Today's Thought - February
 

February 1

Action carries us in the direction we choose.

Recovery involves doing - going to meetings working our program, reaching out to others. We don't get a job by sitting at home thinking about it, and we don't get a degree by looking at college catalogs.

It's true that we need to reflect; we need quiet times when we pray for guidance. There comes a point, however, when action is called for, when we use the power we are given to carry out our Higher Power's will for our lives to the best of our understanding.

One action leads to another. Doing what we need to do to be abstinent today adds 24 hours to recovery.

Today, I will act on my best understanding of my Higher Power's will or me.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

February 2

Search out shortcomings and correct them.
--Anonymous

One of the hardest things to do is to look at our own shortcomings when we are angry at someone. It seems impossible to believe at such times that something may be wrong with us. This is the reason we are so often instructed to count to ten. When we find ourselves so out of sorts, so internally disrupted, there is usually something wrong with us.

It is our first obligation to take care of ourselves. It is out of love for ourselves that we withdraw and take a spot check inventory. The spot check inventory does not demean or humiliate us. On the contrary, the purpose is to speak with God briefly, check our vital signs, and clean out our connections.

I always need my connection with God. Nothing works without a clear, clean, strong, conscious contact with my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

February 3

Did you ever get a punch card from a coffee shop? If you buy nine coffees, you get the tenth free. Even though you're not paying for it, you know this purchase isn't free. The price was factored into earlier purchases. But still, getting something free is sweet. We feel like we deserve what's handed to us.

Have you ever had the experience of moving into an apartment or house, and even though it looked okay, the decorating wasn't yours? I've got to do something to make this mine, you think, even if it's just painting a wall.

Many things in life are like that. They don't feel like ours and we don't feel like we deserve them until we put time and effort into them. Then we feel like they belong to us.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, there are no dues, or fees. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stay sober. But we do certain things. We work the Steps. We go to meetings. We work with other alcoholics. And although our sobriety is a gift from God, we begin to feel like we deserve sobriety by working to make it ours.

Most of us like the concept of getting something for free. But little in life can compare to feeling like we deserve what we've earned.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

February 4

Reflection for the Day

Today I'll try to settle for less than I wish were possible, and be willing to not only accept it but to appreciate it. Today, I'll not expect too much of anyone - especially myself. I'll try to remember that contentment comes from gratefully accepting the good that comes to us, and not from being furious at life because it's not "better." Do I realize the difference between resignation and realistic acceptance?

Today I Pray

May I not set my sights unrealistically high, expect too much. May I look backwards long enough to see that my self-set, impossible goals were the trappings of my addiction; too often I ended up halfway there, confronted by my own failure. Those "foiled-again," "I've-failed-again" feelings became monumental excuses to give in to my compulsion, which blanketed my miseries. May I avoid that sick old pattern. May I be realistic.

Today I Will Remember

Good is good enough.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

February 5

When I am lonely, I try to think of angels.
--Betty MacDonald

We need comfort when we feel lonely. Loneliness is often coupled with fear. We wonder, Can I handle what faces me today? Often we think we can't. But we don't ever have to face any situation alone, or handle any painful relationship in isolation. The "angels" who guide and protect us are as close as our thoughts.

Twelve Step programs give us the freedom to define our Higher Power in any way that suits us. Believing our Higher Power is an angel satisfies our need to have someone watching over us, protecting us wherever we are, loving us despite our failings.

We are nurtured or harmed by the thoughts we carry in our minds. Imagining an angel or a ring of angels to walk us through each day relieves our loneliness and dissipates our fears.

I have a friend in my Higher Power. We'll be together throughout this day.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

February 6

Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a man deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.
--Thomas Merton

The surest way to unhappiness is to concentrate only on ourselves. Nothing will bring on despair quicker than thinking only of our own concerns. Extreme self-centeredness brings alienation from God, from our friends, and loved ones.

The surest remedy is to pray, not for our own comfort, but for God to bless someone else. If self-centeredness is contributing to our unhappiness, focusing some attention on others is the way out. We always get help for the blues by offering a hand to another or accepting a hand ourselves.

I can avoid despair by looking beyond myself.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

February 7

In music, in the sea, in a flower, in a leaf, in an act of kindness... I see what people call God in all these things.
--Pablo Casals

The Third Step refers to "God as we understood Him." The pathways to meeting our Higher Power and to our spiritual awakening are all around. Every tree and every leaf on every tree, as it rustles in the wind, expresses God in our lives. When the little bird flies overhead or when it comes to visit the feeder, we are being visited by a spirit. When the sky boils with a storm, when lightning and thunder crash, we are witness to power greater than ourselves with a history beyond the centuries. The beautiful works of art created by our fellow human travelers on this journey through life are expressions of their courage to reach out and create something. A line of music moves us and we feel the spirit.

A child makes a drawing and gives it away. A neighbor helps you start your car. You treat the clerk at the checkout counter like a real person. Whatever word we use for God, if we decide to be open and receptive, we find God in the little details of our lives. Spiritual awakening is a wonderful daily occurrence.

God, open my senses to take in your presence more fully.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

February 8

Disappointment and Frustration

Many of us, whether we are conscious of it or not, create much of the unhappiness we experience. Our disappointments are the result of our own negative or limited thoughts about ourselves and our world. What are some of those limiting thoughts, those subconscious beliefs, which keep us from experiencing joy and wholeness?

One of those beliefs is that we cannot be fulfilled unless we are loved and accepted by those who are the victims of our past experiences, that we are too old or too set in our ways to change. Still another false idea is, "It's a catastrophe if things don't go my way!" Then, too, there's the self-defeating attitude that to love is to lose, so "I'd better prepare for the worst to happen because it will."

Two more irrational beliefs are, "I have no control over my happiness and I want life to be easy and without hassles; therefore, I'll avoid discomfort or any new commitments."

TODAY I will see each disappointment in my life as a challenge to discover the negative or limited beliefs which keep me from seeing myself as a person of unlimited resources and potential.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

February 9

Coping with Families

There are many paths to self-care with families. Some people choose to sever connections with family members for a period of time. Some people choose to stay connected with family members and learn different behaviors. Some disconnect for a time, and then return slowly on a different basis.

There is no one or perfect way to deal with members of our family in recovery. It is up to each of us to choose a path that suits us and our needs at each point in time.

The idea that is new to us in recovery is that we can choose. We can set the boundaries we need to set with family members. We can choose a path that works for us, without guilt and obligation or undue influence from any source, including recovery professionals.

Our goal is to detach in love with family members. Our goal is to be able to take care of ourselves, love ourselves, and live healthy lives despite what family members do or don't do. We decide what boundaries or decisions are necessary to do this.

It's okay to say no to our families when that is what we want. It's okay to say yes to our families if that feels right. It's okay to call time out and it's okay to go back as a different person.

God, help me choose the path that is right for me with family. Help me understand there is no right or wrong in this process. Help me strive for forgiveness and learn to detach with love, whenever possible. I understand that this never implies that I have to forfeit self-care and health for the good of the system.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

February 10

If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living.
--Seneca

A panic attack is feeling a sudden burst of anxiety and fear for no reason. We all experience anxiety from time to time but it can usually be traced to a cause. A true panic attack happens out of the blue.

Once we may have reacted to panic attacks by getting high and running from them. Then we'd come down and the whole cycle would start over.

Now we don't have to react this way. We can recognize panic attacks for what they are, isolated happenings that will pass. We can also get help from friends, counselors, and sponsors.

Today, we are not alone in our fear. We have hope.

Today let remember not to panic.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

February 11

Do, or do not. There is no "try."
--Yoda, in The Empire Strikes Back

Trying is what we do when we aren't willing to make a commitment. We say, "I'll try," when our heart isn't ready to give a full effort. It's what we say when we can't admit that our resolve is wimpy. And it's the lie that will defeat us.

Some challenges we face can't be conquered simply by saying, "I will do it." But we can choose to do something that will help. We can't move the mountain but we can pick up some rocks. We can engage with the problem and get to know it better. Every action we take leads somewhere and sets us up for the next action. We even learn from our mistakes and that moves us closer to achieving our goal.

Today I will not just "try"; I will do something to move toward my goal.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

February 12

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.
--Herbert Otto

The rewards of our new life are apparent to us because of how we feel, and apparent to others by what they can see. Many of us had reached our bottom point, and we felt there was no risk in trying a program of recovery. Yet, we still had some distorted security in our harmful ways of relating to others or in our addictions. Letting go was an experiment. This program gives us guidelines for experimenting with our life for growth, and we continue growing every day.

Some of our benefits are increased confidence and self-respect, more intimacy with our partner, better friendships, and better physical health. We feel these changes in ourselves, and we see them in the other men and women in this program.

Today, I am grateful for the rewards in my life from this experiment in recovery.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

February 13

Ordinary moments ... they in turn enrich our lives

Our spiritual life is on the same plane as our everyday relationships. It's not just something within our mind or feelings, and it's not just lofty and in the clouds. Spirituality is between people and in all relationships. Its growth depends on the way we relate to each other as intimate partners. We find it in our relationship to ordinary things like the bread we eat and the water we drink. Spirituality is found in the ways we honor our body with food and touch, work and rest, and in the ways we honor each other.

We jointly extend our spirituality through relationships with others. As we become friends with others or as we welcome people into our home, we receive them with hospitality because God is found in each of them. When we reach out to others or receive them as guests, they in turn enrich and bless our lives. This spiritual practice of hospitality has ancient roots all over the world. It teaches us to relate with generous hospitality to all guests who appear at our door.

Do something generous for someone today.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

February 14

The more you love, the more love you are given to love with.
--Lucien Price

With love comes promises of sentiment as rapturous as fall's splendor of color and as delicate as a crystal of snow. Love empowers us to handle the struggles that bind us, the struggles that stretch us to grow. The familiar sights and muffled sounds of each moment vibrate with greater intensity when we're giving and receiving love.

We're deluded to think the love of others will complete us, so we strive for it; we long for it. But we receive love only when we're unselfishly offering it. It is one of life's wonderful mysteries that we must first give love away if we hope to get it.

Loving another tests our patience, strength, and security. Love spurned is dreaded and perhaps too familiar, but we must risk it once again if we are to find the love we deserve.

The gifts of love are many and guaranteed when the act of love is honest, unselfish, whole, and unconditionally offered.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

February 15

I didn't really have a plan for a career, but I learned how to run our business quite successfully one day at a time.
--Joann Reed

Whether we have a specific plan for how we anticipate our lives unfolding or we react to opportunities spontaneously, we have to take whatever comes in small increments anyway. Life only happens a day at a time, regardless of who we are. Being "leveled" in this way is good for one's humility. It's also a relief to many of us. Living way into the future prevents us from appreciating whatever is happening at this moment.

There can be joyful excitement in the decision to squeeze the thrill out of every minute that comes to us. If we are practiced in living just one day at a time, we'll not find this difficult. But many of us get caught in the struggle to control outcomes, circumstances, and people far into the future. Living a day at a time can feel like taking a giant step backward.

With practice, we'll realize that living more slowly actually extends our lives because we're able to truly experience each of the moments. Learning this, at any age, is a gift. Let's rejoice in it.

Today offers me twenty-four hours of moments to be appreciated. I will do my best to love them.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

February 16

Without work all life goes rotten.
-- Albert Camus

Most would not think of work as a prize. That is often due to the concept we have of work.

Work can be that of an artist, the work of creation. Such work is not the response to a whistle or the boring activity that follows a punched time card. Creative work is the fullest human expression of being alive. It comes from the inside out and has no boss other than an inner demand to create a thing of beauty that previously did not exist.

The primary task of human beings is to creatively work at making our lives a remarkable thing of beauty. Whether we be butcher, baker, or candlestick maker there is always the opportunity to make a truly creative effort of a life's work by pounding out our dents and polishing that which is already beautiful. When we understand that life is the medium and we are the canvas, our efforts to improve become an exciting challenge rather than a boring task.

I am grateful to have the opportunity and the strength to work. I will not resent my job.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

February 17

I wish to live without hate, whim, jealousy, envy, and fear. I wish to be simple, honest, frank, natural, clean in mind and clean in body. . . to face any obstacle and meet every difficulty unabashed and unafraid.
--Elbert Hubbard

Growing up, we learned there were many places to make wishes: the first star, a well, candles on a birthday cake. We saw Dorothy return from Oz after she wished she were back home. Fairy tales taught us wishes can come true.

We don't have to stop wishing, even though many of our wishes never came true. We may have wished for the impossible when we said, "I wish things would get better at home." But we may have gotten our way when we said, "I wish this pain would end." Our dreams came true with the program.

Our best wishes can be about ourselves and the lives we want to have. We can wish for riches and find friends with hearts of gold. We can wish for comfort and health, and get a night of uninterrupted sleep. Whatever we wish for, we can receive.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

February 18

Separateness

Moving into wise and spiritual adulthood...

At our worst we may be alert to what we want from our partner but blind to what our own role requires. No doubt we can always find accurate criticisms of our mate. In all lasting relationships we will find the weaknesses and the unattractive sides of even the finest people. Finding them in our partner means little when our hope is for a good and successful partnership.

We each walk an individual path. No one else can take our footsteps. No one but us can live our unique life stories. That is the hard truth that adults have to face and children do not. The joys and pleasures of adult intimacy grow when we know our separateness. We will always yearn for a past childhood or for an unfulfilled dream enveloped in the generous care of loving parents with no stress and no demands. But as adults we live in an insecure world, and no partner can ever create that security for us. We move into wise and spiritual adulthood when we expect imperfection around us and develop a core of inner peace.

Describe a dream of peace and security that you keep in your memory or in your imagination.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

February 19

The twilight, in fact, had several stages, and several times after it had grown dusky, acquired a new transparency, and the trees on the hillsides were lit up again.
--Henry David Thoreau

There are small candles of light we can bring into our lives to take away some of the darkness. These are the candles of the program - soft, warm lights given to us each time we open our faith and trust to the fellowship.

There is the candle we can take home from a meeting, kindled by the caring and sharing of those around us. There is the candle given to us by our sponsors and friends, which burns brighter each time we ask for help. And there is the candle given to us by our Higher Power - an eternal light reflecting strength, hope, and salvation.

It's true that it's darkest before the dawn, but we have countless candles to brighten our night.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

February 20

Leave room for God to surprise you!
--Ernie K.

It is human to be disappointed when we don't get what we want. But when we dwell on our disappointment, as if we should have gotten what we wanted, then we forget to trust that God may have something different in store for us. Many of us pray, "Thy will be done," but more often than not, when we don't get what we want, we forget it may be God's will that we not get it!

We can only know the present moment. This is our life – all of it. When we worry about future wants and past disappointments, we don't leave room in ourselves for the present. When we let God take care of the future and live the best we can right now , we can feel assured we'll be ready for the better things that are in store for us.

Today help me to trust in Your will.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

February 21

Think in terms of depletion, not depression. . . . You can understand how a body can replenish itself, whereas it may be difficult to understand the way out of depression.
--Claire Weekes

Despair and depression may come over us suddenly, for no reason we can figure out. But if we stop and reflect, we may realize we are reacting to too much of something - too much work, too much excitement, too much fun. We may be having a letdown after holidays, after completing a project, or at the end of a school year.

When we feel a letdown coming on, we must give ourselves time. We need to take some time off and do nothing, plan nothing. Then we can ask God to help us let go of the negative feelings that come along with a letdown. We can plan a small gift for ourselves - a walk by the lake, for instance. In our excitement with a rush of events, we often forget that we, like the infants we once were, need to take a rest and reenergize.

Do I need to do something just for myself today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

February 22

Keeping our motives honest

Motives are important in dealing with other people. If we're frank with someone and that person gets upset, we might think he or she just can't handle our directness, our honesty. But "honesty" without love is more like brutal frankness. If we want to be confrontational, we have to put up with the consequences.

But what is the real reason for being confrontational ("honest"), for pointing out others' flaws? Are we perhaps afraid that our own flaws will be discovered? Are we protecting ourselves by focusing attention on others?

Are my motives always honest?

Higher Power, help me see where my motives are selfish or mean or petty, so that I stay honest in my program.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

February 23

There are sounds to seasons. There are sounds to places, and there are sounds to every time in one's life.
--Alison Wyrley Birch

Live is rich and full. Your life. My life. Even when the day feels flat or hollow, there's a richness to it that escapes our attention. We see only what we choose to see. We hear selectively, too. Our prejudgment precludes our getting the full effects of any experience. Some days we hear only the drum of the humdrum.

But the greater our faith in the program and a loving God, the clearer our perceptions become. We miss less of the day's events; we grow in our understanding of our unfolding, and we perceive with clarity the role others are playing in our lives.

We can see life as a concert in progress when we transcend our own narrow scope and appreciate the variety of people and situations all directed toward the same finale. The more we're in tune with the spiritual activity surrounding us, the more harmoniously we will be able to perform our parts.

I will listen to the music of today. I will get in tune, in rhythm. I am needed for the concert's beauty.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

February 24

Second Thoughts

After an intense discussion, we might rehash what we said and wish we'd said something else. Perhaps some brilliant remark occurs to us long after the conversation has ended.

We can say only what comes to us at the time of the discussion. Our best preparation for any such discussion – however important – is to place the matter in God's hands, seeking the highest good for everyone involved.

It may be that the brilliant thoughts coming to us later would have actually been inappropriate. After all, important discussions also involve exchanges of strong feelings that influence the meeting. If our feelings are in line with the high principles of the program, the discussion should go well. In such cases, we will probably say what we're supposed to say.

I'll do my best today, without trying to second-guess every word or action.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

February 25

Having hope makes every day easier, more gentle.

From our first introduction to other men and women who have faced firsthand the illness of chemical dependency, we sense the spirit of hope in their words and in their faces. Some of us have had little or no hope for many years. It's no wonder we initially doubt that our lives can change. We're certain our struggles are different from the struggles that brought other people to this Twelve Step program. But we listen to their stories anyway. And slowly we learn that our paths are similar. Our problems are not unique, after all.

Having hope, we come to understand, is a decision. Other men and women have made this decision. We can too. In time we will also understand that hope makes it possible for us to expect more positive outcomes to our problems. It's so often true that what we expect is just what we get. Looking on the bright side of life can't make our struggles worse!

Having hope will open the door to my Higher Power today. Help is the by-product of hope.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

February 26

There is no shortcut to life. To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned.
--Harrison E. Salisbury

There are no perfect days. We have struggled hard against this truth. In our demanding ways, we haven't wanted life to be a process; we have wanted to reach a secure point of arrival. We have struggled against the dialogue and learning process of experience. We've looked for a "fix" and for perfection. Even now in recovery we long to "get it right." We continue to learn and to grow, but the lessons we learn are not the things we expected. We grieve the lateness of our learning, and then we go on to learn more.

As we grow in this program, we learn how to learn. We become more accepting of life as a process with no shortcut to the truth. We learn to engage in the process and accept that there usually is no right or wrong answer at the end of our search.

Today, may I accept the truth, which comes from the lessons of my experience -- and be tolerant of its incompleteness.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

February 27

We don't need crutches.

We are unique and wonderful people. We have weaknesses, yes, and we also have strengths beyond our imagining.

Perhaps we needed a crutch at one time. We got used to it, and even though it was in our way and slowed us down, we were afraid to venture forth without it. Gradually, the crutch began to control our movements and take over our life. We became its slave.

Then we were invited to consider the possibility of a Higher Power that would eliminate our need for a crutch. Intrigued, we began to practice relying on this Higher Power in concrete ways on a daily basis.

We are learning how to walk again. Scary sometimes, without the old props, but Step by Step we're on our way to recovery.

Just for today, I will put away the crutches I no longer need and rely on my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

February 28

Reflection for the Day

"What if..." How often we hear these words from newcomers to The Program. How often, in fact, we tend to say them ourselves. "What if I lose my job?" "What if my car breaks down?" "What if I get sick and can't work?" "What if my child gets hooked on drugs?" What if -- anything our desperate imaginings can project. Only two small words, yet how heavy-laden they are with dread, fear and anxiety. The answer to "What if . . ." is, plainly and simply, "Don't project." We can only live with our problems as they arise, living one day at a time. Am I keeping my thoughts positive?

Today I Pray

May I grow spiritually, without being held back by anxieties. May projected fears not hobble my pursuits or keep me from making the most of today. May I turn out fear by faith. If I will only make a place for God within me, God will remove my fears.

Today I Will Remember

I can only borrow trouble at high interest rates.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

February 29

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.
--Faith Baldwin

We are learning as we go, and the experiences shed light on our own plans for proceeding. The steps we are taking in unison as well as on separate but parallel paths enhance the particular movements of us all.

We often expect perfection from ourselves, forgetting that we're all beginners in life. The best we can do is willingly acknowledge our errors, grateful that we can always begin again on any task - grateful that we have the experiences of others to help guide us.

Life is process. We learn, we grow, share burdens, reformulate ideas, and restructure our values. Every change we make alters the steps we take, altering in turn someone else's movements, too.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg