[bluidkiti]

March 5

Step by Step

Today, if at a meeting or in a conversation with an AA member I hear his experiences on Skid Row, let me not make the smug and sanctimonious comparison that, “I was NEVER that bad.” If the other guy’s bed where he passed out or detoxed was a plastic bag on the ground under the bridge where the homeless and down-and-outers congregate but my bed was in my house; if his basin to vomit was the river running alongside the bank of the ground under the bridge of the homeless and down-and-outers but my basin was the pristine sink in my bathroom; if he landed in the county jail’s drunk tank but I never did; if he was in the hospital psyche room for the uninsured next to my room that was a little nicer because I had insurance; if his drinking cost him his family and home but I have a house even though it, too, is empty of anyone but me; if his last drink was two days ago and mine two years ago but both of us have not drank in this, the current 24 Hours; how, then, do I con myself into thinking, “I was NEVER that bad?” The other guy may have been on Skid Row, but I built my Skid Row in my own house. Today, I will not climb a moral pedestal with the lie that I NEVER got as bad as someone else – because I did. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

NEEDING PEOPLE

I was never less alone than when by myself.

~ Edward Gibbon ~

In order to continue to grow spiritually, we will, happily, always be among the lucky people who need people. For the rest of our lives, we will give to friends and receive from them. We will make progress together. But each must welcome the reality that he or she needs, at times, to be alone with only personal thoughts.

Such times fill the necessity for a prayer and meditation. We will never be at a loss for inspiration for contemplation. New friends said, “Welcome to our world.” We can well meditate on that wonderful world of gratitude, love, honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and other elements of spiritual progress.

I must be like a ship’s captain who constantly consults instruments to make sure I am properly on course. My “instruments” are other people. What they teach me is what feeds my meditations when I am alone. That way I am never alone.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

I just keep goin’ up there and swingin’ at ’em.

~ Babe Ruth ~

Even Babe Ruth had his share of strikeouts. On this recovery path, relapse is always a possibility, and we need to learn how to avoid it—and how to deal with it if it happens. What do many guys feel first when they re-lapse? Shame. This feeling may be unavoidable, but we do best if we don’t stay there long. It is not what we de-serve to feel, and it weakens us rather than strengthens us. After a relapse, the first productive thing to do is tell our recovery group and our sponsor. When we do that, we expose our addictive and codependent side. That side may want to stay hidden and secret, but our recovery requires that we shine the light of day on it.

The second thing to do is ask ourselves what we can learn from this relapse. If we can learn the lessons it has to teach us, it is no longer a deficit but an asset that strengthens our healing. Some relapses happen when we fail to take care of ourselves; we get too worn out, too depleted, too needy. Some happen because we associate with others who support our addictive impulses rather than with those who have our best interests at heart. The bottom line is that a relapse occurs because we are addicts and codependent. After a strikeout we can still go up there and swing at ’em again.

Today I know once again that lam powerless over my addiction and my codependency.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Time brings summer to a close as well as winter to an end. Time ages the brilliant petals of flowers as well as prepares new buds. . . . we can trust that time will bring the good to us as well as take away the bad.

~ Amy E. Dean ~

We can stop worrying. We can stop criticizing other people. But we can’t stop the passage of time. Let’s be grateful for that. Had it been possible to stop time, we might still be in unhealthy relationships, perhaps living on the edge of danger or in a blackout.

The passing of time not only moves us beyond the bad, but also advances us beyond the good. We hate to let it go. However, we need to move on and be open to new opportunities. Life is ebb and flow. We’ll have periods when problems seem rampant. At those times it helps to remember that this too shall pass. All will pass when the lesson has been gleaned. Let’s relish whatever this moment gives us and know that its time will soon be gone.

Time is my friend today. Each minute brings to me an experience I am ready for.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can’t use alcohol or other drugs when I take medication

I want to feel better. My symptoms are tormenting me. My doctor told me it would take a couple of weeks for my medication to work, but it’s been longer than that now and I feel like I can’t hold on. Today, I’d just as soon score some of my own drugs again. I know I’d feel better – right away – if I took them.

And yet, I also know that if I mixed street drugs with my medication, I could get very sick. I would lose my abstinence. And I would be taking back the control I gave to my higher power in Step Three.

I will pray to my higher power for the courage and strength to resist the urges and to find healthy ways to cope.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

Smiling, laughing, and expecting the best is the penicillin of depression.

~ Julias Murphy ~

As the architects of our day, we can design and build a work of art. What a wonderful opportunity to be able to draw the blueprints of each day. Starting our morning with breakfast and an air of positive expectancy does wonders for our emotional outlook. Learning to look for the good and happy events in life acts like an emotional vitamin that lifts our feet and spirits. We are all wonderful works of art and we deserve to have days filled with light and good cheer. The more positive we are, the more we seem to attract positive people, places, and things into our lives. Nothing is as contagious as good cheer and a positive attitude. And nothing can defeat us when we welcome the good things in life.

Today help me decide to be happy and approach every situation with a hopeful and positive outlook.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain; what you have not done is feel all you are beyond the pain.

~ Saint Bartholomew ~

Chuang Tzu told a story about a man who was so afraid of his shadow and his footsteps that he ran away from them. But the more he ran, the louder the footsteps sounded and the more swiftly his shadow followed. Falling into a panic, he ran until he dropped dead from exhaustion. What the man never came to realize is that if he had only stopped running, the things he feared would have stopped chasing him. His wild imaginings would have been put to rest.

You may believe that when you run away from your feelings, you are more capable of avoiding them or making them disappear. But the truth is the more you avoid your feelings, the greater and longer your pain will be.

Once you stop running and face your feelings, the process of release begins, bringing relief from the pain, anxiety, and fear. In letting your feelings in, you are letting them go.

Today I will express my feelings of sadness, grief, anger, and joy. I will feel them, express them, and release them.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Remember that you may have and not have. You may receive a property and not enjoy it. You may inherit wealth arid not use it. To grasp the great promises of what God can do for you … is the way to possess the possessions and realize the wealth.

~ H.C.G. Moule ~

There is so much we have that we take for granted. We seem to focus more upon material things than the wonders of what we already possess. Today we may have wished for more clothes or more money or a bigger house. We may believe more material things will make us better, more powerful, or happier.

Yet we own a wealth of things we never had to buy. We can survive with these things and become a better person. We can take more control of our life and add to our happiness. We were given these things without working overtime or taking out a second mortgage. The wealth we have within us is a gold mine of health, intelligence, and faith. Without these God-given gifts, we are poor in mind, spirit, and body. With these gifts, we truly do have more than money can buy.

Do I realize the value of my mind, health, and faith? I can give thanks for these gifts and learn to appreciate them more.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Finding happiness within

When we were taking drugs, we were looking for fulfillment and happiness. We couldn’t face the reality of life, so we tried to create a world that we could feel comfortable in. We searched for our pleasures in sources outside ourselves, in people, places, and things.

In working our spiritual program we come to realize that happiness and contentment are to be found within. Gradually we become aware of our achievements and the beginning of gratitude slowly sets in. Little by little, the peace, pleasure, and happiness within grow, and then we can reach out and say, “Hey life, here I am!”

Am I full of inner peace and happiness?

I pray I may always remember that peace and happiness come from my Higher Power and that I may be grateful for it.

Today I will express gratitude for my inner peace and happiness by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Someone else’s legs do you no good in traveling.

~ NIGERIAN PROVERB ~

Newcomer

I went over to offer help to someone at a meeting; she’d been sharing about a problem I thought I knew something about. She was chilly and asked me not to intrude. I felt pretty hurt.

Sponsor

Many of us drank or drugged in a controlled, calculated fashion. The desire to maintain the illusion of control over the uncontrollable may have come with us into recovery. We may be “people-pleasers,” overly helpful or compliant, trying to take care of others, attempting to manipulate them to like and take care of us. Eager to come to the rescue, we may have trouble minding our own business. We may want to have the answer to other people’s problems— it’s a great distraction from our own. We may be quick to offer unasked-for advice, rather than sit with the feelings that another person’s pain has awakened in us.

Today, I listen to my own and other people’s feelings. I don’t try to fix anyone, even myself.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

One day we were practicing alcoholics, then in twenty-four hours we were on the Program – arrested cases.

Was it because one day we were weak and spineless and the next day we had completely reversed our character?

No, the Power had been there all the time but we had never before tapped it. Our best-intentioned friends had advised us to use our Will Power, not realizing that it was the stubbornness of our Will Power that made us persist in our drinking.

It takes a person of great will to continuously defy the pleas and threats of our combined words. No, it wasn’t Will Power we lacked, it was Won’t Power. We Won’t take that first drink.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) If your heart is full of gratitude, there is no room for resentment.

2) To an alcoholic, if one is good, one in every color is better.

3) It’s easy to see the difference between ourselves and our inferiors, but it is much harder to see the difference between ourselves and our superiors.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Twelve Rewards

Spirit of the Universe,
I humbly ask for Your help so I may continue to realize the rewards of recovery:

1. Hope instead of desperation.
2. Faith instead of despair.
3. Courage instead of fear.
4. Peace of mind instead of confusion.
5. Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
6. Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
7. The respect of others instead of pity and contempt.
8. A clean conscience instead of a sense of guilt.
9. Real friendship instead of loneliness.
10. A clean pattern of life instead of a purposeless existence.
11. The love and understanding of my family instead of their doubts and fears.
12. The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of addiction.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TURN WITHIN

Don’t wait about for God to act dramatically—because He probably won’t. When people expect a dramatic miracle from the outside, they are really hoping to change conditions without changing themselves; to get something for nothing, in fact, and that would be a violation of cosmic law.

Don’t wait for God to tell you what to do from the outside—He won’t

And the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God, and into the patient waiting for Christ (2 Thessalonians 3:5).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Whom Did You Expect?

Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterward.

~ Niklaus Wirth ~

When I taught adult school, I offered a yoga class followed by a stress-management course that I called “Easing on Down the Road.” The first night of the semester, the yoga class ran a few minutes overtime, and I noticed one of the students from the second class standing outside the door, nervously pacing back and forth. The man kept looking in the window, checking his watch, and making an anxious face. When his class began, he fidgeted and squirmed most of the time. He was one of the most uptight students I have ever encountered. During his class, I found myself inwardly complaining, “Why does someone as nervous as he is have to be in my class?” Then another internal voice asked me, “Whom did you expect to take this class—calm and peaceful people?” The voice had a point. I had advertised to teach stress management, and I shouldn’t have been surprised to get stressed students. My complaint was as unfounded as a doctor wanting to see only healthy patients.

If you offer a service, welcome challenge from those who come to you to receive it. They are the contingent that will keep you on the cutting edge of your creativity and force you to go deeper into your latent genius. Your difficult clients will motivate you to open to the next level beyond the one that is currently comfortable, and ultimately improve your skills.

You are here to make the world a better place. Staying in the safety zone changes nothing. Stretching into uncharted territory will bring light to places that were dark. Congratulations on signing up to be an angel.

I pray to offer service to those who can be most helped by my unique talents.

I serve on the cutting edge of my destiny.