[MajestyJo]

A day that dawns bright and optimistic, can unravel as quickly and completely as one that begins with a tangle of trouble.

Whether I see it coming, or not, whether the undoing is of my own doing, or not, there are days when I find myself on the backside of the bright side.

Life sends everyone for a ride on the backside. People let you down. You disappoint yourself or someone else. Things hoped for, don't materialize. Jobs disappear. Finances escalate. Health deteriorates. Loved ones pass away.

Unless you live in an insulated bubble, a ride on the backside is inevitable.

Experience on the backside has taught me not to run to the company of misery -- those faithless, open, outstretched arms of self pity & hopelessness. I am not pitiful. I am not without hope and I am faith-filled. I have returned, victorious, to the bright side after every experience on the backside.

Where I am, is never as important as, who I am, while I'm there.

I can sit in darkness and I can despair over being there. I can moan and groan, pick up the phone and wail about my troubles to everyone who will listen. I can pound people with my problems every chance I get. I can seek out the company of those who enjoy misery's embrace and learn nothing from the experience.

Or...

I can poke a hole in the veil that separates the backside from the bright side and create a small stream of light to serve as reminder of the victory ahead. I can pray, and I can work my way through trials with ever increasing patience and ever growing strength of endurance. I can pay attention to the parts of my character that show up during difficult times and acknowledge the areas of weakness that need building up.

I can stand straighter and taller each step of the way, until the day I can rip the veil from top to bottom and claim my victory.

Even when life is at its darkest, you are never on the backside of nowhere. The bright side is always there, waiting for you to step back into it and experience your victory.


I AM
The Ancient One-Lordès

(Used with permission)

Written in 2004

It is nice to go back to old posts and find what you need for in the moment.

Today is a day I hope I never have to repeat anytime soon. Nothing that I can point a finger to, just a day like this reading which started with sunshine and promise and ended up with me fighting myself, feeling very alone with no desire to much of anything, certainly not going to a meeting and being with people, and no one came to mind that I really wanted to talk to.

My son was here for a short time, he even cooked supper. I laid down for a couple of hours while he watch a movie because I was in pain.

In the last hour since he left, I have been reading old posts and feeling a little better. I think part of the problem has been depression. I have been taking nothing for my pain, my new doctor refuses to give me the medication that has worked for me for the past twelve years, and I think I am just sick and tired of fighting the pain. Just for today, I have had problems being strong. This piece gives me a lot of strength. It was written by a very special lady who is on tour and I don't get to correspond much any more. I am grateful for the lessons she taught me and started me on a new spiritual awareness many years ago.

Thanks for letting me share.

The key for me when I read this tonight was getting out of my own way.