January 16

~ FORGIVENESS ~
Never does the human soul appear so strong
as when it forgoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.

Edwin Hubbel Chapin


I want recovery from my disease of compulsive eating. Part of my program of recovery is asking forgiveness for past wrongs I've committed against other people. It isn't enough for me to make amends just to others, though.


Another aspect of forgiveness is that of forgiving those around me. I need to forgive them for what they may have done to me. Many times people don't know that they've hurt me and maybe triggered a binge, because I've covered up the pain with food. But if I forgive them, then I don't have that pain that I thought could only be soothed with food.


Finally, I need to forgive myself. I can be my harshest critic, and many times I, myself, have been the trigger for my binge. Besides, if I can find it in my heart to forgive others, then surely I can extend the same courtesy to myself.


One day at a time...
I will practice forgiveness in all its forms.


Jeff

January 17

~ PROCRASTINATION ~

Procrastination, more than anything else I can think of,
separates those who want to be successful from those who are.

Lee Silber



I would always intend to start everything 'tomorrow.' As a compulsive overeater I constantly promised myself the diet would start the next day, or if a weekend was approaching, then it would be Monday. When I first found this program I still had the same attitude: I would get a sponsor in good time, I would get a food plan next week, I'd read the Big Book and other program literature when I got a moment. I thought if I just kept going to meetings something will happen.

However, I found that procrastination does not work in program any more than it does outside. I no longer wanted to be the member who was constantly sharing what a dreadful week I had with the food and other aspects of my life.

Today I have a sponsor, I have worked through all the Twelve Steps -- I am still working and living the Steps -- I am in good contact with my Higher Power, have a good food plan which I am following religiously, and I have recovery to bring to my shares.



One Day at a Time . . .
When I make a decision I follow it through with action immediately.

~ Lilian ~

January 18

~ LOVING WORDS ~

One of the hardest things in life
is having words in your heart that you can't utter.

James Earl Jones



Many years ago I had difficulty in expressing feelings of love and caring and warmth and concern. Contrary to this, I had no difficulty in expressing criticism, unkind words or constant critiques. Over the years I have learned so much about myself and others ... and now I can express feelings to my friends and loved ones about everything.

Those who are imprisoned by emotional constipation do little to make life better for themselves or for others. To be able to look at someone in your life and tell them you love them is such a beautiful gift. To tell a store clerk that you like something about them makes their heart sing. To look a little child in the eyes and tell them they have a good heart and you admire them takes them through the rest of the day on wings.



One Day at a Time . . .
Here's to letting the words out of hearts.

~ Mari ~

January 19

~ OPPORTUNITIES ~

Tiger, tiger, burning bright,
In the forest of the night,
What immortal hand or eye,
could frame thy dreadful symmetry?

William Blake



This quote from mystic and poet William Blake expresses the sense of wonder and awe I have about God, who can make a being like a tiger, an aggressive carnivore. God, who I suppose to be kind and loving, makes beings that are potentially dangerous to me. The question "Why?" stirs in my mind, alongside fears about what God may have in store for me.

"Fear of the Lord, is the beginning of wisdom," says one religious text. I can feel grateful for the stirring fear, and question, as the seeds of new wisdom.

A quick thought enters, "I can also feel grateful for the chance to flex my faith muscles and to increase their strength. Maybe that's why God makes tigers and their ilk."

A habit of staying detached from the emotions life arouses in me heightens my perceptions of what life has to offer, highlights what God has to offer in each situation and the reasons I have for being grateful. This is essential to my recovery. It's the spine of an attitude of gratitude that also nurtures remembrance of God, and conscious contact with Him.


One Day at a Time . . .
I thank God for what I have already learned,
for all opportunities to learn more,
and for the chance to perfect "skill in action" in my recovery way of life.

~ James ~

January 20

New Worlds

“Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.”

Anais Nin



Most of us are so compulsive at almost everything we do, that allowing people in to know our garbage of the past and present is unheard of.


You go to a meeting, find a new recovery friend, and that friend opens a new door. You and that friend step through and WOW, the world in that room looks great! Later at another meeting, you meet another recovery friend and another door is opened. You and your two new friends step through and you find an even better world view. This continues to happen meeting after meeting, Step after Step, room after room and your personal life begins to look much brighter and more beautiful. You find that there really is hope.


Funny how it's still the same world, but friends, recovery and Higher Power make it a much better world view.


One Day at a Time . . .
I will never end this beautiful cycle of finding new worlds as long as I never lose sight of my Higher Power, my recovery friends and my recovery program.

~ Jeanette

January 21

~ POSITIVE THINKING ~

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.

Zig Ziglar



I came into Twelve Step meetings after descending into a well of negative thinking. It was a vicious cycle, one I wasn't even aware of for the longest time. My negative thinking fostered many resentments, hurts and binges. Once I became aware of this and started to work on changing my destructive thinking, I discovered that letting in just one negative thought opened the door to more negative thinking.

Then one day in a meeting I heard a longtimer say that negative thinking attracted negative (thinking and actions) and positive thinking attracted positive (thinking and actions). That made sense with what I was experiencing. As I walked out of that meeting, I determined that I would do everything I could to keep all my thoughts positive in order to attract more positives to my life.

It worked! The more positive I could keep my thoughts, the better I felt about everything, and the more good things happened to me. My general attitude soared. When a bad thing happened (and they do happen) I found good things about it and focused on the good. Many many times I discovered that the "bad" thing had actually been a new good direction in disguise.

Positive attracts positive. Negative attracts negative. I'd rather attract positive.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember to turn to the program to help maintain my peace and serenity, especially through the bad times.

~ Rhonda ~

January 22

~ SERVICE ~

The only ones among you who will be really happy
are those who will have sought and found how to serve.

Albert Schweitzer



In my first few 12 step meetings, I was so angry. On one hand, I didn't think I needed to be there, although deep inside, I knew I did. People were nice enough, greeted me, made me feel welcome, but I kept myself apart with my anger. I was angry that there seemed to be a small core group of members who attended weekly and obviously knew each other well. I didn't think they'd let me in their inner group; I didn't get invited.

Next, I tried to get the program without working the Steps. That inner group talked about the Steps all the time. I'd show them how good I was; I'd get the program, get the recovery they'd gotten, by taking a shorter route. The Steps were for dummies, and I wasn't dumb. I quickly found out the Steps are the only way to get the 12 step program, hence its name.

I struggled for a long time. Then I started giving service to my group. It started off by simply straightening up the room because I always got there early. I asked for a key so I could put out the books. I started greeting newcomers, who usually showed up early. When the person who'd signed on to do the topic didn't make it one week, I agreed to lead the meeting.

To my shock, I was giving service. In looking back at my first weeks in the program, I realized that the "inner core" of my home group had become my very good friends. When had I been asked in? Never. I joined when I began to give service and became one of them, the service-givers to the group. I learned why they seemed to have such effortless growth-- it came from giving service. With service I always get back much more than I put in.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember to give of myself. I will remember that giving service in the program gives me so many gifts in return.

~ Rhonda ~

January 23

~ CRITICISM ~

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

Elbert Hubbard



For so many years, I thought I was the only kid who had been raised with criticism. Fear of criticism is one of the reasons I walked on eggshells at home. I learned to fear success in anything and everything. If I could only be "middle of the road," maybe no one would notice me and I wouldn't have to deal with criticism. I did what I had to do to survive.

As I grew older, I received constructive criticism by wise people, but sadly, I didn't know how to utilize such a gift. It hurt me, and I turned away from well-meaning people. I rebelled against their advice.

The program has taught me that all criticism is not bad. I never thought a day would come where I was comfortable with it. I recently took a correspondence course to help me with my work, and naturally the instructor had to critique my work. I worried about that before I took the course. In fact, I'd wanted to take that class for years, but had not been able to handle the cold fear that stabbed at me when I looked at the application. I finished the class last month. There was much criticism to help me to learn, and I didn't shrink from it. I learned from it. It's all in the attitude.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will pray to remember I have choices. I will pray to keep my attitude in a good place so that I might see all the opportunities available to me.

~ Rhonda ~

January 24

~ POSITIVE ATTITUDE ~

Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money,
than circumstances, than what people do or say.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.

Charles Swindoll



I can't remember ever having a consistently good attitude. When I was younger, I usually wore a mask of a good attitude, so many people were attracted to the mask but not to the real me, and I knew it. It didn't help my attitude grow more positive.

Coming into the Twelve Step program, my attitude was all negative. My theory was that if I expected the worst from everyone and everything, if by chance I got something better, I could be pleasantly surprised. This makes me laugh now. With that attitude, would ANYTHING ever be considered good enough to "pleasantly surprise" me? No, and it didn't. I ignored the many good things that happened--or I created a dark side to them.

In a meeting, I once heard that positives attract positives, and negatives attract negatives. This has stuck with me for years. It might be a scientific thing, but for me it refers to attitude. When I make the choice to be in a bad mood, I struggle through the day. Nothing seems to go right, and if it does, I don't notice it or appreciate it. When I make the simple choice to be in a good mood despite whatever problems I'm facing, good things happen to me. People smile back, elevating my mood. I can find humor in things around me. The sun is shining even on a rainy day. It's all up to me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will make the choice to be happy for just today. I will look for the good in myself, in others and in the situations around me. I will keep my attitude positive.

~ Rhonda ~

January 25

~ MOVING ON ~

Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind.
Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time.

Eileen Caddy



As a child, teen, and young adult, I was sexually, emotionally, mentally and physically abused. I was neglected as well. By the time I was a young woman, the "abuse" was history, and I was left dealing with a very sick family. But I could not let go of my abused past!

The abuse became the topic of every conversation I had. Anything I saw on TV or read in a book or newspaper brought to mind the past. I awoke in the middle of the night to relive my childhood nightmares for a few hours before crying myself back to sleep. I spent entire days staring at the television, eating to numb myself from my pain and anger.

Eventually, I wanted more from my life. I became disgusted with myself and what my life had become. I was led to a Twelve Step group. There I learned how to let go of the past, to work through it, to make amends for my part in things, and to forgive those who abused me.

Today, when I discuss the abuse I suffered, which is seldom, I can do so without the anger and pain bubbling up. I can help others with my story, and then I can let it go. It is my history, but it's no longer ruling my present.

Like Thomas Raddall said, "Don't brood on what's past, but never forget it either."

One Day at a Time . . .
I will make amends and forgive others, not for them, but for me. I pray to live in today, to make it the best day I can.


~ Rhonda ~

January 26

~ HOPE ~

In the hour of adversity be not without hope,
For crystal rain falls from black clouds.

Persian poem



When I was a child, I lived in a fantasy world and dreamed of all the wonderful things that would happen to me when I grew up. I would have a wonderful husband, beautiful children, a fulfilling job and, of course, I would be thin. Unfortunately the fantasy never materialized, and even when I did lose weight my life wasn't the perfect life that I had envisioned. I would lose weight and then promptly regain it. Life in general seemed so empty and futile. No matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to work. I hated myself and my life; it often seemed pointless to go on.

When I walked into the doors of the first meeting I ever attended, there was something on the faces of the people I met there. I didn't know what it was at the time, but I saw something that I wanted. It wasn't that they were all thin, because many of them were not. So what was it that these people had that I didn't? What they had was the hope of recovery. If they were willing to reach out to a Higher Power of their understanding, and if they would work the program one day at a time, then this would guarantee them recovery.

I didn't know what recovery meant then. Because all I wanted was to lose weight, and because I wanted what they had, I was prepared to do what they were doing. I realized then that it wasn't only about the weight, although that does play a part. These people were learning how to live their life sanely, and even when they struggled with life, as we do from time to time, there was always the hope that they could get through those difficult times by using the tools and reaching out to others in the fellowship.

One Day at a Time . . .
Even when I am going through difficult times and the future looks gloomy, I have hope that it will get better if I'm willing to work a simple program.

~ Sharon S. ~

January 27

~ DECISIONS ~

We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing ...
but even that is a decision.
Gary Collins, PhD.
Clinical psychologist and well-known author in the field of counseling



I can't recall if I ever learned that I had choices. I think it's something a person learns as they grow up, but in my home, it was pretty much Mom's way or the highway, and she had us all so scared of the highway that even THAT wasn't much of a choice!

Imagine my utter shock when I came into the Twelve Step rooms and heard I had choices! I was a married woman by that time, one who had gone along with what everyone else said about anything and everything, and the only choice I seemed to make was how much I'd binge that day, if I'd purge, or if I'd be anorexic. Even that choice wasn't in my hands, but in the hands of my disease.

In these recovery rooms I slowly learned about making choices and the responsibility that went with them. It's been a freedom. It's also allowed me to feel like an adult. As a young child I was put in the position of doing things only adults should be doing. So on one hand, I knew I had done things way before "my time." Yet I still felt immature and naive. Learning to make my own choices and decisions has helped me to feel more mature and confident.



One Day at a Time . . .
I will not fear making difficult decisions. I will remember I can use the principles of the program to help me make the proper choice.


~ Rhonda ~

January 28

~ SUCCESS ~

Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
Winston Churchill
(1874 – 1965) a highly decorated British politician who served as Prime Minister of the U.K.



My life before program consisted of one failure after the next. I could never master success with my eating, much less with my life in general.

Once I came into these rooms and started working the Twelve Steps, with a God of my understanding and the knowledge that God is in control of all in my life, I began to realize that life is NOT a series of failures, only slow successes.

One Day at a Time . . .
I am a success if I keep on trying regardless of the outcome, because it is truly God's will for me.


~ Linda K. ~

January 29

~ GRATITUDE ~

Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude.
Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness.
Thankfulness may consist merely of words.
Gratitude is shown in acts.

David O. McKay



All the good I have ever been given in life, both before recovery and in recovery, has come from God. Even the ability to learn lessons from the bad has been one of His many gifts to me. I make gratitude lists and offer prayers of thanksgiving, but that is only the beginning. I only express true gratitude by sharing with others. I share it as experience, strength and hope at meetings. I share it by reaching out my hand to the compulsive overeater behind me and sponsoring them or befriending them. I share it by living a life that shows evidence of the realization of all that God has given me. I can only truly express my gratitude through action.

One day at a time... I will show my true gratitude by giving away to others what God has so freely given to me.


~ Vicki B. ~

January 30

~ NEW BEGINNINGS ~

...To dry my eyes and laugh at a fall, and baffled, get up and start again...
Robert Browning
(1812– 1889) British poet and playwright



When things didn't go my way, I would stamp my feet, lose my temper, and walk away. I was the world's greatest quitter!

The Twelve Step program of recovery teaches me that when I trip over something, I can pick myself up, dust myself off, and start over at any time. I can turn whatever I stumble over into an opportunity for growing and learning.

One Day at a Time . . .
When confronted by roadblocks to my recovery, I can humble myself and ask my Higher Power, "What do YOU want for me to learn from this?" I can turn stumbling blocks into stepping stones and move on in my recovery journey.


~ Linda K. ~