[bluidkiti]

January 5

Daily Reflections

TOTAL ACCEPTANCE

He cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will
be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without
it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will
be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.152

Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a
statement like this one. The double standard that held
me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with
terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going
to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's
going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me
ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total
acceptance of my alcoholism - with no reservations
whatsoever - and one that was absolutely essential for
my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had
ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary
one if I was to succeed in this program.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Have I turned to a Higher Power for help? Do I believe
that each man or woman I see in A.A. is a demonstration
of the power of God to change a human being from a
drunkard into a sober, useful citizen? Do I believe that
this Higher Power can help me from drinking? Am I living
one day at a time? Do I ask God to give me the power to
stay sober for each twenty-four hours? Do I attend A.A.
meetings regularly?

Meditation For The Day

I believe that God's presence brings peace and that peace,
like a quiet flowing river, will cleanse all irritants
away. In these quiet times, God will teach me how to rest
my nerves. I will not be afraid. I will learn how to relax.
When I am relaxed, God's strength will flow into me. I
will be at peace.

Prayer For The Day

I pray for that peace which passes all understanding.
I pray for that peace which the world can neither give
nor take away.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Maintenance and Growth, p. 5

It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility
and unhappiness. To the precise extent we permit these, do we squander
the hours that might have been worthwhile. But with the alcoholic,
whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this
business of harboring resentment is infinitely grave. For then we shut
ourselves off from the sunlight of the spirit. The insanity of alcohol
returns and we drink again. And with us, to drink is to die.

If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the
sudden rage were not for us. Anger is the dubious luxury of normal
men, but for us alcoholics it is poison.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 66
Letter, 1962

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

The problem of Gossip____Breaking free from faults.
Our character defects hand on tenaciously because we secretly enjoy or need them. Gossip is an example of this problem. Most of us know that gossip is mean and malicious, yet we enjoy the spurious self-satisfaction and self-importance it gives us.
However, this feeling of self-satisfaction and self-importance is fleeting. When we engage in GOSSIP, we feel guilty, uneasy, and ashamed. We also know the fear of being gossiped about when our own backs are turned, because those who gossip will betray their friends.
Our search for real growth in sobriety should include wiliness to part company with gossip. We also should not permit ourselves to gossip indirectly; that is, by pretending to "understand" another person to induce them to share personal information, or by introducing a subject with the intention of having gossip shared with us. We can also help ourselves by turning away from gossipy news stories and magazines. We cannot grow mentally and spiritually by reading about the misbehavior and shortcomings of others.
Knowing that my true good is in keeping straight, I will go through this one day without engaging in gossip.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.--Chinese proverb.
Life holds so many choices now that we are sober. We'd like to go so many places. We'd like to see so many things. We have so much to do. We are slowly learning how to trust our dreams and reach for them. Our program teaches us that we live One Day at a Time. We make progress by doing First Things First. Easy Does It. Our dreams may seem very big and far away. We wonder if we'll ever get there. But our faith tells us to go for it. And we know how: one step at a time.
PRAYER: Higher Power, help me know this gentle truth: my life matters. Help me set goals that I can grow toward, one step at a time.
ACTION: Today, I'll think about one of my goals. I will list ten little steps that will help me get there.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Instead of concentrating on why we can't do a thing, we would be wise to change our "Yes, but . . ." attitude to a more positive one. Saying "yes" means I really do want to change my life for the better. --Liane Cordes
We truly can do these things that are our "hearts' pure desires." However, most of us look at the whole task and feel overwhelmed. We need, instead, to look at the task's many parts. One part at a time, one day at a time, we can accomplish any goal we set for ourselves. I know a recovering woman who wrote a 300-page dissertation, the final achievement to obtain her PhD. When asked at a meeting how she ever did it, her reply was, "One word at a time." That's wonderful advice. No matter how many goals were missed or plans dashed when we were still using, now that we are recovering, each of us can do whatever is in our hearts--if we do it little by little, not all at once, today.
Today, I will do one small task that will contribute toward the achievement of a life goal.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM

Fred is a partner in a well known accounting firm. His income is good, he has a fine home, is happily married and the father of promising children of college age. He has so attractive a personality that he makes friends with everyone. If ever there was a successful business man, it is Fred. To all appearance he is a stable, well balanced individual. Yet, he is alcoholic. We first saw Fred about a year ago in a hospital where he had gone to recover from a bad case of jitters. It was his first experience of this kind, and he was much ashamed of it. Far from admitting he was an alcoholic , he told himself he came to the hospital to rest his nerves. The doctor intimated strongly that he might be worse than he realized. For a few days he was depressed about his condition. He made up his mind to quit drinking altogether. It never occurred to him that perhaps he could not do so, in spite of his character and standing. Fred would not believe himself an alcoholic, much less accept a spiritual remedy for his problem. We told him what we knew about alcoholism. He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long way from admitting that he could do nothing about it himself. He was positive that this humiliating experience, plus the knowledge he had acquired, would keep him sober the rest of his life. Self-knowledge would fix it.

pp. 39-40

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

The Vicious Cycle

How it finally broke a Southerner's obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.

Until I was thirteen I attended public schools, with regular promotions and average grades. I have never shown any particular talents, nor have I had any really frustrating ambitions. At thirteen I was packed off to a very fine Protestant boarding school in Virginia, where I stayed four years, graduating without any special achievements. In sports I made the track and tennis teams; I got along well with the other boys and had a fairly large circle of acquaintances but no intimate friends. I was never homesick and was always pretty self-sufficient.

p. 221

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Twelve - "Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

The best intentioned of us can fall for the "two step" illusion. Sooner or later the pink cloud stage wears off and things go disappointingly dull. We begin to think that A.A. doesn't pay off after all. We become puzzled and discouraged.

p. 113

************************************************** *********

"You can't brag that you're humble ... and be humble." --Terry McEwen

Be still like a mountain and flow like a river. --Lao-Tze

See how many people you personally can make smile today. --unknown

We experience peace, not panic, when we trust the power of God. --unknown

Your words can bring satisfaction, life, and death. We must take the consequences for what we say. --unknown

Speak kind words and you will hear kind echoes. --unknown

************************************************** *********

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

CHANGE

"It's the most unhappy people
who most fear change."
-- Mignon McLaughlin

When I was drinking, I hated change. I hated things not being the same. I feared
anything being different. Rarely did I want to go anywhere new. My attitudes were
fixed and rigid. I resented any criticism of my behavior. The unexpected was seen as
sabotage or a threat. My paranoia was extreme.

Today I have decided to let go of the control, the pretense and the arrogance. I face
life as it comes --- and today I do not drink. I am responsible for my life but I cannot
control the world. Today I am learning to relax in the acceptance of my disease.

May I always discover the courage to change the things I can.

************************************************** *********

The fruit of the light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth. Ephesians 5:9

The Lord upholds all who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down. Psalm 145 : 14

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace." Ephesians 4:2-3

"If you have faith as a mustard seed you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move." Matthew 17:20

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

People make mistakes, but seldom on purpose. Lord, may my patience with others grow and may I replace my frowns with smiles.

If you want peace and goodness in your life you must be kind and loving. Lord, may I avoid creating misery so that my life will reflect my love for You.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

January 5

Recovery at Home

"We can enjoy our families in a new way and may become a credit to them instead of an embarrassment or a burden."
Basic Text p. 100

We're doing great in recovery, aren't we? We go to a meeting every day, we spend every evening with our friends in the fellowship, and every weekend we dash off to a service workshop. But if things are falling to pieces at home, we're not doing so great after all.

We expect our families to understand. After all, we're not using drugs anymore. Why don't they recognize our progress? Don't they understand how important our meetings, our service, and our involvement with the fellowship are?

Our families will not appreciate the change NA is working in our lives unless we show them. If we rush off to a meeting the same way we rushed off to use drugs, what has changed? If we continue to ignore the needs and desires of our partners and children, failing to accept our responsibilities at home, we aren't "practicing these principles in all our affairs."

We must live the program everywhere we go, in everything we do. If we want the spiritual life to be more than a theory, we have to live it at home. When we do this, the people we share our lives with are sure to notice the change and be grateful that we've found NA.

Just for today: I will take my recovery home with me.

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We, too, the children of the earth, have our moon phases all through any year; the darkness, the delivery from darkness, the waxing and waning.
--Faith Baldwin
Let us think, for a moment, about the changes of the moon. In the beginning of its cycle, it is just a sliver in the darkness. Each night it grows larger until it reaches its full size. When the moon is full and rising, its orange glow fills the sky. All night its gentle light brightens everything it touches. But this fullness is only part of the life of the moon. For a while it grows smaller, then turns its dark side toward us before reappearing as a sliver and growing again to fullness. We are children of the earth, and we have our different moods and phases, too. There will be periods of darkness when we try to find our way by the light of the stars. Again and again we will grow to our full size, only to fade and grow again in a new way.


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Being human is difficult. Becoming human is a lifelong process. To be truly human is a gift. --Abraham Heschel
The processes of becoming more human, becoming a real person, and finding spiritual enlightenment are very similar. They require slow growth over time. We can only follow these paths in small steps, one day or one hour at a time. Many of us grew up in families with an addicted parent. We, too, went to great excesses and have been abusive to others and ourselves. Because of these problems, we developed a distorted outlook on life. Now we still demand quick and complete fixes for recovery.
Our program says, "Look to this day." It is a difficult path to learn, but we only take it in small steps. There are no instant fixes for any human being. Yet, when we surrender to the reality of life, we are given the gift of true humanity. We feel like real people, we love others, and we enjoy the pleasure of true contact with them.
I am grateful I can be a part of the process. Help me give up my drive to control it.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
There are as many ways to live and grow as there are people. Our own ways are the only ways that should matter to us.
--Evelyn Mandel
Wanting to control other people, to make them live as we'd have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this recovery program, in this life.
We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job. Learning to behave responsibly takes practice. Most of us in this recovery program have behaved irresponsibly for much of our lives. Emotional immaturity is slow to depart, but every responsible action we take gives us the courage for another--and then another. Our own fulfillment is the by-product of the accumulation of our own responsible actions. Others' actions need not concern us.
Today, I will weigh my behavior carefully. Responsible behavior builds gladness of heart.


You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go.
Relationships
If we are unhappy without a relationship, we'll probably be unhappy with one as well. A relationship doesn't begin our life; a relationship doesn't become our life. A relationship is a continuation of life. --Beyond Codependency
Relationships are the blessing and bane of recovery. Relationships are where we take our recovery show on the road.
Each day, we are faced with the prospect of functioning in several different relationships. Sometimes, we choose these relationships; sometimes, we don't. The one choice we usually have in our relationships concerns our own behavior. In recovery from codependency, our goal is to behave in ways that demonstrate responsibility for us.
We're learning to acknowledge our power to take care of ourselves in our relationships. We're learning to be intimate with people when possible.
Do we need to detach from someone who we've been trying to control? Is there someone we need to talk to, even though what we have to say may be uncomfortable? Is there someone we've been avoiding because we're afraid to take care of ourselves with that person? Do we need to make an amend? Is there someone we need to reach out to, or show love?
Recovery is not done apart from our relationships. Recovery is done by learning to own our power and to take care of ourselves in relationships.
Today, I will participate in my relationships to the best of my ability. I will make myself available for closeness and sharing with people I trust. I will ask for what I need and give what feels right.


Even when I have doubt I know a power greater than myself is guiding me on my path today. --Ruth Fishel

*****************************************

Journey To The Heart

Let Life Reveal Itself to You

You don’t have to strain so, trying to get your revelations. The guidance, the inspiration, the awareness you need will come to you.

The way we’re living now– from the heart– is much easier than the way we lived before. Sometimes it is so natural we might not understand what’s happening. We may even be uncomfortable at first with how easy it is. We find ourselves straining to lift a heavy bowling ball, when what we have to pick up is only a Ping Pong ball. Then we wonder why it feels so light. We may question whether there’s something wrong because it feels so different.

Just because your life feels lighter doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.

Your next step, the answer to the question you’ve been mulling about– the direction for the next stage of your growth, where you will live next, what you need to do next about work, money, or that problem you’ve been struggling with– will come. If you’re fussing and straining you may not hear it. Don’t worry about getting all your answers or your agenda for the years ahead. That is not how this process works. In order to participate in this more magical way of life, trust that all you need will be revealed to you when it is time.

Relax. You’re on a journey of discovery. Let life reveal itself to you.

*****************************************

More Language Of Letting Go

Move when it’s time

We were touring the ruins at Hovenweep National Monument in the southwestern United States. A sign along the interpretive trail told about the Anasazi who had lived along the small, narrow canyon so long ago. The archaelogists have done their best to determine what those ancient Indians did and how they lived their lives. The signs told about the strategic positioning of the buildings perched precariously on the edge of a cliff, and questioned what had caused this ancient group to suddenly disappear long ago.

“Maybe they just got tired of living here and moved,” my friend said.

We laughed as we pictured a group of wise ancients sitting around a campfire one night. “You know,” says one of them. “I’m tired of this desert. Let’s move to the beach.” And in our story they did. No mystery. No aliens takiing them away. They just moved on, much like we do today.

It’s easy to romanticize what we don’t know. It’s easy to assume that someone else must have a greater vision, a nobler purpose than just going to work, having a family, and living a life. People are people, and have been throughout time. Our problems aren’t new or unique. The secret to happiness is the same as it has always been. If you are unhappy with where you are, don’t be there. Yes, you may be here now, you may be learning hard lessons today, but there is no reason to stay there. If it hurts to touch the stove, don’t touch it. If you want to be someplace else, move. If you want to chase a dream, then do it. Learn your lessons where you are, but don’t close off your ability to move, and to learn new lessons someplace else.

Are you happy with the path that you’re on? If not, maybe it’s time to choose a new one. There need not be a great mysterious reason. Sometimes it’s just hot and dry, and the beach is calling your name.

Be where you want to be.

God, give me the courage to find a path with heart. Help me move on when it’s time.

*****************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“Vision is, I think, the ability to make good estimates,” wrote Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. “Some might feel this sort of striving to be heresy against ‘One Day At A Time.’ But that valuable principle really refers to our mental and emotional lives, and means chiefly that we are not foolishly to repine over the past nor wishfully daydream about the future.” Can i believe that “A day has a hundred pockets when one has much to put in them…”?

Today I Pray

I pray that the bright colors of this day may not be blurred by muted vagaries of the future or dulled by storm-gray remnants from the past. I pray that my Higher Power will help me to choose my actions and concerns out of the wealth of busyness that each day offers.

Today I Will Remember

I will not lose for today,
If I choose for Today.

*****************************************

One More Day

We are never as fortunate or as unfortunate as we suppose.
– La Rouchefoucauld

Pain, especially continual pain, is very draining and is often one of the largest problems associated with chronic illness. In the beginning we may have reacted to our pain with anger or whining and, in doing so, came to see ourselves as victims or martyrs. That self-image made us feel helpless, powerless.

Now, we’re better able to understand pain, not as a curse thrust upon us, but as our bodies’ normal function. Pain, is a signal and sometimes a warning. But pain can assist us now in better management of our illnesses by helping us regain some of our personal power and inner strength. Methods such as relaxation therapy, biofeedback, and self-hypnosis can all work on different levels to control our pain. Appropriate exercise can also be an excellent method of pain control.

I will explore ways to deal with my pain.

************************************

Food For Thought

Less Food, More Energy

When we have used excess food as a crutch for years, we think we need it to "keep up our energy." We have become especially dependent on the refined carbohydrates, sugar and flour, to give us a quick pickup when we are tired.

The truth of the matter is that the pickup, that sharp rise in blood sugar we got when we ate refined sugar and flour, was soon followed by an even sharper letdown. We ended up more tired than when we began! Excess food of any kind makes us groggy and lethargic.

When we eliminate the wrong kind of food and eat only the amount, which our bodies need for optimum functioning, we are amazed at the supply of energy we suddenly have. Jobs, which we have put off doing for years, begin to get done. We feel good. Instead of spending unnecessary time for extra eating and digesting, we have that time to use in productive, enjoyable activity.

Try it and see.

Lord, strengthen my body to serve You.

************************************************** *********

One Day At A Time

PERSEVERANCE

“Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you face trials of many kinds,
because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.
Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete,
not lacking anything.” . . . James 1:2

It’s always been easy for me to feel sorry for myself. My life has been difficult since I was a very young child, and early on I developed a chip on my shoulder the size of a boulder. “Surely no one has ever suffered what I suffer,” I often told myself. I used my pain and loneliness as excuses for bitterness, cynicism, arrogance, and harshness. In a twisted manifestation of my sickness, I held onto my suffering as though it were a precious testament to how “special” I was. I was actually Proud of my hardships! By doing this, I was mocking James’ instruction to consider trials of our faith as reasons to rejoice, and I was sentencing myself to years of immaturity, lack of faith, conflict, resentment, and heartache.

Because I held onto my arrogant, self-defeating attitude, the trials I faced led only to more and more illnesses of my body, mind, soul, and spirit. I was a prisoner in my own mind – ignoring the fact that I held in my hand the key to my freedom.

In the last six months I have been hit with more profoundly chaotic, agonizing, destructive trials of faith than I’ve encountered in the last ten years. The number, frequency, and intensity of these events did what my rational mind could not do – they brought me to my knees and led me to finally surrender my efforts to control my life.

I thank God for the friends He’s given me in Recovery. Trusted Servants have prayed for me, listened to me, and encouraged me. They have shared with me their own stories of suffering and the growth they have gained through it. With God’s grace and the support of dear friends, I am learning to release my twisted hold on Suffering, and to instead cooperate with God’s work in me. As I focus my attention on the lessons He has for me, I find that even the most painful trials I face can – and will – produce perseverance and maturity, one day at a time.

One day at a time ... I will choose to welcome the lessons and growth that God has for me – even when they come disguised as horrific events in my life. I will choose perseverance over bitterness.

~ Lisa

************************************************** *********

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. - Pg. 101 - Working With Others

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

This is the greatest journey of our life. Before we lived to the dictates of that first fix, pill, drink, smoke, or snort. Today we begin living to the dictates of spiritual law. It is our most difficult task. It will take everything we have and it will be worth a thousand times more then that.

Take my hand God, as I understand You, and direct me in this most difficult task.

Opening to the New

Each new day is a gift. Today I will open the day slowly, like a present that's wrapped in hours. I will be open to what my world offers me. The world comes to greet me like an old friend each morning. My daily habits comfort and ground me. The thought of moving into my day pleases me. Life unfolds one second at a time and today I will be present to witness it. How much of my life do I let pass by unnoticed? How many of my feelings go unfelt? Today I will recognize that my time on earth is limited. I choose to value my life a day at a time and embrace it while I have it.

I am open to life.
- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

'This time, like all times, is a very good one if we but know what to do with it.' ~Ralph Waldo Emerson. Every thought you have can be part of a continuous prayer and everything you do can be your practice of healing.

If I'm not happy today, what am I waiting for?

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

It is One Day At A Time - In A Row!

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am willing to let go and let God in my life. I am getting my self-will out of the way.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

A man can be a drunk sometimes, but a drunk can't be a man. - George Jones song.