[bluidkiti]

February 13

Wisdom for Today
One thing I learned relatively quickly in the program was the importance of telling on my disease. Keeping things locked inside did me no good. I had to open up and tell others when my disease was acting out. In the early going, it seemed like this was all the time. My addiction was working overtime to try and convince me to return to the insanity. Sometimes it was cravings or urges to use that I needed to talk about. I had this addictive preoccupation with getting high. I would romance the high, remembering all the good times. I was not thinking about the consequences and pain that my disease had caused. I was glorifying my drinking and my drug use.

Other times it was anger and resentment that was boiling on the inside. Then there were the times that guilt or shame had its way with me. Still other times my denial and dishonesty would play games with me. Regardless of how my addiction was acting out, I needed to share. Keeping secrets only kept me sick. Even now with years into recovery, I find that my disease looks for opportunities to act out. Even though the compulsion to drink or use is no longer present, I can see that my illness will look for any chink in the armor. Recovery at times is a war, and a good friend of mine helped me by telling me to keep my helmet strap tight. He was referring to the armor that any warrior wears. When my disease acts out, do I tell on my disease and keep my helmet strap tight?
Meditations for the Heart
The program gave to me the armor I wear in recovery. I have been provided with the steps and many other tools to protect me from any assault that my disease may bring against me. It is when I remove the armor that I become vulnerable. If I stop going to meetings, stop using the steps or stop relying on my Higher Power, I put myself at risk. My disease knows this and lies in wait. It sneaks up on me when I least expect it. This is why I need to tell on my disease and share what is going on with me. This is why even years into recovery I still must wear the armor I was provided in the early days of my recovery. When I am under attack, I need to go to more meetings. I need to tell others what is going on with me. If I do this, I know I can be confident that my Higher Power will protect me. Do I wear the armor I have been given?
Petitions to my Higher Power
God,

When I was naked, You clothed me with a fine suit of armor. This armor still protects me today. Even though the battles I fight do not occur as often, I know that I still must wear this suit of armor, for it is only in wearing this armor that I can be confident in battles that I must fight with my disease. You bring victory to me each day that I remain clean and sober. For this I am grateful.
Amen.