Thanks for sharing. You can't talk to someone who is in active addiction. It is their disease talking. She knows you would like her to quit but she has no willingness to do so, so she is going to lash out at you.
You need to look after your own spiritual well being, look at your hurt and pain. Take it to your sponsor, clergyman, confidant, close friend, and to your God.
If you are allowing her to rent space in your head and focusing on her, you are in active addiction. She is your drug of choice. Are you willing to let go and let God?
My prayers are with you.
