[MajestyJo]

There was very little acceptance in my life. I fought abuse and rebelled against anything and everything. I was definitely the defiant one.

I was also accused of not getting sober by the book. People told me the first 164 pages. I said, "Is that all there is, I want more." What I found out that no matter where I looked outside of the rooms, they always led me back there. I went to other fellowships, and came back to AA, mainly because of my denial. I identified more with addicts and yet a lot of addicts didn't always identify with me because to them I wasn't an addict because I didn't do street drugs and the heavy duty pills like perks and oxys. As I told one member, I feel like an AA reject.

Even now, I am more inclined to say, "Don't tell me, show me."

I know that when I find that acceptance, it makes all the difference, so I don't know why I fight it. Not so much any more, but it took a long time and it wasn't until I heard, you didn't have to like it to accept it, I struggled.

Acceptance is part of the First Step. I had to accept my disease. It is also a part of the grieving process. Any time we go through loss or change in our life, we go through that grieving process, so it is very much a part of our lives.

The biggest challenge was accepting me. The people in the rooms loved me back to good health. They gave me the love I couldn't find within myself.
I like the part about attitude and the way we look at things, that is me. I think there is goodness to be found in all things. Sometimes you have to look real hard to see it, but even if the only thing is the fact the person is sober, that is special in and of itself.

Acceptance is the key as the Big Book says. If I accept it for what it is, the way it is, in the moment, I know that when I surrender it to my Higher Power, it will change, without any help from me. Sometimes all I have to do is get out of the way. Other times, I have to do the footwork, for me that is showing a willingness to change to be open to new things.

It was a real gift to find out that I didn't have to like it in order to accept it.

Something I posted on The Five As in 2011