[bluidkiti]

July 10

Step by Step

"Liquor ceased to be a luxury; it became a necessity. 'Bathtub' gin, two bottles a day, and often three, got to be routine. Sometimes a small deal would net a few hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars and delicatessens. This went on endlessly, and I began to waken very early in the morning shaking violently. A tumbler full of gin followed by a half a dozen bottles of beer would be required if I were to eat any breakfast. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation ..." - Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 1 ("Bill's Story"), p 5.

Today, grant me understanding that drinking is neither a luxury nor a "right" for me and that I can never again be a "responsible" drinker but, in fact, will progress in severity. And as AA co-founder Bill W. came to believe that he could control "the situation" but eventually could not, so it goes for me. Let me recognize the lifeline that is there for me but that Bill W. helped construct the lifeline. The help that Bill W. co-developed is there for me now, when it wasn't there for him. Today, I will not just ask for help - I will embrace it because it is there. And our common journey continues. Step by step. - Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE SOLUTION

The answers will come, if your own house is in order.

~ Big Book ~

Our continuing spiritual growth through the Program has given us solutions to the problems we thought we couldn't solve. Through disciplined concentration on the 12 Steps and working the Program, the answers have come, some slowly some quickly.

One solution was the change in our attitude when we admitted and accepted the seriousness of our addiction. This awakening prompted the willingness to begin working the 12 Steps. The answer is the development of honesty, gratitude, faith, belief, humility, and the ability to love others and our inner self.

My recovery is physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. When I am willing to work on all four, the answers will come.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.

~ Albert Einstein ~

Many of us stubbornly hold on to our long-established, preferred ways of looking at things. We don’t think we are stubborn, only that we rely on what worked for us in the past. Perhaps as young guys we coped with stress by keeping our thoughts to ourselves, or we figured out that we wouldn’t get hurt if we didn’t trust anyone. All of the patterns that we developed as youngsters were our best attempts at the time to deal with our lives. The greater the stress we felt, the harder won were our coping responses, and the stronger our attachment to them.

Our best answers from boyhood may not fit our lifetimes as men. Holding too dearly to childhood solutions freezes us in immature and weaker levels of growth. What was charming and harmless behavior in a child can be manipulating and dishonest in a man. Thus we create new problems. We need to let ourselves become more vulnerable—to give up the security of our old ways and open ourselves to the messages coming from our friends, our program, and our experiences.

Today I will be open to insecurity and create the possibility of growing stronger.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Asking God for help has finally become a part of my life. Now I’m learning to quiet myself to hear God’s response.

~ Joan Rohde ~

No problem is too insignificant for us to look to God for guidance. And every problem gives us an opportunity to strengthen our spiritual development. As we rely more on God for our sense of direction, we will encounter fewer situations that cause us turmoil. Trusting God’s presence and guidance lessens the confusion that in past years may have crippled us.

Most of us came into this program with little or no belief in a loving Higher Power. It may have taken frequent suggestions from sponsors and other people in recovery for us to be willing to ask for the help we were promised. But finally we cleared that hurdle. Immediately we faced another one. Asking for help, we found, was the easier part; listening for God’s reply was harder.

But the right reply will come to us at the right time. We will sense the answer we’re looking for when the time for knowing it is right.

I will include my Higher Power in all my problem solving today. The solution I need will be mine if I patiently wait for the response.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I can enjoy each day

When I was using and having serious symptoms, my life was troubled and chaotic. Each day was much like the last (some just held less distress than others). I just wanted to forget them.

But in recovery I experience my life differently. Now that I am free of mood-altering chemicals and stable on psychiatric medication, the chaos is gone. I no longer want to forget my days. I am learning how to feel useful and enjoy each day once again. As I take part in my recovery activities, I feel more connected to my life and the world around me.

Today I will take a risk and do something new.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

This life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it.

~ William James ~

Active addiction fogs our thinking and progressively limits our choices in life. Finally, we are left with only two choices — recovery or death. By choosing recovery, we have again opened our lives to many new options in sobriety. Sober living requires choice. Our growth depends on our being able to identify opportunity and deal with its challenges, to face life’s ups and downs rather than running from them.

We also come to understand that our reality is what we make it. Things and people, places and events, are neither good nor bad until we determine their quality. This opportunity of choice gives sober living its value. Now, we can think through and determine the value of our lives. Today, we can accept the responsibility of free choice, and take steps to change ourselves. Events no longer overwhelm us. We can accept challenges, work through our problems, and enjoy the benefits of our work. What we used to think of as obstacles are now new opportunities we shape with the tools of recovery.

Today let me accept challenges as just what I need to grow in recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Habit has a kind of poetry.

~ Simone de Beauvoir ~

A habit is simply a manner of behavior that falls into a pattern. It can be a set time for doing things, a particular way of doing something, or a tradition or custom. Exercising at the same time of day, taking your dog for a romp in the park each afternoon, vacationing with your family at the same place every summer, attending church on Sunday, or going out to dinner on Friday nights are examples of good habits. While such things are not physically addictive, when they are absent from your life you may feel emotionally or spiritually empty. Without them, you can miss the pleasure and enjoyment they bring.

You can even convert something you do not like doing into a good habit. Perhaps you dislike doing laundry or mowing the lawn. But when you seek out the positive elements in such activities—all your clothes smell fresh and clean or you have the opportunity to get outdoors and make your yard look nice—you can convert them into habits you enjoy.

The more bad habits you replace with good ones, the less likely you will be to engage in the bad habits—and the more likely you will be to develop their positive re-placements into lifelong good habits.

I will develop something I really like to do into a good habit.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

You must travel the river, live on it, follow it when there is morning light, and follow it when there is nothing but dark and the banks have blurred into shadows.

~ Will Haygood ~

Any lifeguard knows a swimmer who tries to swim against the current stands a good chance of becoming tired and drowning. Go with the flow is a good reminder to help us stop going against the current of life.

Tonight we may discover that our weariness is a result of swimming against today's current. We may have tried to force changes in people, places, or things. We may have even tried to force ourselves to do things we were incapable of doing.

Going with the flow tonight means accepting the way we feel—right now. It means listening to our inner voices when they tell us whether we're tired, hungry, cold, or lonely. By accepting ourselves and not fighting how we feel, we'll be better able to travel the river tonight.

Tonight I will respect myself and go with the flow.

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Avoiding criticism

Criticism is hard to take. If we don’t want to be criticized, we shouldn’t criticize others. At the same time, expressing concern in a loving way is not being critical.

We are entitled to our opinions, but we are not entitled to put other people down. Sharing our experience, strength, and hope is a way to help others, not to make them feel small.

Can I express loving concern? Can I share without making comparisons?

Higher Power, help me recognize when I am becoming critical; help me to be loving and humble.

Today I will praise

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

“No” is a complete sentence.

~ SAYING HEARD AT MEETINGS ~

Newcomer

There’s a member of a group I go to regularly who’s been asking what my weekend plans are, then suggesting that we do various things together; this person has an idea for every evening or afternoon I have free! I sense that I’m being looked at as a possible romantic prospect, and I’m definitely not interested. I’ve been making excuses and not liking doing it. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but I don’t want to be dishonest, either.

Sponsor

We don’t always want what others want; situations in which we have to say no keep arising in life. As you’ve discovered, making excuses or bending over backward to avoid people doesn’t always alleviate our discomfort and may even intensify it. Most of us don’t want to disappoint others, but indirectness sends the wrong message and only postpones disappointment.

I suspect that your power to hurt this person isn’t as great as you think. Most of us have survived being said no to, especially if it’s said in a way that allows us to keep our dignity. Communicating our truth sets an example of adult behavior in recovery; in the long run, our example may even prove helpful to the other person in a situation he or she has to face.

When we have something to say that is difficult for us, we can pray beforehand to be confident in our own feelings and to share them simply and clearly.

My honesty today is a gift to myself and others.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

Many of us alcoholics can withstand the big trials but succumb to life's petty irritations. We are like the mighty big-game hunter who survived many harrowing experiences with wild beasts yet lost his mind when he sat on an ant hill.

It is not too difficult to remain cool during a great crisis, but a fouled up shoestring can throw us off the beam.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Awareness, Acceptance, Action

Dear God, slow me down when all I do is try to fix and control things and people. Help me to first accept situations as they are when I become aware of them. Slow me down in Your stillness. Mark my awareness with unselfishness, my acceptance with humility, and my actions with usefulness to me and others.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

RECIPROCAL JUDGMENT

Read Matthew 7:1-5.

These few verses consist of only about one hundred words, and yet it is hardly too much to say that at their simple face value they comprise the most staggering document ever presented to mankind. In these five verses we are told more about the nature of man and the meaning of life, and the importance of conduct, and the art of living, and the secret of happiness and success, and the way out of trouble, and the approach to God, and the emancipation of the soul, and the salvation of the world, than all the philosophers and the theologians and the savants put together have told us—for it explains the Great Law. "Burn the rest of the books, for it is all in this one," would hold in reference to those words.

People are very apt to think, especially when they are strongly tempted, that they can probably escape the clutches of authority in some other way. If, however, they understood that the law of retribution is a cosmic law, impersonal and unchanging as the law of gravity, they would think twice before they treated other people unjustly. The law of gravity is never off duty, and no one would ever dream of trying to evade it, or coax it, or bribe it, or intimidate it. People accept it as being inevitable and shape their conduct accordingly—and the law of retribution is even as the law of gravity.

You may like or dislike the law, and if you wish, you may try to ignore it; but you cannot deny that Jesus Christ taught it, and in the most direct and emphatic way when he said:

Judge not, that ye be not judged. Far with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged (Matthew 7:l-2).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Immediate Results

Only infinite patience begets immediate results.

~ A Course in Miracles ~

In my rush to leave my house one morning, I walked through a screen door. As I hastily reached to take a patio chair out of the rain, I did not see that the sliding screen door was closed, and I rammed right into it, tearing the bottom. This got my attention. I stepped back, took a few deep breaths, and asked, "What is the lesson here?" Quickly the inner voice answered, "Slow down."

The thought that your life is moving too slowly is a sign that you are moving too fast. Rushing never improves the quality of our life or the results we seek; to the contrary, it muddies our vision and causes us to make errors that cost us twice as much time and energy to repair.

The universe is proceeding with perfect timing; if you believe it is not, it is not an error in the universe, but your perception. My friend was late driving to her therapy session and got stuck behind a slowpoke on the highway. After honking and cursing at the driver in front of her, she finally had a clearing to pass. When she did, she discovered that the driver was her therapist.

Trust that you have enough time to do everything that needs to be done. Love does not worry or force; it flows. Relax into what is happening, and the peace you enjoy will be accompanied by the clarity and efficiency you gain.

Help me to know that all things are unfolding naturally.

God's timing is perfect.