July 16

No tap dancing around problems

Our program calls for a "searching and fearless" moral inventory, not only in the beginning, but as we continue to follow our new way of life.

What this means is complete honesty about who and what we really are. We should not tap dance around our problems in order to evade responsibility. This will not bring the cleansing we need for real sober living. We need deep changes, not mere surface ones.

Difficult as it is to be fully honest, it's made easier when we remind ourselves that it's all for our own recovery. We benefit in proportion to the amount of honesty we bring to our inventory. If it's searching and fearless, the results will be far-reaching and substantial.

I will not shirk from facing the truth about myself as I go through the day. What I need for self-improvement will be revealed to me.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

July 17

Reflection for the Day

When I came to The Program, I found people who knew exactly what I meant when I spoke finally of my fears. They had been where I had been; they understood. I've since learned that many of my fears have to do with projection. It's normal, for example, to have a tiny "back-burner" fear that the person I love will leave me. But when the fear takes precedence over my present and very real relationship with the person I'm afraid of losing, then I'm in trouble. My responsibility to myself includes this: I must not fear things which do not exist. Am I changing from a fearful person into a fearless person?

Today I Pray

I ask God's help in waving away my fears - those figments, fantasies, monstrous thoughts, and projections of disaster which have no bearing on the present. May I narrow the focus of my imagination and concentrate on the here-and-now, for I tend to see the future through a magnifying glass.

Today I Will Remember

Projected fears, like shadows, are larger than life.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

July 18

How will you dream if you don't sleep?
How will you hear yourself?
--Michael Dorris

Sleep is a wonderful gift in our lives. For eight hours, we rest our bodies. We let the thoughts, feelings, and events of our lives tumble through our sleeping minds as they sort themselves through our dreams.

But dreams are not always happy. Some of us are afraid to sleep. Our dreams scare us. We may dream about using again or about bad things that happened. But we shouldn't let our dreams fool us. They are not reality. They are just feelings, thoughts, and memories working themselves out. In early recovery, there are a lot of things to sort out.

We create the reality of our lives by the choices we make when we are awake: how much we trust in our Higher Power, how we care of ourselves, how we treat others, how we work our program.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me listen to the messages of my dreams. Help me understand that my dreams will get better as my life gets better.

Today's Action

I will listen to my dreams. What is my mind working out in my sleep? If I remember my dreams, I will talk about them with my friends.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

July 19

Love itself is not an act of will, but sometimes I need the force of my volition to break with my habitual responses and pass along the love already here.
--Hugh Prather

The familiarity of isolation is both haunting and inviting. In our separateness we contemplate the joys of shared hours with others while seeking the freedom from the pain that likewise hovers on the heels of intimate relationships. The question eternally whispering around our souls is, "Do I dare let you in, to share my space, to know my heart's longing, to feel my fears?" Only when we trust to say yes will we find the peace our souls long for.

Passage through the doors that separate us frees us to change, to grow, to love ourselves and others. We must plant our feet in the soil of shared lives to quiet our longing.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

July 20

Trying to pray is praying.
--Anonymous

"Oh, God, help me! If you get me out of this mess, I'll never screw up again." This was our favorite prayer before we entered the Program. We were always bargaining with God.

We have learned new prayers and a new way to talk and listen to our Higher Power. We are seeking God's will for us. Many of us had to learn how to pray. We began with very simple prayers: "Thank you, God, for helping me today."

We learn that prayer helps us with our faulty dependence on people, places, and things by giving us the insight and strength to rearrange our priorities. Prayer doesn't change God, but it changes those who pray.

Today in my prayers, I will seek my Higher Power's will for me. I no longer bargain with God.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

July 21

Reflection for the Day

The slogan "Live and Let Live" can be extremely helpful when we are having trouble tolerating other people's behavior. We know for certain that nobody's behavior - no matter how offensive, distasteful or vicious - is worth the price of a relapse. Our own recovery is primary, and while we must be unafraid of walking away from people or situations that cause us discomfort, we must also make a special effort to try to understand other people - especially those who rub us the wrong way. Can I accept the fact, in my recovery, that it is more important to understand than to be understood?

Today I Pray

When I run headlong into someone's unpleasant behavior, may I first try my best to understand. Then, if my own sobriety seems threatened, may I have the courage to remove myself from the situation.

Today I Will Remember

Live and let live.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

July 22

No person is your enemy, no person is your friend, and every person is your teacher.
--Florence Scovel Shinn

We can open ourselves to opportunities today. They abound in our lives. No circumstance we find ourselves in is detrimental to our progress. No relationship with someone at work or at home is superfluous to our development. Teachers are everywhere. And as we become ready for a new lesson, one will appear.

We can marvel at the wonder of our lives today. We can reflect on our yesterdays and be grateful for the lessons they taught. We can look with hopeful anticipation at the days ahead - gifts, all of them. We are on a special journey, serving a special purpose, uniquely our own. No barrier, no difficult person, no tumultuous time is designed to interrupt our progress. All experiences are simply to teach us what we have yet to learn.

Trusting in the goodness of all people, all situations, all paths to progress will release whatever our fears, freeing us to go forth with a quicker step and an assurance that eases all moments.

The Twelve Steps help us to recognize the teachers in our lives. They help us clear away the baggage of the past and free us to accept and trust the will of God, made known to us by the teachers as they appear.

I am a student of life. I can learn only if I open my mind to my teachers.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

July 23

The best thing that can come with success is the knowledge that it is nothing to long for.
--Liv Ullmann

Success may be defined in many ways. In our youth, we may have measured success in terms of having a million dollars, two cars, a swimming pool. But we are coming to believe that success means staying clean and sober, living an honest life, and relying daily on our Higher Power.

Material success provides momentary pleasures but doesn't leave us with lasting happiness. We've all experienced the rush to buy another "toy," certain an inner void would be filled. Soon, we were tired of it and looking for another distraction.

We are now learning how to fill those voids with genuine sustenance; our daily commitment to the program and our relationship with God.

I will measure my success today by the quality of my sobriety and relationship with God.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

July 24

Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the Light, even though for the moment you do not see.
-- Bill W.

At times, we'll go through pain and hardship. At times, we'll have doubts. At times, we'll get angry and think we just don't care anymore. These things can spiritually blind us. But this is normal. Hopefully, we'll be ready for those times. Hopefully, we will have friends who will be there for us.

Thank God for these moments! Yes, hard times can make our spirits deep and strong. These moments tell us who we are as sober people. These moments help us grow and change. Spirituality is about choice. To be spiritual, we must turn ourselves over to the care of our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day

God, help me find You in my moments of blindness. This is when I really need You.

Today's Action

Today I'll get ready for the hard times ahead. I will list my friends who will be there for me.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

July 25

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something.
--Wilson Mizner

A good salesperson is usually a good listener. Being a good listener also helps in being a good parent or spouse, neighbor or friend. When we are truly able to hear what others are trying to say, we are better able to enter their world, and let them into ours.

Listening to the collective wisdom of others helps us gain understanding and perspective on the world around us. When it comes to recovery from a life-threatening illness like addiction, listening to others who are in recovery is like receiving a gift of ideas.

It is not always easy to listen, because it's often our nature to want to be the center of attention. But listening is an art worth developing. It enriches our lives, improves our relationships, and helps us feel better about ourselves.

Today may I enrich my spiritual life by listening to others.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

July 26

Worry and Stress

"Make plans but don't plan results." This is a simple phrase cautioning us against unnecessary worry and stress.

If our plans involve other people, we would be wise to work joyfully toward realizing our dreams, but we should not expect or worry if others do not want the same goals. Nor should we worry if others are not as enthused about our ideas as we are. We know, by applying the Serenity Prayer, that we can only change ourselves; we cannot force changes in others.

Another cause of unnecessary stress in planning results comes from our ingrained habit of regarding ourselves as inadequate. All too often, those of us who make plans give up on ourselves when we predict the outcome of our dreams on the basis of our past experiences. We falsely conclude that because we failed or felt empty in the past, we'll most certainly not succeed in the future; thus, we quit too soon and rationalize our resignation with a "Why bother to try?" attitude.

TODAY I will make plans but not plan results. I will work out my plan, one day at a time, knowing that my past performance is NOT an infallible indicator of my present or future success. I will look forward with hope, not despair.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

July 27

There are as many ways to live and grow, as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us. --Evelyn Mandel

Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life.

We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another - and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us.

Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

July 28

Nobody's family can hang out the sign, "Nothing's the matter here."
--Chinese Proverb

None of us come from a perfect family, but if we have any family at all, it's worth the effort to see what there is to enjoy about it. Sometimes it's difficult or impossible, because there's been so much damage. If there's really nothing left, we have to look for family in the fellowship of other sober people.

A family is not always people who are blood related. A family can be people who are so committed to the growth of each other and the relationship that they've become brothers and sisters of a sort. A family is two or more people who care deeply for one another and who are comfortable with each other. We can choose to surround ourselves with others who we feel this way about.

Today let me recognize something good in my family and work at building a relationship.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

July 29

Other people's actions need not affect us.

Our program friends are showing us how to detach from other people and their problems. We have learned we aren't the cause of a family member's alcoholism or the never-ending trauma in a friend's life, though our family and friends may try to blame us for their difficulties. The program teaches us that we don't have the power to make others go against their will. But when others cast blame our way, it's been our nature to absorb it. Now we are learning how to refuse the blame.

Part of the problem is our desire to be liked. The anger or criticism that's directed at us hurts. Few people are wholly immune to barbs from others. Even strangers can trigger reactions in us. But we can change - we can learn detachment. Our program friends are good role models. Daily we can work at letting whatever someone else says or does roll off us. In time, detachment will become our nature.

I will ask my sponsor for help if I let someone get to me today.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

July 30

The winds of grace are blowing all the time.
You have only to raise your sail.
--Sri Ramakrishna

If God seems far away, who moved?

At the center of our being a fullness of life exists that wants to flow through us as vitality, love, harmony, happiness, and success. Why, then, are we not more in touch with it?

Consider the following image: You are standing outside on a bright, cloudless day complaining that you cannot see the sun, when you notice that you have been standing under an umbrella. If as little a thing as an umbrella can block out the magnificence of the sun, how easy it is for our fears, doubts, and feelings of unworthiness to block the connection to our source. But just as the sun continues to shine even behind the appearance of clouds, our inner-knowing is ready to communicate with us in the midst of our despair.

How do we reopen the channels and allow the flow to reenter our lives? First, we must truly desire to communicate with our center and set aside a time each day to do so. Then, get quiet and begin to listen. Soon you will hear that still small voice within.

Your divine self is patiently waiting for you to acknowledge it. It quietly, but persistently, knocks on the door of your consciousness. Open that door and a presence of love and joy will fill your being.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch