I am a firm believer in my program, his program and our program. Ours isn't running to my partner's sponsor and telling tales on him, but I think that if you see them doing something that is harmful to their sobriety, I think we should bring it to attention of our partner and what he or she does with it, is their business.
If a sponsor approaches me, I won't lie. I would tell the truth as I see it, and I would say "This is what I see." It isn't up to me to sponsor my partner. I have had a couple of relationships were they tend to look to me as sponsor and not share with their own sponsor who seemed to be 'in name only.'
I really need to watch that. I can't live with someone, be sponsor, friend, lover, etc. it is too many hats to wear and I found I end up not doing any of the roles well and have ended up with major resentments, only to find myself at wrong for taking on the role. I am spread to thin, and they become too dependent on me, which isn't healthy for both of us.
Those that judge don't matter and those that matter don't judge.
You do what works.
