have wings. - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote Many meetings, many chances; few meetings, few chances; no meetings, no chances. The trouble with staying home and isolating is I get a lot of bad advice. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book Making amends is a good way to have the last word! Time for Joy - Book - Quote As I take the time to let my stress go today I will be filled with love and peace and joy. I will be aware of these feelings throughout my day and share them with others. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I get drunk - we stay sober. - Cubby S. |
January 29
Daily Reflections THE JOY OF SHARING Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you. to have a host of friends - this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 89 To know that each newcomer with whom I share has the opportunity to experience the relief that I have found in this Fellowship fills me with joy and gratitude. I feel that all the things described in A.A. will come to pass for them, as they have for me, if they seize the opportunity and embrace the program fully. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day What a load wasting money puts on your shoulders! They say that members of A.A. have paid the highest initiation fee of any club members in the world, because we've wasted so much money on liquor. We'll never be able to figure out how much it was. We not only waste our own money, but also the money we should have spent on our families. When you come into A.A., that terrible load of wasted money falls off your shoulders. We alcoholics were getting round-shouldered from carrying all those loads that drinking put on our shoulders. But when we come into A.A., we get a wonderful feeling of release and freedom. Can I throw back my shoulders and look the whole world in the face again? Meditation For The Day I believe that the future is in the hands of God. He knows better than I what the future holds for me. I am not at the mercy of fate or buffeted about by life. I am being led in a very definite way, as I try to rebuild my life. I am the builder, but God is the architect. It is mine to build as best I can, under His guidance. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may depend on God, since He has planned my life. I pray that I may live my life as I believe God wants me to live it.< /span> ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Alone No More, p.252 Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us. But when our self-will had driven everybody away and our isolation became complete, we commenced to play the big shot in cheap barrooms. Failing even in this, we had to fare forth alone on the street to depend upon the charity of passers-by. We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by being dependent upon others. Even when our fortunes had not totally ebbed, we nevertheless found ourselves alone in the world. We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence. For those of us who were like that, A.A. has a very special meaning. In this Fellowship we begin to learn right relations with people who understand us; we don't have to be alone any more. 12 & 12, pp. 116-117 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places Willingness is the Key___Strong Desire. Although willpower alone does not work in overcoming alcoholism, there is a place for the will, or willingness, in the search for a happy sobriety. Things can happen if we are willing to let them happen. More important, progress often depends on our willingness to give up what stands in our way. It also requires our willingness to take that actions necessary for success. This same willingness, so vital to finding sobriety, is also applicable in other areas of our lives. The pioneers of AA suggested that getting sober required being willing to go to any lengths. This is the key to other achievements and to the overcoming of problems besides alcohol. We often have to put up with unpleasant conditions simply because we do not want to change them badly enough. For example, we may dislike the unpleasant coughing and risks of smoking, but lack the willingness to quit. We may brood over lost opportunities, but be unwilling to take advantage of the opportunities we have now. The key to constructive change in our lives is willingness… and that applies to other matters as well as to alcohol. I'll try to be honest today about what I really want. I will remind myself that if I want something badly enough, willingness is they key to action and to success ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple An alcoholic spends his life committing suicide on the installment plan.--Laurence Peter None of us woke up one morning and found we had suddenly turned into an addict. We got to be one by practice. And we practiced often. We ignored our families--we left work early--and went drinking and drugging. Daily, we chose chemicals over anything else. Likewise, getting sober is no accident. We work the program. At meetings, we're reminded to help others. We all get sober on the installment plan. A day at a time. We got sick one day at a time; we recover one day at a time. Prayer for the Day: Today, with my Higher Power's help, I'll be happier, more honest, more sober. Sobriety is like a good savings account. Higher Power, help me to put in more than I take out. Action for the Day: I'll go over my Step One to remind myself it's no accident I'm an addict. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning "I can't help it" . . . that's what we all say when we don't want to exert ourselves. --Eva Lathbury Irresponsible behavior is not unfamiliar to us. Passivity is equally familiar. In the past, excusing ourselves of all responsibility prevented us from being blamed. We have learned that it also prevented us from feeling worthy, from fulfilling our potential, from feeling the excitement that comes with achievement. Our fear of failure helped us to be irresponsible. We may still fear failure, but the program offers us an antidote. We can't fail if we have turned our lives over to our higher power. We will be shown the way to proceed. Our fellow travelers have messages for us that will smooth our path. I have chosen recovery. I have already said, "I can help it." I will celebrate that I am taking responsibility for my life today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Everybody nowadays, believes in scores of assumptions for which there is good evidence, but no perfect visual proof. And does not science demonstrate that visual proof is the weakest proof? It is being constantly revealed, as mankind studies the material world, that outward appearances are not inward reality at all. To illustrate: The prosaic steel girder is a mass of electrons whirling around each other at incredible speed. These tiny bodies are governed by precise laws, and these laws hold true throughout the material world, Science tells us so. We have no reason to doubt it. When, however, the perfectly logical assumption is suggested that underneath the material world and life as we see it, there is an All Powerful, Guiding, Creative Intelligence, right there our perverse streak comes to the surface and we laboriously set out to convince ourselves it isn’t so. We read wordy books and indulge in windy arguments, thinking we believe this universe needs no God to explain it. Were our contentions true, it would follow that life originated out of nothing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere. pp. 48-49 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. About then I realized that my point of view on the opposite sex wasn't entirely like that of most of the boys I knew. For that reason, I believe, I married at a much younger age than I would have, had it not been for my home training. My wife and I have been married for some thirty years now. Vi was the first girl that I ever took out. I had quite a heartache about her then because she wasn't the type of girl that my mother wanted me to marry. In the first place, she had been married before; I was her second husband. My mother resented it so much that the first Christmas after our marriage, she didn't even invite us to dinner. After our first child came, my parents both become allies. Then, in later days, after I became an alcoholic, they both turned against me. pp. 233-234 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings." How we alcoholics did resent that verdict! We would not believe that our adult dreams were often truly childish. And considering the rough deal life had given us, we felt it perfectly natural that we were sensitive. As to our grandiose behavior, we insisted that we had been possessed of nothing but a high and legitimate ambition to win the battle of life. p. 123 ************************************************** ********* The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us. "Let us open our natures, throw wide the doors of our hearts and let in the sunshine of good will and kindness." --O. S. Marden Prayer of St. Theresa May today there be peace within May you trust your highest power that you are exactly where you are meant to be.... May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.... May you be content knowing you are a child of God.... Let this presence settle into our bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance and to bask in the sun…. It is there for each and everyone of you…. --St. Teresa When you love someone, don't let a single thing become bigger than that love. It can destroy you both. Ask yourself, "Will this matter in 20 years?" The gift of Forgiveness is a gift you have given to yourself. The peaks and valleys of my life have become gentle rolling hills. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation SUCCESS "Success is a journey not a destination." -- Ben Sweetland So long as I am sober I know that I am successful. But I also know that my sobriety is more than keeping away from the first drink. My sobriety requires that I be a creative and successful human being in all areas of my life --- in my relationships, at work, with my family, my business ventures and in my acts of charity. The road to success is exactly that --it is a "road" that I am traveling along, and I will be on it until the day I die. I suppose the danger is in thinking that I have arrived. Then I get complacent and apathetic, I slow down and the energy for recovery is diminished. Today I know that I am successful so long as I keep moving along with my spiritual program. Let me always be confident as I walk in my journey of life. ************************************************** ********* "The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul; the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple; the precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes." Psalm 19:7-8 "Now may the Lord of peace Himself give you peace always in every way. The Lord be with you all." 2 Thessalonians 3:16 Guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long. Psalm 25:5 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Call on God when you need a friend to make it through the day. Lord, may we share Your love and beauty so that our lives may not be lonely. Holding on to hurts causes us to live the pain over and over. Lord, may I forgive so that I may heal. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today The First Step - An Action Step " Do we understand that we have no real control over drugs?" Basic Text p. 18 At first, many of us may have thought the First Step required no action-we just surrender and go on to Step Two. But Step One does require action! The action we take in the First Step will be evident in the way we live, even from our first day clean. If we truly believe that we are powerless over our addiction, we will not choose to be around drugs. To continue to live with or associate with practicing addicts may indicate a reservation in our program. An absolute belief that the First Step applies to us will insure that we clear our homes of all drugs and paraphernalia. As time goes on, we'll not only continue with the basics but add new actions to our First Step repertoire. We'll learn to feel our feelings rather than trying to control them. We'll stop trying to be our own and only guides on our recovery journey; self-sponsorship will cease. We'll begin looking to a Power greater than ourselves more and more for spiritual satisfaction rather than trying to fill that void with something else. Surrender is only the beginning. Once we surrender, we need to learn how to live in the peace we have found. Just for today: I will take all the action necessary to practice the First Step. I truly believe it applies to me. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Think in terms of depletion, not depression . . .. You can understand how a body can replenish itself, whereas it may be difficult to understand the way out of depression. --Claire Weekes Despair and depression may come over us suddenly, for no reason we can figure out. But if we stop and reflect, we may realize we are reacting to too much of something--too much work, too much excitement, too much fun. We may be having a letdown after holidays, after completing a project, or at the end of a school year. When we feel a letdown coming on, we must give ourselves time. We need to take some time off and do nothing, plan nothing. Then we can ask God to help us let go of the negative feelings that come along with a letdown. We can plan a small gift for ourselves--a walk by the lake, for instance. In our excitement with a rush of events, we often forget that we, like the infants we once were, need to take a rest and reenergize. Do I need to do something just for myself today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. We grow in time to trust the future for our answers. --Ruth Benedict When we first started in recovery, we approached it as we did our codependent and addictive behaviors, wanting to possess it all - quickly and totally - and to do it right. Some of us thought we could learn all we needed to know about recovery in a few weeks. In living with this program, we begin to see we are engaged in a lifelong process. We are in a maturing process and this program is our guide. We can't rush it or move on to the next stage too soon. An apple tree does not blossom in the fall, and we do not expect the newly forming apples to ripen before they've grown. Our existence in this world is like walking through the woods on a rambling path. We can only see as far ahead as the next bend. We no longer seek some big moment when we finally get the outcome or a "cure" for life's experiences. The experience along the way is all we need. Today, I will think about (he tasks and rewards of this day and trust the future for what is unanswered. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. "I can't help it" . . . that's what we all say when we don't want to exert ourselves. --Eva Lathbury Irresponsible behavior is not unfamiliar to us. Passivity is equally familiar. In the past, excusing ourselves of all responsibility prevented us from being blamed. We have learned that it also prevented us from feeling worthy, from fulfilling our potential, from feeling the excitement that comes with achievement. Our fear of failure helped us to be irresponsible. We may still fear failure, but the program offers us an antidote. We can't fail if we have turned our lives over to our higher power. We will be shown the way to proceed. Our fellow travelers have messages for us that will smooth our path. I have chosen recovery. I have already said, "I can help it." I will celebrate that I am taking responsibility for my life today. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Going to Meetings I am still amazed, after years of recovering, at how easily I can begin to talk myself out of attending meetings. I am also still amazed at how good I feel when I go. --Anonymous We don't have to stay stuck in our misery and discomfort. An immediate option is available that will help us feel better: go to a meeting, a Twelve Step support group. Why resist what can help us feel better? Why sit in our obsession or depression when attending a meeting - even if that means an extra meeting - would help us feel better? Too busy? There are 168 hours in each week. Taking 1 or 2 hours a week for a meeting can maximize the potential of the remaining 166 hours. If we get into our "codependent stuff," we can easily spend a majority of our waking hours obsessing, sitting and doing nothing, lying in bed and feeling depressed, or chasing after other people's needs. Not taking those 2 hours for a meeting can cause us to waste the remaining hours. Too tired? There is nothing as invigorating as getting back on track. Going to a meeting can accomplish that. Today, I will remember that going to meetings helps. Today I will treat myself to quiet time. Today I will be gentle with myself as I let myself do nothing but be who I am. Today I will value what I think. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Seek Peace I drove down the winding road into King’s Canyon, California, not knowing what to expect. The road took me past lavender hills and ended alongside a rushing river spilling over with whitewater froth. “Beware of Turbulent Waters,” the sign warned. I parked the car and stepped outside, taking in the scenery. Soon, I knew– I felt– where this road had led. It led to peace. Cultivate peace. Commit to peace. Insist on it. Don’t setlle for peace based on outward circumstances or a particular arrangement in your life. Drive down the winding road and find the peace that prevails amidst the mountains, now purple in the setting sun. Find the peace that prevails even when the turbulent waters of the river roar through your life. This is the peace the universe offers. Settle for nothing less. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Protect yourself from negative influences After a long rainstorm in the desert, I watched little drops of runoff splashing off of a rock face into little indentations in the rock. Each drop fell in exactly the same place as the drop before, and over the years, the procession had dug a tiny hole into the stone. I looked around at the other rocks in the area and saw that they,too, were pockmarked by the slow but steady effects of erosion over the years. Poor relationships can be like that rain. We start out on a course of learning and self-improvement with the best of intentions, but little by little our efforts are undermined by the associations that we choose. We do have an advantage over those rocks though. We can move. Maybe you have allowed your efforts to be sabotaged by wrong friends, wrong thoughts, or negative input of some sort and kind. You have a choice. You can choose to stand in the rain of negativity and slowly be worn down by it, or you can find shelter, a support group of like-minded people, a good book or program, a minister or mentor, a helpful and positive friend. Be aware of the negative rain in your life. If even a stone can be worn down over time by constant falling rain, how much more must we be aware of the influences in our lives. Seek out that which is edifying, and find shelter from that which can erode your resolve. God, protect me from negative influences, which erode my beliefs. Help me protect myself. Surround me with that which is positive, edifying, and uplifting. ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day I used to imagine my life as a grotesque abstract painting; a montage of crises framed by end-upon-end catastrophes. My days all were grey and my thoughts greyer still. I was haunted by dread and nameless fears. I was filled with self-loathing. I had no idea who I was, what I was, or why I was. I miss none of those feelings. Today, step by step, I am discovering myself and learning that I can be free to be me. Am I grateful for my new life? Have I taken the time to thank God today for the fact that I am clean and sober — and alive? Today I Pray May calm come to me after the turmoil and nightmares of the past. As my fears and self-hatred dissipate, may the things of the spirit replace them. For in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. May I be filled with the spirit of my Higher Power. Today I Will Remember Morning scatters nightmares. ***************************************** One More Day There is one thing a man cannot change — his parents. – David Ben-Gurion Sometimes we carry anger for too long and may blame others for our problems. It’s time to let go if we have been harboring anger toward our parents or other adults. In our memory, in our perception, they may have harmed us. Regardless of what happened, whether it was imagined or real, we need to let go. Unknowingly, we may have developed an attachment to this anger toward our parents, and it may take a professional therapist or a support group to help us break the dependency. We can take responsibility for ourselves and our own behaviors. By no longer blaming our inappropriate actions on anyone else, we can free ourselves of one unhealthy aspect of our lives. I am attempting to own my life and not see it as an extension of others. Today, I can take responsibility for myself and my actions. ************************************ Food For Thought Love Has No Calories Moving through the Twelve Steps develops new ability to love. When pride and guilt are reduced, we can relate more genuinely to those we care about. OA gives us tools, which we may use to escape the prison of self. Our false defenses begin to crumble. As we learn to accept and love ourselves by the grace of God, we can reach out to others and give to them. Overeating destroys us; loving makes us strong. Growing in the program, we love more and give more. In return, we are given new joy and satisfaction. Loving more may begin with the simple act of writing down the phone number of a fellow OA member and calling sometime during the week. It may mean taking five minutes to fully concentrate on what a child or a friend is trying to say. Food is no substitute for interpersonal relationships. We need to nurture the ones we have and build new ones as we become less dependent on eating and more committed to loving. Teach me Your love, dear God. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ GRATITUDE ~ Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts. David O. McKay All the good I have ever been given in life, both before recovery and in recovery, has come from God. Even the ability to learn lessons from the bad has been one of His many gifts to me. I make gratitude lists and offer prayers of thanksgiving, but that is only the beginning. I only express true gratitude by sharing with others. I share it as experience, strength and hope at meetings. I share it by reaching out my hand to the compulsive overeater behind me and sponsoring them or befriending them. I share it by living a life that shows evidence of the realization of all that God has given me. I can only truly express my gratitude through action. One day at a time... I will show my true gratitude by giving away to others what God has so freely given to me. ~ Vicki B. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We alcoholics are sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap. - Pg. 125 - The Family Afterwards Hour To Hour - Book - Quote Sometimes reality slaps us right in the face. We may be out of money, facing jail, losing a loved one, or hating our circumstances. However, right this hour we have only one true reality: SOBRIETY. Without sobriety all the above only gets worse! I make contact with Divine Intelligence so that I am not preoccupied with things outside my control. I want to remember why I am here. Learning from Life There are no 'buts' today. I am what I am, others are what they are, life is what it is. I will not parenthesize my growth with a 'but,' or hold back my forward-moving spirit with second-guesses. For today, I am living with things as they are. As I give this gift to myself I feel relieved. I am exactly where I am meant to be, learning what I need to learn. All I need do is move through situations with willingness to learn and openness to feel. When feelings are brought up, I can accept them as what is happening within me-no need to resist and analyze them. I can witness, allow, observe, share and process rather than shut down and hide. I can tolerate the intensity of my own inner world. I trust that my life is unfolding in such a way that what I need to learn will be before me. I am willing to learn. I see the 'table prepared.' - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote If something is right, it can be done. If it is wrong, it can be done without. I can do that! "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you think handling everything is too much, try letting go. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I will treat myself to quiet time. Today I will be gentle with myself as I let myself do nothing but be who I am. Today I will value what I think. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I got sober and I didn't know if I was Arthur or Martha sexually. Then a guy got up and said that when he came in he didn't know whether he liked men, women, or sheep. So I sort of thought I was doing all right - because sheep weren't on the agenda. - John. |
January 30
Daily Reflections FREEDOM FROM . . . FREEDOM TO We are going to know a new freedom. . . . ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS , p. 83 Freedom for me is both freedom from and freedom to. The first freedom I enjoy is freedom from the slavery of alcohol. What a relief! Then I begin to experience freedom from fear - fear of people, of economic insecurity, of commitment, of failure, of rejection. Then I begin to enjoy freedom to - freedom to choose sobriety for today, freedom to be myself, freedom to express my opinion, to experience peace of mind, to love and be loved, and freedom to grow spiritually. But how can I achieve these freedoms? The Big Book clearly says that before I am halfway through making amends, I will begin to know a "new" freedom; not the old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfillment of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free! ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day A drinking life isn't a happy life. Drinking cuts you off from other people and from God. One of the worst things about drinking is the loneliness. And one of the best things about A.A. is the fellowship. Drinking cuts you off from other people, at least from the people who really matter to you, your wife and children, your family and real friends. No matter how much you love them, you build up a wall between you and them by your drinking. You're cut off from any real companionship with them. As a result, you're terribly lonely. Have I got rid of my loneliness? Meditation For The Day I will sometimes go into a quiet place of retreat with God. In that place, I will find restoration and healing and power. I will plan quiet times now and then, times when I will commune with God and arise rested and refreshed to carry on the work which God has given me to do. I know that God will never give me a load greater than I can bear. It is in serenity and peace that all true success lies. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may strengthen my inner life, so that I may find serenity. I pray that my soul may be restored in quietness and peace. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It Getting Off a "Dry Bender", p. 30 "Sometimes, we become depressed. I ought to know; I have been a champion dry-bender case myself. While the surface causes were a part of the picture--trigger-events that precipitated depression--the underlying causes, I am satisfied, ran much deeper. "Intellectually, I could accept my situation. Emotionally, I could not. "To these problems, there are certainly no pat answers. But part of the answer surely lies in the constant effort to practice all of A.A.'s Twelve Steps." Letter, 1954 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places No Justified Resentments____Personal Inventory One of the greatest hurdles in sobriety is the so-called justified resentment. We feel that we have a right to be angry at somebody who has hurt or offended us. This feeling might be correct if our anger could remedy the matter and bring it to a just conclusion, but this hardly ever happens. If we are angry, we usually want revenge more than we want justice. Uncontrolled anger will make us behave as unjustly as those who harmed us did. This means more trouble. Whether revenge is sought or not, anger also poisons our own lives. Emmet Fox compared it to the insane practice of drinking prussic acid. People cannot take a drink of acid and then assign it to the person they detest. They will bear its effect in their own bodies. In the same way, our anger produces its own acids, which destroy our peace of mind and make us ineffective. We can deal with "justified resentment" by reminding ourselves that there's no justification for the pain and sickness a festering resentment will cause in our lives. There is no justified resentment. Today I may have to swim against the tide by not getting upset over matters that enrage others. I will not let myself be drawn into the angry currents around me. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Go and wake up your luck---Perian proverb We've been given recovery. For this, we're lucky. And we're grateful. Now it's up to us. We must accept our choices. When we're afraid, do we choose to be alone? Or do we choose to go to extra meeting? When we're not honest, do we keep it secret? Or do we admit it and try to be more honest? No matter what we choose, we're responsible for that choice. Through choices, we either make our program strong or weak. We can choose to be lucky. Or we can choose not to be. The choice is ours. Our addiction robbed us of choice. It taught us to blame others. Now we see ourselves as responsible. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to choose wisely. Help me remember I'm responsible for my choices. Action for the Day: Today I'll work at being responsible for my choices. I'll see myself as one of the lucky ones. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning Fortunately [psycho]analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. --Karen Horney The passage of time, coupled with an openness to the messages gleaned from our conversations with others, can provide answers we need for the way out of painful situations. Life is ebb and flow, peaks and valleys, struggles and sweet times. What we fail to realize, all too often, is that the struggles make possible the times that are sweet. Our conflicts are our special lessons in life. We can learn to flow with them, move through them, trust their value to us as growing, changing women. How good it feels to have found security with one another and that power greater than ourselves who can, when we are willing, show us the path to resolution. Life will never be free of conflict--nor should it be. Our lessons move us to higher planes of awareness. We can experience the joy hidden within the conflict. We can help one another remember that the sweetness of a moment is tied to the pain of a former, forgotten moment. All events, all experiences, are connected. The path I travel, alone and with others, is bringing me brighter days. I will trust my path. It's right for me. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition WE AGNOSTICS Instead of regarding ourselves as intelligent agents, spearheads of God’s ever advancing Creation, we agnostics and atheists chose to believe that our human intelligence was the last word, the alpha and the omega, the beginning and end of all. Rather vain of us, wasn’t it? We, who have traveled this dubious path, beg you to lay aside prejudice, even against organized religion. We have learned that whatever the human frailties of various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose and direction to millions. People of faith have a logical idea of what life is all about. Actually, we used to have no reasonable conception whatever. We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when we might have observed that many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability, happiness and usefulness which we should have sought ourselves. p. 49 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories Jim's Story This physician, one of the earliest members of A.A.'s first black group, tells of how freedom came as he worked among his people. My father had come out of the South and had suffered a great deal down there. He wanted tog ive me the very best, and he thought that nothing but being a doctor would suffice. On the other hand, I believe that I've always been medically inclined, though I have never been able to see medicine quite as the average person sees it. I do surgery because that's something that you can see; it's more tangible. But I can remember in postgraduate days, and during internship, that very often I'd go to a patient's bed and start a process of elmination and then, very often, I'd wind up guessing. That wasn't the way it was with my father. I think with him it possibly was a gift---intuitive diagnosis. Father, through the years, had built up a very good mail-order business because, at that time, there wasn't too much money in medicine. p. 234 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs." In the years since, however, most of us have come to agree with those doctors. We have had a much keener look at ourselves and those about us. We have seen that we were prodded by unreasonable fears or anxieties into making a life business of winning fame, money, and what we thought was leadership. So false pride became the reverse side of that ruinous coin marked "Fear." We simply had to be number one people to cover up our deep-lying inferiorities. In fitful successes we boasted of greater feats to be done; in defeat we were bitter. If we didn't have much of any worldly success we became depressed and cowed. Then people said we were of the "inferior" type. But now we see ourselves as chips off the same old block. At heart we had all been abnormally fearful. It mattered little whether we had sat on the shore of life drinking ourselves into forgetfulness or had plunged in recklessly and willfully beyond our depth and ability. The result was the same--all of us had nearly perished in a sea of alcohol. pp. 123-124 ************************************************** ********* That light at the end of the tunnel may be you. What other people think of you is none of your business! Bricks and mortar make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. --Irish Proverb "If I can just love you because here we are, then you are free to grow as you need to grow, because none of it's going to change my feeling of love." --Ram Dass God beats in my heart. I share his light with the world. --Shelley "What we must realize is that we cannot see everything. We do not know everything. More important, we must understand that it is impossible for us to control anything. The process of life is a spiritual one, governed by invisible, intangible spiritual laws and principles." --Iyanla Vanzant ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation POTENTIAL "Treat people as if they were what they ought to be, and you help them to become what they are capable of being." -- Johann W. von Goethe My program of recovery from alcoholism helps me have a relationship with myself and helps me relate to and understand others. The more I understand my strengths and weaknesses, the more I am able to understand others. Any understanding of spirituality involves other people. If spirituality helps me become what God intends for me, then this is also true for others. Today I choose to treat myself and other people as children of God, remembering that we were created to reach for the skies! Lord, our potential forever rests in You. ************************************************** ********* Encourage one another, and build up one another, just as you also are doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. 2 Timothy 2:22-24 But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. "He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food. Job 36:15-16 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." 1 Peter 3:8-12 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Slow down and see the gracious blessings that God has for you. In my quient moments, Lord, I know that You are there. When we have to justify our actions, it may be that our actions are not just. Lord, Your will is goodness. May I always have the strength and courage to choose Your way so that I can simplify my life and enjoy the peace of Your presence. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Giving It Away " We must give freely and gratefully that which has been freely and gratefully given to us." Basic Text p. 47 In recovery, we receive many gifts. Perhaps one of the greatest of these gifts is the spiritual awakening that begins when we stop using, growing stronger each day we apply the steps in our lives. The new spark of life within is a direct result of our new relationship with a Higher Power, a relationship initiated and developed by living the Twelve Steps. Slowly, as we pursue our program, the radiance of recovery dispels the darkness of our disease. One of the ways we express our gratitude for the gifts of recovery is to help others find what we've found. We can do this in any number of ways: by sharing in meetings, making Twelfth Step calls, accepting a commitment to sponsorship, or volunteering for H&I or phoneline duty. The spiritual life given to us in recovery asks for expression, for " we can only keep what we have by giving it away." Just for today: The gift of recovery grows when I share it. I will find someone with whom to share it. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. Everyone has his own fingerprints. The white light streams down to be broken up by those human prisms into all the colors of the rainbow. Take your own color in the pattern and be just that. --Charles R. Brown We are often amazed at how different members of the same family seem to be. Contrasts are often great: one child might be loud and funny, one might be timid and quiet, and yet neither seems to take after the parents. A family is like a vegetable garden. The vegetables respond to outside influences. The one exposed to more sunlight will grow differently than the one growing in a damp, shady place. Vegetables growing in crowded areas of the garden may not be as developed as those around them, but they might be tastier. Although we may have common roots, outside experiences and friends mold us too, making each of us unique. We sometimes lose ourselves by comparisons and feel as if we don't belong, but the variety of our family garden is what makes the world so interesting. How can I honor another person's uniqueness today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. Man can live his truth, his deepest truth, but cannot speak it. --Archibald. MacLeish For many men, being addicts meant living double lives. There were public selves whom others knew, and private selves whom no one met. It was a compulsive world, and both sides were false. Many of us grew up in addicted families and learned this double life early by hiding from outsiders what life was really like at home. In this program we learn to live our truth before we can speak it. It is more in our actions than in what we say. We may never know the words for this truth because we do not consciously invent it. It comes to us quietly over time and slowly merges all our parts. Gradually we begin to feel whole again as we surrender our double lives for single, truthful ones. Let me have the trust to give myself to the work of recovery and follow it where it takes me. You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning. Fortunately [psycho]analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist. --Karen Horney The passage of time, coupled with an openness to the messages gleaned from our conversations with others, can provide answers we need for the way out of painful situations. Life is ebb and flow, peaks and valleys, struggles and sweet times. What we fail to realize, all too often, is that the struggles make possible the times that are sweet. Our conflicts are our special lessons in life. We can learn to flow with them, move through them, trust their value to us as growing, changing women. How good it feels to have found security with one another and that power greater than ourselves who can, when we are willing, show us the path to resolution. Life will never be free of conflict--nor should it be. Our lessons move us to higher planes of awareness. We can experience the joy hidden within the conflict. We can help one another remember that the sweetness of a moment is tied to the pain of a former, forgotten moment. All events, all experiences, are connected. The path I travel, alone and with others, is bringing me brighter days. I will trust my path. It's right for me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Religious Freedom ".. .a Power greater than ourselves...." "God as we understood Him." These words introduce spirituality in the Twelve Steps. They are the first two references to God, and they are worded that way for a reason. We each have the freedom to define, and understand, our Higher Power - God - as we choose. That means we do not bring our religious affiliation into our recovery groups. It means that we do not try to impose our religious beliefs, or our understanding of God, on anyone else. We do not use our groups or meetings as a soapbox to gain religious converts. We do not try to force the particulars of our religious beliefs on others. We give each person, the right to a personal understanding of a Higher Power and ourselves. Today, I will respect other people's understanding of God, as well as my own. I will not allow others' judgment of my beliefs to cause me anxiety and. distress. I will seek to grow spiritually in recovery, with or without the assistance of a particular religion or denomination. Today I give myself permission to take the quiet time I need to meditate and to improve my conscious contact with God. --Ruth Fishel ***************************************** Journey To The Heart Warm Up Sit in the sun and warm up. Sit in the sun. Soak up the love and warmth from the world around you. Take that warmth into your everyday life. Open your heart more to the people you see, the people you meet, the people you greet, and the people you love. Practice being warm, loving, and open. Do more than just think loving thoughts. Say it. Do more than just think of something nice you’d like to do for someone. Do it. Fear is cold. Sometimes, we become so afraid of life, people, ourselves– so afraid– that we become cold. Cold toward people, toward life, toward God. We may not be aware of how cold we have become. We may have been cold for so long, we just don’t see it. Being cold and afraid has become our everyday posture. It’s the way we interact with the world around us. Now it’s time to put warmth back in our lives. Don’t let your fears turn you cold. Sit in the sun and warm up. Then radiate that warmth to the people around you. Warm up to people. Warm up to life. Warm up to yourself. ***************************************** More Language Of Letting Go See the good in yourself,too “Let me see your hands,” she said, gently holding my right hand up close to hers. “Look,” she said. “We have the same hands.” My daughter was thrilled by the discovery that our fingers were the same size, curved the same way; even our wrists were the same shape. I was at her house visiting her, her child, and her husband that afternoon. We had snuck away for a few quiet moments together. Later that evening, when I returned home, she called me on the phone. “You seem so excited and interested in our hands,” I said. “I’ve always thought your hands were so beautiful. Then I started looking at my hands, and I though maybe they looked just like yours, but I wasn’t sure until we looked at them today. It’s just so cool,” she said, “that my hands look just like yours.” It’s so easy to see and notice what we like in other people. Sometimes, it’s not easy to see the attributes and beauty in ourselves. It’s good to see the beauty in others. But sometimes, take a moment and get excited when you notice what’s beautiful in yourself,too. We hear so much about people mirroring our negative qualities back to us. You know– what you don’t like in others is probably what you don’t like in yourself. And often that’s true. But people can also mirror our desires, our hopes, our attributes, and our strengths back to us. Chances are that what you see and admire in others is probably a mirror shining your good qualities back to you. God, help me see the beauty and the good in life. Help me be aware of what I like in others, so that I can better define what I aspire to become. Activity: Choose five people in your life whom you like and respect. Make a list of the qualities they have that you admire. Now, see how many of these qualities might correctly be used to describe yourself, as well. If you don’t believe you already possess these qualities, could you be selling yourself short? Or do these qualities describe who you aspire to be? If you define some new aspirations, transfer them to your goal list. See how easy it is to begin defining and clarifying our dreams? ***************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day Have I gained freedom simply because one day I was weak and the next day I became suddenly strong? Have I changed from the helpless and hopeless person I once seemed to be simply by resolving, “from now on, things will be different…”? Is the fact that I am more comfortable today than ever before the result of my own willpower? Can I take credit for pulling myself up by my own bootstraps? I know better, for I sought refuge in a Power greater than myself — a Power which is still beyond my ability to visualize. Do I consider the change in my life a miracle far beyond the workings of any human power? Today I Pray As the days of sobriety lengthen, and the moment of decision becomes farther behind me, may I never lose sight of the Power that changed my life. May I remember that my sobriety is an ongoing miracle, not just a once-in-a-lifetime transformation. Today I Will Remember Life is an ongoing miracle. ***************************************** One More Day If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone. – Maxwell Maltz Sometimes, we frantically adopt other people’s problems to avoid confronting our own. Hiding from ourselves and our problems solved nothing. Yet some of us are so frightened by the challenge life has thrown before us that we are reluctant to confront it head-on. Most important is being able to face ourselves, especially when we are alone. We can’t always hide in the hustle and bustle of a crowd. But we can find a comfort level within ourselves, regardless of what we face. Then, when our spirituality is deepened and we understand our own struggles — and only then — can we assist, support, and share with others. My awareness of myself has been enhanced by my new life circumstances. The deeper I did, the more soul I find. The more and I find, the more I can share myself. ************************************ Food For Thought Eat Less, Enjoy More Before we joined OA, we were eating more and enjoying it less. The more we ate, the more fat we had to lug around, and the harder it was to do anything, much less enjoy doing it. Feeling stuffed and guilty, we often did not even enjoy what it was that we were eating. When our bodies are not overloaded with too much food and fat, we have energy for new activities. Our minds are sharper when they are not drugged with refined carbohydrates. Our emotions are more serene and positive when we are not full of despair and self-hatred. Freed from the terrible compulsion to eat more and more, we have time and energy to spend learning a new sport, reading a story to a child, writing a poem. Whatever we choose to do, we enjoy it more when we are not overeating. When we abstain, we feel good about ourselves. When we feel good about ourselves, we feel good about life. May I understand that for me, less food means more enjoyment. ***************************************** One Day At A Time ~ NEW BEGINNINGS ~ ...To dry my eyes and laugh at a fall, and baffled, get up and start again... Robert Browning (1812– 1889) British poet and playwright When things didn't go my way, I would stamp my feet, lose my temper, and walk away. I was the world's greatest quitter! The Twelve Step program of recovery teaches me that when I trip over something, I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and start over at any time. I can turn whatever I stumble over into an opportunity for growing and learning. One Day at a Time . . . When confronted by roadblocks to my recovery, I can humble myself and ask my Higher Power, "What do YOU want for me to learn from this?" I can turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones and move on in my recovery journey. ~ Linda K. ~ ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. - Pg. 95 - Working With Others Hour To Hour - Book - Quote One hour at a time leads to one day at a time in our recovery program. Each hour is one of 24 building blocks of each day of our sobriety and clean time. My current building block is to be kind and considerate for this hour. Help me center my emotions and be kind and considerate for this hour. Empowering My Own Day There are no victims, only volunteers. If there is something I don't like in the way things are going for me, I will see what I can change. I can change the subject if someone goes on and on about things that I don't want to talk about. I can change my routines or change the way I get to where I am going, I can set boundaries with my time if I am feeling over scheduled. My time and what I do with it is precious to me, it is all I have to call my very own. I won't throw it away and then blame someone else gobbling it up. I have a right to protect the quiet and enjoyment of my day, to do more of those things that give me pleasure and fewer of those things that run me down. If I am living up to my responsibilities, that is enough. Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote They say both, 'My best thinking got me drunk' and 'Think a drink through.' Which is it? Are our thoughts friend or foe? Both, and the difference between 'stink'n think'n' and 'straight thinking' is simply self-honesty. We find a good place to start in Step Four. I have to think everything I believe, but I don't have to believe everything I think. I won't throw my time away with both hands - Tian Dayton PhD "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book If you are right, you don't need to be angry; if you are wrong, you can't afford to be angry. Time for Joy - Book - Quote Today I give myself permission to take the quiet time I need to meditate and to improve my conscious contact with God. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote There a no passengers in AA, we're all crew. - Anon. |
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