[MajestyJo]

Of course the depressive and the power-driver are personality extremes, types with which A.A. and the whole world abound. Often these personalities are just as sharply defined as the examples given. But just as often some of us will fit more or less into both classifications. Human beings are never quite alike, so each of us, when making an inventory, will need to determine what his individual character defects are. Having found the shoes that fit, he ought to step into them and walk with new confidence that he is at last on the right track. Now let's ponder the need for a list of the more glaring personality defects all of us have in varying degrees. To those having religious training, such a list would set forth serious violations of moral principles. Some others will think of this list as defects of character. Still others will call it an index of maladjustments. Some will become quite annoyed if there is talk about immorality, let alone sin. But all who are in the least reasonable will agree upon one point: that there is plenty wrong with us alcoholics about which plenty will have to be done if we are to expect sobriety, progress, and any real ability to cope with life.

AA 12 Steps & Traditions

It wasn't until several years in recovery that I looked at a horoscope and got a different perspective on my character. I was one of those who hated the word sin. I was told I was a walking one. I figured that God couldn't love me because I didn't everything that the church said I wasn't suppose to. I smoked, drank, swore, got married twice, played cards, danced and went to movies. I would hear the word sin and cringe. I didn't feel like a bad person but I was told I was and I came to believe.

I came to the program and was told I was a sicker person trying to get better, not a bad person trying to get good. I heaved a sigh of relief. At first 'sin' came to mean Social Insurance Number. I was no longer a nobody. I was a somebody and I was worthwhile.

It later became Soul In Need. I felt like I was missing something and I was always looking outside of myself to make me feel better. I used people, places and things for temporary fixes. They didn't last, and I kept looking for more. When one didn't work, I would look for another, not just alcohol and drugs, but relationships, work, food, shopping, computer, gambling, and probably a few more that I have forgotten.

I could not cope with life and was very codependent. I read the preface to Codependent No More and ran to Al-Anon.

I came to realize that if I wanted sobriety, I had to change. Just not picking up a substance to escape me reality was not enough. It wasn't about others, it was about me and my attitudes. Others were but a symptom of my disease. There were no healthy addictions. They all led to the same soul sickness.

To be continued...