Quote:
Saturday, April 5, 2014
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
I measure every Grief I meet With narrow, probing, Eyes - I wonder if it weighs like Mine - Or has an easier size.
—Emily Dickinson
How can we measure all the grief we feel, and how can we put up with it? Doesn't the Grief of Death weigh a ton or more? Doesn't it stretch out to a month, a year, or longer still? Is the Grief of Failure lighter than the Grief of Despair, but maybe longer? Isn't the Grief of Emptiness the heaviest of all? Whether we try to ignore or make light of it, our grief, like a ton of feathers or a ton of rocks, is all the same to us. This much is sure: if we lock our grief in, it will weigh more on us and lengthen out; if we open our hearts with weeping and words, others will help carry it away.
What old sadness can I let go of by sharing it today?
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Found out in recovery, that when I felt sad, whether it is from depression or grief, it is often compounded by memories from the past, that I didn't deal with properly, because I was using.
We didn't know how to grief and we generally didn't like the feelings that went with it, so we stuffed it and used to make them go away, be it people, places and things.
There have been times, when I have been on the computer, sitting in my chair, or just walking along and tears will come. I look at it as a healing, generally not aware of the origin, but know that it is a cleansing. It could have been something I asked for or a body memory.
When I find myself in an old pattern or behaviour, it is often something that I need to look at and identify, if possible, the source although that isn't always necessary, as long as I am open to the healing energy.