I'm sure that you do really care for her. I'm sure some part of her really cares for you. But since she is still in the using cycle, the drugs are in control and she is not. If she has done the steps and is relapsing, she knows what she needs to do, but is not doing it. It may be hard to hear, but this relationship is going nowhere. In recovery, we are told not to start new relationships until we have at least one year of solid recovery. Since she is still using, the real she is not in control enough to know if she really cares for you or not. She needs to get back into rehab and continue her steps to recovery.
You might be doing her a bigger favor by telling her you will have nothing more to do with her until she has been clean and sober for say, 3 or 6 months. Otherwise, you will continue to be drawn into her drama.
If you cannot "quit" her yet, I am telling you that you should attend Nar-Anon or Al-Anon. They will teach you how not to become her codependent--because your addiction will be HER, and you could get almost as sick as she it.
She has the disease of addiction and it can cause sickness in everyone in the addicts life, unless the people involved take steps to either leave or take care of themselves.
Remember that you cannot save her. She has to be willing to get help. She will tell you she is; she will lie and manipulate as long as the drugs are in control.
Learn more and make sure you don't get drawn into someone else's sickness.
__________________
3/9/2015
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