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March 3

Step by Step

Today, understand that taking care of myself does not have to mean I am selfish and not placing everyone and everything after me. If I am Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired – HALT– my Program requires that I bolster myself so that I have something to share as an effective and meaningful 12th-stepper. We as alcoholics are predictable only in unpredictability and extremities – all or nothing with little or no middle ground. Tending first to our physical, emotional and spiritual health is the middle ground between active alcoholism and being in service to others, and we have little to pass on if we have neglected ourselves. The eventual outcome, if not a relapse, will be an alcoholic who is little more than a dry drunk – or a dead drunk. Today, if I feel the physical, emotional and spiritual need to seek and meditate with my higher power, let me not feel guilty or selfish because, in the end, I have nothing to offer to others if I have nothing to offer myself. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SELF-ESTEEM

We can help one another find out the meaning of life. But in the last analysis, each is responsible for finding himself.

~ Thomas Merton ~

“Because of my changed attitude, I am today he best me I’ve ever been.” The ability to say those words at any moment is one of the many rewarding experiences of recovery. Those words are not boastful. They describe a newly found self-esteem.

Those words go beyond satisfaction for our ability to correct character defects and make amends. They are more than an appreciation of character growth. They are a daily personal challenge to make every tomorrow a day on which we can repeat the words, “I am the best me ever.”

Whatever progress I make will not come to me as a gift. I need to work for every inch of growth. Others can show me the way to be the “best me ever,” but I have to do the work.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Love is an ideal thing, marriage is a real thing a confusion of the real with the ideal never goes unpunished.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe ~

Everybody knows about the adjustment required by two people when they decide to become life partners. Part of that adjustment is moving from feelings of pleasure and excitement to managing the more practical aspects of daily life. In that interdependent life, we have to carry our share of the work. Sometimes we may feel let down; sometimes our partner will feel let down by us. We have to deal with differing sexual appetites and learn how to respect the differences while maintaining the connection.

The practical is never as heavenly as the ideal. When we enter the realm of the partnership, while we may struggle and feel confused or frustrated at times, we come to know each other more deeply—and we become more vulnerable. Our first task is to be sure that our partner, while vulnerable in deep and real ways, is in good hands with us. That means we don’t willingly hurt our partner and we don’t use abusive or threatening words. At the same time, we expect our own vulnerability and trust will be handled with care by our partner. When these ground rules are in place and followed, our intimacy continues to deepen through the practical details of our lives.

Today I accept the real world of daily life in my love life.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Time and again I have searched for you, not knowing that it was me I needed to find.

~ Betty MacDonald ~

We may have spent many years looking for the partner who would complete our lives. We were certain that happiness was guaranteed when the search culminated in the perfect selection. How tragic it seems when we discover that happiness still eludes us. The search, coupled with the belief that someone else is our ticket to happiness, has lead us down many dark alleys.

We are learning now that finding our true self oilers us the wholeness we thought would come from our attachment to another person. The Steps will guide our self-discovery. Through the Steps, the meetings we attend, and the friends we make, we’ll find our real self. Knowing her fully, accepting her completely, will fill the void we thought only another person could fill.

I will pay attention to who I am today. I will honor the whole of me. I know genuine happiness can be found only in this way.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I feel good when I share at meetings

Even though I can’t always put into words just what I have in mind, I am now sharing at my meetings and my fellow members are listening to me. I realize how good it feels to say what I’m feeling and be known.

I have been shy and reserved much of my life, but in treatment eventually I got used to seeing a circle of people look at me. And it got easier to think on my feet. Now at my regular Step meeting, I like it when they pay attention to me. I feel like a part of the group. I feel especially good when someone thanks me for sharing.

I will write down two other ways I can become a stronger part of my recovery group.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Yesterday is a cancelled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have — so spend it wisely.

~ Kay Lyons ~

An elderly man said, “I just realized I’ve spent my life thinking ‘I’ll be happy when so-and-so happens.’ But so-and-so never happens, or if it does, I find something new to wait for. Now I realize I’ve never been happy.”

Think of all the todays he let slip by waiting for tomorrow. Other times, we may lose today in dwelling on yesterday. We worry, fret, and fume, thinking of how we could have done things better. We don’t know the first thing about tomorrow.

We need to find a reason to smile today. A reason to be grateful for being here today. Today we won’t drink, today we are sober, today we can do or say one small thing that will make us happy.

With the gift of sobriety, today will bring us what we need to be fully alive. Yesterday is gone; tomorrow is but a dream. Only today is truly ours for the taking.

Today help me make the most of this day. Guide me as I work the Steps and feed my recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Failure after long perseverance is much grander than never to have a striving good enough to be called a failure.

~ George Eliot ~

When Thomas Edison and his assistants finished their long labors over an improved prototype of the first electric light bulb, Edison gave the bulb to a young helper. But the nervous boy dropped the fragile bulb. Again, Edison and his assistants produced a prototype. Edison once more handed it to the boy. This time, he carried it safely to another room. In that simple gesture, Edison changed the boy’s feelings of self-worth from failure and incompetence to success and self-confidence. How often do you pay attention to your accomplishments? More often than not you pay them little heed. Instead, you focus on past difficulties, false starts, and failures.

Samuel Beckett once said, “Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” When you learn to pay scant attention to your failures, it means you have ceased to fear them.

Starting today, accept that mistakes and failures are in-evitable. But they are also valuable teachers that provide lessons to help you change. By learning from your mistakes, you are more capable of moving forward.

I can rise each time I fall and learn something in the process. I will focus on my achievements and successes rather than failures so I can become more confident.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Here is a mental treatment guaranteed to cure every ill that flesh is heir to: sit for half an hour every night and mentally forgive everyone against whom you have any ill will or antipathy.

~ Charles Fillmore ~

What is forgiveness? In a way, it’s the ability to let go of negative feelings toward ourselves or others and replace them with good, positive feelings. Are we forgiving to others?

In retrospect, we may discover ill will toward people with whom we had contact today. Perhaps some driver cut us off in traffic and we shouted in anger. Or maybe we snapped at friends, co-workers, or family members. Maybe we nagged at someone whose behavior bothered us. Maybe we carried some resentful feelings toward someone in our past.

Tomorrow, and maybe for several days, we can take time to forgive people for their negative behaviors. After we’ve done that, we can forgive ourselves for our reactions towards others. Letting go and forgiving is the best way to cleanse ourselves, leaving more room for positive feelings.

Who do I need to forgive? Right now, I can let go of my negative feelings and replace them with good feelings.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Experiencing growth

It is not easy to stay clean and sober. It takes all the strength we have. We may suffer men-tally or physically, but now we can learn from our experiences. In our using days, we could suffer the same experience many times and not learn a thing.

Now we are facing life for the first time, and we have the chance to grow through our experiences. If we take that first pill, fix, or drink, we halt our chances of growing.

Am I growing from each new experience?

I pray for the strength to endure and for the ability to grow through each life experience without that first fix, pill, or drink.

I will strengthen my abstinence today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

My way is to begin with, the beginning

~ GEORGE GORDON, LORD BYRON ~

Newcomer

Things have been going badly for me ever since I got up. This has been one of my worst days in recovery.

Sponsor

Recovery shows us that we’re free to start the day over any time we like, morning, noon, or night. Sometimes I say to myself, “I’ve gotten through the past twenty-four hours without acting on my addiction. This moment I’m beginning a new twenty-four-hour period. I’m starting my day right now.”

Then, no matter where I happen to be, I take a few minutes to do some of the things that usually help me. I pray for the willingness to do whatever is necessary to stay in recovery. If possible, I read a page of program literature or make a phone call, and plan to attend a meeting as soon as there’s one I can get to. I take several slow, deep breaths. I treat myself with gentleness.

Whatever we’re able to do today is enough. If we haven’t picked up our addictions, we’ve participated in a miracle.

With the help of my Higher Power, I’m getting through whatever this day brings.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

In AA no man is the official mouthpiece of the Movement. No one person represents AA officially. Here you find a God of your own understanding; when you talk you give only your own opinions, you give your own interpretation of the Twelve Steps and practice them as you think they should be practiced.

If you use your method and stay sober, we will admit your way is good for you but we admit no authority on your part to tell us how to work them. Because it worked for you is no sign it might not be poison for someone else.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) The more you have, the more you want.

2) If you review your problem closely enough, you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

3) Worry is a prayer for something you don’t want.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Love

Higher Power, remind me that:
Love is patient;
Love is kind.
Love is not jealous; it does not put on airs; it is not snobbish.
Love is never rude; it is not self-seeking; it is not prone to anger; neither does it brood over injuries.
Love does not rejoice in what is wrong, but rejoices with the truth.
There is no limit to love’s forbearance, its truth, its hope, its power to endure.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

YOU SET THE CLOCK

There is nothing in the universe that you cannot do or be if you are mentally ready. People speak of golden opportunities but what we call opportunity is really our own mental readiness. Napoleon said, “Opportunities? I make opportunities”; and while this would be merely a vainglorious boast for one who is not on the spiritual basis, yet when you do understand the Truth of Being, it is simply a statement of fact. The Romans could have had the telephone; the Greeks could have had the cinemas; the Babylonians could have had the automobile—had they been mentally ready. The laws of nature were the same in those ages as in ours, the same materials were in the ground—so they had to go without them.

Supply the necessary mental condition, and the demand, the opportunity, or the occasion, will present itself automatically.

Whenever you are ready you will find that everything else is ready too.

Take ye heed, watch and pray; for ye know not when the time is (Mark 13:33).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Beyond the Dark Night

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.

~ Psalm 23 ~

At some point, everyone passes through a dark night of the soul. This is a difficult time in which we are moving from an old life to a new one, with no apparent security or help in sight. It appears that the old is being taken away by a hand larger than our own, and there is no solid ground on which to stand. As old friends or supporters fall away, we feel like misfits in a world that does not understand us. The activities and things that once gave us comfort seem empty or unavailable, and sometimes it appears that all is lost. At such a time, we are called upon to search deep within ourselves for faith.

Although the dark night is painful and harrowing, it is an important and productive time. If you are passing through a dark night, take comfort in the truth that there is a bigger picture than the one you are seeing, a larger hand operating behind appearances. The dark is a time to clear away the old to make way for the new and better. Nothing is taken away that is not replaced with something more valuable. The field is being turned over so that old weeds and dead roots can be dissolved and new seeds sown. Spring is not far behind the winter.

When I have gone through such experiences, this message has come to me loud and clear: Surrender to love. Do not try to fight the changes, and do not try to understand them. In your anxiety, do not attempt to clutch at the old for security; instead, do your best to release what was, and be open to what is to come. Define all the changes as good, and look for their blessings. The day will come when you will look back at such a time and say, “Thank you.”

Hold my hand, God, during a time of shadows.
Though I see You not, I trust that You are present.

All change is good. I surrender to love.