Working the Program
 

This could have been posted this any where under any fellowship, but the 12 Steps I realized are a common denominator. It doesn't matter how we have experienced alcohol, it has affected just about all of us. With NA and Nar-Anon, it may not have been alcohol, but they often either start there and go onto other things or try to taper off their drug of choice by using alcohol.

I am powerless over alcohol, I need to get honest and surrender to the program. I need to find a Higher Power that works for me. I need to build trust and a relationship with this Source of Power that can do for me, what I can't do for myself. Then I have to decide whether I am going to stay or go back out. I have to decide to put my life into the care of the God of my understanding. I had to learn to trust the program and see that it could work for me.

It is about recognizing that this is a family disease, that all members need the application of the 12 Steps to heal mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

They work if I work for them. I have a right to exercise my judgment, change my mind, look at life from a new perspective, and allow myself to be my own person.

This was my experience, strength and hope posted on another site. When you read my posts, that over the last 21 years, I have gone to AA, NA, CA, Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, ACoA, Women for Sobriety, SOS (on line when I sponsored an athiest) and CoDA. They say, do what ever it takes for your sobriety. I never went to Overeaters Anonymous or Emotions Anonymous (have papers for their program), but I had a sponsor who had been a member of both. On top of that I went for outside counselling for about 6 years, off and on to deal with certain issues. The last was for Sexual Abuse counselling at 15 years sober. I thought I had dealt with it all when doing my 4th and 5th, but the last relationship, triggered a lot of old feelings, so I had to deal with them and I chose an outside source.

No matter where I went, AA has always been my base. The common denominator is AA's 12 Steps and Traditions. The substance isn't the problem, recovery is an inside job, it starts with me.

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Pages 63 and 64 in the 12 and 12. This is step 6. I asked myself at the beginning of this step..Do I want to change, to grow as a person or do I want to hang onto these things for the rest of my life, crippling my growth? Step six says" Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." Posted by Schell

Change has been one thing that is constant in my recovery, and yet ironically, the same sponsor through out my recovery hasn't happened. I have been fired, I have been taken back on, at my request. I have had an AA, NA, and Al-Anon sponsor, I have had an AA, and an AA co-Sponsor, a Native American woman I was working with at the time, different combinations, my second Al-Anon sponsor passed away on Monday. My 1st Al-Anon sponsor and I were co-sponsoring each other when she passed away. When I asked the sponsor who passed away to go through the Blue Prints to Progress by Al-Anon and she dropped me as a sponsor. She said she had nothing to give me. I had trouble understanding it. We had about the same time in the fellowship, we had both come from abusive marriages and we both had sons who were addicts. She told me that every time I shared at a meeting, her mouth was opened in awe with what I shared, and I couldn't understand this because we both had about the same amount of time in the program. I wish we could have shared more, she passed away about two years ago.

Quote:
My life is none of my business. I just suit up, show up; be an example of AA and leave the rest to God. - Sharon B.

Alkiespeaks
Was told this by my spiritual advisor many years ago. Suit up, show up, and the rest will follow. If you have recovery, show it. Clean up your mouth, clean up your mouth, clean up your act, work the steps, and before you know it, you will see God working in your life.


Quote:
My life is none of my business. I just suit up, show up; be an example of AA and leave the rest to God. - Sharon B.

Alkiespeaks

Was told this by my spiritual adviser many years ago. Suit up, show up, and the rest will follow. If you have recovery, show it. Clean up your mouth, clean up your mouth, clean up your act, work the steps, and before you know it, you will see God working in your life.

Walk Softly and carry a Big Book - Quote:

Encouragement from an old-timer can turn a newcomer's life around.

I was told to stick with the old-timers. I said, "Where do you find them. I had trouble finding the women, unless you went to their group, and you knew what group they belong to, you were out of luck. I was fortunate, back then I was able to travel and went from one end of the city to the other. I said, "God you protect me in the day, so I need you to protect me in the night. I need to go out to these meetings. Please take away the fear, lead, guide and protect in all things, Amen. In the 12 years all I met up with was a drunk passed out between the apartment doors in my building. I learned to walk tall with confidence, be my own person, own my own space, and walked like I had a right to be there and knew were I was going, to an AA meeting and no one was going to stand in my way. A little faith will take you a long way.

Quote:
God would give me just enough light for the step I am on...that I would learn to walk by faith.

I read this quote on another site. I had never heard it put this way before. I found it to be very empowering. When I am stuck, I know I can surrender in the moment, accept what is in the moment, and ask for help and it will be given to me.

It is my personal belief that the Light comes in at the point of surrender. I can't, God can, and I have to ask for His help. I have to follow it up with action.

Surrender is a Principle of Step One for me. God brought me here, and gives me the tools to stay here, one day at a time.

It goes hand in hand with honesty and acceptance.

Quote:
"Step One is the base of the pyramid of the rest of the alcoholic's life" - unknown

Quote:
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Don't try to be normal; try to be healthy.

Normal is what is normal for me, and that isn't always healthy.

When I compare myself to others, I stay sick. It is not healthy to think of myself better or worse than someone else. I need to be me. This is a program of reflections. If I see something in someone that I don't like, then I need to look within myself to see the root of the problem.

Quote:
Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I know that I can get through anything that happens in this day with the help of my Higher Power.

No matter what is uncovered, experienced, addressed, thought, etc. My God will see me through it, direct me, and give me the courage, strength and knowing that I need in today. All I have to do is put myself in my HP's Care.

I had to make my relationship with my Higher Power. I had to build a relationship with Him/Her. Using the Eleventh Step made that possible.

It is a one day at a time, and I have found that I always need a few Steps to get through a day, some days, all 12.

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The Steps are in the order they are in for the best of all possible reasons— they work that way!

There is a divine logic in the order of the Twelve Steps. As we work each Step, we look deeper and deeper into ourselves (pealing that onion). It’s not possible to work Steps One through Twelve without experiencing a profound, positive change. This is why our predecessors insist on “writing & living” not just “doing” the Steps.

To try to work the Steps out of order is to fail. One cannot make a list of those one has harmed, for example, if one has not first taken a moral inventory. How can we do anything in a “searching and fearless” way until we have abandoned fear by turning our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power? The process can’t be hurried; there aren’t any shortcuts. Step Two follows Step One, and Step Tree follows Step Two, in a natural and important progression.

SITUATIONAL WORKSHEET
(Apply to any situation and watch how it works)

1.We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
· What symptom of your disease did you see? (Anger, pain, jealousy, abandonment, frustration, inadequacy)
·At what time did you perceive that your disease had control? (What were you thinking, physically doing, or feeling?)
The first step happens…

2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
· When did you “come to believe” before this situation? (Possibly a similar situation or just another situation that gave you the faith to continue on.)
· What is a power greater than self in this situation? (Is it a person, feeling, or…?)
· In coming to believe, acceptance is what happens. In accepting the situation and knowing that you do not need to stay there, balance is possible.
Sanity comes from balance
Now begins the action.

3.We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
· What is my will? (It is what I want to do.)
· What is my life? (It is everyday happenings that go on with my participation.)
· What are we going to turn over to the CARE OF GOD? (Symptoms that made your life unmanageable, i.e. anger, pain, jealousy, abandonment, frustration, inadequacy; See Step #1)

4.We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
An inventory is a look at what I am and am not willing to live with today. In an inventory we deal with: “What is bothering me in the here and now”? (See: Basic Text page 28.) Do not confuse an inventory with a biography.
· List your assets.
· How often have I placed myself or been placed in this position?
· When was the last time I was in this or a similar situation?
· What did I do then? What was the outcome?
Make a list answering the following two questions:
· What am I willing to live with?
· What am I not willing to live with?

Changing the pattern.
Actively making changes according to what you are and what you are not willing to live with. If you find in your list that you are not willing to have things continue as they have in the past and/or are continuing now, then you must make a physical, mental and spiritual change. This is done by making a commitment to what you are willing to do. Make a commitment to self and follow through all the way. Never do half the job. Become involved, be a part of – not a part from. Stand up for what you believe in. Do not compromise your principles. You are worthy!

5.We admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Call or go see your sponsor or sponsee. Talk with them about all the above and how you came to this point. In doing this, you allow another person the opportunity to get to know you. This allows them the opportunity to tell you what they hear you saying rather than you making a determination on your own as to what is or what is not. We don’t always give ourselves a break or sometimes we give ourselves too much of a break.

6. We were entirely read to have God remove all these defects of character.
We have character traits, and have determined in the third step which of those character traits we are ready to have removed by allowing God to hold onto them. This gives us an opportunity to make a searching and fearless moral inventory. We asked God to take these defective character traits that He has in His care and remove them permanently. In doing this we give up all rights to manipulate the situation – to change the outcome.

7. We humbly ask Him to remove our shortcomings.
· What are shortcomings? It is our will wanting to take over to do what we want when we know we can’t or shouldn’t. (Many times it is our desire to manipulate circumstances to have the outcome the way we want it.)
What is our footwork here? To make a conscious effort not to repeat previous actions such as acting out rage, cussing endlessly. To practice what we are willing to live with as seen in Step 4. We must do the footwork to oversee our actions. In order to make changes, we must participate. God isn’t going to do it for us. God simply gives us the courage, strength, and ability to change.

8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
· Who has been, will be, could be and/or is being harmed? (Self and other person(s) in the situation, and those surrounding the situation.)
After applying these principles to similar situations, this list will get shorter and shorter. The time will come when there is no need to make a list. You will be able to see where you are in a situation, stop before you get caught up in your disease, and harm yourself and/or others. You will just need to look at everyone involved in the situation to determine who or what could be at risk.

9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
· How do you make amends to yourself, others and those who are no longer here?
For yourself: - FORGIVE YOURSELF AND CHANGE THE PATTERN! For those on your list – you must determine if it is ego or humility that motivates your amends. “I’m sorry” just isn’t enough.
· Why do you want to make amends to these people?
Remember that people are just that – people. They too are living according to how they believe and their own values.

10. We continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Stay in the “right now.” Look at your part in the situation and what part you played in it.
· What was your part in the situation?
· Did you abuse, use or justify anything?
· Did you overcome your shortcomings and not repeat past reactions and/or behaviors?
· What have you been doing in the last few hours?
· Are you pleased with your actions and/or reactions?

11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
In a situation when looking at the process, ask God to give you guidance in doing His will. Talk to God about all areas and be real honest with self-assessment. If you’re not honest with others, be honest with self so that you can remain a channel of God’s will.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
What is a spiritual awakening? It is what you have realized in working through this situation. It is an understanding or realization of a new way to live, a new way of feeling about self and those surrounding self. We have the opportunity to change, to grow, and gain the ability to become happy, joyous and free. Spiritual awakenings are a result of applying these (not step #1, step #2, or step #3) principles to EVERY situation in our lives.

The Basic Text states at the beginning of How It Works: “If you want what we have to offer and are willing to make the effort to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps. These are the principles that made our recovery possible.”

A member received this from her sponsor many years ago. They are indeed a living thing. I need to take the words off the pages of the book and apply them to my life.

For me it is about living the spiritual principles of the Steps. I did the paperwork for Step Four, using the Big Book guide and shared it with my sponsor. I did ongoing work with Counsellors to deal with issues that came up as a result of getting honest.

I did do the Step One guide posted in the NA column, and I believe it is my program and my understanding of God, yet my sponsors have guided me along the way.

My co-sponsor in early recovery said, "You have your own answers within." My reply was, "Yes, but I don't know the quesitons." She did help me, but on the whole I was left until I was willing to look at something and then she was there to guide me, or redirect me if she saw me heading in an unhealthy way. Sometimes I took her suggestions, other times I didn't, but I always valued her feedback. I can remember calling my sponsor on many occasions and saying, "I need to discuss Step Six tonight my defects of character were glaringly apparent today. For me, the steps aren't a one time deal and done. This is a living program, which I work into my life, one day at a time as the need arises. Sometimes I procrastinate and hold onto things too long, but eventually, the pain and new awareness, invites me to open the doors to the tool chest and make changes in attitude which generally brings about action.

For me, it was important to do my steps with another person. I don't have a drinking and drugging problem in today, but I still can go back into the old way of thinking. I know when I am in addictive and codependent behavior, and if I am alone with me, then I have no one to disagree with. This is a disease of perception as well as denial. I have always need a sponsor, a good trusted friend, or a counsellor to bounce things off of.

We certainly need to do the steps because what brought us here will take us back out if we don't make some changes in our life. That is what the Steps mean to me. Looking at me and taking an inventory of what is good and what is no longer good for me in recovery. What use to work, often doesn't work now. I hear so many people say, well I have been doing this for years and I'm not about to change now.

Someone with this attitude is often a dry drunk. I agree, doing it alone didn't get me very far. I could stop, but couldn't stay stopped. It wasn't until I worked the program that I could stay clean and sober.

Posted in 2005 and 2007 on another site.

I no longer have an AA sponsor, although I can call the lady who was my first sponsor, who fired me, I asked to go back to her, then I fired her, and then we got to a place, where we could talk together when we felt like we needed a connection. I no longer go to the Women's Group because it is at the other end of town. Unless there is someone around to operate the elevator lift, it is not wheel chair accessible. There has never been someone with a key so I stopped going. I was told many years ago to not do stairs. When I went to the lung specialist recently, he said, "You are not doing stairs are you?"

I do have an Al-Anon sponsor. She isn't around much, but when we connect, we seem to go on from where we left off.

Not sure if these are reruns or posted on another area.

~ The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ~

I came to a meeting, all sad and alone,
So sick and tired, of the life I had known,

...Aching and dying, deep down inside,...
And feeling the pain, from the things i must hide.

They told me they loved me, and were glad I was there,
Who are these people, and why should they care?

But the more that I listened, the more I could see,
This room full of addicts, were just like me.

I started to share, trying hard not to cry,
and I no longer felt like I wanted to die.

I wanted to live, but hadn't a clue,
Of what to say, feel, or do.

These people were clean, and would show me the way,
So i listened some more, to what they had to say,

They spoke of a God, and "just for one day"
So I thought, "What the hell," and I started to pray.

They said "get a sponsor," and "keep coming back".
they said a program was all I did lack.

They said "Work the steps, or your going to die".
So I got me a sponsor and i started to try.

I shared with my sponsor who I had become,
The people I had hurt, the things I had done,

He told me he loved me, and then shared with me,
The things he had done, and who he used to be.

That's when i knew, and could finally see,
That if i worked the steps, that I too could be free.

Free from drugs, and feeling that way,
Free from obsession, just for today

So I listen to what you have to share,
Tell you I love You, let you know that i care,

Let you know I have found, a much better way,
Its working a program, we call N.A.

It's sharing my experience, strength, and hope as I trudge,
Its living a life, and not holding a grudge.

It's sharing with newcomers, as they wonder in,
And as they start to listen, they know they can win.

If we all really listen, to what's being said,
The thing's that they shared, the book that is read.

If we listen and learn, we will surely see,
How truly delightful recovery can be.

Anonymous

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HOW TO JEOPRODIZE YOUR RECOVERY:

ARGUMENTATIVENESS:
Arguing small, ridiculous points of view, looking for excuses to get angry.

CHEMICALS:
Using pills to ease tension.

thingyINESS:
Think you have it made, forgetting to guard against the things that lead to emotional problems.

COMPLACENCY:
Letting up on disciplines, getting lazy on recovery.

DEPRESSION:
Unreasonable despair, staying stuck, giving up.

DISHONESTY:
Little lies, deceits and making excuses.

EXHAUSTION:
Becoming overly tired, being a workaholic. If you don't feel well physically, your thinking is apt to deteriorate.

EXPECTING TOO MUCH FROM OTHERS:
Expecting others to follow your script and to change because you have changed.

FORGETTING GRATITUDE:
Forgetting how things have improved since you first started.

FRUSTRATION:
When things are not going your way.

IMPATIENCE:
Things are not happening fast enough, others not doing what you think they should do when you think they should do it.

SELF PITY:
Why do these things happen to me? Why do I have these problems?

SKIPPING THE BASICS:
Meetings, Fellowship, Meditation, Prayer, Personal Inventory.

OMNIPOTENCE:
Thinking you are all powerful, that you have everything under "CONTROL" ignoring suggestions and advice, having all the answers.

WANTING TOO MUCH:
Expecting recovery overnight, over-emphasizing the material things, concentrating on not having what you want rather than concentrating on wanting what you have.

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THINGS THAT CAN STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR RECOVERY

D.E.N.I.A.L. - Don't Even Notice I Am Lying

Lips are moving, we're off and running.
Ever told a story, joke or lie so many times that even you believe it's true?

H.O.W. - Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness
This ones for you, Dad! Hope you like it.

S.L.I.P. - Sobriety Lost It's Priority / So Long, I'm Perfect
If you don't want to slip, stay out of slippery places!

B.I.B.L.E. - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth
Take it as you will.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less.
My Way - No, My Way! - No My Way!

You're as sick as your secrets.
Most of the time, folks see it, know it, or feel it in some way or another, anyway. Get it?

S.O.B.E.R. - Son Of a !!!!!, Everything's Real
WOW! Life happens at the funniest times!

F.I.N.E.
[I'm] Frustrated, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional

F.E.A.R.
Face Everything And Recover

N.U.T.S.
Not Using The Steps

E.G.O.
Edging God Out

D.E.N.I.A.L.
Don't Even Notice I Am Lying

H.A.L.T.
[Don't get too] Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

H.O.P.E.
Happy Our Program Exists

H.O.W.
Honesty, Open-mindedness, Willingness

G.O.D.
Good Orderly Direction

B.I.G. B.O.O.K.
Believing In God Beats Our Old Knowledge

S.L.I.P.
Sobriety Losing Its Priority

A.C.T.I.O.N.
Any Change To Improve Our Nature

P.R.O.G.R.A.M.
People Relying On God Relaying A Message

S.T.E.P.S.
Solutions To Every Problem Sober

K.I.S.S.
Keep It Simple, Sweetheart

Seven missed meetings makes one weak.

HALT: Don't get
too Hungry,
too Angry,
too Lonely, or
too Tired!!

If you do what you always did, you will get what you always got.
or
If you keep doin' what your doin'
you'll keep gettin' what your gettin'

A.B.C. - Acceptance, Belief, Change

A.C.T.I.O.N. - Any Change Toward Improving One’s Nature

E.G.O. - Edging God Out

F.A.I.L.U.R.E. - Fearful, Arrogant, Insecure, Lonely, Unsure, Resentful, Empty

F.E.A.R. - Face Everything & Recover /False Expectations Appearing Real

G.O.D. - Good Orderly Direction

H.A.L.T. - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

H.E.L.P. - Hope, Encouragement, Love, Patience

T.I.M.E. - Things I Must Learn

Progress not perfection.

Change the things I can.

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AA slogans, sayings, and assorted inspirations

The steps keep us from suicide; the traditions keep us from homicide.

The only thing alcoholics do in moderation is the 12 steps!

The elevator is broken - take the steps!

Step 13: My life is unmanageable, and I want to share it with you.

It's alcohol-ism, not -wasm.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

Gossip hurts - and sometimes kills.

Pain is necessary, suffering is optional!

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

If you do what you always did, you'll get what you always got.

Some things have to be believed to be seen.

Feelings aren't facts!!!

In AA, first we remove the anesthesia, then we operate.

Fellowship is the meeting after the meeting.

Let us love you until you learn to love yourself.

Isolation is the dark room where we develop our 'negatives'.

Compare and despair.

Don't compare you insides to other people's outsides.

Let go or get dragged.

If your spinning your wheels, try getting out of the driver's seat.

If your a$$ falls off, pick it up, put it in a paper bag, and carry it to a meeting.

Remember the cost of your last drink or drug when observing the 7th tradition.

Take an action, then let go of the results.

Carry the message, not the mess.

Don't tease your disease.

It's the first car of a train that kills you, not the caboose.

Relapse is NOT a requirement.

Relapse begins long before you pick up the drink/drug.

If you hang around a barbershop long enough, eventually you'll get a haircut.

Those who matter, don't mind; those who mind, don't matter.

Expectations are preconceived resentments.

Serenity isn't freedom from the storm; it is peace within the storm.

Don't speak unless you can improve on silence.

You don't need to "find God"; He isn't lost.

Tell it to your sponsor, or you will be telling it to a bartender.

Surrendering means you don't have to fight any more.

Surrender Dorothy!

I didn't use drugs, drugs used me.

You can be just a crazy sober as you were drunk, you'll just remember it the next day.

AA Sayings - The Complete? List - "Easy Does It", "Keep it Simple Stupid", and many more.

SPONSOR: Sober Person Offering Newcomers Suggestions On Recovery

Original Source Unknown

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Always need to remember that this is a one day at a time program. I need to practice the above daily. My dis-ease within myself doesn't go away, it is only when I apply the program, that I have daily reprieve.

The Twelve Steps and Traditions, which originated with AA, is applicable to all areas of our life.

I do have a disease, an allergy. I don't metabolize alcohol and drugs the way normal people do. I have a obsessive/compulive disorder.

http://www.anxietybc.com/resources/ocd.php

http://www.addictionsandrecovery.org...-a-disease.htm

http://blogs.plos.org/mindthebrain/2...brain-disease/

All of my life, I looked out side of myself for some person, place or thing to make me feel better. I had to find that happiness and love from within myself.