Bluidkiti's Alcohol and Drug Addictions Recovery Help/Support Forums - View Single Post - Wisdom For Today

bluidkiti · 11-27-2015, 06:38 AM

November 28

Wisdom for Today

When I was active in my addiction, I was also very active in my being dishonest. I would lie to my family about where I was and what I was doing. I would lie to get money to buy drugs and alcohol. I would lie to my employer and call in sick. I would lie about my lies and would lie so that I could hide. I would lie to my friends, and I would lie to my children. Most of all, I lied to myself. It seemed that facing the reality of what I had become and myself was so distasteful that I would do anything to deceive myself and hide from the truth. There was a small part of me that somehow knew that I was damaged. I could not admit this to anyone, most of all I could not admit it to myself.

I got clean and sober, but to my surprise the lying did not automatically stop. "What do you mean be honest with my sponsor; how can I trust him? He's just another drunk." Developing a manner of living that demands rigorous honesty has been perhaps the hardest part of the recovery process for me. It was hard admitting to others and myself that I was an alcoholic and an addict. It was even harder to get honest about all my dark secrets. Dishonesty clearly was and still can be one of my biggest character defects. Learning to admit when I am wrong and learning that hiding only hurts me has not been easy. Fortunately recovery is about progress and not perfection. I have come a long way with my ability to be honest. But I also honestly know I am not done with this. Recovery is not so much about immediately being honest, but it is about becoming honest. Am I becoming more honest today than I was yesterday?

Meditations for the Heart

Each of us must face up to moments of truth -- times when we are confronted with the urge to lie, cover things up, misrepresent or just plain hide. The compulsion that an addict experiences when we want to lie is incredibly strong. Yet in these moments of truth, we can choose to do what is right. We can choose to do what our Higher Power would want us to do. Yes, sometimes this means that there will be consequences for our actions or behavior, but the consequence of dishonesty is by far greater. All those things we have regained as a result of God's gift of recovery can be lost again. The trust we re-establish in recovery can be blown away by the winds of deceit. The self-respect we regain can be destroyed in the flood of dishonesty. The very essence of freedom can be lost in the chains of manipulation. This character defect, above all others, can make recovery disappear in a brief moment. It can fester like an infected sore for a long time until finally it brings death to all that is important to us. Am I working on becoming more and more honest with others and myself?

Petitions to my Higher Power

God,
Today I can see clearly how destructive dishonesty has been and still can be in my life. Help me to find the courage to do Your will when I face those moments of truth. Teach me the benefits and the wisdom that comes with honesty. Let me become willing to let go of this defect of character.
Amen.

11-27-2015, 06:38 AM	#28
bluidkiti Administrator Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 70,587	November 28 Wisdom for Today When I was active in my addiction, I was also very active in my being dishonest. I would lie to my family about where I was and what I was doing. I would lie to get money to buy drugs and alcohol. I would lie to my employer and call in sick. I would lie about my lies and would lie so that I could hide. I would lie to my friends, and I would lie to my children. Most of all, I lied to myself. It seemed that facing the reality of what I had become and myself was so distasteful that I would do anything to deceive myself and hide from the truth. There was a small part of me that somehow knew that I was damaged. I could not admit this to anyone, most of all I could not admit it to myself. I got clean and sober, but to my surprise the lying did not automatically stop. "What do you mean be honest with my sponsor; how can I trust him? He's just another drunk." Developing a manner of living that demands rigorous honesty has been perhaps the hardest part of the recovery process for me. It was hard admitting to others and myself that I was an alcoholic and an addict. It was even harder to get honest about all my dark secrets. Dishonesty clearly was and still can be one of my biggest character defects. Learning to admit when I am wrong and learning that hiding only hurts me has not been easy. Fortunately recovery is about progress and not perfection. I have come a long way with my ability to be honest. But I also honestly know I am not done with this. Recovery is not so much about immediately being honest, but it is about becoming honest. Am I becoming more honest today than I was yesterday? Meditations for the Heart Each of us must face up to moments of truth -- times when we are confronted with the urge to lie, cover things up, misrepresent or just plain hide. The compulsion that an addict experiences when we want to lie is incredibly strong. Yet in these moments of truth, we can choose to do what is right. We can choose to do what our Higher Power would want us to do. Yes, sometimes this means that there will be consequences for our actions or behavior, but the consequence of dishonesty is by far greater. All those things we have regained as a result of God's gift of recovery can be lost again. The trust we re-establish in recovery can be blown away by the winds of deceit. The self-respect we regain can be destroyed in the flood of dishonesty. The very essence of freedom can be lost in the chains of manipulation. This character defect, above all others, can make recovery disappear in a brief moment. It can fester like an infected sore for a long time until finally it brings death to all that is important to us. Am I working on becoming more and more honest with others and myself? Petitions to my Higher Power God, Today I can see clearly how destructive dishonesty has been and still can be in my life. Help me to find the courage to do Your will when I face those moments of truth. Teach me the benefits and the wisdom that comes with honesty. Let me become willing to let go of this defect of character. Amen. __________________ "No matter what you have done up to this moment, you get 24 brand-new hours to spend every single day." --Brian Tracy AA gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves, with God's help, one day at a time. --Rufus K. When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. --Franklin D. Roosevelt We stay sober and clean together - one day at a time! God says that each of us is worth loving.