Accepting my defects of character.
Tonight I was remembering that the ego (Easing God Out), kept track of how many times I had shared my story. I stopped counting somewhere between 50 and 60, so needless to say I had a big ego.
I got up at my group, speaking for a 3 year anniversary and shared, "I thought it was only men had egos, I found out that I have one too.
I had thought that I kept count because it was how many times I had been honoured by having someone ask me and reminded me that I was being of service, not sure if I was expecting a reward, I don't think so, but I think it was a way of patting myself on the back for being such a good girl.
It isn't about what I did, it is about what I am doing now. It is rewarding to go back to old post, that originated on my sites and posted to another one. That again sounds like ego. Not sure, the sites were places to put all the material that was sent to me over the years in recovery. The sad thing is that I have bowed out of that and seldom go to Facebook and to my in box. Most of the people on my mailing list don't correspond but there are a few special ones who do, when I reach out. I try, but hope to try harder in the future.
I have found many times over the years that I thought I was doing good, only to find I was tripping over my ego. So glad that I can take it to my God and ask for health and well being and have the ego taken from me.
