Alcoholism as a Manifestation of Allergy
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Thank you for sharing. I love things on the history of AA and how it began. This was dated 1937 and a lot of knowing had come and gone since, and a lot of people have their own preconceived ideas.
I always like the phrase, "Alcohol was my best friend until it became my worst enemy." I heard a Joe and Charlie tape that says, "We don't metabolize alcohol like other people do. It was my understanding, that a regular Joe can have a beer, it goes down, quickly makes it's way up and out and we are ready for another one. An alcoholic doesn't process the alcohol in the beer like the regular Joe. While his friend has whizzed his down the drain, the alcoholic still had a certain amount of the alcohol still in his system. It hasn't passed. When Mr. Joe has 4 beers, he is just feeling a little good. The alcoholic is feeling a lot good, because he probably has 6 beers at least in his system, and now he is ready to go and let's get at 'em. I understand what you mean, it is an inanimate object until such a time as I choose to pick it up and ingest it at some point. The bottle won't hurt me, but the longer it sits there, be it on the table, or in the cooler, or in the refrigerator, it grows in the alcoholic and addicts mind. We need a defense not against the beer, but the thinking that make me think that this one will be different. I will have a beer and no one will ever know. If it sits in our head, it will grow all out of proportion and as they say, me along with me is bad company. I can talk myself into anything. Especially that donut I know I shouldn't have, that Lottery Ticket I know I am just going to win and everything will be just fine. Anything that will take us out of where we don't want to be, alone with ourselves. My magic magnifying mind can conjure up the greatest scenarios. When we go to a meeting, what I like to think of as a God Village, where I can share my feelings. Hey guys and gals, I feel like drinking. Life isn't exactly like a bed for roses these days. When we share, we only have to take a portion of it home. It isn't my drinking and drug problems that I need to worry about in today, it is my thinking problems. I have to work on my emotional sobriety daily. What brought me to the doors of recovery will take me back out if I don't deal with it. We tend to minimize it, thinking it isn't important, but no matte what it is, if it was traumatic to us, we need to deal with the emotions. I have to feel the feeling in order to let them go. Many people may slip (Sobriety Loses It's Priority) mentally, emotionally, and spiritually before we physically pick up. That is why I need that spiritual defense against that first drug, no matter what form it take, substitution doesn't work. It just leads you back to your drug of choice or you end up with two addictions. That is why I am glad it is just one day at a time and I have to practice, practice, practice, and it is just one days feeling, thoughts, actions, experiences, disappointments, rejection, resentments, and the list goes on and on. |
Well for one thing, I figure an alcoholic is an alcoholic. Some go down to the dump and some if they are lucky, get off early before they get there. Being a little bit alcoholic is like being a little bit pregnant.
If you try to analyze the program, you are sure to find fault if you go looking for them. After all it was 1934 and this is 2017, and we alcoholics in today l know better than the alkies back then. We not only drink, but we do pot and pill maintenance, and then if that stops working we go onto bigger stuff and play with the big boys. It doesn't matter that they die a little faster these days, we can't give them something to believe in and they can't believe in themselves. It is really sad when we compare instead of identify. It kept me sick for a long time. People told me, if I drank like you did, I would still be drinking. Another favorite was, "I spilled more than you drank." This past week from my son, "Mother in all my years (51) I have never seen anyone who could drink like you could. He said he never saw me drunk. Which means, he never saw me sober. Pills were like dried up alcohol for me. I had to recognize that I had both in my system. Even in the early days, I took 2 - 222 tablets with my last drink so I wouldn't wake up with a hang over. We all have our own story and our own walk. It doesn't matter what Bill did, he got this program started. He didn't have all the ESH that we have in today. So what he asked for a drink on his death bed. What does an alcoholic do to take away the pain. He drinks. If he follows Bill's and Dr. Bob's program, and take from them what we need to make our own program, we don't have to drink and drug in today. The program is not the Big Book. It is but a guide line, for me, I got more help in my recovery from the 12 & 12. but that is me. I am not a Big Book thumper, for me it is good for identification. Two long timers who go to my AA group, one has 23 years and the other 43 years and they say, "The program is one alcoholic talking to another alcoholic." We know a lot more now in today, and yet we still drink, or at least I use to. I am grateful that on August 21st I will be 26 years clean and sober. I will celebrate in AA on the 24th of August and in NA on the 25th of August. I always knew I was an addict, my drug of choice was always more. My denial was about being an alcoholic, so that is why I went to AA. It took me two years in AA, not drinking, but going to meetings to get Step One 100% I had a dream and saw myself as other people saw me when I was drinking. I wasn't exactly the lady I thought myself to be. I used alcohol like I used other people, places and things. When I share my story at a meeting, I always say, "Hi my name is JoAnne, and I am an alcoholic. My drug of choice is more and besides alcoholic I was addicted to men, pills, men, food, men, work, met, etc. I don't have a drinking problem in today. But I sure do have a thinking problem especially when I think I am the power and the source. For me it is to be willing to be willing, to get what ever I need to stay sober in today. For me to use is to die, whether it is alcohol or say cigarettes which would kill me faster. Thanks for sharing with me. |
Bill's disease is why Al-Anon was established. Lois had to learn to live with Bill and his disease or leave him. She chose to stay.
I am just glad that Bill lived and stayed sober long enough to start the program with Dr. Bob who was addicted to pills, to start the program and write the Big Book with 100 other people. There were very few women back then, they didn't believe a woman could be an alcoholic unless she was a rubbie. Even if she was, it was up to her to decide if she qualified for the program. We are an alcoholic or a drug addict when we say we are. Many take people's inventory, I had a sponsee who first went in her teens. She qualified but few believed her. She went back out and came back later, still she felt that people judged her. She got drunk on half a beer. She didn't stop there though. A good friend of mine got drunk on 2 beers. She was still running around and being her obnoxious self at 20 beers and she would say, "OK Kitchen, how are your darts today?" She would never play sober. We often played darts with our husbands, and my hubby and I won 3 out of 5 times. It was ironic, i figured my hubby was drunk and didn't really want to play with him and figured I was sober, and yet I matched him drink for drink. God help his soul if he had a drink and didn't buy me one. If someone bought him a drink, it was his duty to buy me one. He had the problem after all, not me. I'm not an alcoholic. LOL! |
This was posted in AA Thought for the day on June 21st.
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I knew I didn't want to drink, but didn't want to wear the label alcoholic. For many years, I started saying, "I have a desire not to drink today. " Quoting the 3rd Tradition.
It was my own denial. I was told to keep coming back and I did. I agree, she was sharing her ESH with others, that is all any of us can do. No one is a leading authority on anything. As a long time member and I agreed, the longer I am in the program, the less I know. |
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