May 16

The Fox without a Tail

One day a fox became caught in a trap. In his struggle to free himself, he left his tail behind. On his way home, he devised a way to head off being made the butt of jokes. He trotted back into the forest and called together all the foxes.

"Foxes are much more attractive when they do not have a tail," he said as he wiggled his stump. "Observe how sleek my appearance is. No longer will I have to pull burrs out of my tail. I am free – and you can all be free, too! It is time for all foxes to cut off their tails."

"Nonsense!" an elder fox yelled out. "If you had not lost your own tail, my friend, you would not be urging us to lose ours as well. You must deal with your loss on your own."

The Moral of the story: Do not trust all of the advice given by others.

Many in the program offer helpful support based on their experience. There are also those who give advice. Sometimes this advice is well-meaning and useful; other times it may seem suspect. Listen to the support, guidance, and advice you are given. But never let such information have a negative impact on your recovery.

I will listen to the advice I am given, but will make decisions that are right for me.

You are reading from the book:

Morning Light by Amy E. Dean

May 17

Nice guys finish last.
--Leo Durocher

Some of us are habitually victims, doormats, and "poor things." No matter what, we never say no. The more we practice being nice guys the less able we are to cope creatively. We place the blame, along with the responsibility, elsewhere.

Darlene modeled this for all of us at a recent meeting. She is well past fifty and has been divorced for twenty years. Yet she is still seeking sympathy for what her husband - and God -did to her. Twenty-five years ago she inherited fifty thousand dollars from her parents' estate. Bit by bit, as she said, her alcoholic husband spent it all. It wasn't that she gave it to him or failed to manage it herself, she explained. What happened was that he "just spent it all up. How could he do that?" The obvious, healthier question never occurred to her: How could she allow a sick person to eat up a small fortune?

The moral of the story is that being "too nice" isn't our problem.

Today, I will search my conscience for evidence of irresponsibility that I may have been filing under other names.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

May 18

. . . we have some unfinished business between us.

When we respond to the small signals that something is amiss, we prevent bigger problems. When we feel fear in our relationship, it signals that we have some unfinished business between us. When we ask the questions we have been avoiding, we create new possibilities for resolution. Our fear is a signal that something does not feel safe. If we tell ourselves that our fear is illogical and discount it, or if we overreact by totally pulling out of the situation, we miss opportunities to change it.

What a relief we feel as we make sense out of our fear and begin to talk with each other. We let go of secrets between us and work toward mutual understanding. As we communicate, the knot in our stomach loosens and light reappears in our relationship.

Name the signals your body gives you to indicate that something in your relationship needs attention.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

May 19

"You silly thing," said Fritz, my eldest son, sharply, "don't you know that we must not settle what God is to do for us? We must have patience and wait His time."
--Johann R. Wyss

The story of the shipwrecked Robinson family is a lesson in patience. It was years before their rescue. They didn't know what their fate would be on the unfamiliar island. Yet they survived every day by working together and keeping strong faith in a Power greater than themselves.

We are certainly far from the adversities faced by that family. But at times we may feel our lives would be better if our Higher Power would do what we wanted. How many times have we prayed as hard as we could for something we felt we needed?

Today might have been one of those days where we felt our prayers weren't answered. But we need to remember our prayers are heard. Now it is up to us to Let Go and Let God.

Have I tried to be in control of my Higher Power today? How can I Let Go and Let God?

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

May 20

He has served who now and then
Has helped along his fellowmen.
--Edgar A. Guest

It's hard to be interested in something that seems too remote. Sure, we're sorry for starving people in faraway places. And the TV news story about whole villages disappearing in an earthquake makes us feel terrible - until the next news story comes on. It doesn't mean we're bad people when we don't respond much to such tragedies. It only means they're not personal - and only the personal is real.

We care most about what we're involved in directly. If we're not personally involved, we're not very enthusiastic either. If we are the ones starting a new [12 Step] meeting, setting up the chairs, making the coffee, the success of that meeting means a lot to us. If our children are on drugs, we're not bored by city council meetings where new drug programs are discussed. It's our stake in something that makes it important.

The world doesn't need any more spectators. To feel more alive, we must be more alive. Caring is life and involvement is growth.

Today, I will not sit on the sidelines. I will act on behalf of a good cause that deserves my support.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

May 21

"The secret, kid," said the seal, bending toward him and speaking behind his flipper, "is to have a good compass and a following wind."
--Will Watkins – Sid Seal, Houseman

The secret, for us, is to never let our recovery become "dead in the water." We keep a good compass by working the Steps. Working the Steps tells us what we need to be doing and where we need to go in our recovery. Our sponsor helps us with this and helps us stay on course.

We also need the energy behind us to keep us from getting stalled out. We keep this energy – this "tailwind" – by making our program a way of life. The more we put ourselves in its path, the more the recovery wind keeps us moving. We stay in the path of this wind by going to meetings at least once a week and by using recovery tools as a matter of habit every day.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me remember that my spirituality has a lot to do with the way I use my life energy.

Today's Action

Are there days when I'd like to skip my reading, my prayer, my meetings, my conscious contact with my Higher Power? I will talk with my sponsor about a plan to get through this kind of day next time it comes up.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

May 22

Patience is needed with everyone, but first of all with ourselves.
--Saint Francis De Sales

One night Sandra was having trouble putting a puzzle together. Angrily, she pushed all the pieces into a huge pile.

"I can't do this," she said. She got up and walked over to the couch and plopped down.

"Let me tell you a story," said her dad, as he sat down next to her. "There was a daughter who helped her dad take care of her baby sister. Again and again, she helped her baby sister stand and try to walk. One day the daughter tried to put a puzzle together but gave up after only a few tries. She had forgotten how many times she had helped her baby sister."

We are all like Sandra, sometimes. We forget to allow ourselves to fail, even though our growth up to now has been a series of failures that we've learned from. With patience, we allow ourselves to take chances we might not otherwise explore, and we widen our world of possibilities. Life has been patient with us so far, now it's our turn.

What have I failed at that I can try again today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

May 23

To have one's individuality completely ignored is like being pushed quite out of life. Like being blown out as one blows out a light.
--Evelyn Scott

We need to know that we matter in this life. We need evidence that others are aware of our presence. And thus, we can be certain that others need the same attention from us. When we give it, we get it. So the giving of attention to another searching soul meets our own need for attention as well.

Respectful recognition of another's presence blesses that person, ourselves, and God. And we help one another grow, in important ways, each time we pay the compliment of acknowledgment.

We're not sure, on occasion, just what we have to offer our friends, families, co-workers. Why we are in certain circumstances may have us baffled, but it's quite probably that the people we associate with regularly need something we can give them; the reverse is just as likely. So we can begin with close attention to people in our path. It takes careful listening and close observation to sense the message another soul may be sending to our own.

I will be conscious of the people around me. I shall acknowledge them and be thankful for all they are offering me.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

May 24

Relaxing when things don't go as you planned.

So, the boyfriend calls, says he's going hiking with his buddies for a week, cancels his date with you and says he hopes you won't be mad.

Or the bank calls and says you're overdrawn, and you don't know how that can be. You've been trying to carefully watch your deposits and checks. You've gone out of your way not to mess up. This can't be right!

What do you do when life seems to force you to react? You can panic, become anxious, yell, and respond with a counterattack. But that probably won't solve the problem. And it may turn things into a brawl.

Or you can calm down. Breathe deeply. Tell yourself to relax. Say as little as possible, if that's possible, while you're upset and disturbed. If a problem or disturbance that's not fair interrupts your life, try responding by saying hmmm. Then calm down and decide what you need to do.

God, help me start sailing through life with more ease by learning to relax and let life be.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

May 25

Each morning sees some task begin,
Each evening sees it close;
Something attempted, something done,
Has earned a night's repose.
--Longfellow

Every day for us is a period of spiritual growth. Restful sleep prepares us for fruitful days. As each day begins, a new adventure in growth lies ahead. We seek strength and an attitude of making our lives more meaningful and positive through prayer and meditation at the start of each new day during our quiet time. We prepare ourselves emotionally for the busy hours ahead.

With positive action planned ahead, we arise to a day dedicated to accomplishment. We know we have little time for standing and idly staring. We accept new challenges as we carry out each day's plans. We encourage those around us to join us in seeking to see the best in everything that makes up our daily lives.

Restful sleep, meditation, planning, and "turning it over" starts my day with a quiet time and keeps it manageable.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

May 26

The best things in life are appreciated most after they have been lost.
--Roy L. Smith

Humankind has made such great technological progress, developing marvelous tools and instruments to make our life easier, that it is hard to imagine the struggles our ancestors endured. We are so used to these protective and labor-saving devices that we take them for granted. We fail to appreciate them.

So it is with our loved ones, our fellow workers, our friends, and acquaintances. We are so used to the help, the cooperation, the moral support, and the love we get from them that we may take them for granted. And then we wonder why our relationships don't always go smoothly. What if we were to show them a little appreciation? What if we were to ask God to bless them?

Today I will give thanks to my Higher Power for the people around me and tell them, one by one, how much I appreciate them.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

May 27

The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
--Eden Phillpotts

We hear others talk about how they got out of debt. We see people who have peace and serenity in their lives, who have healthy relationships and dream jobs. We realize that being debt-free means more than not having to pay as many bills. In others, we see what we have to look forward to by changing our behaviors. We get inspired and excited to be debt-free. We start working the program diligently, expecting to see miracles in our lives any minute but nothing happens.

We stop focusing on the outcome of our new ways and stay mindful of what we've committed to - no debting one day at a time. When we do this, we give energy to everything good. If we stop focusing on it, it will flow to us.

Today I will trust that when I act in a mindful and honorable way, everything good will follow.

You are reading from the book:

Letting Go of Debt by Karen Casanova

May 28

Thought for the week: Learn a new skill

It's an esteemable act to have the courage to learn something new.

Affirmations for the week:

I am willing to learn a new skill. This week, I will do something I'm not yet good at.

Esteemable actions for the week

Have you ever avoided doing something because it was too hard or too scary? Have you ever not learned a new skill because you were afraid you'd make a mistake or just look silly? If you're like most of us, you've been there - done that. And like many people, you've missed out on a great deal of fun and opportunity because you were afraid to learn something new.

Think of things you're good at. Now remember the first time you did that activity. I bet you weren't very good. Actually, if you're like me, you had to try, try, and try again before you got into the swing of things. Am I right? Yet it was the conscious, consistent practice of that new skill that ultimately made you proficient and confident that you could do it. Think about how good you felt when you finally got it right.

No question about it, learning a new skill is hard, it's scary, and at times it's embarrassing. In the past, each time I tried something new and didn't get it the first time, I wanted to give up. It felt like the end of my world. But I didn't give up. There are even days when I know what I'm doing and still feel like I'm off the beam. And on those days, I just don't give up.

Today I know whatever I'm experiencing is part of my learning process, whether it's using my computer or speaking in front of an audience. My job is to remain teachable.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

May 29

Using today's tools

Are we becoming stuck in the "if onlys"? "If only I had more money." "If only I were more attractive." "If only my parents had listened to Dr. Spock." The "if onlys" will get us nowhere. We would do better to think about what we have to work with today.

Do we remember that we are fortunate just to be alive? Are we grateful that, one day at a time, we are clean and sober? Do we keep in mind that we have at our disposal the Twelve Step program and all its tools? When we dwell in the "if onlys," we get stuck in yesterday. But what we have to work with today are "today's tools," and if we use them well, we'll have no need for the "if onlys."

Am I using the tools I have today?

God, help me to recognize today's tools and to become willing to use them.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

May 30

At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice.
--Maya Angelou

We had to surrender to a power greater than ourselves to get to where we are today. And each day, we have to turn to that power for strength and guidance. For us, resistance means struggle - struggle with others as well as an internal struggle.

Serenity isn't compatible with struggle. We cannot control forces outside of ourselves. We cannot control the actions of our family or our co-workers. We can control our responses to them. And when we choose to surrender our attempts to control, we will find peace and serenity.

That which we abhor, that which we fear, that which we wish to conquer seems suddenly to be gone when we decide to resist no more - to tackle it no more.

The realities of life come to us in mysterious ways. We fight so hard, only to learn that what we need will never be ours until the struggle is forsaken. Surrender brings enlightenment.

Life's lessons are simple once I give up the struggle.

The program is helping us restructure our lives. We discover that many former, automatic responses no longer fit who we desire to be. That means we have to try new, less-practiced behaviors, such as being honest without being harsh or critical.

Learning tenderness is possible. With the help of this program and one another, we are learning to express the acceptance and love that have been given to us by our Higher Power. Giving away what we have been given is sharing the truth absolutely.

I will not hurt anyone today by any comment. I will truthfully share the love and acceptance I have been given.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey