Thanks for this. I had several sponsees who went back out and a couple of them died. I questioned myself and asked myself what did I do wrong, should I have been more aggressive when they didn't want to work the Steps or go to meetings.
My sponsor told me, "You are not responsible if they stay sober or if they go back out." You can't help someone who doesn't want help. You can't help those who want a band aid and a quick fix to get healthy and go back out again.
As it says, all I can do is suggest. What my sponsee does with those suggestions, is up to them as to whether they choose to follow them, disregard them, or adjust them to what is good for them.
What worked for me might not work for others. Relapse was not an option. I had a real thirst and just soaked up everything around me. They say 90 meetings in 90 days, that doesn't mean quit after 90 days. I went to two, sometimes three meetings a day. At 10 years sober, I was doing 7-10 meetings a week because of service. My service today is how many times I can come and post on the sites. Without you, there is no me. You all carry the message of recovery to me.
Just because I had a feeling doesn't mean I have to act on it. That is what I had been doing wrong all of my life. Just because I had a thought, didn`t mean it should come out of my mouth. I am only as sick as my secrets, a sponsor is a good person to take them to. I had to bring them to light so they couldn`t stay in the dark and fester.
