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April 7

Step by Step

“Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.” – The Fifth Tradition

Today, ask if I am a positive contributor to my home group’s mission as commanded in the Fifth Tradition, or if I fail and even bring dissension and division to my group. There is little to interpret in the Third Tradition that the only requirement of an individual member is “a desire to stop drinking.” Carrying that into the Fifth Tradition, I need to work on any hidden prejudices against individuals to the point that I impose my own “requirements” on them. Have I ever been guilty of talking critically or gossiping about a member because of his gender, religion, socioeconomic class, sexual orientation or gone so far as to doubt or challenge his claim to length of sobriety or moral inventory? If I have, I have breached the Fifth Tradition and, in so doing, I have perverted the Steps and Traditions into something they are not intended to be. Today, I will work with and not against and do what is required – “carry (the) message to the alcoholic who still suffers.” And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SEXUALITY

Our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.

~ Alcoholics Anonymous ~

What comes from our higher power is to be honoured and treated with respect. Our sexuality has unlimited potential for good. We have so often turned this power in on ourselves and been destroyed by it, or allowed it to destroy others.

The Steps let us change our feelings our feelings about sex so that these new feelings can encourage wholesome relationships. When we walk with our Higher Power, our self-will doesn’t run riot over our sex lives. Our spiritual awakening washes over all our relationships, even our most tender and personal.

We gain a new sense of respect. We learn we can love deeply. We find that sexuality is a powerful, life-giving force that enriches, bonds, and commits us to a special person. We no longer have to face remorse and guilt from uncontrolled desires.

May I rediscover the joy in my God-given sexuality by treating myself and others with honor and respect.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unaware.

~ Hebrews 13:2 ~

Recovery is a very democratic thing. No matter how far down a man has fallen, no matter how bad his life choices have been or how much he has given up for his addiction and codependency, he deserves our basic human respect. We all are created in the image of God. There is something of God within everyone.

When we go to our meetings, we meet many kinds of people. Some of them we have more in common with than others. Some of them we will feel closer to than others. But we are all creatures of the universe and we are all equally loved by God. We may feel critical of someone’s behavior, but ultimately we are called to respect everyone as fellow human beings seeking a path through life.

Today I accept the love of God and pledge to show respect to everyone I meet.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

We are likely to blunder from one crisis to another if we haven’t learned to act responsibly.

~ Jan Pishok ~

Before we got clean and sober, we lived in perpetual crisis. Few situations unfolded exactly as we planned. We generally overreacted, and repeated crises were born. But no more, as long as we utilize the principles of this program. Acting responsibly means being in charge of our thoughts and our attitudes, which will avert the crises.

Surely adult women like us don’t have a problem being responsible! But alas, that’s not always the case. In years past, we seldom did the right thing. Now we may flirt with disaster because we let the addict loose in our heads. The tools we’ve learned from our sisters in this program can get us back on track, but we have to want to steer the right course. No one plucks thoughts from our mind or pushes ones in that we don’t want. We’re in charge, so let’s accept the challenge.

Acting responsibly is no harder than I choose to make it today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am learning it’s OK to cry

I’m not sure what’s going on with me. I know I’ve been blue for a while now, but I have always felt better sooner or later. These days, when my mood picks up, it is short lived. Soon, I’m weeping again. I’m afraid, and I feel like I’m losing control.

I called my therapist about this again and got some reassurance. I need to keep reminding myself of her message: It’s OK to cry. It’s part of healing. While it can be frightening to feel so deeply and to feel such deep pain, the feeling alone won’t hurt me.

I will make a flash card that reads, “It’s OK to cry and feel the pain.”

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

If you are willing to open yourself to the miracles of each day, each day toill be a miracle.

~ Katherine L. ~

The morning light trips into the room and gently warms us. Slowly, we return from the world of dreams and begin a new day. How can we doubt that there is a Power greater than ourselves? Each day, there are a multitude of little miracles that remind us — if we take the time to notice.

During recovery we learn to wrap our minds around the idea of a Higher Power. It truly is an awakening, a “coming to,” after years of fog and blackouts. Our grandiose, self-centered life was like a dream. Then sobriety, a gift from God, slowly crept into our world. Very much like waking from sleep, we began to open our eyes, see the real world, and open ourselves to the joys and opportunities that awaited.

Now that we have been awakened, we need to keep our eyes open, to listen to the direction and guidance from this Power greater than ourselves. The answers are there if we’re willing to stop, look, and listen. We feel these answers every day.

Today help me look at the miracles around me, especially in Twelve Step meetings.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Solitary shots should be ignored, but when they come from several directions, it’s time to pay attention. As someone once said, “If one calls you a donkey, ignore him. If two call you a donkey, check for hoof prints. If three call you a donkey, get a saddle

~ Marshall Shelley ~

You may have grown up in a home where a parent frequently said, “You’re stupid” or “You’ll never amount to anything.” But did every single person in your life—all of your family members, your teachers, your neighbors, and your friends—say the same things? Chances are the negative messages came from one or two sources.

Such negative statements, especially from people whose acceptance and approval are important to you, can have a lasting impact. But remember, such statements do not define who you are unless you let them. Chances are those saying such things have low self-esteem and feel more comfortable by criticizing you than by taking a look in the mirror.

Focus on doing things to help you feel better about yourself. Work toward strengthening a healthy level of self-esteem so you are better able to prevent outside influences from shaping or dictating how you feel.

I will not adopt negative messages. I will not give them the power to define who I am or to destroy who I am becoming.

Each morning the day lies like a fresh shirt on our bed.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

I have to laugh at the times I’ve knocked myself out over a tough spot only to find out afterwards there was an easier way through.

~ Robert Franklin Leslie ~

We receive messages throughout the day that tell us ways of doing things. The door to the store says “pull.” The red light tells us not to drive through the intersection. The cereal box says “lift tab and open.” Our car gas gauge tells us “empty.” With these messages, we are given the guidance on which to base our decisions.

We can choose not to pull the door. Then we’ll spend a lot of time and energy pushing until we finally read the sign. All that effort expended, just because we couldn’t stop to get some guidance!

The Twelve Steps offer guidance for an easier way through life. We don’t have to knock ourselves out over these Steps; all we have to do is follow the direction they give us.

How can I use the Steps to make my life easier?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Turning it over

It is true that if we turn our wills and our lives over to God, our problems will be lifted. It is easier to speak this truth than to live it.

Looking back, we see that following our own will has caused serious problems in our lives. Let’s give this truth a chance. Let’s pray, meditate, listen, and believe.

Am I turning it over?

God, help me to stop holding on so tight and to have faith.

Today I will turn my will over to God by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Surrender sooner.

~ SAYING HEARD AT MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

I’ve been working so hard to do everything I’m supposed to, in recovery and in the “real” world. But something in me wants to slow down, cry, and scream, maybe even collapse. The timing couldn’t be less convenient. I should have waited to come into recovery.

Sponsor

How much choice do we really have about timing, about when we enter recovery? Hitting bottom is a spiritual crisis; like any other crisis, we have to address it when it occurs. We don’t get to negotiate the terms. Similarly, we don’t get to choose the nature or timing of the emotions we experience. We can stop our tears, but not our grief. If we don’t try to resist or block feelings, they flow through us surprisingly quickly.

Falling down doesn’t mean we’ll never get up again. We may need to let some things fall apart before we can move on. Those of us who were brought up to believe that we should be able to manage several things simultaneously, ignore our personal needs, and come through every crisis with a smile may have trouble letting go of our old ideas. It’s okay to be imperfect in our recovery process. The sooner we let go, the better.

Today, I accept my Higher Power’s timetable for me.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many of us, when we get over the Big Trouble, whiskey, sit back complacently and begin to enjoy our sobriety.

To work the Program successfully, we must remember that whiskey is only the first. There are many other conflicts ahead and we must press on to successive victories over our many character defects to achieve a new way of living.

The conflict will never end until you arrive at perfection, or still more probably, the grave.

When you began to rest complacently on your oars, you will find your boat is drifting downstream.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) My expectations are inversely proportional to my serenity.

2) We are all special cases.

3) HOPE: Hang On, Peace Exists.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Seventh Step Prayer

My Creator, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad.
I pray that You now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows.
Grant me strength, as I go out from here to do Your bidding.
Amen.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

TEMPLE OF SOLOMON – SILVER

Next comes the silver. This stands for greed of money or money’s worth, for material objects that can be bought, and even for riches themselves. Or it may be that the offender is not interested in riches themselves but in their ability to give him honor in the eyes of the world. He wants to be considered important and to have adulation or applause. Often he wants to be a “leader,” not because he has a message to give but to be important. He is the victim of egotism. Now this is a base and ignoble sin; an insurmountable barrier across the spiritual path.

For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while coveted after, they have erred from faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows (1 Timothy 6:10)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Get Real

In a dream I saw myself as a great and colorful butterfly; now I am not sure if I am Chuang-Tsu dreaming I was a butterfly, or a butterfly dreaming I am Chuang-Tsu.

~ Chuang-Tsu, Chinese Patriarch ~

Over the past decade, the word real has come into vogue. Coca- Cola insists that it is “the real thing.” Our friends tell us to “get real.” Before entering into business ventures, we do a “reality check.” We can’t help avoiding the questions, “What is real?” and “Who is the real me?”

At the completion of nearly every one of my retreat programs, someone wistfully notes, “Too bad we have to go back to the real world now.”

I always respond by saying, “This is the real world. The world of loving, honest communication and genuine caring reflects our true identity much more than the world we usually call ‘real.’”

What world is real to you? The world that most people consider real is fraught with illusions. Money, fame, power, sex, and material security do not offer true reward and substance, they dissolve as soon as the tiniest light is shed on them. While the “real world” tells us that these commodities are worth living and dying for, those who have them are often desperate for love, relationships, communication, community, and peace of mind.

The real world is the world of kindness, caring, vision, and service. All of these qualities are attributes of our divine nature. As children of God, we can only be what God is, and that is everything that is good. We are born of light, and we return to the light. To live in light is to live in the real world.

Show me the real world. Let me not forget my nature and my origin.

I live in the real world of love.