O is for Outer. When my outside matched my inside, I felt like I had finally got a measure of recovery.
The outside was my mask to the world to hide what was brewing on inside.
In early recovery, I was a red head. I started to wear makeup because my ex-wouldn't let me wear any because it was beer money for him.
I came out of my pill induced depression and started to care about myself, and at first it was just a security shield. I was told that I was well preserved in alcohol because I didn't have many wrinkles and in my mid 50s, people thought I was in my 40s. This raised the self-esteem and sense of worth, yet it was superficial. As they say, the beauty comes from the inside and is reflected on the outside.
