Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums

- Family and Friends of Alcoholics and Addicts (https://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=18)

- - Control (https://www.bluidkiti.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6384)

Quote:

Today, I will be open to giving and receiving the healthiest love possible. I will watch for discrepancies between words and behaviors that confuse me and make me feel crazy. When that happens, I will understand that I am not crazy; I am in the midst of a discrepancy. ... by Melody Beattie

This is a good quote. It reminds me of what I was taught in the rooms of recovery and in therapy, "This is what I heard you say, is that what you meant to say?" This is how I took your words to mean, was that your motive and intent?" I didn't hear all that you said, I am not clear on your meaning, would you please repeat that.

I am sorry, I am having a senior moment, I your words are not computing in the moment, let me get back to you. No matter what way you put it, communication is important.

I have Fibromyalgia, and Fibro Fog is a real thing. Sometimes, things just don't get through, either I don't see them, I forget they are there, whether it is short or long-term, memory is not a strong point. Don't ask me why I was ticked off at you yesterday, let alone last week. ;) If I am suppose to be serious, angry and resentful, I am sorry, I forgot.

Quote:

Whenever I hear the word control, I am reminded of the phrase, "If you have to control it, it is already out of control." If I am trying to control something, it means that I think I have the power and for me that is an illusion. Even when it comes to my own feelings and emotions, I have to ask my Higher Power for help.

Many times I was the victim of other people's decision and choices. I try not to play the victim role any more. I try not to go into a pity party and the oh woe is mes. When something happens, I can either accept it, detach from it, or resent it! I am given freedom of choice in today.

If it is something with my own life, I can ask for help to change it, put on a blanket of denial and act as if, I can grieve it and let it go. I can look at why it is happening. Did I do something to cause it? Can I cure it? Can I control it? Generally it is no. If I did have a part in the situation, then I need to look at what I need to take responsibility for my own actions, clean my side of the street, make things right with my God, make amends where needed.

If it isn't my stuff, I can't control it. If it is then I need to take it to my Higher Power and ask for help. When I surrender, I am empowered to do what I need to do for myself.

From a post made on this quote in 2009 on another site.

http://angelwinks.ca/images/kayomi/kayomi16.jpg