[irenehollimon]

I am so grateful today I can choose to be responsible. My alcoholic lifestyle allowed me to run away from all my responsibilities. To this day, I don't consider myself a very responsible person. But with the help of the program, I've learned to take it one day at a time and do what I can today. A little over ten years ago, my father died after a battle with cancer. I was there during the last year of his life but I also wasn't "there" either. My alcoholic life allowed me not see what was happening allowed me not to believe- so much so that when it actually happened and my father died- I was shocked. I had been there for a year and I didn't see it coming. When my mother would talk about those last days with with my father, she would how wonderful it was of my ex husband to sit with him be with him. As for me I didn't like my father all that much and I could not be bothered to spend time with him in his last days. That was my alcoholic lifestyle.
Today, while I regret that, I'm so grateful I have a second chance. I can choose to do it differently today. My mother is now suffering from dementia and alzheimer's. She is in a nursing home now. She hates the place and doesn't understand why she's there. Visiting her can be depressing and hard. How easy it would be for me to just disappear as I have so many times before? With the help of the program, I don't have to do that anymore. I can choose to do the next right thing. Thank you