Quote:
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
Being a healthy parent means being firm but nurturing, giving children a decent sense of the boundaries along with lots of unconditional love.
—Karen Shaud
In a healthy family, life goes along and everybody pitches in to do the housework. Some people wonder why housework is such a big deal. It is because people need to contribute to a group in order to feel they belong to it. Housework makes us part of the same group--our house, our family. We make our house comfortable so we can feel comfortable and safe in it. We show love for ourselves by making our surroundings likeable. And when we do physical work, we can do our inner housekeeping, letting go of negative feelings that pile up during the day.
On days when life feels out of control, we feel good when we do one simple job: clean the messy desk, wash dirty dishes, shovel the snowy walk. In this way we regain control of our feelings as well as a perspective on those things within our control.
What simple work do I need to do to feel better today?
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Help someone else and in doing so, I help myself.
Whenever I see the word control, I remember what I was taught in Mary Ellis House where I went through treatment, "If you have to control it, it is already out of control." Just not my using and the substance I choose to pick up (people, places, and things), but the thinking that takes me to that place, where I am looking outside of myself for affirmation, validation, attention, love and acceptance, because I can't find it within myself.
For so many years, I lived my life through my son and/or the man in my life, I put my life on hold, waiting for their
commands and I would let my life slide by, because I wasn't important and worthy.
I am an addict just as much as the alcoholic and drug addict in my life. They use me and I used them.