Let it begin with me is still my favourite slogan and for me it is doing a Step Ten every night. It isn't about what the other person did or didn't do, it is about looking at my side of the street. If my side of the street is clean, if I haven't hurt someone with my tongue, if I didn't put someone down to make me feel better, if I have been as honest as I was capable of being in the moment, if I can rethink some of my actions and look to see if I could have done it better, if I heard a message and ignored it and didn't connect with my Higher Power, I make an amend to that person, my God and to me according to my inventory.
My sponsor use to say, if your side of the street is clean, if you have made things right with your God, then you can walk tall and be proud of who you are. I didn't know what peace was. The program gave me the tools to be at peace with myself and with who I am.
Had trouble understanding the concept of
powerlessness until I substituted the word control. Control was an illusion. Power was an illusion. It was my denial along with old tapes which told me I was at fault and I was responsible.
It was great to go to Al-Anon to know that I can't control it, didn't cause it and can't cure it. It sure saved a lot of energy.
In Step One, when I get honest, surrender and accept my disease and that of those around me, then I am empowered to do what I need for myself to stay clean and sober and to detach and set boundaries with the alcoholics/addicts in my life.
I came, I came to, and I came to believe that the program would work for me. I was no longer the power and as I worked the Steps, I found my Higher Power and was able to turn my life over and came to realize that other people had their HP and I wasn't it!
Trying to control so that I could feel safe, was what kept me blind and sick.
Posted on another site in 2010, with some in today thoughts added.