[MajestyJo]

Wisdom for Today

While forgiveness does indeed wipe the slate clean, it cannot undo the consequences of our actions. In completing my Fifth Step, I had to accept the fact that my actions while under the influence had certainly hurt a lot of different people including myself. Most of this hurt was not intentional. It simply was a consequence of my disease. When the drugs and alcohol were making my decisions for me, I said and did things I wish I hadn’t. Even during the brief periods of time when I was not using, I said and did things of which I was not proud. I would have to pick up the pieces of my brokenness.

I had indeed made a lot of mistakes and wronged many people. My Higher Power knew this. I knew this, and now another person also knew this. It is God who in His grace provides grace and forgiveness. I also needed to learn how to forgive myself. This began with working on accepting myself – the good, the bad and the ugly. It also was made possible by accepting that much of what occurred in my life was not by conscious choice. My addiction had made choices for me, choices that I would not have made if I were in my right mind. I also began to do repair work on the damage done. Perhaps what helped me most was to seek permission to forgive myself through prayer and meditation. Self-forgiveness is a process and not an event; it takes time. Have I forgiven myself?

Meditations for the Heart

There is an ancient myth about a bird of fire that rises from the ashes. The Phoenix was given new life. I likewise was given a new life in recovery. If I was going to rise from the ashes of my life, I needed to learn to forgive myself. The days of self-hatred, disgust and shame had to end. These attitudes needed to die. I needed to arise from the ashes of my life with a willingness to be obedient to my Higher Power’s will and live a life of service and integrity. While I do not do this perfectly, and none of us can, I do strive for progress. Much like the Phoenix , I have experienced a resurrection and been given a new chance on life. Am I using this new chance on life to serve others and seek integrity in all that I do?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,

Help me this day to seek after Your will and be willing to do that which is the right thing. Let me seek to follow Your direction in all that do. Let me this day find acceptance of who I am, Your forgiven child. Let me reach out to others in humble service.
Amen.

After my last post, this seems to be what I needed to hear today.

I am not one of those who believe Step 4 & 5 are a one time deal. This is a one day at a time program. I firmly believe the format can be used in today to help our recovery, especially if the issue is rooted in the past or is a situation in today, that is an old pattern that keeps repeating itself and needs to be changed. When I want to look at a situation in today and look at my part, an inventory and a talk with my sponsor is in order. Whether it is written out by hand, a conversation by messenger or e-mail, it is something that I need to communicate even if it is verbally.

This all came from my site that was deleted and posted elsewhere.