Quote:
April 16
"Acting As If"
"Today, we seek solutions, not problems. We try what we have learned on an experimental basis."
Basic Text p. 55
The first time we heard that we should "act as if" many of us exclaimed, "But that's not honest! I thought we were always supposed to be honest about our feelings in Narcotics Anonymous."
Perhaps we can reflect on when we first came into the program. We may not have believed in God, but we prayed anyway. Or maybe we weren't sure the program would work for us, but we kept coming to meetings regardless of what we thought. The same applies as we progress in recovery. We may be terrified of crowds, but if we act confidently and extend our hand, we'll not only feel better about ourselves, we'll find that we are no longer so frightened of large gatherings.
Each action we take in this vein brings us closer to becoming the people we were meant to be. Each positive change we make builds our self-esteem. Through acting differently, we will realize that we are beginning to think differently. We are living ourselves into right thinking by "acting as if."
Just for today: I will take the opportunity to act as if I can accept a situation I used to run from.
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Thought this meant not being honest. I didn't feel right, and then I thought I don't have to lie, I just have to make actions as though I believed. I knew I was an addict. I was in denial about my alcoholism. I went to AA for my denial. I said I was an alcoholic in order to belong and it took me two years to overcome that denial. I didn't drink, I just continued going to AA and NA. I finally realized that I used alcohol like I used everything else. At two years, I had a dream of me walking into the Legion, wearing 3" red high healed shoes, walking a straight line, ordered a rye, got the coke from the machine, and then I proceeded to be a first class B.I.T.C.H., and saw myself as others saw me. I was a braggart, full of myself, always challenging others for a game of pool, darts, carts, and always made myself available for another drink. It was a big eye opener, and as it say, "Everything became real."