August 16

Resolve to be thyself; and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery.
--Matthew Arnold

We all have known the braggarts, the boastful ones who constantly toot their own horns. These people crave approval because they don't yet approve of themselves. There are those who do the same thing but they're not so noisy about it. The girl who says she's ugly even though she's pretty, or the guy who says he's dumb even though he isn't. These are not humble people. They are people who need to learn to approve of themselves.

We don't have to be either of these people now. We can honestly look at ourselves and see our strengths and weaknesses for what they are. We don't have to put ourselves down today. Best of all, we can now accept compliments graciously.

Today I will make an effort to accept myself.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

August 17

I am responsible for myself, my recovery, my well-being, my happiness. All these things are, ultimately, my own responsibility.
--Anonymous

Our Higher Power does not lay claim to our free will. We can choose not to be responsible and make ourselves more miserable by going to new levels of despair and depression. Or we can seize every opportunity for a better life. We are responsible.

When we were newcomers and just getting started, we were generally very confused. We welcomed the support. Many of us were fed up with our lives and would have freely turned them in for a different model. But we learned to put into action what we were learning. We are responsible.

Our sponsors give us good advice and sound instructions. We can choose to listen to the advice or not. We are responsible.

Although we will always be dependent on God for our strength, it is up to us to ask God for that strength and do the necessary work to receive it. We are responsible.

Today, I'll remember my Higher Power has given me free will to accept or reject responsibility. My life is better when I act responsibly.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

August 18

Reflection for the Day

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects. Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?

Today I Pray

May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the "why's" of my blaming.

Today I Will Remember

Blame-saying is game-playing.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

August 19

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
--The Serenity Prayer

Newcomer

What if the person to whom I'm trying to make amends is still too angry to accept my apology or doesn't want anything to do with me?

Sponsor

This is an important question. When we speak our amends aloud or write them in a letter, as long as we have acknowledged the harm we've done and are committed to doing things differently, then our amends are genuine and we've done our part.

One of the things over which we have no control is the way another person reacts to our amends. He or she may be understanding, even loving and generous, or may not be as ready to forgive us as we are to acknowledge the harm we've done. Hearing from us may revive old anger or pain. Some may think we're trying to get off easy. Our recovery itself may cause resentment.

In time, friends' or relatives' attitudes may change – or they may not. We can't force other human beings to forgive us or to want us in their lives, and we can't make things happen on our timetable.

Today, I do my part by taking appropriate actions; I turn over the results of those actions to my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

August 20

Moving Forward

Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don't need to suffer with them.

It doesn't help.

It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us.

Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We're accountable for ourselves. They're accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow.

Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

August 21

I thank God for my handicaps for, through them, I have found myself, my work, and my God.
--Helen Keller

All of us have unique talents and gifts. No obstacle, be it physical, mental, or emotional, has the power to destroy our innate creative energies.

In order to tap our inner resources, we must first be willing to explore our interests and abilities. Then we need to make persistent efforts to acquire the necessary skills and knowledge which will help us achieve our highest potentials.

Helen Keller's life story is an excellent example of this kind of courage and persistence. With the help of her teacher, Anne Sullivan, Helen learned to speak and read. Because Helen did not allow her blindness and deafness to destroy her innate gifts, she inspired millions to challenge their own physical, mental, and emotional handicaps and limitations.

Today I will not allow my limitations to overwhelm me. I will see them as challenges that I and others can benefit from. I will acquire any new skills or information I need to make my limitations work for me, not against me.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

August 22

A man of courage is also full of faith.
-- Cicero

Faith and courage walk hand in hand. Courage empowers us to act in favor of what we believe, but cannot know. Courage is animated by the vision of faith. It doesn't take any faith to perform an action that doesn't require a risk. Only when the outcome is uncertain, and the effort itself a feat of daring, must faith and courage come on the scene together to get the job done.

To reach out to another, if we have known frequent rejection, is to act courageously in spite of an uncertain outcome. To stand firm in a decision, if we have always given in and given up, is to back our faith in a most daring and courageous way.

Many recovering people, who never think of themselves as spiritual, are excellent models of faith because they continually reach out for what is not common in their lives. Because they believe, they're willing and able to take the risk.

Today, I can do what I believe I can do.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

August 23

We learn to expect the unexpected.

Serenity and satisfaction come not when we achieve some measure of precarious temporary control, but when we learn to expect the unexpected. They come when we learn the art of responding to change and accommodating the ever-shifting circumstances of our lives.

We did not choose our journey before we were born. We did not choose the fact that this journey will end in death. Naturally we want to control what we can and our lives are better when we do so. But the best part of the adventure comes in taking what life brings to us and learning how to make it work. No amount of blaming, criticism, soul-searching, or grumpiness will ever unearth the reasons why changes happen.

Our relationship can be corroded by the acid of blame, but it becomes stronger when we join together as a team to cope with the events that shape our lives.

Tell your partner one event in your relationship that you did not welcome but that brought new growth.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

August 24

The smallest seed of faith is better than the largest fruit of happiness.
--Henry David Thoreau

Life's crises seem terrifying and endless when they are happening. As we reflect on these stressful periods, we begin to realize that they provide a chance for change and growth. We get a feeling of hope when we think back to past problems that seemed like mountains of despair at the time. Today, many of our mountains of fear are behind us. We have been able to climb these mountains in our lives even though we may have had to take different paths than we had planned.

Now we know that, with faith, we can meet every challenge — that we are given no obstacle we can't turn into an opportunity.

Today let me be willing to let my Higher Power lead me in an orderly direction.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

August 25

If you don't have any loyalty to what you are doing, you ought not be doing it.
-- Tom Harding

We understand loyalty to friends and family members, but does loyalty to an activity imply the same thing? To be loyal to an activity means to stick with it even when we hit the inherent snags. Let's consider a hobby for instance. Are we so frustrated when we can't track down a particular stamp or seem unable to complete the 5000 piece puzzle that we consider quitting the activity in disgust? If so, we probably lack the loyalty that Tom alludes to.

Each of us has to consider for ourselves whether or not we value this kind of loyalty when it comes to the "extracurriculars" in our lives. We're not failures if we decide to drop some hobby for another one. Sometimes we can't see that some interest doesn't fit us all that well until we get deep into it. What's more important is that we remain loyal to our values, whatever they are. When some activity loses its appeal, for any reason, and we continue to stay with it out of shame or embarrassment, we're not being loyal to that which is most important — ourselves.

Today, I'll ask myself if my hobbies suit my true interests.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

August 26

Mile by mile, life's a trial.
Yard by yard, it's not so hard.
Inch by inch, it's a cinch.
-- Proverb

An important key to progress on the path is to take it one step at a time. Just as investing a little on a regular basis builds long-term wealth, the little gains we make each day pay off in spiritual dividends. As a successful musical group explained, "We spent years preparing for our overnight success."

Taking it one step at a time means living in the present moment, letting life gradually reveal itself to us. Some people get nervous and want to know the final outcome. But how can we know an outcome that hasn't yet occurred? Trust in the process, and the perfect result will occur.

When our faith wavers, we often get ahead of ourselves and try to figure out what is going to happen. This "future tripping" removes us from our source of guidance in the present. Sometimes we try to hit it big in a hurry. But there is no fooling the Universe. Sooner or later we will have to go back and retrace the steps that we skipped. The only place where success comes before work is in the dictionary.

Whatever the goal or desire, approach it one step at a time. Small measures consistently taken guarantee progress. Eventually you will emerge victorious, having attained a reward that you have truly earned.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

August 27

Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.
--Anne Frank

Anne Frank had good reason to be unhappy, full of fear, and deeply discouraged. Years of her life were spent in a small apartment hiding from the Nazis who wanted to destroy her and her family.

Yet even in this little hiding place she had happiness. It was something she had inside which did not depend on what happened around her. She had riches of the heart. She had faith that kept her going. She had love and concern for her family and others, which made even a restricted life very rich with feelings. It is tempting to believe that we will be happy when we have something outside ourselves, which will make us happy. But happiness is not something we have to find outside; the seeds are in our hearts already.

What happiness can I find in my latest setback?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

August 28

Success can only be measured in terms of distance traveled.
--Mavis Gallant

We are forever moving from one experience to another, one challenge to another, and one relationship to another. Our ability to handle confidently all encounters is a gift of the program, and one that accompanies us throughout every day, providing we humbly express gratitude for it. Success is ours when we are grateful.

We are not standing still. No matter how uneventful our lives may seem, we are traveling toward our destiny, and all the thrills and tears, joys and sorrows, are contributing to the success of our trip. Every day, every step, we are succeeding.

We can reflect on yesterday, better yet, on last week or even last year. What were our problems? It's doubtful we can even remember them. We have put distance between them and us. They were handled in some manner. We have succeeded in getting free of them. We have succeeded in moving beyond them.

How far we have come! And we will keep right on traveling forward. As long as we rely on the program, we are assured of success.

I can do whatever I need to do today, with success, when I humbly accept the program's gifts.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

August 29

Love at first sight is easy to understand. It's when two people have been looking at each other for years that it becomes a miracle.
--Sam Levenson

True intimacy introduces us to ourselves. A loving relationship is the greatest therapy. When we first fall in love, we are filled with optimism and the greatest hopes for fulfillment of our dreams. We cling to all the best qualities of the person we fall in love with and we look past those things we don't like. But living in an intimate partnership takes us beyond the edge of what we have learned. It is truly an adult developmental challenge.

Most of us fall in love and soon find ourselves in over our heads. We haven't had experience as adults in sustaining the openness and vulnerability we have walked into. We may gradually begin to feel too vulnerable and exposed. The relationship tests our ability to trust someone who has this much access to our inner self. We are tempted to become cranky, edgy, or overly sensitive. We may test our partner's love by asking, If you love me, will you do such and such? We begin to try to control our partner so we don't feel so vulnerable. All these temptations are holdover behaviors from our less mature selves. So we must reach for our more mature selves, breathe deeply, and trust that we can survive while being so close and vulnerable.

Today I will turn to my Higher Power for guidance in going forward, in trust while being vulnerable.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

August 30

Defeat may serve as well as victory
To shake the soul and let the glory out.
--Edwin Markham

So life has given us some dents. So what? Dents are necessary, besides being unavoidable and painful. Each dent is a part of the process that enables us to embrace life as a creative experience and to see the world in a new way, a way of compassion and understanding. Recovery is not a matter of escaping further blows or of disguising the dents we already have. It's a matter of understanding what the dents mean and how we can work with them.

Dents are neither soft spots in our characters that should make us ashamed nor saber scars that should make us proud. They are simply evidence that we have been alive for a while. Recovery offers us the chance to learn from our dents, to accept them as new spaces for growth. When we decide to see our dents as opportunities gained rather than opportunities lost, we stand much taller in our own eyes and in the eyes of others.

Today, I will look on my difficult life experiences in a new light. Today, I will plant some seeds.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty