Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums - View Single Post

MajestyJo · 02-21-2014, 07:58 AM

Thanks for sharing. A good friend in recovery can identify, I think a lot depends on how long that person has been in recovery and has the experience of living the program and came in and stayed.

Most times my sponsors have had more recovery time than I did and had something that wanted. Are they living a spiritual life? Most of my sponsors oozed Serenity. One was an addict who found recovery in AA because she found NA a trigger.

I just got comfortable with going to one person and building a relationship. Relationships were never one of my better attributes. (Took me two husbands to get 10 years of marriage) Because I am dually addicted and qualify as an Adult Child of Alcoholics and Codependent, I had a sponsor in AA, NA, and Al-Anon.

I also had good friends who knew me better that I knew myself at times. I also had a spiritual adviser. A friend, especially one not in the program, doesn't have a true concept of our dis-ease. They may have one themselves that goes untreated because of their own denial.

Also, just having my home group, tends to make me look for the answer that I want to hear, I ask around until I get the answer I am looking for. I found my sponsors told it as it is. I had a good friend who did that too, unfortunately, she couldn't stay clean and sober herself.

I also found it good to have a sponsor and a co-sponsor, so that if I couldn't get hold of one, I had a back up. If I leave a message with both, the one who calls back first, is generally the one with the message I needed to hear.

I had a NA sponsor, who didn't have as much time as I had in recovery, but NA here didn't have a lot of women with long-term recovery. She said she couldn't identify with me because I had tasted hash and pot, but street drugs were not my thing, I resented that they made me lose my alcohol when I tried them. She didn't recognize that a drug is a drug, and it is the thinking behind the drinking and drugging which was my problem. Prescription drugs were like dried-up alcohol for me. Another reason to identify not compare.

Things are but suggestions, but for me personally, the suggestions became darn well betters.

02-21-2014, 07:58 AM	#9
MajestyJo Super Moderator Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Hamilton, ON Posts: 25,085	Thanks for sharing. A good friend in recovery can identify, I think a lot depends on how long that person has been in recovery and has the experience of living the program and came in and stayed. Most times my sponsors have had more recovery time than I did and had something that wanted. Are they living a spiritual life? Most of my sponsors oozed Serenity. One was an addict who found recovery in AA because she found NA a trigger. I just got comfortable with going to one person and building a relationship. Relationships were never one of my better attributes. (Took me two husbands to get 10 years of marriage) Because I am dually addicted and qualify as an Adult Child of Alcoholics and Codependent, I had a sponsor in AA, NA, and Al-Anon. I also had good friends who knew me better that I knew myself at times. I also had a spiritual adviser. A friend, especially one not in the program, doesn't have a true concept of our dis-ease. They may have one themselves that goes untreated because of their own denial. Also, just having my home group, tends to make me look for the answer that I want to hear, I ask around until I get the answer I am looking for. I found my sponsors told it as it is. I had a good friend who did that too, unfortunately, she couldn't stay clean and sober herself. I also found it good to have a sponsor and a co-sponsor, so that if I couldn't get hold of one, I had a back up. If I leave a message with both, the one who calls back first, is generally the one with the message I needed to hear. I had a NA sponsor, who didn't have as much time as I had in recovery, but NA here didn't have a lot of women with long-term recovery. She said she couldn't identify with me because I had tasted hash and pot, but street drugs were not my thing, I resented that they made me lose my alcohol when I tried them. She didn't recognize that a drug is a drug, and it is the thinking behind the drinking and drugging which was my problem. Prescription drugs were like dried-up alcohol for me. Another reason to identify not compare. Things are but suggestions, but for me personally, the suggestions became darn well betters. __________________ Love always, Jo I share because I care.