[MajestyJo]

A is for Alcoholic. I am an alcoholic when I say I am one.

An online acquainted said to me, "I saw your photo on one of your sites and didn't think you looked like an alcoholic! I figured it was your husband or family who had the problem."

What does an alcoholic look like? It appears like the old stigma is still very much in play in so many areas. We need anonymity, yet are we so anonymous no one know we are here and that there is help, and that we can recover from that hopeless state of mind and body.

People just don't understand. I have people say, "Well I won't let you drink when you are with me." They don't know that they are as powerless over this disease as I am if I don't connect to my HP on a daily basis. When I surrender, I am empowered to do what I need to do what I need to do to stay clean and sober in today.

From “Stars Don’t Fall”:

"Above all, he noticed that I drank a good deal...I saw him recently and he told me that he had always felt guilty [about leaving me], because, after our separation, I had become a serious alcoholic. With ten years of AA behind me, I was able to tell him that I’d have been an alcoholic, no matter what; that I had been a sick person, unfit for marriage.”

Alcoholics Anonymous, page 403

Found this post on my site Soundness of Mind. Again, hindsight is a great teacher. I thought my husbands were my problem, when in fact the problem was me.

I had to get honest. That first taste of alcohol when it hit bottom, was a feeling and thought I never forgot. It always seemed to be the solution. I sometimes found it again but couldn't stop there, I always had to have more. That was at 10 years old. The more and more came about 20 years later. When I wanted to stop, I couldn't.