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We practice what we are around and then it becomes a part of us. I learned some very ANGRY habits and had to break myself of them.
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Really like these words and totally agree. We are products of our environment. We try to control what happens around us. Every thing seems to be our fault, and even when it isn't, we always felt blamed, even if the words were not spoken.
I found that once I received a message, I applied those words to everything, especially if I heard it repeatedly. I seem to hear things and for some reason, I continued to listen to the tape, until I became aware in recovery that it was me who pushed the play button.
The words "ANGRY' habits were new to me. I don't think I ever put the words together in my own mind. I certainly was aware of them and acting out my anger on occasion but most of my anger was internalized. My biggest clue was my tongue and it was a tool that was very sharp and very cutting. The words bring to mind slamming doors, banging pots, or total silence, although I didn't often use that because it was like "Why cut off my nose to spite my face" (Why be silent when you want to talk), and I was guilty of a lot of verbal abuse, which often led to mental and emotional. It was like if you are going to hurt me, I will hurt you back.
So many of the characteristics of adult children are the same as those of an alcoholic, perhaps because they were from an alcoholic home and it is a family disease. Many ACoA members don't use the drug of choice of their parent, but pick up one of their own.
It can be an addiction to work, exercise, neatness, food, religion, games (for me it was darts and later bridge), and so many more things that don't come to mind. A lot of things you don't think of as drugs, but can all lead to the same soul sickness and habits.
I believe we are for the most part, products of our environment.