We certainly get caught up in self and then I went the other extreme and didn't care, or so I told myself. It all boiled down to low self-esteem and self-worth.
I need to learn to value myself and put back the values that my disease had discarded along the way. I needed to be secure within myself, not look to outside things to make me feel better. I used make up, dangly earrings, different hairstyles and colors, all to try to improve upon the outside picture, when all I needed to do was go within, and fill up with spiritual things, then and only then, did my true beauty shine through.
Quote:
Grapevine Quote from April 2004
"I THOUGHT GOD WOULD OPEN UP THE GATES OF HEAVEN AND LET ME IN. HE DIDN'T. HE OPENED UP THE GATES OF HELL AND LET ME OUT"
"IT IS EASIER TO STAY STRAIGHT THEN TO GET STRAIGHT"
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This is the CA version of the same quote:
I'm not certain in mind or heart if our Good Lord through His mercy love and wisdom will open up the Gates of Heaven and allow ME in. But from what I realize of my horrid past, through the 12 steps and the adorned fellowship, He certainly opened up the gates of Hell and let me out.
