Today's Thought - March
 

March 1

Reflection for the Day

Change is a part of the flow of life. Sometimes we're frustrated because change seems slow in coming. Sometimes, too, we're resistant to a change that seems to have been thrust upon us. We must remember that change, in and of itself, neither binds us nor frees us. Only our attitude toward change binds or frees. As we learn to flow with the stream of life, praying for guidance as to any change that presents itself - praying, also, for guidance if we want to make a change and none seems in view - we become willing. Am I willing to let God take charge, directing me in the changes I should make and the actions I should take?

Today I Pray

When change comes too fast - or not fast enough - for me, I pray I can adjust accordingly to make use of the freedom The Program offers to me. I pray for the guidance of my Higher Power when change presents itself - or when it doesn't and I wish it would. May I listen for direction from that Power.

Today I Will Remember

God is in charge.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

March 2

Battles we've won or lost

Even the continuous recovery we're enjoying is no shield from traps we seem to set for ourselves. At times, we can find ourselves in the foolish game of continuing to fight battles we've won or lost.

One losing battle is the attempt to win the approval of someone who has always disliked us. That person may be gone, but we still fight - and lose - the same battle when we find ourselves in a similar situation.

We also may have won some battles without knowing it. This can happen when we've set our goals unrealistically high. We may be fairly successful in our work, for example, but still feel that we have failed because a high goal we set eluded us. That goal, however, may have been all but impossible to attain, and while we mourn our perceived failure, we ignore the successes we may have achieved in the meantime. Consequently, we should never let any of these battles interfere with our plan for sobriety. We must stay sober at all costs.

This day, I'll not strive to impress people who may always disapprove of me. I will also accept my successes even if they fall short of my highest dreams.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

March 3

Trying to ignore our worries only pushes them underground.

Pretending we are not anxious, when we are, is a tactic that fools no one, especially not ourselves. Attempting to deny or repress our fears and worries does not work. The result is often depression or a physical ailment, indicating that in our subconscious, we know very well that something is wrong.

The rigorous honesty of the Twelve Step way of life saves us from playing destructive games with ourselves. A worry that we can define and examine in the light of day is far less threatening than one we are trying to hide.

So let's ask ourselves what it is we fear. If our worry is a rational one, we need to decide what we can do to prepare for the worst-case scenario. If the worry is irrational, we need to figure out how to get rid of it. But, no matter whether a worry is rational or irrational, we can't turn it over until we acknowledge we have it. Getting our worries out in the open and talking about them with people whose judgment we trust keeps us grounded in reality.

If I am worried about something today, I will consciously examine it so that I can resolve it.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

March 4

Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.
--Emily Dickinson

We often hum and sing to ourselves because it makes us feel content. It is the melody itself that makes us feel good--words and thoughts do not matter.

Having hope for ourselves and for our universe is like having a melody always moving inside us. The melody may be calm or exciting, but most of all it brings with it beauty and a sense of peace. Hope can overcome the need for words and thoughts and promises. Hope is the melody that keeps us going, the hum that continues even when there are no words to the song. Hope is not a melody we think about--it must come when we believe in the goodness of our world. If we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we will be able to find the melody of hope inside us at all times.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

March 5

The art of life is to show your hand.
--C.V. Lucas

Newcomer

I've been thinking about talking to another sponsor. Not to replace you - our relationship is important to me, and I get a lot from it - but in addition to you.

Sponsor

We're lucky to have such an abundance of sober experience in this fellowship. There are many of us, and we can get to know people with various lengths of time in recovery, different experiences, and different styles. Knowing others and having the willingness to let others know us is one of the keys to growing in recovery.

I support your wanting to enlarge your support system by taking on a second sponsor. There may be someone, for example, with whom you want to focus on spiritual matters.

Your expressing your desire for additional sponsorship gives us an opportunity to take a look at our own relationship. You may think that I won't be able to understand a particular issue that's troubling you. You may be worried about how much you've already shared with me - many of us in this fellowship are new to letting others get close, and we may feel anxious about it. Problems with relationships are often at the heart of problems of addiction. Whatever it is, I'm open to hearing about it, and I won't criticize your feelings or walk away. I've been there myself. Thank you for being willing to talk with me about your needs and plans.

Today, I am willing to be honest and open with a trusted person.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

March 6

I can change only myself, but sometimes that is enough.
--Ruth Humlecker

Happiness is more fleeting for some of us than for others. We may ponder this notion but fail to grasp the reason. However, careful attention to how "the happy ones" go through life will enlighten us. We will note how seldom they complain about others' actions. We will discover their willingness to accept others as they are. We will see that their attention is generally on the positive aspects of people and circumstances rather than on the negative.

We can join the parade of "happy ones" by letting go of our need to change people and situations that disturb us. Even when we are certain other people are wrong, we can let go of controlling them. Doing this means changing ourselves, of course. But this is the one thing in life we do have control over.

I will change myself if I think something needs changing today!

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

March 7

Being alone and feeling vulnerable. Like two separate themes, these two parts of myself unite in my being and sow the seeds of my longing for unconditional love.
--Mary Casey

How easily we slip into self-doubt, fearing we're incapable or unlovable, perhaps both. How common for us to look into the faces of our friends and lovers in search of affirmation and love.

Our alienation from ourselves, from one another, from God's Spirit, which exists everywhere, causes our discontent. It is our discontent. When souls touch, love is born, love of self and love of the other. Our aloneness exists when we create barriers that keep us separate from our friends, our family. Only we can reach over or around the barriers to offer love, to receive love.

Recovery offers us the tools for loving, but we must dare to pick them up. Listening to others and sharing ourselves begins the process of loving. Risking to offer love before receiving it will free us from the continual search for love in the faces of others.

I won't wait to be loved today. I will love someone else, fully. I won't doubt that I, too, am loved. I will feel it.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

March 8

Love it the way it is.
--Thaddeus Colas

It's easy to love people who are like us, who may have been raised the same way, educated the same way, share the same values, or have had many of the same experiences. It's not as easy to love people who seem different. But if we are to fulfill God's plan for us, we should try.

It's not easy, either, to love the way we feel sometimes, or the unpleasant things that happen to us. But, like the people who are "different" from us, even our negative feelings need to be loved. Our fears, frustrations, pain, boredom, despair - these are part of us and they oftentimes have a greater purpose.

We may not think it's possible to love how we feel, but we can make the decision to love everything about ourselves - and then we can see what happens. We may not know God's purpose, but we may understand better if we learn to love ourselves the way we are.

I don't know God's plan for me, but I accept myself and others in love.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

March 9

Blame and Criticism

Am I bored? Highly critical? Fearful or anxious? If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," I may be suffering the effects of procrastination.

If I am plagued by boredom, I may not be seeking or initiating constructive changes in my life. By refusing to ask questions or seek answers to questions I already have, for instance, I perpetuate my sense of failure and emptiness.

If I am highly critical of others, it is very likely I am a "non-doer." People who are busy doing their heart's desires have little time to complain about the actions or attitudes of others.

If I am anxious or fearful about the future, I may be postponing until tomorrow what I could be doing today. Merely hoping or wishing my life will get better, while avoiding or worrying about an unpleasant task or problem, is self-defeating at best. If I want to live today fully, I must do something constructive with it.

TODAY I will tackle at least two things I dread doing. I will not waste my time and energy by wallowing in boredom, worry, criticism, or fear. I will do what needs to be done even if it requires effort, risk and change.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

March 10

Good Grief

"The strangest thing happened," said my friend, a lovably neurotic, very obsessive businessman in his mid-forties.

"I was watching one of those afternoon TV talk show. This one was about problem kids. A parent comes on. She talks about how out of control her child is. Then a parenting expert comes on. He does tough love with the kids, like a drill sergeant, screaming and getting in their faces. Then he takes the troubled kids for a week and straightens them out.

"So this nine-year-old boy comes on. He's been a monster. Killing animals in the neighborhood. Driving his mother nuts. The drill sergeant guy gets right up in this kid's face. He's screaming. 'You think you're tough? You're a tough guy?'

"The expert's screaming at the kid. The kid is just standing there. And I'm watching this thinking Maybe this kid is just a bad seed. 'How'd you like me to come home with you for a week? Be in your face like this all the time,' the expert hollered. 'Would you like that?'

"'Yes,' the boy said.

"'What did you say? Yes? You'd like that? Why would you like that?'

"'Because I don't have a dad,'" the kid said. The boy's lip quivered. The expert got silent. The audience went nuts. But that's not the strange thing," my friend said. "Melody, I started crying. Sobbing like a baby. I haven't cried for ten years."

"What do you think that was about?" I asked.

"I realized how much I missed having a dad," he said. "When people asked me, I always said it wasn't important. I didn't know until I saw that show and started crying that you could miss something you never had."

Sometimes we don't know what or whom we're missing.

"How can I stop feeling so blue about being separated from my children?" another friend asked when business had taken him away from home for a month. "You're asking the wrong person," I said, "It has been eleven years since my son died, and I still miss him every day."

Grief. It may strike suddenly, catching our heart by surprise. Or it may pound relentlessly and persistently for years, like ocean waves beating on the shore.

Whether we're conscious of what or whom we're missing, our heart knows. We may never be happy about whom or what we have lost, but it is possible to be happy again.

Grief isn't an abnormal condition. It's nature's way of healing our heart.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

March 11

The love, the acceptance of other persons makes me into the unique person I am meant to be.
--Peter G. van Breemen, S.J.

Our destinies are fulfilled through our loving involvement with the men, women, and children sharing our experiences. It is not by accident but by design that we've been drawn together to share goals, the workplace, or a home. We contribute to each other's search for understanding, and the spiritual quest that's at our center finds its resting place in one another's hearts.

The letter, the smile, or phone call we offer a fellow traveler today will bless our own faltering steps throughout the long hours ahead. Each time we focus our attention on the struggle or joy of someone else, our personal well being is enhanced. If we give away our love, we'll doubt less that we, too, are loved.



You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

March 12

Comparing my insides to other people's outsides causes me problems.
--Joan Rohde

For most of our lives we felt inferior. Others seemed smarter, wittier, and more attractive. We felt inadequate every time we compared ourselves to others. Getting sober hasn't freed us from this behavior, at least not completely. Fortunately, we now have tools that we can use in changing behavior that hinders our growth.

Talking with a sponsor, sharing with a friend, or asking God for help frees us from the hold of negative behaviors. Comparing ourselves to others doesn't have to shame us any longer. All that's necessary is to stop the thought, think instead of God's presence within, and quietly bless ourselves and the person who unknowingly triggered our reaction. Our progress in changing this shortcoming will be as swift as our decision to take this simple action.

I am in control of my thoughts. God will help me every time I start to compare myself to someone else today.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

March 13

We wonder, "How can I ever say this?"

We need to be free to talk about anything in our intimate relationships. Some things are very hard to say - an old secret we have never told before, a feeling or an observation our partner does not want to hear, a mistake we made that calls for confession. We wonder, "How can I ever say this? How can I avoid hurting myself or my partner?"

Not all things need to be said at once. Readiness is the first part. We can get ourselves ready to speak. The second part is timing. When we are ready, we wait for a good moment to appear, a moment in which our message will fit. The third part is love. Honesty coupled with care and love is healing and strengthening. Some pain is necessary in a growing relationship, and we can tolerate it because it leads to more understanding and more peace of mind.

Think of one new thing you would like to tell your mate about your thoughts, feelings, or behavior.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

March 14

I always entertain great hopes.
--Robert Frost

In our honest journey, we must admit life is often difficult and painful. But these facts do not describe all of life, and they do not determine how we respond. The sun rises warm and bright after a cold and dark night. The open, generous smile of a small child reaches into the soft part of us all. To be strong and hardy on this spiritual path, we must be truthful about the pain and unfairness in life while holding firmly to a belief in all the generous possibilities.

Surrendering to despair, we trade the uncertainty of options for the certainty of gloom. Then we might say, "At least I'm never disappointed this way." Life isn't filled only with difficulty and pain. It is also filled with people whose dignity and spirit rise above their circumstances. There are situations when great sacrifice or love and wisdom turn a problem into an opportunity and strength. If we look at what has happened in our own lives and in those of others, we have ample reason to hope.

My own experience in recovery gives me great hope in what can be.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

March 15

On any journey, we must find out where we are before we can plan the first step.
--Kathy Boevink

Our lives in all aspects are a journey toward a destination, one fitting to our purpose, our special gifts, and our particular needs. Each day contributes to our journey, carrying us closer to our destination. However, we often take a circuitous route. We get stranded or waylaid by our selfish desires, by the intrusion of our controlling ego.

We can reflect on the progress we've made toward our destination, the steps we've taken that have unknowingly contributed to our journey. Our easiest steps have been the ones we took in partnership with God. It's in God's mind that our path is well marked.

We are just where we need to be today. The experiences that we meet are like points on the map of our journey. Some of them are rest stops. Others resemble high-speed straight-aways. The journey to our destination is not always smooth, but the more we let God sit in the driver's seat, the easier will be our ride.

I will plan my journey today with God's help, and my ride will be smooth.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

March 16

I've started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful. Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the air, however many times you banged your head against the wall. . .
--The Courage to Change by Dennis Wholey

The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully. Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience. Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good.

We cannot always have what we want when we want it. For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now. But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future. Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later.

We can trust that all is on schedule. Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out - in us, in someone else, in the Universe.

We don't have to put our life on hold while we wait. We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting - then we go about living it.

Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait. The old saying, "You can't always get what you want" isn't entirely true. Often, in life, we can get what we want - especially the desires of our heart - if we can learn to wait.

Today, I am willing to learn the art of patience. If I am feeling powerless because I am waiting for something to happen and I am not in control of timing, I will focus on the power available to me by learning to wait.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

March 17

You have three choices: keep on fighting, ignore each other, or make up and be friends.
--John Knoblauch

Once there were four sixth-graders - two boys and two girls - who started to fight even though they'd been friends for years. One morning at the bus stop, the boys started playing keep-away with the girls' shoes and wouldn't give them back. One of the mothers called the school.

Later that day, the counselor called them in and asked them what the fight was all about. They said they didn't really know.

"Well," said the counselor, "it doesn't really matter why you started fighting. Right now, you've got three choices: keep on fighting, ignore each other, or make up."

The group chose to ignore each other after discussing it among themselves. They were happy to be able to stop fighting. About the time of winter vacation, they decided to be friends again.

What conflicts can I resolve by letting them be?



You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

March 18

You're never too old to grow up.
--Shirley Conran

A child's view of adults is that they have arrived at some fixed point where they are emancipated and have all the tools necessary for life. An adult knows that we never stop growing. Many of us have been stuck in an immature level of development. Our life stresses and our addictions took us off the track of emotional growth. We found substitutes and evasions for truly dealing with the normal life problems. Now we are back on the much more rewarding path of truly living and growing.

We accept the adult wisdom that we all need help and we all continue to learn and grow throughout our life span. We finally feel like adults because we take responsibility for our actions. We don't blame others for our problems, and when our days feel challenging, we can ask for help. Back on our path, we are never alone.

Today I am grateful to be on the path of dealing with my life and continuing to grow truly stronger.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

March 19

Hope and patience are two sovereign remedies for all, the surest reposal, the softest cushions to lean on in adversity.
--Robert Burton

It is just as easy to think, "I can" as it is to think, "I can't." Both attitudes are habitual orientations to life that can become automatic with practice. Neither attitude has as much to do with the task at hand as it does with the inner spirit of the person facing the task. In either case, the task is the same - only the attitude is different.

But what a difference! The "I can" people are the ones we want to spend time with and to use as models. These are the people who either have never lost, or have worked to regain the positive outlook we are all born with. It never occurs to a baby, for example, that all that staggering and falling means he or she will never learn to walk. Babies grow, move forward, and succeed. They haven't learned to hang back or fear defeat. Knee-jerk negativity is something we can all do without. Let's backtrack to that time in our lives when all things were possible ... because they still are.

Today, I will focus on my successes. "I can" is my credo.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

March 20

Love cures. It cures those who give it and it cures those who receive it.
--Dr. Karl Menninger

Love is no mystery, but its results are magical in many ways. It's generally accepted that many illnesses are psychosomatic. Because we often feel anxiously alone, lonely, fearful, and unloved, we express our need through our bodies. How sad so many of us are so hindered. But we can each be willing participants in a solution. The action called for is simple. All it requires is the decision to act with favor toward one another.

A look through loving eyes on a struggling person offers him or her the strength to try and try again and thus succeed. Lovingly moving the barriers to another's achieving spirit will benefit all who share this journey.

Love multiplies the great and simple acts of goodness in the world. Each of us, with no more effort than a genuinely warm glance, can change the course of history today, tomorrow, always.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

March 21

Our Spiritual Journey

We begin our spiritual journey at different times in our lives but most of us reach the same place eventually where we accept the guidance of a Power greater than ourselves. A Power that cares for us and accepts us just as we are. A Power that guides us, teaches us, and grants us just what we need – and, at times, what we want. A power that helps us cope with our illness each day. A Power that never leaves our side, even when we become angry and demanding.

If we have not yet begun our spiritual journey, there is still time to do so. Our Higher Power is there for us. All that is required from us is the willingness to begin.

Today, have I begun my spiritual journey?

Thought for the Day

Spirituality is a gift that is always available.

You are reading from the book:

A Restful Mind by Mark Allen Zabawa

March 22

We are only human
. . . paying attention to our growth

Trusting our partner has a lot to do with trusting ourselves. When we feel confused, unsure, or in conflict about our own direction, we may shift our attention outside ourselves. Even when we feel unsure about our self-worth, our negative feeling may crystallize as blame directed toward someone else.

Looking outward in that negative way and avoiding responsibility for ourselves makes liars of us. When we do that we are not paying attention to our own growth, not looking at the truth. If we do not claim ownership of our part in a conflict, we will not be able to trust our partner either. We build trust when we are honest with ourselves and expose our truth and vulnerability to our mate.

Tell your partner something you trust about her or him.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

March 23

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear.
--Lao-tzu

A group of friends went swimming one day and one of them lost a ring in the bottom of the lake.

Everyone started diving from different directions to find it until there was so much mud and sand stirred up that no one could see anything. Finally, they decided to clear the water. They waited silently on the edge of the shore for the mud from all their activity to settle. When it finally cleared, one person dove in slowly and picked up the ring.

When we are confused about something in our lives, we will often hear answers and advice from all directions. Our friends will tell us one thing and our families another, until we feel pretty well mixed up. If we look away from our problem and let patience and time do their work, the mud inside us will settle and clear. Our answer will become visible, like the glimmer of silver in the water.

Am I overlooking the simple solution?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

March 24

Blessed is he who has learned to admire but not envy, to follow but not imitate, to praise but not flatter, and to lead but not manipulate.
-- William Arthur Ward

Manipulation is not foreign to most of us. We have probably manipulated and been manipulated. Manipulators may or may not be aware of what they're doing. There may be no malice involved. Often, the only intention is to find the means to continue an addictive behavior. Manipulation, however, can be terrifying if we're the end-receiver. We may also deny that it's happening, usually because we're so confused by it all. But when we realize the truth, we're frightened not only by what's happened, but also by what could happen. We've fallen for this before, what's to prevent us from falling for it again?

We do our best to detach from the manipulator. This may mean letting go physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. The more distance we have, the easier it is to see the truth, to recognize the manipulation. When we must have contact, we keep our head on straight. We don't need to answer to anyone right away. As time goes on, we're better able to identify and to deal appropriately with manipulative behavior.

Today I will have the courage to own the truth.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

March 25

If someone is going to control me, it might as well be me.
-- Sarah B.

Ours is, and must be, a selfish program. Our recovery must be the most important thing in the world to us. Sometimes friends and loved ones are confused and hurt because we spend so much time and energy working at our recovery. It's hard to explain why, yes, we must go to another meeting; no, we can't skip it just this once.

But however difficult, however hurtful or confusing to others our behavior might seem, we must take care of our own needs first. We're no use to our friends and family if we've relapsed, and no use to ourselves, either. Our choices must seem like selfish ones. Our recovery must come first, before the demands of others or even our own comfort. We need to keep our new determination, and work toward a new way of life.

Before, we told ourselves we'd quit tomorrow, that something would happen to make us change. Now, at last, we have the tools to arrest our addiction, but the tools will only work if we use them.

Today help me be in control of my own destiny.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

March 26

Being willing

People often ask, "How does the program work?" The how of this program is Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness. Often we must pray for willingness; sometimes we even have to pray to be willing to be willing!

We have very stubborn wills. If surrendered daily, however, they can accomplish much good for others and ourselves. Surely those who say, "I will, I will" and don't are not as close to the heart of God as those who say "I will not," but do!

Am I really willing?

God, help me realize that to do your will for me today, in however small a way, I must let go of my own will.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

March 27

God can't hand you anything new
until you let go of what you're holding.

*****
If you keep bringing your body,
your mind will follow.

*****
Every AA meeting is a payment on your sobriety.

*****
My problems are self-made.

*****
Yesterday is so far in the past I can't see it;
tomorrow is too distant in the future to be seen.
So I'll take a good look at what I can see - today.

You are reading from the book:

My Mind Is Out to Get Me by Dr. Ron B.

March 28

The cause is hidden, but the result is known.
--Ovid

We know it's coming before we do it. Our boy[girl]friend dumps us and we devour the ice cream. We don't get the promotion so we head for the bar. We have a fight with our spouse and treat ourselves to a new leather jacket - at his or her expense. We decide that because we're feeling bad anyway, we might as well take full advantage of it. We figure the worse we feel, the more entitled we are to the indulgence.

This type of behavior starts a cycle. The worse we feel, the more we want to self-destruct. Let's face it - our actions are usually premeditated.

We think about the ice cream, the drink, or the leather jacket until we can get to it. During the planning stage, we can shift gears. We think it through. We know we have a choice. We decide to do something healthy instead of destructive.

Today I will make only healthy choices for myself.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

March 29

You grow up the first day you have the first real laugh - at yourself.
--Ethel Barrymore

Infants chuckle and gurgle and find the world amusing, but apparently they rarely laugh at themselves. Perhaps that's because they're still very much the lord and master of their world. Even when they see themselves in the mirror, tots are more likely to find themselves incredible than hilarious.

As we grow wiser we gain a sense of proportion about ourselves and our position in the universe. Just as the earth is not the center of the solar system, so we are just one of billions of people on our planet.

Can we smile at ourselves? Or are we always guarding our dignity or feeling fragile and vulnerable? A sense of humor means the ability to enjoy human foibles, even at our own expense. Having this kind of humor helps us to put others - and especially ourselves in relation to others - in perspective. Perhaps it is only when we've had a good laugh at ourselves for our imperfections that we can really begin to gain in stature. By keeping our importance in perspective, we learn to grow.

I can enjoy a good laugh - and will allow myself the freedom of a sense of humor, especially about myself.

You are reading from the book:

Answers in the Heart by Anonymous

March 30

Avoiding blame

It is not uncommon to hear in group, "Why do these things always happen to me?" If "these things" are always happening to us, the obvious answer is that we somehow bring them on ourselves. We are largely unconscious of what we're doing wrong until, slowly, eventually; we manage to dig ourselves out from the results. (It seems incredible that we actually seek to be hurt, but in a way many of us do so, with regularity.)

But blaming others for our problems and indulging in self-pity don't move us along in our program.

Am I still blaming others?

Higher Power, help me take responsibility for myself and my actions, because blaming others will only keep me stuck.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

March 31

Acceptance of things I can't fix.

One of the sad realities of life is that we're awash in a disorder that we can't fix. All around us, the world seethes and festers with ailments and injustices that are beyond our control.

We can react by becoming angry or by making quixotic efforts to solve some of these problems. Our best course, however, is to apply our Twelve Step program to life in this world. The Serenity Prayer suggests we accept what we can't change. A slogan reminds us to set priorities ("First Things First"). The Eleventh Step reminds us to always seek God's will.

This will enable me to live effectively while doing my best to serve others. In time, I may even discover that I can fix a few of the seemingly insoluble problems around me.

I'll realize today that I have the ability only to do certain things within my sphere of experience. I'll see to it, however, that I do these things well.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.