Each day is a new beginning. A day can start any time.

It is so important to take ourselves off the flogging tree. No one beat me up more than I beat up myself, and in my case, that took some doing. It isn't just about physical and cutting, but mental and emotional abuse.

I not only had to learn to love myself, I had to learn to like me too.

How can I expect others to respect me, if I don't respect myself.

Respect is something that is earned. I needed to earn it back because I didn't have very many principles left. Every time I picked up, no matter what the substance was, I lost a piece of me. It didn't matter what kind of food it was, whether it was pill to calm me because I was too fat or thin, or a little vino to wash it all down with. It was all about escape and coping with life., which I couldn't do without using people, places, and things.

I had a big void inside that needed filled with spiritual things.

As the slogan says, "This too shall pass." That means the good and not so good, so enjoy the moment when it is here, it may not pass again. If it does come back, it may be in a different format or another reality, and things just don't seem the same.

As it says, "We don't always find it easy to accept, but we don't have to like it, we just need to accept, it is the key to willingness and moving on with our life.

So many times I hear people say, "I have control of myself." That does not carry a very good message. I have no control, I am powerless, without the empowerment of my God.

Control is an illusion, It is all in our head.

The key word is "You." this is a 'we' program, I can't, God can, and each day I have a choice.

A support group was so important, especially getting together with my sponsor.

I lost my first little black book, and I phoned my sponsor, full of fear, I thought I would relapse without it. I was fortunate, my room mate had put a lot of my number on speed dial on the phone. My God does work in my life and He puts wonderful people in my path.

I was told that anything that I put before my God and comes between us and is a priority in my life, becomes my false god.

Found this to be especially true when it came to my computer and eating disorder.

Sorry I didn't copy this from my other site or I put it in the wrong place somewhere. Looks like I had a senior moment.

A good one! So much of addiction is due to emotions and allowing them to direct us and my thinking always took me into more.

I never thought that I had an eating problem. I remember saying, "I am eating because I am upset, if that a$$hole didn't do...."

Never under stood how that more feeling was associated with me eating, whether I didn't because I was fat or because I was fat and who cares and ate what I wanted, 80% not healthy, especially when I add the butter. Everything is better with butter on it, has been my slogan for years. The same as a little bit of sugar will make things go down real smooth and make everything taste better, whether it was food or just life in general.

What a soul eating defect of character defect. So much of my life was looking at what others had, and as they say, "The grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

Had a lot of healing in this area. For one, it was okay to be me. Secondly, when I quit smoking, drinking, and partying I had money to spend on healthy things. When I started buying foods that were good for me and cooking them in a healthy way, cut back on my portions, and learned to exercise by pushing myself away from the table.

My doing the right do thing for me, I lost weight, about 30 lbs worth.

It seemed like I always wanted what I didn't have. I would get a thought about a certain dress or an article of clothing or house wares. Before you know it, I had bought it, only to learn it wasn't worth all the obsession and compulsive spending and always wanting that 'more' when in fact, I should have taken my feelings to my Lord.

Had to look at my lack of energy and chronic fatigue as a natural things or just a laziness thing. My father use to tell me I was born lazy. When I look at past work, I often did the work of 2 or 3 people. Perhaps my thought of laziness was mental and emotional fatigue, even back then.

I know I am quite capable of being lazy. There is a difference between getting showered and dressed and unable to get out my door.

Sometimes I don't want and I don't, just because. In the past, I had to have a list of self-justifications and reasons for being as to why I didn't want to do. Today I don't have to justify my reason for being. If I don't feel like cooking or eating, it just is. Some days just making a sandwich seems like too much. If I cook, I often can't eat.

Not sure if it is part of my eating disorder or Fibromyalgia, it doesn't matter, it just is and I need to be accepting in the moment in order to change or to just be and allow my God to heal in the moment.

Many times if others cook it and put it in front of me, I still can't eat, although I make a valiant effort. It could be mental blocks too, it doesn't matter what label is put on me, it is about what I do with it. Most times it is just take it to my God and we will work on it together.

When it comes to exercise, I know it is not good to be a couch potato. Once I get down there, I don't want to get up.

Sometimes it is just going downstairs or a walk to the mall with my walker. Other days it is just getting up and doing my daily routine, but I have been given exercises to help my circulation by a physio therapist. Sometimes I forget to do them until I am hurting, but my memory does that to me. I often forget to eat too and don't eat until 8-9 p.m. and that is not good for my diabetes. There is so much in a day, that I am grateful that life is about one day at a time.

This is why I say that I used and abused people, places, and things for years. In today, my God utilizes people, places, and things to show me a new way of living.

So grateful for the people my God has put in my path, even those who have taught me what not to do in order to recover.

Have a creative program sure make life more interesting and enriching. Even creative ways to look and prepare food, will help us what to eat healthy.

I used smaller plates, easier than putting less food on a big plate.

Had to accept today, I was sick. I bought some instant cup of chicken soup. Upset stomach, chest pains and cramping made it easy to see, I was sick and had to give myself some TLC.

As I have found many times in recovery, I have had to pray for the willingness to be willing.

Sorry, when I posted this yesterday, didn't notice that it hadn't changed and ended up with a duplicate.