[bluidkiti]

January 23

Quote of the Week

"The First Step is the only Step a person can work perfectly."

I have been a perfectionist most of my life, but I didn’t realize it. When I’d start something, I would do it slowly, carefully. If it started going wrong, or not to my perfectionist standards, I’d quit. Because of this, I just thought I was a quitter, a failure. When I look back on my life before recovery, I see a string of projects, goals, and opportunities started, but rarely finished. Driven by an obsessive need to be perfect, I had a low opinion of my accomplishments and entered recovery with low expectations for success there as well.

When I read through the Twelve Steps for the first time, my perfectionism kicked in. Reading Steps Two and Three, I already felt defeated because I had very mixed feelings about God. Reading Step Nine made me want to give up, as there was no way I could make complete amends without declaring bankruptcy and going to prison. I was ready to go back out until I told my sponsor my feelings. He reassured me that nobody works the Steps perfectly, and that is why we strive for “progress, not perfection.” He told me that the only thing we do perfectly is work Step One and stay sober one day at a time. I told him that was something I could try to do.

Over the years, I’ve come to see how important following Step One is. While I may not do the rest of the Steps perfectly, as long as I’m sober, I have a chance to do them better tomorrow. Giving up the obsessive need to work my program perfectly has allowed me to persevere and do it to the best of my ability at that time. And as I do, I get better in every way, which allows me to continue growing in sobriety. My recovery continues to be a work in progress, and it starts by being perfect where I can—with Step One.