Quote:
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“Defiant individuals will always persecute others, yet will
always consider themselves persecuted.” - - Alfred Adler
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Learned long ago, that fighting acceptance only prolongs the agony. Defiance was one of the reasons I kept on using for many years, don't tell me, watch me. That didn't get me too far. Not only do I need to accept my disease, but when I accept the pain that goes along with it, that much faster, the solution appears.
Quote:
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"When you blame others, you give up your power to change."
- - Unknown
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In early recovery, I didn't think I had any faults after I quit using. After all, I was raised to be a good Christian girl.
It took me awhile to recognize that to err is human. I didn't want to admit to being human let alone the error. When I heard people say, "Well I am only human you know," I would get a resentment. I felt as though they used the saying as a cop out. They use their humanness to not change.
In today, I tell it as it is. What you see is what you get. As a friend said to me on Messenger the other night, "g/f you are just 2 2 funny. I never know what is going to come out of your mouth next."
Before recovery, it was all about the blame game. It was every one else's fault and the world owed me a favor as I was so hard done by.
Today I embrace change. I don't want to be that person any more. She was not very likable. She still has a lot of work to do on herself. God and I work on it one day at a time.
Before recovery, I thought I was the best. I thought I was being the best me I could be. I also learned that you can't know what you were never taught. I was very isolated on the farm growing up and didn't have a lot of people skills. I didn't have a best friend until I was 17. When I met her, I was the follower. As my disease progressed, I became the leading authority.
So glad that it is progress not perfection.
