Quote:
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Moving Forward
Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don't need to suffer with them.
It doesn't help.
It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us.
Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We're accountable for ourselves. They're accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow.
Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.
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So true, every time my son got involved in something, a friend or a sponsee relapsed, I ran to Al-Anon. I didn't have a CoDA meeting near me, I kept thinking of starting one, but never got there.
I am powerless over alcohol, along with peopole, places and things, and my life is unmanageable when managed by me, my life is unmanageable when I try to manage other people's lives and try them into the way I would have them go. My live is unmanageable, and I don't grow, if I am focusing on others and not focused on my own recovery. It all begins with me.