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March 15

Step by Step

Today, attitude may be the second most force in sobriety and recovery – second only to abstinence. But attitude cannot begin and end with taking on mere gratitude. If I am uncertain, even afraid, of life without alcohol, it doesn’t parallel the certainty of life WITH alcohol. If a Fourth Step is a painful revelation, the pain pales to what we endure by continuing to drink. If sobriety is “boring,” we need only ask ourselves if we really want the drama and trauma of the county jail drunk tank, a court sentence, fines and fees, community service, the threat of being fired or the substantial risk of having family and friends walk away. And if sobriety is “lonely,” we need only to go to a meeting or call a sponsor or someone in recovery instead of falling back into the desolation of drinking alone. If we can say the growing pains of sobriety come nowhere near the pains of drinking, if we can be honest and confront the character defects we find in our Fourth, if we can commit to recovery more than abstinence and if we nurture the 12th-step mandate to help others who still hurt, we can say we have an attitude that has grown into a thirst for recovery. Today, I choose an attitude of recovery and, with God’s blessing, every day that follows this one. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

SOLITUDE

I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.

~ Thoreau ~

Before the activities of any day begin, we dress our minds as carefully as we dress our bodies. Each day requires both planning and examining if it is to be helpful in our 12 Step progress. We perform such duties in solitude. Otherwise we will be lacking in the ability to cope and get the best from each day.

At the end of the day, silent and alone in thought, we weigh our words and actions of the past hours so we may understand how well we measured up to the hopes and expectations we had at the day’s beginning. That way, we can enrich tomorrow’s plans by the successes or mistakes we uncover.

Daydreams are not worthless if I have hope they can come true and faith that they will materialize. Solitude is my companion when I plan and evaluate.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

My intuition can lead me in the right direction when my will and God’s will are one.

~ Kathy McGraw ~

Sometimes we mistake ego for intuition. Then we wonder why doors don’t open. We may try to force circumstances to meet our expectations. Our chemical dependency led us to behave this way in the past, and this behavior helped to get us here to this program. Today we are striving for times when things do flow smoothly, when doors open at just the right moment, when we experience effortless living—in short, times when our will and God’s are one. But how do we do it?

The key is to slow down and ask ourselves if what we are about to do feels right. Doing God’s will always feel right. By contrast, being driven by our own ego often feels wrong, very wrong. In our using days we were adept at ignoring the feeling that something was wrong. However, our growth through the Steps makes ignoring what is wrong impossible now. That’s good for us. And it’s even better for the people in our lives. Wanting to follow God’s will is the first step to actually following it.

My ego is always ready to jump in where God’s will is needed. Today I’ll slow down each time I’m ready to Jump, and I’ll listen instead to my feelings.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I am slowly recovering my self-respect

When I was using chemicals and feeling depressed enough to miss work, I lost interest in most everything. I lost energy and confidence. I often felt guilty, ashamed, and angry.

But since I’ve stopped using chemicals I’m feeling better. I had managed to see a psychiatrist and get both medical and psychological treatment for my mood disorder. I’ve started going to a support group and a Twelve Step group. In general, I’m seeing how others recover from a dual disorder and seeing that I too can change my life little by little, one day at a time.

I will make one change in my day’s activities that will help me feel better about myself.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

I told that little five-year old living inside me how courageous she is and what a great job she did surviving — it was an important turning point in my recovery.

~ Janet P. ~

Since addiction and codependency often run in families, it’s likely we had some unmet needs as children. Some of us had absent or abusive parents. Some of us grew up in poverty. Others grew up in a place that looked and seemed normal on the outside but was very wrong on the inside.

We can’t run from our past or deny what happened. Doing that, we risk repeating the same behavior in our adult relationships. As recovering people, we need to learn how to be our own nurturing parents. We need to love and protect the child who still lives within us. We need to speak to that child with encouragement and acceptance and trust. We’re in charge now, and can give ourselves what we need to help our spirits blossom and grow. We can’t change the past, but now we can change the future.

Today help me replace negative self-talk with words that a kind and loving parent would say to a beloved child.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

The Fox and the Stork

One evening the fox invited his friend the stork to dinner. For a joke the fox prepared soup and served it in a shallow dish. The fox could easily lap up the soup. But the stork, with its long bill, went hungry. The fox gave the stork a sly grin and said, “I am so sorry. It seems as if the soup is not to your liking.”

“There is no need to apologize,” the stork replied. “I would like to repay your hospitality and invite you to dinner tomorrow night.”

The next evening, the stork served the fox a meal in a long-necked jar with a narrow mouth. The stork could easily reach into the jar and eat, but the fox could not and went hungry. “I will not apologize for the dimer,” the stork said, “because one bad turn deserves another.” After that, the fox and the stork were no longer friends.

The moral of the story: Revenge may be sweet, but the damage it does cannot be repaired.

No matter how wronged you may feel by the words or actions of another, remember that revenge, retaliation, and harboring resentment serve no useful purpose.

I will let go of past resentments and consider no one to be my enemy.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Joy enters the room. It settles tentatively on the windowsill, waiting to see whether it will be welcome here.

~ Kim Cherin ~

Is joy a welcome feeling for us, or do we find it hard to express positive feelings? If we grew up in an alcoholic home, we learned early not to trust positive feelings because they usually wouldn’t last long. We may have lived with or were familiar with people who had emotional mood swings, and we learned positive feelings didn’t have a beginning or end.

Is joy welcome in our lives or do we still fear it? Even if we’re still living in an uncomfortable situation, we now have tools to detach ourselves from the behaviors of others. We now have a concept of a greater Power. If we trust the tools and the Power, we can relax and let positive feelings into our lives.

There can be laughter now, perhaps even from us. There are smiles we can respond to and we can initiate some. There are peaceful, loving moments we can experience with others. There can be much joy in our lives, if we can only begin to let it in.

There is joy to feel, if I let myself. What can I feel joyful about in my life tonight?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Living honestly

We can live ourselves into being new people as we act honestly in each situation, one by one. Each day, honestly lived to the depth of our ability, will result in new experiences, richer and fuller than the day before.

Unless we live our honesty, we are destined to stay in our old ruts. Being honest with ourselves and others creates many new opportunities for us.

Do I practice honesty in all of my affairs?

God, grant me the humility to be honest with others today and the light to be honest with myself.

I will cultivate self-honesty today by

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

I am years gone from my family, and miles away.

~ JERROLD MUNDIS ~

Newcomer

I keep hearing that recovery is a bridge back to life, but I don’t think that I’ll ever have a decent relationship with my family. I called a family member on the phone last night and said that I was in recovery. I got such a skeptical response. It’s always the same story: no matter what I do, I can’t please these people.

Sponsor

It takes time to build a feeling of centeredness and self- worth. In the early days of my recovery, my sense of self was easily shattered by a word or look that confirmed my old belief that I didn’t deserve much. I had to practice “Easy does it,” especially with family members. I decided to keep family interactions light, for the time being. I made program calls just before and just after any call I made to my family. In time, I had enough self-esteem to face emotionally charged situations without threatening my recovery.

We have the responsibility to protect our new recovery by keeping some distance between ourselves and the people, places, and things that we drank or drugged or acted out over. And we have the opportunity to build self-esteem by participating in meetings. We can start simply: show up, help make coffee, set up chairs, empty ashtrays. We can listen, raise our hands to share, thank the speaker, say hello to another newcomer. Giving service, no matter how small the action, builds feelings of usefulness and self-respect.

Today, my thoughts and energy go into self-esteem, not self-rejection. I show up for my life. I deserve to surround myself with the love that is in the program.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

How many times have we postponed that call to the guy we sense needed us? We felt that he didn’t phone us just to “shoot the breeze.” True, he didn’t come right out and call for help, and we did have something else to do. We decided we would take care of it tomorrow and then found out that tomorrow was too late.

Today is truly the only day we have; what we can do, what we should do – we must do today.

The map of the United States is different today because Longstreet was one day late arriving at Gettysburg.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) Be grateful you have been given two ears and only one mouth.

2) Refuse to attack yourself.

3) Always remember we are being taken care of.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

What Is Best

O Lord, You know what is best for me. Let this or that be done, as you please. Give what You will, how much You will, and when You will.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

JESUS’ TEACHING

Jesus explains what the nature of God is, and what your own nature is; tells us the meaning of life and of death; shows us why we make mistakes; why we yield to temptation; why we become sick, and impoverished, and old; and, most important of all, he tells us how all these evils may be overcome, and how we may bring fulfillment into our lives, and into the lives of others.

Jesus warns us, not once but often, that obstinacy in sin can bring very severe punishment, and that a man who parts with the integrity of his soul—even though he gain the whole world—is a tragic fool. but he teaches that we are only punished for—and actually punished by—our own mistakes; and he teaches that every man or woman, no matter how steeped in evil and uncleanness, has always direct access to an all-loving, all-powerful Father-God, who will forgive him, and supply His own strength to him to enable him to find himself again.

If ye know that he is righteous, ye know that every one that doeth righteousness is born of him (1 John 2:29).

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Dolphins Await

Dismiss whatever insults your soul.

~ Walt Whitman ~

One night at a Hawaiian retreat, I had a vivid dream of swimming with dolphins. The next morning I attended a business meeting that I found boring and purposeless. Although I sat and tried to be present, all I could think about was going to the beach. When I recognized I was useless at the meeting, I politely excused myself and made a beeline for the beach. Soon after I arrived, a huge pod of dolphins surfaced in the bay, and I swam out to play with them. For a long time I was surrounded by their delightful presence, and I was thrilled to frolic with them. I was able to look into their eyes, which was like peering into a warm eternity. Was I ever glad I left the meeting!

If your spirit is not present where you are, and you feel intuitively called elsewhere, you must hearken to your inner voice. I am not encouraging you to be irresponsible and run away from things you need to do. I am encouraging you to be responsive to your spirit. It is not responsible to engage in activities that affront your soul.

Years ago I sat in a group with my teacher Hilda, watching a video of an old musical. I was tired and wanted to leave, but I felt socially obliged to stay. So I sat there and silently fumed; my body was present, but I was elsewhere. The next day when | told Hilda about my experience, she commented, “So you were the one who was fogging the atmosphere. I felt a disturbance somewhere in the group. You should have gotten up and gone when you wanted to. That would have been a greater service to yourself and everyone.”

Honor your soul by being where you belong.

Help me to be attuned to the call of my soul. Give me the courage to honor my intuition.

Spirit speaks to me through my heart, and I answer through my deeds.